rescue workers, can you please tell me if i was treated fairly?
 

Sorry this is long, but i need to give you enough info. so you can help me with my question.

i recently found a cat that i really wanted to adopt from a rescue (i been looking for a specific breed for years, and never found one near where i lived). i had wanted just one kitten, but since they had the requirement of adopting 2 kittens at the same time. i was willing to adopt two.

i went through the application, had two references write to them, and also had my vet's recommendation. (these references were required by the rescue) (the vet also told them to call him if they wanted any more info. and said that he would be very happy to talk to them)

the application went through, and the interviewer called me for an interview. during the interview, i told her that my fiance was allergic, at which point the interviewer told me that we don't need to go further, because she knows the rescue, and they won't approve my application.

i asked her if she didn't mind, i would still like to at least go through with the interview. she was ok with that, so we went on. and when she asked where would the cats sleep, i told her that they couldn't sleep on our bed because fiance will not be able to breath if they did. at this point, the interviewer again informed me that the rescue will not like that.

we finished the interview, i didn't have any expectations, because she told me many times that i wouldn't get approved. but i was very happy and surprised when they emailed me to tell me that my application was approved.

i went to the foster parents house to visit the kittens. i fell in love with 2 kittens, and the foster mom told me that i would have a week to consider it. 2 days later, she told me that someone else is interested in adopting the kitties i wanted to adopt. so i had to make a decision right then, so i told her: yes, i would like to adopt both kitties.

she emailed back to tell me that after consideration, she doesn't want me to adopt both kittens, i would have to choose one, and adopt a different kitty along with the kitten i choose.

it was really hard for me, because i guess i kind of bonded with both kitties. and then later that day, she emailed me to tell me that one of the kittens i wanted was adopted. she also said that i needed to commit to the other kitten right the way if i wanted to adopt.

so i said, ok, i would like to adopt the two kitties. one i bonded with, along with the other kitty that i didn't really know...

she emailed me back the next day and told me that i wasn't crazy enough about BOTH kitties, so she doesn't want to place them with me.

i was heartbroken, because i researched and researched and bought them food, toys, litter box, and was really ready to welcome them to my house that day.

i spent the day crying. i guess i really got my hopes up.

my fiance was really angry with the way they handled everything. he said "let's just look for a breeder" ...

i really wanted to adopt, but can you please tell me if i was treated fairly? i felt that the foster parent really abused her power, and i have no idea what happened. i would have been ok, if she told me in the beginning that she thinks i am not going to be a good mommy or something like that. but i don't understand why she kept stringing me along, getting my hopes up, and then, tell me that i wasn't crazy enough about both kitties. ( how can i be crazy about a kitty that i didn't get to spend time with? i told her that i needed to make sure the cats were really gentle because my yorkie is only 3lbs and VERY friendly, and need to make sure kitties wont' hurt her.)

did i do something wrong? what could i have done differently? i am heartbroken, i really thought i was going to welcome the kitties home.

IMO, it would have been fair to deny your application due to fiance's allergies but I would be very upset about the rest of what you went through.

Some rescues do try their best to find the best home possible and that's great but too many of them do these kinds of things, string people along, deny applications for no good reason at all, etc. I would like to rescue a couple Yorkies someday but hearing all of these stories about how hard it is to rescue and everything new owner has to go through, I think going to a breeder would be a lot less headache and heartache.

I'm sorry you didn't get your kitties. :(

Please don't think that this happens all the time.......I can't speak for all rescuers, but as for myself...........we gets many apps for each animal that we get...in fostering the animal the requirements are to find out about them, socialize them and than find the best fit for that particular animal..........It does sound very unfair what happened to you. Unless the animals are owner surrender and have been together for a long time we know that it is hard for someone to take two at a time..........so kittens and two does not make sense..........but I do not know that rescuer. Please, please don't let this stop you from adopting. Each rescue group has their own guidelines just as breeders do....there are good and bad in each group.......Be patient, you will find the right group and the right animal. Hope this helps a little.
hugs

thank you for your support. i really do think that rescue workers are heros, and i really do support adopting from rescues, but i just really don't understand what happened and that's why i made a post, and i want to hear what insights people can offer me.

it really hurt me that they made me believe i could welcome the kitties home, and then suddenly tell me NO after telling me to make a decision right away!

