My Dilemna - YorkieTalk.com Forums

ChewyGeorgia85 · 05-02-2011, 11:43 AM

I've been in a little bit of a dilemna. 3 weeks ago today, my sweet Georgia passed away suddenly.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/mem...-girl-rip.html

about a week later when my husband picked up her ashes, he asked to speak to the vet to see if she found out what exactly happened. The vet was out at the time and called him the next day.

She said that she didn't do an autopsy because I told her not to.... I don't remember this conversation at all. I guess they would do an autopsy automatically, plus I was in such a huge shock (so I'm kind of cranky with them about that

)... anyway, she said there were a couple of ways that indicated the renal failure. They guessed that she may have had a clot close to her heart that burst Sunday night which was why she passed so quickly... that basically her heart went into cardiac arrest. They thought of that because she perked up when they warmed her up with the blankets, that it had gotten her blood moving better. But I guess we will never really know what really happened. Calvin, my husband, thought initially that something burst in her gut, which would cause the blood coming out of her rear end and caused her to bleed out.

The vet said that this shouldn't have been because of her litter that she had March 5th. I could figure she was stressed, but she never showed signs of stress until Sunday night, by the fact that she was lethargic.

Anyway, this was not my dilemna... Initially my husband and I were going to keep a puppy, but as the days passed, he thought about it and he's not really sure if we should keep one. And his points make sense as to why we don't really need one...We have Chewy, and a goffin's cockatoo named Fred that we can devote more time to. Having just one dog may be easier to travel, and he doesn't think it would be right to keep one if it feels like we replace Georgia. I can see his point, I don't want to replace her, she was my baby.

But my heart says that I need to keep one, I saw a grieving counselor and she said that it doesn't look like I want to replace Georgia... I NEVER could replace her. I know that these puppies and the smallest girl in particular has stolen my heart. After arguing with the husband, I finally was able to articulate that the smallest girl and I have this bond. I told him that yes, all the puppies are wonderful and special but this little girl for some reason grabs me. I am attached to her and I find her following me around more than the others. She likes to sit in my lap and it just feels right.

I guess I wanted to express my problem at the moment, no one but us can ultimately decide whether or not we are going to keep one, we don't absolutely need another animal, but this attraction to that one puppy has my heart and I don't think I can let go.
They turn 9 weeks this Saturday and will put them in ads and such next week. If they didn't seem ready to go, we'd hold them longer, but they are all playing, eating solid food (for a week now), sleeping, pooping

, so I think it's time to let them brighten other's days.

thanks for reading to me blabber on. I thought you all would understand me at this moment.

Presto · 05-02-2011, 11:52 AM

Can i say i was in tears after reading this post

Good luck to you! and yes you should keep the little girl

I know nothing can replace Georgia but atleast that way you will always have a part of her with you!! Sending you lots of good wishes and hugs!!

kjc · 05-02-2011, 11:55 AM

Aw, that's sad. No, one can never replace a beloved pet, their personalities are too different, and always leads to disappointment. You wouldn't be replacing, you would be adding a new family member, one that has blood ties to the one lost.

Maybe agree to sell that one last, if it still seems the best option not to keep her. But do be sure before you decide to sell her, or hold on to her and sell her as an older pup if things don't work out the way you would like. You have time, no need to make a decision right away...

gidget529 · 05-02-2011, 11:57 AM

I just lost my little Cricket in Nov. I understand how you feel. I don't know your husband's reasons for not wanting to keep one; however, I know there is a hole in your soul that just aches for a little one to hold and connect with, plus it is a piece of Georgia. My grief and pain did not start to diminish until I had another little girl in my arms. I think it's a mother's ache...maybe the guys can't understand so much.

I would try to explain it to him. I actually became physically ill after Cricket passed. Now my husband attributed it to the fact that I have no two-legged children and cannot, but it sounds like you are feeling that mommy ache for your child, Georgia. Maybe if he could read some of our posts and understand how mommies constantly ache for that lost child he would better understand.

KazzyK810 · 05-02-2011, 12:16 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about Georgia.

No one can tell you what to do or what is best for your family. Only you know this and hopefully have a little while to think on it.

When my Chelsea passed, I new it was coming someday due to her CT, but wasn't prepared for how quickly she went downhill. I loved her more than I thought was possible to love a dog. No other dog could ever compare. I wouldn't even consider getting another at the time because nothing could replace Chelsea and I was convinced I'd never love another pup like I did her.

I went 3 years without a yorkie, until both my kids, away at college, thought I needed company and bought me ZoE. I don't know what I was thinking waiting so long. I love having ZoE. I still think of Chelsea often. I had many years with her and have many memories that are often triggered by things I read here on YT. She'll always be in my heart, and now, so is ZoE

Rhetts_mama · 05-02-2011, 01:11 PM

If your heart says you need to keep one, then keep one. You won't regret doing it, but you might regret losing your chance to have a piece of Georgia with you if you don't.

