Can't Keep Teddy Anymore

[Lolasmom1211]

Originally Posted by SamiNFurbabies

I don't think that anyone is trying to be judgmental---just helpful.
Do you know how many dogs are in rescue organization because people are not willing to WORK with the dog? Not willing to keep up with their commitment? Do you know how the dog must feel---being tossed from home to home? I do. I have volunteered for these organizations and I have two little bundles of joy sitting next to me. Their sweet faces didn't deserve that! It took them a long time to trust that I would love them unconditionally and that i would never leave them.
She knew what a dog was before she got it--she should have understood the amount of dedication that having a dog requires.
I have been in worse situations---I have had to take care of my parent by myself after she was in an accident, take care of the dogs (one whom was a pup at the time), and go to school... I did not once think that it was an option to shirk my responsibilities. I did my best. With the proper organization and commitment level---it can be done.
Everyone has provided her with great advice---some of which she is willing to take---and I commend her for that. I think that her dog is an excellent, loving dog who deserves a person who is the same.
Now, if she is not willing to work with her dog---I agree, that finding a home would be best. But it does not sound like that is the case.
And i don't like the notion of "give up a dog now, get one when the time is right". People who view dogs as objects that can be disposed of when it is convenient shouldn't be having dogs. And I don't see why people should be supportive of a decision to rehome a pet (unless it is due to circumstances that the can't control ,such as illness)---they are doing the easy thing; the support should go to the displaced animal and person who has to do the clean up. JMO. This post may have sounded harsh, however I love animals and am very passionate about them---and I don't think that I should defend that or walk on eggshells.

I respect and support your position on this, I really do. But I have also worked with various rescue organizations, both animal and human, and have seen the outcome when people should have rehomed before there was too much damage done. Trying to undo damage takes a lot more effort and time than to prevent it in the first place. I work with children that have to be taken from abusive homes ~ if we could have removed them before the stress was too great, we could have avoided the terrible abuse that we see....the abuse that you speak of in your rescue dogs. I'm not trying to get on a soap box here, just merely stating that there are times when rehoming is best. This may not be one of those times if she is still willing to try, but if not, I don't think she should feel guilty about doing her best. Please remember, she is not you. You sound like you have an extraordinary love for your furbabies and they are very lucky!

[SamiNFurbabies]

I respect and support your position on this, I really do. But I have also worked with various rescue organizations, both animal and human, and have seen the outcome when people should have rehomed before there was too much damage done. Trying to undo damage takes a lot more effort and time than to prevent it in the first place. I work with children that have to be taken from abusive homes ~ if we could have removed them before the stress was too great, we could have avoided the terrible abuse that we see....the abuse that you speak of in your rescue dogs. I'm not trying to get on a soap box here, just merely stating that there are times when rehoming is best. This may not be one of those times if she is still willing to try, but if not, I don't think she should feel guilty about doing her best.

I agree. But I think that often people give up without trying. If they'd only try. Their dogs feel an enormous amount of love for them and they don't understand what's going on.
With Izze---her mom wasn't willing to give up anything for her... she was in the position to do so, but she didn't want to. And Izze loved her and it broke my heart that Izze was tossed aside like an object. I am in tears right now just thinking about what my Izze went through. It's not fair. And if someone is willing to step up---they should. Otherwise, they really shouldn't ever have dogs if they feel this way and yeah their dog should be rehomed. I just love animals more then anything and it really hurts me when nobody cares for them. They are so helpless and all they want is love...is that too much to ask? Now I'm going to hug my Izze. She doesn't know why i'm crying like a basketcase.

[Darlin Beauxs]

I feel if you decided to have children, or dogs, messes come with the territory. It's not fair to expect to have a flawless home when either of them are young. When I was 21, I would have been just as mad as the OP over my matress, carpet, etc. My husband and I also agreed to not have a dog until we owned our own home, due to us being raised with dog, and knowing what damage they can do. We didn't want to be stuck paying for repairs, etc, to an apt. when we may not have had the money to do it.

Now that I am 34 I see that these are things that can ALL be replaced, but my dogs are my most valuable, prized, posessions, who I love more than words can say. Like I said before, Baxter once destroyed my glasses, I was so angry, but I took one look at him, and said you are bad,but it was Mom's fault, and just went out and got another pair.

The little things they have done to my house make it a "home", that is lived in, and enjoyed by all who visit, and not a "house" that is filled for things just for show.

[MeganS]

OK. I haven't read the entire thread - I got to page 4 and decided to post.

You're saying he freaks out when he's in the crate...poops in it then creates a huge mess. That is because he associates the crate with something negative - he puts himself in there when he's bad. You need to get rid of that crate, go out, and get a brand new one. ONLY use it when something good is happening. Give him treats whenever he goes in it. Leave the door to it open ALL the time. At night, let him sleep in there, but put the crate on your nightstand or somewhere where he can watch you sleep.