Sorry to hear about that :( I don't really know much about rescues, but what they did to you was pretty mean. Did they expect you to throw a fit and demand BOTH of the kittens? You were just being reasonable and co-operative. As for your fiance's allergies, I'm curious as to why you still want to adopt kittens? I'm allergic to cats as well, and I could never consider owning one, as I would always have red eyes and be sneezing constantly :o

I know you are so sad about this, and I really feel bad for you. I hope you don't hate me when I tell you this, but I wish every breeder was a tough as the rescues. It's better that they are too tough than too lenient. I think what happened is that they were following procedure when they intially refused you, but you are very likable, and they wanted to bend the rules for you. It also sounds like they wanted you to take a cat that they've had a hard time placing. I know you're hurting and I don't think what they did was fair either. I just hope you don't give up on the idea of a rescue. Big hugs to you!

i know that not all rescues are like this, i believe most aren't so unreasonable. i support rescues, and i have adopted 2 bunnies from a rescue, and i take them back to visit and say hello about once a month.

yorkiepuppie, was that some kind of test of your dedication to those particular kittens? I'm confused.

Anyway, that does sound heartbreaking. :( I had to bad-mouth rescues, but I do think some go overboard and end up missing good matches, like yourself, and discouraging others. I wonder sometimes if it's a San Francisco thing -- there is SO much money here for supporting animals and so many animal rights activists that people get really extreme. It stops being about finding the animals a GOOD home, and becomes about finding the animals a PERFECT home.

My coworker went through the ringer adopting a catahoula leopard hound, and he has the most ideal family imaginable. He did get his dog eventually, though.

Is it possible the foster mom just decided she wanted the kitties for herself?

I hope this isn't too inflammatory to say, but I hate when rescue people rail on and on about all the unwanted animals in shelters, and then make it impossible for people to actually get shelter animals.

definitly underhanded stuff going on. sounds like she had a friend wanting one that you wanted, and she was trying to find a way to get rid of more so she was forcing you to pick one someone else didn't want, not cool. sorry for your loss :( I would report it to the rescue

hehe, good question! :)
i still wanted to adopt because i love animals, and my fiance loves animals as well. he had rescued a stray cat before, and that was our first kitty. and he also grew up with cats.
he likes cats as well... but you are right in that i am mean to bring a cat home when i know he is allergic. i need to be more considerate!

Please don't get discouraged with rescues and rescuers, there are so many homeless animals out there that need us..........and don't let one or even two bad apples spoil it for any of you...........we do care about the animals and we do want them in your homes. Be patient with us, we want to help you too.

i don't think your mean. Allergies can be managed with inexpensive medicines. If he grew up with them its obviously not a life threatening case, and he seems very supportive of it

Lol, you must not be allergic! But I don't think yorkiepuppie has a mean bone in her body.

i can never hate you! :) i think you are on to something with your theory about what might have happened. :(

no actually I am not, but my husband is. He's had severe allergy's all his life, including cats, and he's the one that just told our daughter she could adopt the kitten she found, while I was the one saying no. Allergy's can be managed. They don't have to mean that one has to miss out on the joy of a pet

No, I didn't think you were mean at all! I didn't realize that your fiance grew up with cats. Are his allergies pretty mild then? I can't be around cats for more than 20 minutes, otherwise my allergies start to act up really bad. Although, a friend of mine has a Blue Russian, which I'm actually ok with. I spent the weekend at her house and it wasn't too bad. I sneezed a few times, but it was nothing like my normal reaction to cats. I just could never imagine owning one because of my allergies...I'd just be an itchy-eyed, sneezing mess all the time lol.

I SUPPORT RESCUES! :) i don't mean to have this thread be discouraging to people about adopting animals. i think people should always adopt if they can. i looked and looked for a yorkie to adopt before i purchased milu from a breeder. i couldn't find one to adopt. and i felt very guilty buying a dog when i should have adopted. but i really wanted a yorkie, and i couldn't find one to adopt.

What about trying to call the Animal control officers in the towns around you? I would think they would have some needy kitty's that could use a good home.

Seems the pet rescue you contacted has lost sight of it's true mission.

Oh sorry, I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I had cats and tried every type of medication there was, it just got worse and worse, and some medications don't agree with me and had horrible side effects. There are those that have great luck with medications, but I would be afraid of building up a tolerance to the medication. It's kind of like feeding your yorkie corn when you know he's allergic, and then giving him something to stop the allergic symptoms.

i agree with you that rescue workers in our area might be going a bit overboard. i see it in other rescues in this area as well. maybe it is like you said because they have a lot of funding? i am not sure.

that foster mom told me to go look at another kitty somewhere else, (the same rescue, different foster parents) but i just don't feel ready anymore for a cat... i don't really know why, i think because the rescue really hurt my feelings, and i don't really trust them right now.