One other thing you might want to consider is keeping all the pups a little bit while longer. Although they are eating and playing well, they are still learning a lot from each other at this stage and they need to be with other pups/dogs in order to learn those social skills.

horsnaround · 05-02-2011, 01:21 PM

Keep her when I lost my first yorkie I went two years before I got another (and now have three). I wish I had gotten one right away. I replaced my yorkie with a cairn which is a great dog. But not a yorkie. There is just something about them that melts your heart. And you will feel lost if you let her go. Good luck with the hubby.

Lil Sis · 05-02-2011, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhetts_mama

If your heart says you need to keep one, then keep one. You won't regret doing it, but you might regret losing your chance to have a piece of Georgia with you if you don't.

One other thing you might want to consider is keeping all the pups a little bit while longer. Although they are eating and playing well, they are still learning a lot from each other at this stage and they need to be with other pups/dogs in order to learn those social skills.

I agree...

if your heart says keep her... keep her.

Also, many breeders think you should keep the puppies to at least 12 weeks, so that will give you some time.

I wish you luck

moshes_human · 05-02-2011, 03:01 PM

I'm totally in tears

Sometimes we just know what we need. If you feel a bond with this little girl then keep her. Just explain to him that you can't explain but you know in your heart it's the right thing to do.

My Husband and I have this sort of relationship.

He digs his heels in but when he knows I am truly serious and I will not be swayed and my heart is leading me ,not my emotions (and it has only happened twice in our marriage, and it wasn't pet related) he lets go of the control.

Grieving is a process. Only time will heal you.

Your post really got to my heart and I wish you the very best.

~Hugs~

yorkietalkjilly · 05-02-2011, 03:31 PM

Sounds like you two really have a bond and the two of you might need each other in several ways. I know what it is like to have the bond develop between you and a dog and it is nothing you can describe and it defies practical considerations. If possible, it would be lovely if you can keep her, your sweet girl's girl. It would likely help you get through some of your grief - having this little puppy to have such fun with. But if not, you will find a way to go on with Chewy and Fred, missing her but that will lessen over time. Sometimes things can't work out like we'd best like and it can really hurt but you do find a way forward. Not always as fun, though.

EsmeeKimme · 05-02-2011, 03:46 PM

Keep her. I understand what he is saying about easier to travel with just the one dog and all of that but when you have that connection with a dog it is just unexplainable.

Sounds like she is choosing you and you her, I would just sit down and calmly explain to him how you feel and why you know this is right. Good luck to you.

Taryn0405 · 05-02-2011, 07:37 PM

Aww Georgia girl!

I agree with the posts. I think you need to keep her. Your not replacing Georgia, but instead allowing her legacy to continue on through the little puppy you have the connection with. I think there is a darn good reason that you have that connection with the little girl and I think you need to follow your heart on this one.
I think your husband is simply thinking about his emotions with regards to the new little girl. I think he may be feeling guilty about loving this little girl and wondering if she would be in fact "replacing" Georgia in his eyes. My husband did the same thing when he lost his beagle, basically tried to mirror his emotions back at me.

When you get a new puppy or dog, it doesn't replace any of the ones you lost. Instead it begins to heal that hole in your heart. And eventually, when you see your little one do something cute or naughty you and your husband will laugh and say "Aww, that makes me think of Georgia when she us to..." and it'll bring that smile to your face.

Good luck!
Follow your heart!
And keep us updated. We're thinking and praying for you!

Sandysbabies · 05-02-2011, 09:08 PM

I think its hard for men sometimes to understand us and our motherly feelings. I say keep her too. You will be so glad you did and I bet your dh will be glad too. Its hard for them too. I know my husband loves all our furbabies but he is espically bonded to Kayla. If anything ever happened to her I don't know what he would do. IMO, keep her, love her, and spoil the heck out of her.

MauiGirl · 05-02-2011, 10:53 PM

If I were you, I'd definitely keep the little girl, especially because she represents a part of Georgia. She has an extra special bond to you because of losing her mom.

Chewy will love having a playmate too, since he's been used to that.

lexi43 · 05-03-2011, 07:01 AM

Keep her !!!!!!!!!!! It's Georgia's way of leaving you somebody to love now that she can't be there for her.

