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11-17-2011, 10:18 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 112
| Ticked (no pun intended) off...Venting... So yesterday after work, my 'friend' comes up to me and tells me that her 1 year old Beagle is "howling in pain" and is having some sort of allergic reaction (itching like crazy) to the flea and tick medication they put on her. Earlier in the day she had told me that it was Sergeant's that they used because it was one of the cheaper brands. Now, when my fiance and I put Buster on a flea and tick preventative I did A LOT of research online before picking one. I eventually picked Advantix II because it had good (if not the best) reviews. The DF wasn't too thrilled with the price but I b*tched until he caved and we charged it to our credit card because I'm NOT taking risks with my baby. While researching for Busters flea and tick stuff I read HORROR stories about Hartz and Sergeant's. Cats and dogs.. having terrible reactions, chemical burns, getting sick and some even DYING. I'm sure it doesn't affect all dogs/cats but its still scary .. So needless to say when my friend told me how her dog was acting after telling me they used Sergeant's my first reaction was "She could die!" I told her that I read a lot of stories online about dogs getting pretty sick and/or dying from some flea and tick meds and it might be best to get her to a vet if she is acting like that. Well, I could tell I upset her and she left... so I send her a text saying that i was sorry, I wasn't trying to be mean or scare her it's just that reaction doesn't sound "normal" and that stuff can seriosly harm animals. I also said that one option is to bath her with Dawn dish soap. Well she comes back at me attacking me saying I said the wrong thing and she doesn't need to hear that and she doesn't have money like I do to run to the vet like I would, saying that sometimes I sound stuck up and I have an answer for everything... She then proceeds to tell me that her dog has reacted this way before... WELL EXCUSE ME... sorry I didn't know your dog has had that kind of reaction before and sorry I was more concerned about your dogs life than I was about your feelings... I was just trying to be honest with her and sometimes being honest means telling someone something they don't wanna hear... And how dare she take a dig at me financially like that... my DF and I both work full-time AND go to school... times are tough and like a lot of other people we are barely making it.. hence why we put Buster's Advantix II on a credit card... I KNOW this girl has a credit card she could have done the same thing we did.... I don't care how much money I have if something is wrong with my dog he's going to the vet.. idc if i have to open up a credit card just for him or beg family or sell things.. he's being taken care of! He's my baby and he depends on me and I'm not going to let him down because of my financial situation.. i mean geez I'll buy food for him before I buy food for myself! I dunno I am just really upset by the whole thing.. I ended up ending the fight and simply saying "Sometimes I think the worst of a situation, I didn't know she acted like that before and thats why I tried to apologize" Which she then replied "I understand." and we havent said more that 2 words to eachother since... If someone actually reads all of this then God bless you! lol ... like I said this upset me and i really needed to vent and wasn't she where else to go... I mean was I wrong??? Was her response right?? I just don't know... Thanks again for lisrening everyone...
__________________ Love, Angela & Buster Last edited by BustersMom13; 11-17-2011 at 10:23 AM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
11-17-2011, 10:28 AM | #2 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| You had the dogs welfare in your best interests when you told her. She is reacting defensively because she knows you are right but shes not going to admit it. It is obvious she doesnt put a priority on her dogs well being and maybe she also sees that you do and feels defensive because of that. The bottom line is though that those type of flea preventives and shampoos have caused problems and deaths with some animals and you were relaying what you knew to her. It is her problem not yours. stick around here long enough and you will see the same defensive actions coming from some posters on here when you tell them something they dont want to hear because they dont want to do anything about it
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
11-17-2011, 10:34 AM | #3 |
And Rylee Finnegan Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Metro Detroit, MI
Posts: 17,928
| The only thing you did wrong was try to apologize. Dog was/is suffering. The ONLY right answer is to go to the vet. If they can't afford it, they need to rehome. If they don't want to rehome and the animal is suffering, then they need to euthanize. I'm sure I irritate friends and family too with my insistence that they get veterinary care for their animals, but when something is really wrong, guess who they call first... If an animal is suffering, that is more important to me than hurting some feeling. Of course I always try to be kind (and you were), but that doesn't change my message to them - go to the vet.
