Why!!???

[BabyGirl Rosie]

Originally Posted by slthoeny

I think a lot of people let their passion for yorkies over ride the most effective way to help educate people. I too have noticed a lot of people wanting help and information. They come and post a question, and get blasted because of their ignorance. Instead of giving instruction in a way that will keep newbies around it is often done in a very harsh manner. The information is legitimate, but is lost in the overall tone of the message. How many people join and post a question, and never come back? They are people that as a group we can help educate, but instead we run them off.

Again, this is just my opinion. I think some of these people come on here and have already made up their minds on what they want to do. Not all but some. And them when the members don't fully agree with them the thread turns ugly. It is almost like they just want us to all say it is ok, do whatever you want to. I came here the first time because my pup was sick. I was told go to the vet, your pup needs to see a vet, take her to the vet, etc. The members are telling you this based on their experience with the breed. Did I want to hear go to the vet? No, I wanted them to tell me what to do so I didn't have to go. But I ended up going and it was the right thing to do.

Now, I know that based on their experience they are much more knowledgeable than me. I did not let this stop me from coming back. Because I wanted to become more educated as a Yorkie mom. I think if you are any forum at all, you have to be able to get a little "thick skinned" and be able to read each post with an open mind. If someone gets "aggressive" and the poster don't agree, they need to hit the ignore button. That way education does happen. Not hurt feelings, banned members, or loss of members new or old. Also, the "troll" that shows up occasionally makes us put up our guard. Sad as it is, it only takes one bad apple. Right?

[NewYorksBrandy]

I know for a fact that I found this website because I was looking for help.. I'm a first time yorkie owner who has no friends who own small dogs.. I didn't know what to do when My Brandy got sick so when I found this forum it was like a blessing to me. really needed support and I found it here. So i'm not sure if that's what your talking about. I love my dog so much I have back and forth with her from vet to vet and home sleeping with her in her kennel and staying up all night because she couldn't sleep. I thought this forum was to educate and help others. I found with being her I'm a better mommy for my Brandy because of all the advise and information I have received and also I found that i did a better job then the vet to get her better because of all the people who has reached out to me..

[SweetLifetime]

I agree that people need to get more thick-skinned about taking on helpful advice or even contructive criticism. But I also think sometimes we (yes, even me) hide behind that piece of advice and use it as a way to not have to be as careful with how we talk to others.

I don't have any specific people or specifc threads in mind so I'm definitely not pointing fingers. I'm just saying that in general, sometimes I've noticed that the impact of some truly good advice is lessened when the giver doesn't take time to consider both the dog AND the person the advice is aimed at. Honestly, this is an internet forum which makes communication harder. And I don't think anyone here ever means to come off badly. I just think that sometimes in our passion over the topic or zeal to get a good message across, our tone is occasionally overlooked. And unfortunately in a medium where non-verbal cues like eye contact and tone of voice don't exist, it can be easy to misunderstand how something is being delivered.

So it's a two-way street, you know? We all need to realize that it's easy to be misunderstood online and give the benefit of the doubt both when reading and writing responses.

[Lil Sis]

I think I understand what the op is saying. I will add that I find more good than bad on yt...and I feel I have true friends here.

But...there are all kinds, as there is in all parts of our lives. For the most part I have learned a lot, and am a little embarrassed of some of my early posts! There are a few that make me mad...the" know it alls I am always right and in your face rude person"is one...and the other is the "ones who will not listen and don't do what is right for their dogs!" Of course sometimes what is right is a matter of opinion...bur not in some of the health/ life or death cases I have seen! So far the good far out weights the bad...and maybe the know it all is just having a bad day! Imo

[Teegy]

Nature of the beast, lack of tactical approach, just get in here and get a big hug from the rest of us

[Jeepmom]

Originally Posted by BabyGirl Rosie

Again, this is just my opinion. I think some of these people come on here and have already made up their minds on what they want to do. Not all but some. And them when the members don't fully agree with them the thread turns ugly. It is almost like they just want us to all say it is ok, do whatever you want to. I came here the first time because my pup was sick. I was told go to the vet, your pup needs to see a vet, take her to the vet, etc. The members are telling you this based on their experience with the breed. Did I want to hear go to the vet? No, I wanted them to tell me what to do so I didn't have to go. But I ended up going and it was the right thing to do.

Now, I know that based on their experience they are much more knowledgeable than me. I did not let this stop me from coming back. Because I wanted to become more educated as a Yorkie mom. I think if you are any forum at all, you have to be able to get a little "thick skinned" and be able to read each post with an open mind. If someone gets "aggressive" and
the poster don't agree, they need to hit the ignore button. That way education does happen. Not hurt feelings, banned members, or loss of members new or old. Also, the "troll" that shows up occasionally makes us put up our guard. Sad as it is, it only takes one bad apple. Right?

I agree, as they say it takes just one to spoil the bunch.

I would prefer to waist my time on a troll, then turn my back on someone who may need help. I have learned in life that if there is a shred of decency in someone it is worth the time to try to help. But that is just my opinion. When I say a thread goes wrong, I am referring to the threads where posters disagree and take over the thread with their arguing. Agree to disagree and get back to helping the OP. I am not trying to saying anyone is wrong in their opinions or change their ways, trust me I am not perfect, I just know how I will treat others while on this forum.

[Jeepmom]

Originally Posted by Teegy

Nature of the beast, lack of tactical approach, just get in here and get a big hug from the rest of us

[BLowry]

Originally Posted by SweetLifetime

I agree that people need to get more thick-skinned about taking on helpful advice or even contructive criticism. But I also think sometimes we (yes, even me) hide behind that piece of advice and use it as a way to not have to be as careful with how we talk to others.