05-02-2011, 11:43 AM	#1
ChewyGeorgia85 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Cheyenne, Wyoming, U.S. Posts: 153	My Dilemna I've been in a little bit of a dilemna. 3 weeks ago today, my sweet Georgia passed away suddenly. http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/mem...-girl-rip.html about a week later when my husband picked up her ashes, he asked to speak to the vet to see if she found out what exactly happened. The vet was out at the time and called him the next day. She said that she didn't do an autopsy because I told her not to.... I don't remember this conversation at all. I guess they would do an autopsy automatically, plus I was in such a huge shock (so I'm kind of cranky with them about that)... anyway, she said there were a couple of ways that indicated the renal failure. They guessed that she may have had a clot close to her heart that burst Sunday night which was why she passed so quickly... that basically her heart went into cardiac arrest. They thought of that because she perked up when they warmed her up with the blankets, that it had gotten her blood moving better. But I guess we will never really know what really happened. Calvin, my husband, thought initially that something burst in her gut, which would cause the blood coming out of her rear end and caused her to bleed out. The vet said that this shouldn't have been because of her litter that she had March 5th. I could figure she was stressed, but she never showed signs of stress until Sunday night, by the fact that she was lethargic. Anyway, this was not my dilemna... Initially my husband and I were going to keep a puppy, but as the days passed, he thought about it and he's not really sure if we should keep one. And his points make sense as to why we don't really need one...We have Chewy, and a goffin's cockatoo named Fred that we can devote more time to. Having just one dog may be easier to travel, and he doesn't think it would be right to keep one if it feels like we replace Georgia. I can see his point, I don't want to replace her, she was my baby. But my heart says that I need to keep one, I saw a grieving counselor and she said that it doesn't look like I want to replace Georgia... I NEVER could replace her. I know that these puppies and the smallest girl in particular has stolen my heart. After arguing with the husband, I finally was able to articulate that the smallest girl and I have this bond. I told him that yes, all the puppies are wonderful and special but this little girl for some reason grabs me. I am attached to her and I find her following me around more than the others. She likes to sit in my lap and it just feels right. I guess I wanted to express my problem at the moment, no one but us can ultimately decide whether or not we are going to keep one, we don't absolutely need another animal, but this attraction to that one puppy has my heart and I don't think I can let go. They turn 9 weeks this Saturday and will put them in ads and such next week. If they didn't seem ready to go, we'd hold them longer, but they are all playing, eating solid food (for a week now), sleeping, pooping , so I think it's time to let them brighten other's days. thanks for reading to me blabber on. I thought you all would understand me at this moment. __________________ *Jessica- Chewy's* Mommy Georgia Girl, you were the best mama ever, Rest in Peace. I will see you again someday. *November 2007- April 11th, 2011*

05-02-2011, 11:55 AM	#3
kjc I♥PeekTinkySaph&Finny Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Posts: 18,866	Aw, that's sad. No, one can never replace a beloved pet, their personalities are too different, and always leads to disappointment. You wouldn't be replacing, you would be adding a new family member, one that has blood ties to the one lost. Maybe agree to sell that one last, if it still seems the best option not to keep her. But do be sure before you decide to sell her, or hold on to her and sell her as an older pup if things don't work out the way you would like. You have time, no need to make a decision right away... __________________ Kat Chloe Lizzy PeekABooTinkerbell SapphireInfinity

05-02-2011, 12:16 PM	#5
KazzyK810 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Michigan USA & Sheffield UK Posts: 4,119	I'm so sorry to hear about Georgia. No one can tell you what to do or what is best for your family. Only you know this and hopefully have a little while to think on it. When my Chelsea passed, I new it was coming someday due to her CT, but wasn't prepared for how quickly she went downhill. I loved her more than I thought was possible to love a dog. No other dog could ever compare. I wouldn't even consider getting another at the time because nothing could replace Chelsea and I was convinced I'd never love another pup like I did her. I went 3 years without a yorkie, until both my kids, away at college, thought I needed company and bought me ZoE. I don't know what I was thinking waiting so long. I love having ZoE. I still think of Chelsea often. I had many years with her and have many memories that are often triggered by things I read here on YT. She'll always be in my heart, and now, so is ZoE __________________ Karan & ZoE (Chelsea )

05-02-2011, 01:11 PM	#6
Rhetts_mama Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 5,959 Blog Entries: 1	If your heart says you need to keep one, then keep one. You won't regret doing it, but you might regret losing your chance to have a piece of Georgia with you if you don't. One other thing you might want to consider is keeping all the pups a little bit while longer. Although they are eating and playing well, they are still learning a lot from each other at this stage and they need to be with other pups/dogs in order to learn those social skills. __________________ Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny.

05-02-2011, 01:21 PM	#7
horsnaround ♥Trained by my pups♥ Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: with my yorkies Posts: 11,721 Blog Entries: 1	Keep her when I lost my first yorkie I went two years before I got another (and now have three). I wish I had gotten one right away. I replaced my yorkie with a cairn which is a great dog. But not a yorkie. There is just something about them that melts your heart. And you will feel lost if you let her go. Good luck with the hubby. __________________ loving life with my furry friends

05-02-2011, 11:52 AM	#2
Presto Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Wilmington, MA Posts: 370	Can i say i was in tears after reading this post Good luck to you! and yes you should keep the little girl I know nothing can replace Georgia but atleast that way you will always have a part of her with you!! Sending you lots of good wishes and hugs!!

