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09-06-2010, 09:53 AM | #1 |
BANNED! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: north florida
Posts: 139
| A must read for Dog and Cat Lovers > *FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.* > > *FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.* > > The following was found posted *very low* on a refrigerator door. > > Dear Dogs and Cats: > > The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. > > The other dishes are mine and contain my food.. Placing a paw print in the > middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food > and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. > > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to > the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster > than you can run. > > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about > this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your > comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they > sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched > out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight > out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is > nothing but sarcasm.. > > For the last time, *there is no secret exit from the bathroom! *If, by some > miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not > necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under > the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I > entered. > > Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is > not required. > > The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog > or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. > > Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the > front door:* > * > > TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: > > (1) They live here. You don't. > (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. > That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. > (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. > (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are > short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. > > Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: > > (1) eat less, > (2) don't ask for money all the time, > (3) are easier to train, > (4) normally come when called, > (5) never ask to drive the car, > (6) don't smoke or drink, > (7) don't want to wear your clothes, > (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, > (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and > (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children |
Welcome Guest! | |
09-06-2010, 10:11 AM | #2 |
threadkillin' 6 pack Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: USA
Posts: 1,242
| Ain't that the truth...
__________________ lorelei, wife to gerry , momma to bear , baxter ,baby and bug |
09-06-2010, 10:30 AM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oregon
Posts: 147
| That was really cute! And so true!
__________________ Christine & Jasper |
09-06-2010, 11:21 AM | #5 |
YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: New york
Posts: 258
| Lmao! This is the most truthful thing I've read in all my life! I tell my cat all the time that racing me or trying to trip me down the stairs is not going to help u get ur food faster! She clearly wasn't listening because she has made me tumble down the stairs a few times. I'm lucky that I still have a brain in my skull!! Lol. |
09-06-2010, 04:56 PM | #6 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 537
| I love it! So true and entertaining. Bravo!
__________________ "It is much easier to show compassion to animals. They are never wicked." ~Haile Selassie |
09-06-2010, 06:18 PM | #7 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 5,748
| hahahaahah perfect!! |
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