Help... Now Oliver bit my boyfriend - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

gidget529 · 05-08-2011, 07:47 PM

I agree w you, poor little Oliver was probably abused by a man. It's probably going to take time for him to trust a man again. David's just going to have to show his fatherly side (I'm sure he would want you to think he would be a good father in the future, it's a selling point) and show patience and love to this hurt little soul. It's like adopting a child who has been abused, it takes time to heal those wounds. It sounds like Oliver's mommy understands and is just the kind soul to show him love and help heal his wounds.

gidget529 · 05-08-2011, 07:50 PM

Actually, I just remembered (sorry, middle age), I knew someone who came out of an abusive marriage and her dog watched the abuse and did not like men afterwards. When she got a serious boyfriend, the dog used to growl at him when he walked toward the dog. A trainer told her to have the bf walk backwards towards the dog - it's less threatening to the animal. Eventually that method worked, and the dog got over his fear of her bf (and eventually he could walk towards the dog facing it).

kkephart · 05-08-2011, 07:57 PM

Sorry ... just trying to catch up...
I'm actually honored that Steve gave me some advice... and I will take note of that I love the advice he gives others
@Megansmom- I always love your advice to others and I have ordered Oliver some belly bands... thanks so much for taking the time to help!

kkephart · 05-08-2011, 08:03 PM

Thanks Gigit... I will try that... or have him try it. So here is the question... next weekend I am supposed to go to his house... Do I bring Oliver??? I thing I Have to... if I am going to pursue this relationship then Oliver is the core of that for me. Call me silly... but I am 34 with no kids and Oliver is my child... I would like to see how he reacts when on another turf... thoughts...

gidget529 · 05-08-2011, 08:20 PM

I see what you're thinking.. maybe he'd be less defensive if he didn't feel his home was threatened. I am not sure. I am wondering if maybe starting another thread asking for help from the ppl w rescue/training experience to give you some opinions on how to work with little Oliver to help him over this hump. There are experienced rescue ppl on the site who have experience helping poor little souls heal.

Britster · 05-09-2011, 06:05 AM

If you are going to try and make this work.... it's going to take time and patience and the BF is going to have to understand that. What is Oliver's favorite food? I would get his highest form of reward, such as plain chicken breast, cheese, etc. You should have his favorite food or treat come out ONLY when he is around the boyfriend. He will then associate the BF with the good food. Don't have the BF just walk straight up to him and try to put food in his face... slowly have him drop a trail of food behind him as he walks so that Oliver may follow. I would tell the BF not to try and pet him for a while (a few weeks)... build up that trust and communication first and take things slow. Then maybe boyfriend can sit on the ground at his level and drop the food, slowly getting it closer and closer to the BF but still not petting him. It's going to take time but I think you can do it!

Actually clicker training is really good for shy or reserved dogs because it's totally hands-off, I bet if you give it a shot, it will be fun! Jackson was pretty shy with strange people but in the last year, his confidence has gone WAY up! He now willingly goes up to strangers and accepts being pet and seems to enjoy it.... when he is doing his tricks, his confidence is through the roof. He just eats it up! I enjoy trick training so he does a ton of tricks and he loves the attention he gets from people when doing them! So the clicker training really helped his confidence, our agility class also helped a ton. Any kind of training you guys can do with him will help him out a lot. I pretty much always have treats on me when we are out in public so if a person presents themselves to us I can turn into a somewhat training session. If someone wants to pet him, I'd ask them to give him a treat first and then pet him under his chin... so he learned that strangers = not bad!

Sunnie · 05-09-2011, 10:49 AM

I hope I didn't make you feel like I was blaming it all on you. My whole point was that you ALL need to work together and I thinkl I was reacting to everyone saying dump the BF when none of us really know if he intentionally did anything wrong. Ir really needs to be a joint effort.

Buster Brown · 05-09-2011, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunnie

I hope I didn't make you feel like I was blaming it all on you. My whole point was that you ALL need to work together and I thinkl I was reacting to everyone saying dump the BF when none of us really know if he intentionally did anything wrong. Ir really needs to be a joint effort.

I agree your dog reacting may have more to do with issues due to his previous life than with your new boyfriend. I was reading your earlier posts that Oliver snapped at your friend Alice who was staying with you
" I just had to update... Oliver isn't doing so hot on his temper. It looks like my friend may be staying for a while... and he has actually gotten worse when it comes to barking at her. She has fed him, taken him on walks etc... but he gets angry when she walks through the door.... snarling and barking. I discourage it everytime and put him on the floor and he keeps snarling. As soon as she walks up to him .. he will let her pet on him... but 2 min later he will snarl when she gets up... I'm confused He doesn't do this with anyone else! " So he obviously has some issues. I would find a trainer who is an animal behaviorist and work on Oliver's aggression issues. I do not think it is just with men since he is erratic with you friend Alice as well. I think it is good that your boyfriend goes to training with you so he learns how to approach and correct Oliver. Sorry but it does sound like Oliver has aggression issues and you want to make sure to deal with this as it will not just go away and Oliver may bite some one else. Sorry but as Oliver's owner the resposibility is yours.

kkephart · 05-09-2011, 05:31 PM

@ Sunnie- I took no offense at all.. I appreciate your response! I was wanting advice and thats what I got. I do agree it will take a joint effort wether I stay in this relationship or not.

@ Buster Brown- thanks for your response.. yes Oliver started the growling and barking at Amy... thats what I had stated in my original post. You are right... Oliver is my baby so I'm responsible for training him. As I have learned from other posts.. its also my responsibility to train other people how to handle him. I'm looking into trainers now.

kkephart · 05-09-2011, 05:35 PM

@ Brister- Thank you so much for such detailed help!! I have printed out your response so I can refer to it!