05-02-2011, 11:57 AM	#4
gidget529 Gidget & Sidney's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA Posts: 3,462	I just lost my little Cricket in Nov. I understand how you feel. I don't know your husband's reasons for not wanting to keep one; however, I know there is a hole in your soul that just aches for a little one to hold and connect with, plus it is a piece of Georgia. My grief and pain did not start to diminish until I had another little girl in my arms. I think it's a mother's ache...maybe the guys can't understand so much. I would try to explain it to him. I actually became physically ill after Cricket passed. Now my husband attributed it to the fact that I have no two-legged children and cannot, but it sounds like you are feeling that mommy ache for your child, Georgia. Maybe if he could read some of our posts and understand how mommies constantly ache for that lost child he would better understand.

05-02-2011, 03:01 PM	#9
moshes_human Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: North East, Ar. USA Posts: 150	I'm totally in tears Sometimes we just know what we need. If you feel a bond with this little girl then keep her. Just explain to him that you can't explain but you know in your heart it's the right thing to do. My Husband and I have this sort of relationship. He digs his heels in but when he knows I am truly serious and I will not be swayed and my heart is leading me ,not my emotions (and it has only happened twice in our marriage, and it wasn't pet related) he lets go of the control. Grieving is a process. Only time will heal you. Your post really got to my heart and I wish you the very best. ~Hugs~ __________________ All creatures great and small,All things wise and wonderful:The Lord God made them all.

05-02-2011, 03:31 PM	#10
yorkietalkjilly ♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas Posts: 22,140	Sounds like you two really have a bond and the two of you might need each other in several ways. I know what it is like to have the bond develop between you and a dog and it is nothing you can describe and it defies practical considerations. If possible, it would be lovely if you can keep her, your sweet girl's girl. It would likely help you get through some of your grief - having this little puppy to have such fun with. But if not, you will find a way to go on with Chewy and Fred, missing her but that will lessen over time. Sometimes things can't work out like we'd best like and it can really hurt but you do find a way forward. Not always as fun, though. __________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis

05-02-2011, 03:46 PM	#11
EsmeeKimme Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Rocky Mount, VA Posts: 229	Keep her. I understand what he is saying about easier to travel with just the one dog and all of that but when you have that connection with a dog it is just unexplainable. Sounds like she is choosing you and you her, I would just sit down and calmly explain to him how you feel and why you know this is right. Good luck to you. __________________ Mommy to 3 human kids, 1 hedgehog, 1 spoiled cat and Riley

05-02-2011, 07:37 PM	#12
Taryn0405 Owned by a Gremlin Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: The Mitten State! Posts: 3,706	Aww Georgia girl! I agree with the posts. I think you need to keep her. Your not replacing Georgia, but instead allowing her legacy to continue on through the little puppy you have the connection with. I think there is a darn good reason that you have that connection with the little girl and I think you need to follow your heart on this one. I think your husband is simply thinking about his emotions with regards to the new little girl. I think he may be feeling guilty about loving this little girl and wondering if she would be in fact "replacing" Georgia in his eyes. My husband did the same thing when he lost his beagle, basically tried to mirror his emotions back at me. When you get a new puppy or dog, it doesn't replace any of the ones you lost. Instead it begins to heal that hole in your heart. And eventually, when you see your little one do something cute or naughty you and your husband will laugh and say "Aww, that makes me think of Georgia when she us to..." and it'll bring that smile to your face. Good luck! Follow your heart! And keep us updated. We're thinking and praying for you! __________________ Taryn Momma to Gizmo AKA Monkeyman My husband, daughter, son, and dog make me who I am "My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am."

05-02-2011, 09:08 PM	#13
Sandysbabies YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 2,234	I think its hard for men sometimes to understand us and our motherly feelings. I say keep her too. You will be so glad you did and I bet your dh will be glad too. Its hard for them too. I know my husband loves all our furbabies but he is espically bonded to Kayla. If anything ever happened to her I don't know what he would do. IMO, keep her, love her, and spoil the heck out of her.

05-02-2011, 10:53 PM	#14
MauiGirl Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Maui, Hawaii Posts: 7,740	If I were you, I'd definitely keep the little girl, especially because she represents a part of Georgia. She has an extra special bond to you because of losing her mom. Chewy will love having a playmate too, since he's been used to that. __________________ SANDY, MOM TO TIKI , KAYLA , KARLEE , R.I.P. MEIKA

05-03-2011, 07:01 AM	#15
lexi43 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Deer Park New York Posts: 1,586	Keep her !!!!!!!!!!! It's Georgia's way of leaving you somebody to love now that she can't be there for her.