I am soooo lost on what to do..please help!!
 

I need some strong advice on this because I am grieving over this so badly! I wrote an earlier post a day or 2 ago (I am lost on days) about how I had to part with one of my yorkies due to her health, all the vet visits, about 700.00 left in cash and no job. The only income I have is 228.00 (yeah!) a week in unemployment to try and pay all of my bills with. I have 2 other dogs. A shih tzu that's going on 10 and another yorkie that's going on 15. None of them are in good health and it's been a tough hill to climb. I felt as tho it was the best thing that I could do at the time. Right now, she's been gone since Saturday. So, 4 days and 5 nights. I am hurting over my decision so badly that I can't even think straight. I miss her and the pain it has left me in seems more than I can bear! She is in my mind every second of every day. I've attempted, but not followed thru with just going to get her since Saturday night. I kept telling myself that she was with someone that had the means to take care of her whereas I can't right now. I know I wont be in this shape forever....(till Spring, at the latest) and the thought of going back to work knowing she was one of the reasons I worked, and she's not with me to spoil will crush my SOUL worse than it is right now!!! On the flip side, I do have the other 2 that need healthcare, (the shih tzu needs shots) and so does the other yorkie and she also needs to get her cough checked. These costs don't add up to a lot, I know, and I can afford that much right now. But if there is a health crisis with one of them, I'm screwed.
If any of you were in my shoes, God forbid! And you made this decision and realized AFTER the fact that you wanted them back because you couldn't bear to be without them, would you go and get them? I am so distraught on what I should and shouldn't do here. I feel as though I have had my own child ripped from me!!!!!!!! I did this initially because of an on going health problem she kept having. She's going on 13 yo and has had numerous problems with UTI's and bladder infections. She also has a fatty cyst hanging off of her neck that I could never afford to have removed and another cyst on her shoulder that from what I understand needs to come off. I had both of the cysts looked at from my vet and he said neither were a cause for alarm unless one of them changed. For cosmetic purposes they need to be removed. The lady that took her, took her to the vet yesterday and Savannah has another bladder infection. She said she spent 167.00 on her tests and the office visit. She is also suppose to take her to get her teeth cleaned and have the cysts removed mid January. Yeah, I can't do that for her right away whereas she can. I have no answers for what happens down the road or what financial shape I will be in. All I do know is that I miss her. Any suggestions? I trust you all to give me the best advice!

I can't imagine what your going through and I know it must be hard for you and I am very sorry. I know it must be tough but you did do the right thing to let someone take care of her needs. I am not saying that taking her back would be a bad thing either but at least you know she is in a good financial situation.
Maybe make play dates with her and your other dogs. You can always still be part of her life it will just be harder but it is all worth it in the end. I wish you the best of luck and I am sorry if my post did not help you.

goodluck with love from Bailey and Lysiane

You did the right thing. So many dogs around here are just being let out the door because there's no money left to even feed them. If she has someone with the means to take on her vet bills then you did the right thing for her. Don't grieve, be happy for her.

Yes, I just can't seem to make peace with what I have done here. I feel as tho it was too drastic and hasty decision that I made at a very low point. I was frustrated at the time and I knew she wasn't healthy. I had the money to take her back to the vet and still do but this makes the 4th time she's had this, well, 2 UTI's and 2 bladder infections and none of what I ever did seemed to help. Call it a bad vet choice I made or an ongoing issue. Either way, she also developed a cough that progressively got worse. Of course when I took her to the vet over the bladder issue and brought up the cough, she wouldn't cough so that he could determine what it was. I feel deep in my soul that she is better where she is because she is getting what she needs. But you always have to wonder if they're still waiting for you to come back for them..It kills my soul! And what do you do when you have other pets that are grieving? My shih tzu has been moping around the house. She just lays in the kennel that she used to take naps with Savannah in. She's been throwing up and has had the 'trots' for 2 days now. It's hard to determine if she just feels under the weather or if she IS mourning for her return. I just know that if I keep putting off getting her, this lady is going to be firm about keeping her. I just need a direction.

