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Old 01-14-2009, 05:53 AM   #1
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Default Help with Doggie Guilt...please...

Hello there. I am fairly new here. I posted in the pics section yesterday and got some wonderful comments and support for my situation I am in. My husband and I are in the process of splitting up, and so many of you left kind words and told me how my Wookie will be my rock. So true, he is a God send! I don't know how I would get through this without him. But he is also a big part of what is worrying me most. My family and friends think I am crazy and say 'he is a DOG, he will be fine', but I think you guys here know how much more he is than that.

Currently, my husband and I are still in the same house, but that will be changing soon. I leave for work at 5:45 in the morning and get home around 3-3:30. My husband doesn't leave til around 9, so Wookie has him there with him a few more hours in the mornings, but that will change once we move out. I HATE the idea of him being alone that long! I am not worried about accidents because I have had to do it occasionally when my husband has been out of town and he does fine. I am worried about his well being. I know how important it is to excercise dogs and keep them stimulated. As it is now, I don't go places in the evening during the week unless I know my husband will be home cause I don't want Wookie having to stay alone any longer. When I get home I try to spend as much time with him as possilbe, going for walks, playing and just trying to keep him stimulated. I don't mind giving up somethings for him, but it is getting where I am not getting ANYTHING else done. One of the things is my art. I am currently trying to further develop a line of paintings (of dogs, go figure!) that I want to start trying to market myself with and get commissions for (maybe actually make money on my art!). I really need to spend time on it each night. But when I sit down at my art table and see him sitting by my chair holding a ball in his mouth, I just can't deny him. It breaks my heart! Tennis is another thing. I love to play and it is a great stress relief for me (which I need right now), but I can't practice after work, cause I have to get home to him. Once we move out money is going to ber VERY tight for me, and I really need a second income source, but there is NO WAY I will take a second job and leave him alone any longer than I already do. (This is where my family and friends say I am just crazy) And since money is tight, I can't afford a dog walker to come during the day to help (plus I am just not real trusting of people with him, I am always afraid he will get away from them and be gone!). Since I have a sometimes pretty physcial job, I get tired early (plus from getting up so early) but I just hate lying around relaxing or going to bed early cause I know he probably spent all day sleeping and will sleep all night with me. I feel horrible that he only has a few hours in the evening to be active and with me. This is exactly why I waited til I was married and settled to get a dog, where I could have help and time for him. I just feel so guilty all the time. Plus I worry about how it is going to affect him taking him out of the only home he has ever known and away from his Daddy. Does any of this make sense or is this just an emotional mess of a message??? (Sorry) Is there anyone else who has felt this way? How do I deal? Maybe I am just that 'crazy dog lady' everyone thinks.....sigh....
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Old 01-14-2009, 06:46 AM   #2
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I wish i could offer some advice, but all i can give is some support. YOu are not a crazy dog lady- and if you are... well then we all are too and we like it so you found a great place. I know someone who can offer advice will come by and ease your mind and your heart.
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Old 01-14-2009, 06:51 AM   #3
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Thank you, that means a lot! Makes me feel better to know I am in good company!
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Old 01-14-2009, 07:44 AM   #4
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I have just been throught the same thing hun, i lived with my partner and tho we wasnt married we did live 2gether for 5 years untill in oct i moved out. It was so hard moving out and in to a new place on my own and wow bailey has been my rock. I spend time with bailey but also got him lots of toys so he could play with himself and let me get on with things. I even trained him to use puppy pads so i didnt have to go outside late of a night on my own. We go on a long walks when i get home from work and after the house work is done i cuddle up with him on the couch. Everything will fit into place after a few weeks and your little furbaby will get used to his new times of doing things. Is there no one in your family or friends who could pop in and see him while your at work, or even dog sit for you during the day? Could you not take him to tennis with you might be a little fun him trying to catch the ball haha and it will defo tire him out haha! If u need any advice or just someone to talk to pm me hun, i just been throught this i know how hard it is.
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Old 01-14-2009, 08:55 AM   #5
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. That makes me feel better! I will probably take you up on that offer to pm, cause you are right, this is difficult!! You just don't know how much it means to me, cause I have been feeling like no one understands what I am going through where he is concerned!!!

BTW, have tried taking him to tennis. He cries and barks to get on the court with his mama. And while I think that is precious, the other players don't seem to like it too much! haha
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Old 01-14-2009, 09:05 AM   #6
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Things have a way of working out, you just need some time. After you both get used to the new way of life you will wonder why you got so upset worry about it. Best to you
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Old 01-14-2009, 09:31 AM   #7
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I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now. It will get better you just have to get through the bad of right now. And as heartless as it may sound, well, he is a dog, albeit your sweet baby boy, (as much as mine are my sweet babies too) but he will adjust quite nicely to whatever routine you establish. It will all work out, it will just take a little time and you need to be dedicated to a schedule. There are many YT'ers in the DFW area, maybe see if you can do playdates to help out with keeping things stimulating for him. I do a date night with my oldest, Boo. Even though it's only like an hour long, it does soooo much to help his attitude for the rest of the week.