The hardest part is ignoring him if he gets upset. If you have him in there at night, he's going to cry. You need to let him cry. Don't even talk to him.

It sounds to me like you need to go way back to the beginning. You need to start training him like you just brought him home - cross out everything you've done with him this far, and just start over. You need to be consistant. If he pees on the floor, it's your fault, not his. He doesn't plan to pee on the floor just to make you angry. If he pees on the floor, it's because you weren't watching him to make sure he goes out.

LEAVE him in the crate when you leave. If he gets upset, then he gets upset. yes, he might make a mess for the first little while. You need to ask yourself if you're willing to deal with that? If you are, then do it. All of these things are so preventable. Just leave him in the crate when you can't watch him, and you won't have to worry about anything.

Eventually (if you are VERY consistant) you will be able to let him loose in the house whenever you're home.

Get bellybands. Put a pad in the bottom of them. It'll take a lot of stress off of you. We used belly bands to house break Tucker - the unhousebreakable dog lol. It turned out that when he had a belly band on, he WOULDN'T pee, so we left them on him all the time and took him outside whenever he even looked at us funny, and then eventually he was housebroken.

One thing that a lot of people think (I'm not sure if you do too or not) is that their dogs 'go' in the house to 'get back at them' for something. For EX. someone will say "My dog gets mad when I leave him home alone, so he pees on my bed." No, your dog has to go to the bathroom when you leave him home alone, so he pees on your bed. They do not process thoughts like we do. He doesn't understand why it was wrong for him to pee on your bed. You need to teach him that.

I understand that you're frustrated, but he is too. He doesn't know why he's getting in trouble, because he doesn't know what he's doing is wrong. If he knew what he was doing was wrong, he wouldn't do it. That's how a dogs mind works.

If you're willing to make sacrifices and work really hard and prepare for him to destroy some of your things, then go for it - you will be repaid with 15+ years of unconditional love. If you honestly believe that you can't deal with it, then give him to somebody who can. I'm not judging you. I know first hand how hard it is to housebreak these guys. I don't doubt that you love him and that he loves you. But loving him isn't going to stop him from doing these things, and if you really really don't think that you can handle him acting like this and you've given up on him, then maybe you need to find him a new home.

[SamiNFurbabies]

If you're willing to make sacrifices and work really hard and prepare for him to destroy some of your things, then go for it - you will be repaid with 15+ years of unconditional love. If you honestly believe that you can't deal with it, then give him to somebody who can. I'm not judging you. I know first hand how hard it is to housebreak these guys. I don't doubt that you love him and that he loves you. But loving him isn't going to stop him from doing these things, and if you really really don't think that you can handle him acting like this and you've given up on him, then maybe you need to find him a new home.

Great post
I especially like the idea of getting a new crate... maybe a different "kind"?
Ie. If he was kept in a metal crate, get him a plastic hard dog carrier (like used for transportation).... or vice versa.

[phfgkl]

As always Megan, great posting..but, only one thing, that is, when a dog gets mad at you, they can do things to get back with you..I've seen it happen many times over the years, and believe me, it still happens...if he jumped up on her bed and peed, he may have been upset with her over something she did...dogs can be like kids, sometimes they do things hoping you will show them the attention..I know that doesn't make a lot of sense to some, but, even our dog trainer(and he's been doing training for years) has said they will do this occasionally..But, everything else, you're right on about..Now, have you turned 15 yet? From your posting, you would think you were at least 30..

[medusa512]

I agree with the post a few back with your husband being alpha and Teddy not thinking you have the same 'power' over him.

You mentioned that Teddy goes crazy when Darrell gets home....you need to have him start ignoring him for the first few minutes. I've read in a lot of places that lenghty goodbyes and immediate hellos lead to separation anxiety!!

And when I said Edgar made messes in the crate? He made IBS messes caused by anxiety. Even worse when we had 2 neighbors watching him and he had an episode.....I wound up throwing out the plastic piece in the bottom because no matter what I cleaned it with he could still smell or still thought it was an acceptable place to 'go.'

I think you've been reading most (if not every) one of these posts and have a feeling you won't give Teddy up.

Me and my messy dog made it through. YOu go GiRL!!

[Ashley V]

Have you ever tried giving him a calming aid when you leave? Try leaving a piece of worn clothing of yours in a crate with him. Try using an x-pen and give him a pee pad, toys, etc. Maybe put a blanket underneath or something you wouldn't care about if he destroyed it. Do you have a plastic crate or a wire one? A lot of dogs don't like the plastic ones because it's harder to see out of.