People like that certainly are letting their "power" get to their heads. :mad: It is experiences like yours that discourage others from rescuing. I've always wanted to adopt and/or foster the older and not as likely to find a home dogs and cats in the future when my husband's retired and we're better prepared for that kind of commitment. So far I've been leaning more towards adopting from the S.P.C.A. and similar societies as opposed to some more invasive rescues when the time comes. I really value my own privacy and I have a hard time trusting strangers going through my home and getting enough personal information practically for burglary or identity theft even. And I really hate being judged by strangers and hate feeling like my "child" is never truly my own whether it be the skin or fur kind. I admire those who are able to rescue and who don't mind the home inspections and filling out those interview forms as I understand a certain need to do so, however, because of my personality, I wouldn't be able to go through the same.

yorkiepuppie, maybe it just wasn't meant to be for you. But if you're set on rescuing, try a different group? I don't think all fosters will be like the one you had the misfortune to be toyed around by. Since your fiance is that allergic, have you considered getting Milu a doggy companion instead? Maybe an older but still playful one to skip the puppy training stage? Even though my dog loves chasing the cat, I think she'd be happier with a doggy companion as they'd be more "equals" than she is with my cat now. It depends on the dog and cat, I suppose, since my shih-tzu was happy with just human companions, but she was thrilled with kittens (and played the part of a submissive girl belly-up when they made barely audible hisses at her). She was my cat's most favourite sibling ever as she never "chased" or "chewed" on her but they'd curl up together and the shih-tzu allowed her to groom her. We had always hoped our shih-tzu would be around when we were finally ready to bring a yorkie puppy home, but that wasn't meant to be. :(

Don't get disheartened! But I do hope those kittens fostered by that parent will all eventually find a good home.

My parents who have owned dogs all of their lives, and are very well off financially tried to get a dog from a rescue last year. My father was turned down from a rescue because when they called the vet from their last dog my dad did not have a blood test done on the dog. All of their dogs have lived to 15-17 yrs. He finally did adopt one. I know they are extremely careful about
the homes these animals go to.
my son is very allergic to cats , so I will never be able to have one. IMO why have an animal in the home that is not a good match for everybody who lives in the household?
I am sorry things did not work out for you and your fiance.

I am so sorry you went through all that! That was horribly unfair to play with your emotions like that. I think you have every right to have hurt feelings. If they denied you from the start due to the allergies I would understand but stringing you along and letting you pick out kittens was cruel.

i really have no idea what happened :confused:
i thought about reporting her, but i don't think the rescue will be on my side. and also, she is helping out the rescue by fostering the kitties.
so i didn't really think i should get her in trouble (not that i think she would get in trouble anyways) just because she for some reason didn't think i should have the kittens.
she shouldn't not have lied though when i was there. i asked her if she thinks it would be a good idea to adopt the two kitties, and she said it would be fine. :thumbdown

he is supportive of it, but he did say that i would have to agree to vacuum everyday, and that i can't allow the cats to sleep on the bed, because he wants to be able to breath when he sleeps.

I am very allergic to cats, and while it is not life threatening, it is definitly a quality of life thing. I grew up with cats too but that doesn't make having one again sound like fun.

:thumbup: That is me right there- I can't take oral medication during the day so it makes things super hard.

As for you Miss Yen I am soooooo sorry you had to go through this!! But I honestly think everything happened for a reason and perhaps it wouldn't have worked with your fiance and the two kitties. It would be horrible to have to re-home them becuase dh couldn't breathe all the time!! I think you need to just get another yorkie!! :D

Why don't you start looking for a yorkie to adopt? Hmmmmm :rolleyes:

actually i do have a couple :p

it seems like people who have allergies are big animal lovers and they tend to have big hearts and are super nice to their loved ones! :D

:lol tears
Lol, that's funny, I guess everybody needs a couple! :D

i have been searching for a specific breed for a long time now, and finally found one with this rescue.

i know there are a lot of kitties that could use a good home and i feel very bad...i am looking for a specific breed and i also need to make sure it has a very friendly temperament because i have bunnies, and i also have a dog who is even friendlier and nicer than my bunnies. i need to make sure the cat i adopt will be safe for her. the breed that i am looking for is know for it's friendliness and it's puppy-like quality.

i agree with you that the rescue lost it's mission...