I work full time, have a hubby and 3 Yorkies, have several hobbies that I like to do(need to do for my sanity ), plus the housework, a very active Church life, friends, family, etc... I sit down Sunday afternoon/evening and write out all that needs to be done the next week. Then I prioritize them and then break it up throughout the week to come. That way I know what needs to get done, when I'll do it and I don't get overwhelmed. DH and I have dinner together each night and talk out our day. I have 'kid' time each night, even if it's just 30 minutes, it's focused on just them. I do my housework a little each night so that I'm not suddenly faced with a wreck of a house needing hours to clean. I can schedule more for Fri evenings because I don't have to get up for work on Sat. My DH gets up at 4 a.m. on Sat's to go to work, so I get up then also. Funny how getting up at that time on Sat isn't as hard as on a work day. I bathe the dogs and spend some 1-1 time with each of them. I then do what chores I've assigned to Sat and am usually done by noon. That leaves me the rest of Sat free, that's when I do what I want to do. Play more with the kids, take them out, meet with friends, work on a project for the house or on one of my hobbies. Sunday days are church and time with hubby. Sunday evening I do my schedule for next week and get things set up for Mon morning and finish doing anything that I want to do. It works for me because I can see what has to be done, what I want to do and the time available for it each week. I don't feel so overwhelmed, or like I'm 'shorting' anyone, including myself.

Just find a routine that works for you, try it out, tweak it if need be, and don't beat yourself up over the things you think you should be doing. Just do what you can, it'll all come out in the wash, as my mom use to say.
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:30 AM   #8
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Maybe you could get into a routine of a good, long walk when you get home. That will give you some "together" time, and give him some much-needed exercise. It will be good for both of you!

I was also thinking of family or friends who live nearby...especially if you know someone who doesn't work, or who may be a little older, retired, or on their own. They might enjoy having that time for a special visit.

My last thought was...I know that money is tight, but if you have a pre-teen or teen who lives nearby who is responsible, maybe you could pay him/her a small amount to come and walk Wookie, and play with him for a little while. Kind of like a "mother's helper".

Good luck! I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but I am sure everything will work out. Our dogs love us no matter what!
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:38 AM   #9
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I'm sorry to hear about your situation...you mentioned needing a second job...how about doing something from home to make extra money...I don't know what your skills or hobbys are but maybe you can think them thru and come up with some kind of home or online business to make extra money...

I have an embroidery business, a sign business and a custom candy wrapping business..and i do all from home so that I am here with my little girl...
just some ideas
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:47 AM   #10
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Oh my gosh, thank you all so much!! It really does make me feel better. I have just been so afraid that I am going to do something to make him stress or something. Its good to know that I am still doing things right. And thanks for all the suggestions too, I knew it would make me feel better to vent here. Its just not the same talking to 'non dog' people who don't get what I am talking about.
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Old 01-14-2009, 10:51 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kidmuzicdotcom View Post
I'm sorry to hear about your situation...you mentioned needing a second job...how about doing something from home to make extra money...I don't know what your skills or hobbys are but maybe you can think them thru and come up with some kind of home or online business to make extra money...

I have an embroidery business, a sign business and a custom candy wrapping business..and i do all from home so that I am here with my little girl...
just some ideas



I am hoping to be able to do that with my dog paintings once I get where I feel confident enough in them to get out there and market myself. I am also learning dog grooming, so hopefully that can turn into something to make a little extra at, and even do at home. Thank you so much for your ideas and understanding!
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Old 01-14-2009, 11:01 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeresaM View Post
I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now. It will get better you just have to get through the bad of right now. And as heartless as it may sound, well, he is a dog, albeit your sweet baby boy, (as much as mine are my sweet babies too) but he will adjust quite nicely to whatever routine you establish. It will all work out, it will just take a little time and you need to be dedicated to a schedule. There are many YT'ers in the DFW area, maybe see if you can do playdates to help out with keeping things stimulating for him. I do a date night with my oldest, Boo. Even though it's only like an hour long, it does soooo much to help his attitude for the rest of the week.

I work full time, have a hubby and 3 Yorkies, have several hobbies that I like to do(need to do for my sanity ), plus the housework, a very active Church life, friends, family, etc... I sit down Sunday afternoon/evening and write out all that needs to be done the next week. Then I prioritize them and then break it up throughout the week to come. That way I know what needs to get done, when I'll do it and I don't get overwhelmed. DH and I have dinner together each night and talk out our day. I have 'kid' time each night, even if it's just 30 minutes, it's focused on just them. I do my housework a little each night so that I'm not suddenly faced with a wreck of a house needing hours to clean. I can schedule more for Fri evenings because I don't have to get up for work on Sat. My DH gets up at 4 a.m. on Sat's to go to work, so I get up then also. Funny how getting up at that time on Sat isn't as hard as on a work day. I bathe the dogs and spend some 1-1 time with each of them. I then do what chores I've assigned to Sat and am usually done by noon. That leaves me the rest of Sat free, that's when I do what I want to do. Play more with the kids, take them out, meet with friends, work on a project for the house or on one of my hobbies. Sunday days are church and time with hubby. Sunday evening I do my schedule for next week and get things set up for Mon morning and finish doing anything that I want to do. It works for me because I can see what has to be done, what I want to do and the time available for it each week. I don't feel so overwhelmed, or like I'm 'shorting' anyone, including myself.

Just find a routine that works for you, try it out, tweak it if need be, and don't beat yourself up over the things you think you should be doing. Just do what you can, it'll all come out in the wash, as my mom use to say.

What a great suggestion!!! I did a search of the message board on "Fort Worth" and found a recent post from someone who lives very close to me wanting to set up a playdate and had another respones from someone else who lives close by! This is great! Hopefully I hear back from them! Thanks for that idea!
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