05-08-2011, 07:57 PM	#33
kkephart Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Murrells Inlet, SC Posts: 188	Sorry ... just trying to catch up... I'm actually honored that Steve gave me some advice... and I will take note of that I love the advice he gives others @Megansmom- I always love your advice to others and I have ordered Oliver some belly bands... thanks so much for taking the time to help! __________________ Karla & Oliver RIP & Henry

05-08-2011, 08:03 PM	#34
kkephart Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Murrells Inlet, SC Posts: 188	Thanks Gigit... I will try that... or have him try it. So here is the question... next weekend I am supposed to go to his house... Do I bring Oliver??? I thing I Have to... if I am going to pursue this relationship then Oliver is the core of that for me. Call me silly... but I am 34 with no kids and Oliver is my child... I would like to see how he reacts when on another turf... thoughts... __________________ Karla & Oliver RIP & Henry

05-09-2011, 06:05 AM	#36
Britster Action Jackson ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 17,815	If you are going to try and make this work.... it's going to take time and patience and the BF is going to have to understand that. What is Oliver's favorite food? I would get his highest form of reward, such as plain chicken breast, cheese, etc. You should have his favorite food or treat come out ONLY when he is around the boyfriend. He will then associate the BF with the good food. Don't have the BF just walk straight up to him and try to put food in his face... slowly have him drop a trail of food behind him as he walks so that Oliver may follow. I would tell the BF not to try and pet him for a while (a few weeks)... build up that trust and communication first and take things slow. Then maybe boyfriend can sit on the ground at his level and drop the food, slowly getting it closer and closer to the BF but still not petting him. It's going to take time but I think you can do it! Actually clicker training is really good for shy or reserved dogs because it's totally hands-off, I bet if you give it a shot, it will be fun! Jackson was pretty shy with strange people but in the last year, his confidence has gone WAY up! He now willingly goes up to strangers and accepts being pet and seems to enjoy it.... when he is doing his tricks, his confidence is through the roof. He just eats it up! I enjoy trick training so he does a ton of tricks and he loves the attention he gets from people when doing them! So the clicker training really helped his confidence, our agility class also helped a ton. Any kind of training you guys can do with him will help him out a lot. I pretty much always have treats on me when we are out in public so if a person presents themselves to us I can turn into a somewhat training session. If someone wants to pet him, I'd ask them to give him a treat first and then pet him under his chin... so he learned that strangers = not bad! __________________ ~ Brit & Lights! Camera! Jackson! CGC ETD TKP ~ Follow Jackson on Instagram: https://instagram.com/jacksontheterrier Last edited by Britster; 05-09-2011 at 06:09 AM.

05-09-2011, 10:49 AM	#37
Sunnie Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: So. California Posts: 4,057	I hope I didn't make you feel like I was blaming it all on you. My whole point was that you ALL need to work together and I thinkl I was reacting to everyone saying dump the BF when none of us really know if he intentionally did anything wrong. Ir really needs to be a joint effort. __________________ Sonya, Owned by Ladybug, Tilly, Sunshine, Beamer, Rainbow, Sonny and Righteous RIP Sunnie (11/12/2003-7/31/2009)

05-09-2011, 05:31 PM	#39
kkephart Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Murrells Inlet, SC Posts: 188	@ Sunnie- I took no offense at all.. I appreciate your response! I was wanting advice and thats what I got. I do agree it will take a joint effort wether I stay in this relationship or not. @ Buster Brown- thanks for your response.. yes Oliver started the growling and barking at Amy... thats what I had stated in my original post. You are right... Oliver is my baby so I'm responsible for training him. As I have learned from other posts.. its also my responsibility to train other people how to handle him. I'm looking into trainers now. __________________ Karla & Oliver RIP & Henry

05-08-2011, 07:47 PM	#31
gidget529 Gidget & Sidney's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA Posts: 3,462	I agree w you, poor little Oliver was probably abused by a man. It's probably going to take time for him to trust a man again. David's just going to have to show his fatherly side (I'm sure he would want you to think he would be a good father in the future, it's a selling point) and show patience and love to this hurt little soul. It's like adopting a child who has been abused, it takes time to heal those wounds. It sounds like Oliver's mommy understands and is just the kind soul to show him love and help heal his wounds.

05-08-2011, 07:50 PM	#32
gidget529 Gidget & Sidney's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA Posts: 3,462	Actually, I just remembered (sorry, middle age), I knew someone who came out of an abusive marriage and her dog watched the abuse and did not like men afterwards. When she got a serious boyfriend, the dog used to growl at him when he walked toward the dog. A trainer told her to have the bf walk backwards towards the dog - it's less threatening to the animal. Eventually that method worked, and the dog got over his fear of her bf (and eventually he could walk towards the dog facing it).

05-08-2011, 08:20 PM	#35
gidget529 Gidget & Sidney's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA Posts: 3,462	I see what you're thinking.. maybe he'd be less defensive if he didn't feel his home was threatened. I am not sure. I am wondering if maybe starting another thread asking for help from the ppl w rescue/training experience to give you some opinions on how to work with little Oliver to help him over this hump. There are experienced rescue ppl on the site who have experience helping poor little souls heal.

05-09-2011, 05:35 PM	#40
kkephart Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Murrells Inlet, SC Posts: 188	@ Brister- Thank you so much for such detailed help!! I have printed out your response so I can refer to it! __________________ Karla & Oliver RIP & Henry