I have NEVER and could never do that to an animal. I have done without for the sake of my pets. As I should have. I wanted them and they can't take care of themselves! To think that I would put one out the door because I could no longer feed it is beyond my comprehension. The cost of food has never been a question. They've always had more than enough of that. This is solely about healthcare and the fact it's hard for me now. I just don't want this decision to haunt me for the rest of my life. I wont always be in this shape. I may find a job next week. I'm trying to think of that as well. Then when I can take care of her, she wont be with me.

You must do the unselfish thing and think of your dogs first. Take care of the ones you have and feel good that you did what you needed to do.

It must be terribley difficult, but be happy that you found someone that could afford to take care of her. not many people would want to take on a dog with health issues.

Didn't you mention in the other post that your vet suspected Savannah had diabetes? Was she tested by her new vet?

Speaking from firsthand experience, diabetes can be a very expensive disease. Insulin, syringes, and bloodwork in the beginning are expensive enough, but it's the side effects of the disease that make it so expensive. Just like human diabetics, diabetic dogs get constant UTI's and respiratory infections because of their weakened immune systems. Eye problems are also common. Lady will be in her eighth year with diabetes next month and it costs me about $5,000 a year for insulin, syringes, eye medications and antibiotics. I test her blood sugar myself at home and strips are expensive. That doesn't count unexpected vet visits for infections. Lady had an eye infection this summer that cost $1,000. She sees an ophthalmologist twice a year.

Senior dogs develop health issues. One can be costly enough, but three can be very difficult to care for properly. It sounds like Savannah has found a wonderful new home where she will get the care she needs. Now you can concentrate on getting the other two the care they need.

Yes, my vet tested her for diabetes 6 weeks ago and nothing showed up then. This lady had her tested and nothing showed up. It's obviously a problem she's having with her bladder due to the innie vulva that she has. I don't know, to me these are not reasons to go thru what I'm having to go thru and what she must be going thru. She's 13 and we're all she's ever known. I know money is tight for me, but are her health issues enough that you would part with one of yours??? That's all I'm asking. As it stands right now, I parted with her over 167.00. She is worth more than that to me and my family.

I know how much pain you must be in. I am grieving a loss in a way. My yorkie went missing over 5 weeks ago. We can never truly understand until we are in each other's shoes. What I can tell you is maybe in a few months you will find a job and be able to make a payment plan with this lady to get your dog back and pay her back what she has spent. One thing I must tell you is that doing the right thing can be the toughest thing you've ever done.
You did the RIGHT thing trust me. Do NOT feel guilty , Do NOT feel that you abondoned your furbaby. I do not know at this moment how my yorkie is being treated, I dont know if he is eating enough, if he is symptomatic of his MVD, if he is being neglected in anyway, if he is losing weight and is frightened. I dont know 100% if he is still alive. But I pray and have hope.
I dont know anything. Please try and take comfort that you know where your yorkie is, she is getting the medical attention she needs and is being loved. I know you miss her. But you do know where she is and that this person has taken her in to help her. Pray to God and give thanks for this.
Even if you feel like you cant think straight, cant sleep, cant eat, cant stop thinking of her have peace in knowing she is ok.
I dont mean to sound harsh in anyway. My heart is broken and maybe it might help telling you about my situation. I have cried all the time over this and got to the point that I needed to take a sedative to sleep everynight.
Today I just got in my car and drove 5 mph with my windows rolled down with a sound amplifier headphone set...hoping that I would hear my yorkie bark somewhere. The weather is nice here and most homes have their windows opened so I figured to take a drive and look again....
This is a never ending thing for me because I dont know anything.

I'll have you in my prayers and I hope you see that you did the absolute very best thing for your baby..

(((hugs)))
Gen

Wow my heart breaks for you to think about the pain you must be in to have to part with your dog after all these years. But what you did was give her a gift of wellness and care and for that you should be thankful. As another poster pointed out, some people are forced to leave their animals behind due to financial hardship and some end up with a fate that is much worse. If you had continued to keep her, you might have been in a position of neglecting her medical needs and then would undoubtedly feel much worse than you do right now. You have to do what is right for the dog, and although your situation sounds like it might improve down the road, you unfortunately don't know WHEN that might be.

You asked for "strong advice" so here is mine. Heal your heart and rest your mind - but let the dog have a chance at health and wellness and leave her with the lady who can meet her needs. You have to take care of the other two and focus on getting yourself back on track.

Best wishes.