I don't have any specific people or specifc threads in mind so I'm definitely not pointing fingers. I'm just saying that in general, sometimes I've noticed that the impact of some truly good advice is lessened when the giver doesn't take time to consider both the dog AND the person the advice is aimed at. Honestly, this is an internet forum which makes communication harder. And I don't think anyone here ever means to come off badly. I just think that sometimes in our passion over the topic or zeal to get a good message across, our tone is occasionally overlooked. And unfortunately in a medium where non-verbal cues like eye contact and tone of voice don't exist, it can be easy to misunderstand how something is being delivered.

So it's a two-way street, you know? We all need to realize that it's easy to be misunderstood online and give the benefit of the doubt both when reading and writing responses.

thick skin has nothing to do with it....I notice you are a relatively new member...I have been here for a while and have seen new members come on here with a questions and getting blasted for it...then you never see them again...you can give advise and opinions with out insulting or hurting people...I love this forum...the best one around...some people come on here as new pet owners and know nothing about what they are doing....I agree they should research and read as much as they can to familiarize themselves with the breed before becoming an owner...however...it doesn't always work that way... that's why we have such a large forum of wonderful people with tons of info!!! don't know what I would have done without some of the friends/members on here when I got my first yorkie...unfortunately I don't see them on here anymore...because of some of the negative comments...

[Jeepmom]

Originally Posted by NewYorksBrandy

I know for a fact that I found this website because I was looking for help.. I'm a first time yorkie owner who has no friends who own small dogs.. I didn't know what to do when My Brandy got sick so when I found this forum it was like a blessing to me. really needed support and I found it here. So i'm not sure if that's what your talking about. I love my dog so much I have back and forth with her from vet to vet and home sleeping with her in her kennel and staying up all night because she couldn't sleep. I thought this forum was to educate and help others. I found with being her I'm a better mommy for my Brandy because of all the advise and information I have received and also I found that i did a better job then the vet to get her better because of all the people who has reached out to me..

I found this site looking for others who love their babies as much as I do. My friends poke fun at me and say I treat my babies better than my family. I tell them it is because I love them more than my family most days.

[BLowry]

Originally Posted by Lil Sis

I think I understand what the op is saying. I will add that I find more good than bad on yt...and I feel I have true friends here.

But...there are all kinds, as there is in all parts of our lives. For the most part I have learned a lot, and am a little embarrassed of some of my early posts! There are a few that make me mad...the" know it alls I am always right and in your face rude person"is one...and the other is the "ones who will not listen and don't do what is right for their dogs!" Of course sometimes what is right is a matter of opinion...bur not in some of the health/ life or death cases I have seen! So far the good far out weights the bad...and maybe the know it all is just having a bad day! Imo

I agree!

[BLowry]

Originally Posted by Jeepmom

I agree, as they say it takes just one to spoil the bunch.

I would prefer to waist my time on a troll, then turn my back on someone who may need help. I have learned in life that if there is a shred of decency in someone it is worth the time to try to help. But that is just my opinion. When I say a thread goes wrong, I am referring to the threads where posters disagree and take over the thread with their arguing. Agree to disagree and get back to helping the OP. I am not trying to saying anyone is wrong in their opinions or change their ways, trust me I am not perfect, I just know how I will treat others while on this forum.

[BabyGirl Rosie]

Originally Posted by Jeepmom

I agree, as they say it takes just one to spoil the bunch.

I would prefer to waist my time on a troll, then turn my back on someone who may need help. I have learned in life that if there is a shred of decency in someone it is worth the time to try to help. But that is just my opinion. When I say a thread goes wrong, I am referring to the threads where posters disagree and take over the thread with their arguing. Agree to disagree and get back to helping the OP. I am not trying to saying anyone is wrong in their opinions or change their ways, trust me I am not perfect, I just know how I will treat others while on this forum.

I agree with you that helping is what it is all about. Some are here for the help while others are not. Which is why there are many threads that I just walk away from. Again, the ignore feature can be very useful. Sometimes I thing the wrong members gets the "butt of the blow" on the disagreements. But that is just my opinion. I too try to see the good in each person. Sometimes that is very hard to do. Also, sometimes reading posts can come across differently than intended. Putting feelings in writing is hard to do. And get misread.

I just hope that YT can be here to help those who really want it. The members here have so much to offer. I have found so many to be very helpful to me in my situations. Honestly, I wish there was an easier way to identify the trolls and prevent the disagreements from happening. I guess that would be living in a perfect world.

[chachi]

The problem is some people who post dont want help at all. They just want people to go along with what they are doing is okay. When you try to give help or guidance they just want to argue with you or call you rude because you dont agree with what they are doing.

[bchgirl]

I have read plenty of threads where the OP's original question was never even answered because so many people were too busy..."educating".

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by Jeepmom

I agree. We all know there are irresponsible owners out there. If they come here looking for help and are ran off. What are the members doing to help them or their babies? Give your honest opinion, but try not to blast them or call them trolls. We may just help another lost soul have a better life.

This is a great post.

This is my opinion as a mod: YT has always tried to allow as many opinions as possible. A personal attack or name calling is not an opinion.

This isn't an issue about whether or not YT allows opinions - it's about giving people a chance. It's really that simple. If there are times when things are starting to go badly - step away for a minute. I'm not saying be all nicety-nice or fake, I'm saying that there are ways to question a new poster or to resolve things and be direct, instead of letting someone push your buttons.

Please everyone, do not think this is directed at one person, one thread, ten people, or ten threads -- this type of thing has happened before and we all know it (I'd venture to guess we've ALL had a hand in things going awry sometime or another). Things go off the path sometimes, in every section of this community - it's not about who said this or that - it's a bigger picture than that.