__________________ Crystal, Ellie May (RIP), Rylee Finnegan, and Gracie Boo🐶 |
11-17-2011, 11:08 AM | #4 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Memphis, TN USA
Posts: 1,078
| Life is too short to surround ourselves with negative people. You did what you thought was the right thing. If your "friend" has issues, perhaps new friends are in order. |
11-17-2011, 11:08 AM | #5 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Alpharetta, GA, USA
Posts: 1,190
| Quote:
__________________ "I do not at all understand the mystery of grace-only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us"-Anne Lamott | |
11-17-2011, 11:14 AM | #6 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,293
| You did the right thing. My question is what the H**L was she doing at work while her dog was at home "howling in pain"???? Poor baby. I hope she took care of him.
__________________ "The little furry buggers are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into." ~ Bruce Schimmel |
11-17-2011, 11:22 AM | #7 |
YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 445
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__________________ loving mother to Emme, Nigel and Marjarita RIP Gizmo and Lola |
11-17-2011, 11:35 AM | #8 |
Izzy's Momma Too! Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stuart, Florida
Posts: 8,799
| She got so defensive because she knew you were RIGHT. What really ticks me off about this is that the dog had this reaction before and she STILL put that crap on it again I feel sorry for her dog. I guess some people just get all resentful if they feel someone else is doing better than they are, even if it's not so. Immaturity and a poor attitude make for lousy friends
__________________ Tracy, Mom to Izzy and Luna |
11-17-2011, 11:39 AM | #9 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 112
| Thanks Everyone... All of your responses make a lot of sense.. and I needed to see them. I was seriously contemplating if I was a bad person or not... something she also said "you dont have to be so cold to everything" because my first response was "She can die" made me wonder if I was like cold hearted or something?!? I think she makes things sound worse then they are... drama. Maybe I was too forward or too blunt (shes an overly sensative person) but i think the things she came back at me with, after I tried apologizing, were out of line... maybe i need to re-evaluate this friendship...
__________________ Love, Angela & Buster |
11-17-2011, 11:56 AM | #10 |
Hook Em! Bevo & Mack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Texas
Posts: 3,752
| yup...I agree....She got angry because she knew you were right... And I suppose if she didnt want you opinion...she shouldnt have asked for it!!!
__________________ Kendra Bevo and Mack & grandpups Bryleigh and Jaxon |
11-17-2011, 12:18 PM | #11 |
Living In Paradise! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Ewa Beach on the island of Oahu
Posts: 3,588
| Apparently she doesn't realize she has/had a good friend. If you didn't care about her..or more so her dog then you could of shrugged it off. I would not get offended if someone was just trying to help. I would thank them. And I agree with previous poster...YOU had nothing to apologize for. Hugs..hope your day gets better
__________________ Aloha & Have a wonderful day! Roni~ Ahi Shibi Roxie Heart Alize & Prada |
11-17-2011, 01:18 PM | #12 |
Yorkie mom of 4 Donating YT Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: LaPlata, Md
Posts: 23,247
| Well I figure when he had the reaction before that she probably didn't take him to the vet either and whether he had that reaction before or not its not normal and if someone cannot afford vet care they should not have a dog. I am so tired of people not taking care of there dogs and taking them to the vet when they need to go. I don't think you were wrong at all.
__________________ Taylor My babies Joey, Penny ,Ollie & Dixie Callie Mae, you will forever be in my heart! |
11-17-2011, 01:32 PM | #13 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,234
| You had the dog's welfare in mind, which she should have and I think you have nothing to be sorry about. You told her the truth. I think some people just don't want to admit they are wrong or don't want to be told what to do. She should appreciate your concern and appreciate you as a friend. Maybe she will listen before its too late for that poor little baby. |
11-17-2011, 01:32 PM | #14 | |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York
Posts: 3,896
| Quote:
As far as money goes, everyone is feeling the crunch. You have to have priorities, which you do. When Sammy was alive I had a Visa card just for him in case anything came up. Thankfully, I only had to use it once. Your friend reacted the way she did because she couldn't admit that you were right. | |
11-17-2011, 02:19 PM | #15 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2011 Location: Canada
Posts: 129
| Quote:
Sorry to hear about the pup having such a terible reaction and hope he's going to be ok and sorry things didn't go terribly smoothly with your friend. | |
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