But didn't you say that next month she is getting her teeth cleaned and her cysts removed?

As hard as it is for you to accept, her new owner is able to give her the veterinary care you are not. Be glad Savannah has found such a loving new home and concentrate on getting care for your other two.

Your Yorkie with the cough really needs to see a vet. In a senior, a cough can indicate heart problems so it may not be the "simple" fix you think it is.

You are all correct and have have made valid points. I also understand and appreciate what you all are saying. My animals are everything to me. And I love them all more than my own life. I am in a process of grieving which as everyone knows, goes in stages. This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have EVER had to do and I am 46 yo. As anyone can agree, this particular situation I am in and what I did because of it would make anyone feel like a failure. How could it not??? I keep thinking that when I took her over there that morning, she knew she had done nothing wrong and yet I left her there. How is she suppose to feel now? Not to mention, I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to her. The lady scuttled her off into another room as I left. I really had no idea at the time that she was going to keep her. For 2 days it was up in the air. She wanted to see if they formed any kind of bond, and I've asked her everytime I've talked to her if Savannah is even bonding with her and she just says that she will go over to her and just look at her. Then I found out last night that her sister went to Wisconsin and picked up another yorkie for her. An 8 yo female. So as I think that Vanna is of the temperament to adjust better when it's just her, she brought another one in. She loved the ones that were here because they all grew up together. She was never fond of other dogs coming around. So all of these things have bothered me. That, in addition to the fact that I, as Savannah's rightful owner wanted to see for myself how she and this lady were with each other, as anyone would, and she told me it was best not to come around for a while. So, yeah, a lot of unanswered questions that I need an answer to. Maybe I am just trying to look for more reasons as to why I feel the need to get her, I'm not sure. I am so unsettled by all of this and I dont know if it's because it's a sign telling me I need to get her. Or if it's my heart reacting to the situation. It's hard to tell when you're dealing with this.

My heart aches for you, but rejoices for your Savannah, who is now receiving all the medical attention she deserves. I can't imagine the numerous emotions you are going thru. I don't think anyone has the "right" words or the comforting words that would make your situation any easier, I wish I did. I did have a thought, have you considered talking with lady about your situation and how you're feeling. Would it be possible to make an agreement that she will temporarily provide basic and medical care as needed, for a specified time, and during that time you agree to repay a portion of the expensives. If at the end of that specified time, you're still unable to provide the basic and medical care Savannah needs, you then surrender her permanently, which will still be heart breaking, but I think it "buys" you some time to possibly find another job, as well as knowing that Savannah is still receiving proper care. Just a thought. . .

I can imagine the pain you are going through and I don't think anyone can tell you what is right or wrong. I would go with your heart and if you have any relatives or friends that can help you until you get on your feet, if not it is really a tough call as to what the future medical bills will be. I will keep you in my prayers for strength to make the right decision.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

And I really think by reading all your responses that you want to go and get her back. At 13 she is not a young dog and you are her family.

How did you meet this lady that has your baby now? Have you spoken to the vet that she took her to? I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please, know that we're here for you no matter what decission you make.

Gen, thank you and I have read your posts and wondered how you were able to deal with such a thing. I would have already driven myself mad over that.
My heart goes out to you, that has to be such an unsettling feeling. You are right, at least I know where Savannah is and that's more comfort that you're feeling. A person always feels that their problems and feelings are sooo horrible until they hear someone else's. I can't imagine, nor would I want to imagine how you must feel. It broke my heart when I read your story and it still saddens me. I cannot compare the hurt to yours. I would be devastated as I'm sure you are.
Thank you for taking the time to help me, given the circumstances that you are under. That means more to me than you'll ever know. I know that everyone that's trying to help me here are right, including you. I took all the things you all have said in consideration when I made my decision to find her a new home. I just need to keep those reasons fresh in my mind and stop being selfish. I was commended the other night on here for my selflessness and turn around wanting to unwind the whole thing because I was being selfish! I know I am not what she needs right now and right now is what counts. I've put off so much health care for all of my little ones because of my lack of money, only taking care of what needed to be addressed then. In doing that, they are all in so much of a need that it became overwhelming to me. It's harder when you know you failed them. But I don't have to fail her anymore. As hurtful as that was to type. In reality and my given situation, I really don't need any of my babies for the same reason, but I can't bear to lose anymore. My best to you Gen and I hope and pray for a miracle for you. You need her as much as she needs you and I hope that happens for you both. God Bless!

