Originally Posted by RachelandSadie
(Post 2782367)
i very much appreciate your approach here, this comment came across to me as sincere, kind and honest all the same time.
i know you are very passionate about stopping puppy mills and i hope someday that i might even be able to join you in that cause. i don't blame you one bit for wanting to stop them, they are horrible and terrible things, but i also want others to realize that while i might be a bit naive and new to the world of buying puppies, i'm not trying to support puppy mills. i have learned a lot from you all on YT and i have also had times that i felt i did nothing more than get stressed out over a little too much drama. it goes both ways, learn something, get treated badly, learn something else from another person. take the good with the bad. i did want to mention this though about educating people and how to come across to get your point to be taken...
as nancy has done with this post, i think all posts and informative comments should be much the same:
i'm sure glad for all the good information and without YT there are plenty of things i wouldn't have known about yorkies. i do appreciate that very much and i also love the kindness that some people have shown on here with sending clothing for nothing and being so sweet. i just hope that over time they will learn that i'm not a bad person and i only strike back when my tail gets stepped on :) if someone wants to give information more power to them, but when it's not presented as a take it or leave or not presented kindly to me, i am probably going to get offended and naturally get a little defensive rather than hear them out...it's pure human nature.
when educating someone, if the information is presented in a kind, encouraging, way it is always absorbed and taken into consideration, when info is presented in a condescending or somewhat heated or a little harsh manner, even when it's not intended to be that way, if it sounds that way to the reader or hearer, it makes the person defensive, shut down, close off, and not want to hear one more word that the person with the info has to say.
it's the same way with my husband, if i tell him that he needs to change something and i'm coming at him with my claws out, he won't listen to my concerns or feelings he'll shut down emotionally and go into defensive mode (which in turn pisses me off the same way my defensiveness pisses you guys off)
if i go at it with love and kindness he always sees the need for the change and takes my suggestion to heart and actually tries to please me and do what i asked of him in some form, or at least wants to discuss the matter if he doesn't agree without lashing back out at me.
i just want us all to learn to educate each other and help each other out in a little bit more tactful manner, i know that most of you have been very tactful from the beginning, but if people say that was a little harsh, there is a reason they have said that, so don't go on the defensive back at them and tell them that you are only being honest with them when they feel attacked. if someone gets defensive and feels beaten up, apologize and try to rephrase what you meant to say so they are more willing to accept it. otherwise you create a rift between your info and their brain and they will never open up to it and learn what you so much desire for them to learn.
tactfulness goes a long way, especially on a forum that you cannot see or hear people when they talk, it's all reading...so re read your posts and make sure what is said comes across kindly and cannot be taken the wrong way...
we deal with this all the time in our jobs with email and texting as the new way to communicate. it's wonderful how fast and easy and convenient it is to email or text, but we're missing the key link to communication, the non verbal behavior of the person speaking and the inflections and tone of voice, it's hard to tell sometimes how a person is sounding when you read their thoughts rather than hear them speak their mind.
this has all been a big dramatic mess that shouldn't have ever happened, but i hope the lessons learned are not only that puppy mills suck and shouldn't be supported (which i will not be by registering APRI) but that also we have to learn some kindness on YT and talk to each other with a little more tact in order to get the point across and to actually get through to a person we desperately want to educate |