Here's what I think... he's already been rehomed and he's scared of abandonment... do you know the people you got him from? Do you know his past? My Smokey was 6 months when we got him and we were his 5th home. We went through EVERYTHING with him but you have to be PATIENT. If you can't be patient, then you should give him to someone who will because if you aren't, then he will just get worse and it's not fair to him. Smokey is now going on 2 years old and is so much better... still working on pottying training, but it's worth it for me by the love he gives. I'm also 21 and a military wife and don't have a lot of money to spend.

[shorebound]

Originally Posted by upindust

plus some ppl who let their dogs on couches.. you'll come over and sit down and the dog will jump up and in your lap and be in your face and nothing is worse then that and my dog is not a tiny lap dog.. he's 14lbs.

I have a 28 pound Cocker not tiny by all means. She is allowed on the furniture but know if we say no or down she cant come up. That comes with training and her knowing we are the boss.

Originally Posted by upindust

plus if he gets over excited he pees and my husband has the ability to get him over excited or to accidentally intimidate him to where he'll accidentally pee.

Sounds like he is being submissive to your husband. Have you tried talking to your vet?

Have you tried the x-pen that has been suggested?

[snoopymom]

I just want to say that I think you're an amazing and mature 21 yr old. You are experiencing a lot of events that are very stressful--husband away, not sure where you'll be living in the near future, etc. I understand about the mattress--that could be the last straw. It will be okay, though. You'll get it clean, I know.

If you need a cyber shoulder to cry on--this is (usually) a good place to get one. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you and your baby. Let us know how things go, okay?

[Bhikku]

Sometimes it is necessary to rehome a dog. If you do not have the patience, finances, or skill with animals to train a dog to your specifications, it would probably be better off with someone else.

Sometimes people pick a dog that is not compatible with their lifestyle. Sometimes they pick a dog without any research. Sometimes dogs just come into people's lives with no preparation, and they're doing the best they can. Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect.

Dogs are not children because dogs are not human. Sometimes a dog "parent" does not have the communication skills to get across to the dog what they want/need it to do. If they can't, the dog is better off with a family who can give it the ability to please its owners.

Dogs who stay with families resentful/frustrated with their behavior problems end up neglected or abused. Better that they get given over to someone else, and I support the OP's decision to do that if necessary.

It sounds like she is trying hard to solve her problems, so I commend that too.

[JeanieK]

Megan,
your post was excellent. However I believe that I would suggest an x pen or a small room when she is gone rrather than a crate. Especially since he hates the crate and gets so upset that he poops in tere. He is pooping because he is so upset that he loses control. My daughter had a dog that did that and they started putting him in the bathroom and that solved the problem.


The OP has been given a lot of good advice. If she loves the dog and wants to make it work she will try some of these things. If she does not want to try, then perhaps it is best if Teddy finds a new home.

[emilyann]

People, people, people... seriously, get off your thrones and give this girl a break.

You are in no way, shape or form in the right by being so rude to judge this girl. These days, not everyone has money out the wazoo to spend on repairs and even pet deposits for another apartment (if you can even find one). I know what position she is in, my boyfriend and I have been looking for a different rental for the past (AT LEAST) 5 months. It's NOT easy these days when you own a pet.

This forum is here to support others and help others with the problems they may be having, NOT to judge someone. Half of you keep going on and on about the SAME THING that doesn't even pertain to anything she asked or initially posted about.

Not everyone is as perfect as most of you seem to think you are. Just keep that in mind.

[Ashley V]

Originally Posted by emilyann

People, people, people... seriously, get off your thrones and give this girl a break.

You are in no way, shape or form in the right by being so rude to judge this girl. These days, not everyone has money out the wazoo to spend on repairs and even pet deposits for another apartment (if you can even find one). I know what position she is in, my boyfriend and I have been looking for a different rental for the past (AT LEAST) 5 months. It's NOT easy these days when you own a pet.

This forum is here to support others and help others with the problems they may be having, NOT to judge someone. Half of you keep going on and on about the SAME THING that doesn't even pertain to anything she asked or initially posted about.

Not everyone is as perfect as most of you seem to think you are. Just keep that in mind.

I don't see where anyone was being rude... I mean there may have been a couple posts, but I think everyone for the most part is just being honest.

[crystalsmom]

Wow this is still going on here!! Megan sweetie, I'm sorry but I do believe dogs can be very upset over things. the first time I stayed over at Sheryl and Eric's Taffy saw the suit cases and peed on their bed. She wanted to go since she always went to Fl. with them. Teddy could have been marking his territory, to say 'this is mine'. I thought the OP might be young but not as young as 21. Let's all think of the mistakes we made when we were that young. It's called learning from your mistakes and I'm sure she will. She has alot on her plate right now and I admire her for asking for our opinions and help.