What a tough decision to make! I think that you're a strong person for putting her needs before yours. I couldn't give one of mine up for anything, but maybe that's selfish of me. Only you can decide what is best for you and your furbabies. Good Luck!

I say go get your baby! There is no way I could go one day without one of my 4 babies! You can find a way to make it until spring. Just my 2 cents...

I LOVE YOU!!!! A woman after my own heart!!!!:D

Any idea, hypothetically, in case that is where my heart takes me, that she would have a right to her? To not, by law, be able to keep her if I pay her what she's out in the medical?

This lady rescues mainly yorkies. She never buys one, she takes the ones that are no longer wanted or the ones that need homes. I had spoken with a lady at the local animal shelter for info on homes that would accept a yorkie at her age. She told me Savannah's picture would go out on their website and any prospective people interested in her would give me a call. This lady's background was checked, as well as her home as a suitable candidate for adopter's. I do know the vet she took her to. Savannah has been to her before in the past. She is the best vet in that area. I DO want to get her back. I really, really do. I'm just trying my very best to determine what is best for all. I'm NOT going to get past what I've done, and I know that. I don't have the heart that will let me forgive or forget what I've done. If a member of my family had her, it would be fine with me. But knowing she's with someone that i really don't know any better than the lady I met at the store today....'that' bothers me. And it also bothers me that once she had her, the 'few day trial' 'to see how things go' let her to tell me on Sunday what SHE thought was best for my dog, basically telling me I no longer had a choice since she made HER decision to keep her. When I wanted to go and see things for myself, I was denied and told to come and see her in a month. Those things bother me. Especially since she was still MY dog at that point. Don't I, as her owner, have the right to determine for myself who I think would make a good owner for my dog? I feel like I've been bullied and maybe that's why I feel as tho I have no closure or peace.

I would assume she has a right to the dog since you agreed for the lady to take her BUT if you have her phone number, I would call her first thing in the AM and tell her how you are feeling and BEG her to give the dog back. I am sure if she agrees, she would want the money back upon pick up.

I want to tell you a story... When I become pregnant with my 3rd child, my husband left me and moved 10 hours away. I was a single mother and financially I could not afford a 3rd child all alone. I found out after he left. When I told my mother about the pregnancy while crying my eyes out. She said "Lori, we will find a way of making it!" I feel the same way about my furbabies as well... No matter what, "We will find a way of making it"! Good luck and let me know what happens... God bless you and your babies

Try to get past your emotions and ask yourself "what if".

What if you come up with the $167 and go get Savannah back? Will you be able to get her teeth cleaned and her cysts removed next month? What if she gets another bladder infection? What will you do about your Yorkie with the cough? Can you take him to the vet if you take Savannah back?

I am certain that Savannah's new owner told you not to come visit right away because that was best for Savannah. She needs time to adjust and seeing you would make it that much more difficult for her. It sounds like this woman is trying to very hard to do what is best for Savannah. I think you were lucky to find her. It's not that easy to find someone willing to adopt a senior.

I'd suggest you write down all the reasons you gave her up and reread them when you get upset and question your decision.

I think that she might work with you to make arrangements until you get back on your feet. If she does this for so many yorkies , she is doing this for the love of these animals and I'm sure the last thing she wants to do is rip her away from you. But saving her life is the priority here.
You are not being selfish because you miss her so much. This is just what your heart feels. Just like a mother would feel for her kids...these are also our kids. Concentrate on her getting better and let this be motivation for you.
There are so many people going through this and I've heard this stuff happening a lot , people moving out of their homes to an apartment that doesnt allow pets :( I know there are a few orginizations that help owners not lose their pets and do fostering until these people get back on their feet.
I saw that in the news recently. I should have written it down! I'm sure its on Google somewhere.

Try to get some rest.Give your furbabies a kiss. Easier said than done I know...


Gen

If I sent you the $167 could you go get her? My heart just breaks for both of you. I hope I can help.
Ginger

This is so touching! Sometimes the people on this forum absolutely amaze me. What a beautiful gesture to make during the holidays.

I hope that the OP gets her furbaby back. Please keep us updated.

WOW!! Your a special person with a huge giving heart :hug:

I would also though think about down the road when she will need much more medication or vet visits, what will you do :( ? Sometimes the hardest choices in life are the right ones :( I know your heart is breaking, but if you can't afford to get medical care down the road , would it break more?

Hope you do what is best.
Sending love and prayers .. :hug:

See you do want her back. Did you sign anything with this lady giving her rights to your dog?

So this lady isn't the new owner, but a foster type of home. I'm sorry, but I do agree with others that she's just looking out for the dog and trying to get the dog to adjust. Sweetie, try putting yourself in your dog's shoes (so to speak). First, you go from your family that you've lived with your whole life and you're to live with some stranger, then your momma comes to visit only you don't know what it means to visit, you think your going home, but then momma leaves and your still with this stranger. Dogs don't understand what's going on. SO I understand the foster not wanting visits right now. If you do go I hope you bring your baby home for her sake, if she isn't coming home with you then I say don't visit. Sorry, I know you may not want to hear that but you need to think of your little one. It's your decision to make no one else's. I recommend that you decide soon, as it's not fair to your dog or the foster who's caring for her. I hope and pray for the best to you all. ((((Hugs))))

It sounds like your little Yorkie could be fine either way. She probably will adjust and form a bond with her new family. I saw on Dog Whisperer (no flames please) that it is mostly a myth that a dog will grieve for a long period over it's owner. That dogs in the wild have to occasionally leave and form new packs. They leave one pack and join another and they adjust to their new pack. I believe that's why the lady that has her is giving her some time to bond. AND she is taking care of her physical needs, which is also important.

On the other hand, if your finances are about to improve, then I believe your little girl would be equally fine with you.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing.

When my son was born, I was working full time and a single mother. I had an elderly maltese that basically got left behind for a few years. I didn't have his teeth cleaned, etc. Though it didn't enter my mind at the time, I wonder, would he have been better off with someone new that had the TIME and the MONEY that I did not have during those years? Much as I hate to admit it - maybe he would have. Selfishly, I would not let him go but. . . I wonder. His last years with me were not great for either of us despite the bond we had previously formed.

Whatever decsion you make will be the right one. Either way, I believe that your little girl will be in good hands.

You are second guessing yourself now - which I understand. Think it over for a couple of more days and see how you feel.

I hope you find peace with whatever you decide.:aimeeyork

Lori,
I can understand how hard it is to keep up with three elderly dogs with declining health needs each month , and not financially able to.
I have 2 , 0ne is a shih tzu and the other is a yorkie. I am a single parent, on a fixed income.
My 2 girls both need to be spayed. Their are now been behaviorial issues of aggression between them . The yorkie needs to be updated on her shots too.
I just got out of the hospital too. Stayed in the hospital over a month , recovering at home now , and not 100% well physically either .
My 2 dogs , what happened ? the yorkie has turned into Cujo since I have been gone. Attacking the younger shih tzu , and scaring me to death. My health brings me in no condition to break up a dog fight all the time.
my yorkie was given a bath while I was ill .Now she is matted. I can't clip her until I have full use of my arms . I am so upset .
My beautifil 2 dogs had changed , and I feel helpless. I feel I have to protect the younger more vulnerable dog from serious injury . She is 8 months old, the yorkie not even 2 yrs old .
We have completely kept the a part from each other. I have vowed to do everything in my power to get this turned around .
I feel a deep commitment towards my 2 girls, and a helpless feeling too , because I am not 100% able to deal with their issues.
You love all 3 of your animals , it is aparent . I would allow the yorkie rescue lady to help you, and make financial arrangements to pay her back .
I believe our dogs do become very attatched to their owners, expeically when they have been lovingly cared for all their lives. All 3 of those precious dogs are yours , always and forever will be.
Their is a attatchment and bond they have with you , as well as u do have with them. Dogs are accutely aware and sensitive to their owners and these are your 3 lovely dogs no matter what decisions you need to make for them.
Their health comes first . money is an issue for me as well, however , we do what it takes for them . Just take care of your needs first .
Work something out with the yorkie rescue lady . And bring back home your dogs, they need to be with you, and you need to be with them.