Need help with separation anxiety - YorkieTalk.com Forums

carmensmama · 08-28-2008, 02:18 PM

We have a 3 year old Yorkie named Carmen. We have had her for almost a year. Before we had her a friend of mine had he. He trained her well but at her old home she had other dogs to play with, she was crated each time he left and he let her play outside, so she was only a half way house dog. Since we have had Carmen she is an inside dog, we take her out daily to play, but mostly she is inside. We do not crate her when we leave, because for one I just done feel like that is right and she doesn't pee or poop on the floor and she hasn't ever chewed up anything she wasn't suppose to or gotten into anything.

Since we got Carmen she is so attached to me. When I would leave and someone else was home, she would cry and whine for a while. Sometimes she would scratch at the edge of the dog and we would get on to her and put her in the crate for a little while (that's about all we use the crate for.)

I work full-time and so does my husband and we leave about the same time everyday, but she does seem to act out more when I leave early. Today I got home and she had completely ripped the blinds in our bedroom apart, like she scratched and bite at the blind. She has never done anything this bad before. It really kinda of confused me why she would do this and at first I didn't want to believe she actually did it. I took her over to her mess and said "No, ma'am that's a bad Carmen" and popped her on the nose a few times and put her in the crate.

My questions are: Is that a good way to discipline her when she has done something wrong? How can I help prevent her having such bad separation anxiety? My husband and I both agreed we do not want to crate her while we are gone. Please help!!!!

PANAMA69 · 08-28-2008, 03:19 PM

Aww girl hope someone that work can give you more help, but what a about a daycare for her at least two or three times a week or have some one to watch her if not, a xpen is great or the kitchen area with a baby gate, making sure food, water, safe toys, and/or tv or radio on for her, some people may suggest another yorkie for companion that could help or you can end up with two dogs that suffer from separation anxiety

lucyaboo · 08-28-2008, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carmensmama

She has never done anything this bad before. It really kinda of confused me why she would do this and at first I didn't want to believe she actually did it. I took her over to her mess and said "No, ma'am that's a bad Carmen" and popped her on the nose a few times and put her in the crate.

My questions are: Is that a good way to discipline her when she has done something wrong? How can I help prevent her having such bad separation anxiety? My husband and I both agreed we do not want to crate her while we are gone. Please help!!!!

I have always heard that if you don't happen to catch her in the act & correct her then, it is to late when you get home hours later. Even though I have talks with my dogs when they did something earlier...but no popping the nose.....good luck on the separation anxiety, I'll search around for some info for you

carmensmama · 08-29-2008, 04:36 AM

I have heard that if you don't catch them in the act, that you can't really discipline them correctly. When I got home and saw her mess, she always acts like she knew she did something wrong. She just lays on the floor and looks up at me really sad and it just breaks my heart!

My husband thinks that its just an isolated incident and not to worry about it. Maybe Carmen just gets bored and needs another doggy friend to play with.

YorkieMother · 08-29-2008, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carmensmama

We have a 3 year old Yorkie named Carmen. We have had her for almost a year. Before we had her a friend of mine had he. He trained her well but at her old home she had other dogs to play with, she was crated each time he left and he let her play outside, so she was only a half way house dog. Since we have had Carmen she is an inside dog, we take her out daily to play, but mostly she is inside. We do not crate her when we leave, because for one I just done feel like that is right and she doesn't pee or poop on the floor and she hasn't ever chewed up anything she wasn't suppose to or gotten into anything.

Since we got Carmen she is so attached to me. When I would leave and someone else was home, she would cry and whine for a while. Sometimes she would scratch at the edge of the dog and we would get on to her and put her in the crate for a little while (that's about all we use the crate for.)

I work full-time and so does my husband and we leave about the same time everyday, but she does seem to act out more when I leave early. Today I got home and she had completely ripped the blinds in our bedroom apart, like she scratched and bite at the blind. She has never done anything this bad before. It really kinda of confused me why she would do this and at first I didn't want to believe she actually did it. I took her over to her mess and said "No, ma'am that's a bad Carmen" and popped her on the nose a few times and put her in the crate.

My questions are: Is that a good way to discipline her when she has done something wrong? How can I help prevent her having such bad separation anxiety? My husband and I both agreed we do not want to crate her while we are gone. Please help!!!!

You never discipline for anything but most of all never anxiety.
You discipline for anxiety your going to get more anxiety.
Fear is treatable.
Crate or contain her in a safe place so she can not wreak anything.
Make sure she gets lots of time for run and play to wear her out.
I either give her a kong stuffed and corked with Peanut butter frozen with breakfast in it or a ball that she has to roll to get food out of.

She over bonded with you so work on her enjoying your husbands company as well. I can say this as my dog was until I started getting her to play and hang with a friend now she still loves me but has more confidence to work with others and take on the world. It very common in a rehomed dog that they bond hard fast and deep to one person.
I work on things to build confidence like tricks and behaviors put on a cue that your husband can do with her as well.

I look into either daycare or a dog walker to take her out midday for a break.

Have a look at ClickerSolutions Training Articles -- Separation Anxiety

JL

jennylee333 · 08-29-2008, 07:53 PM

My mom has a small mixed breed 1 year old....He suffers from being home alone!! He has chewed up some really special family things and my mom was on the verge of kicking him out...I told her to leave the TV on and see what happens then!!! She did and he was good as gold. There was one time that the timer was set to turn the TV off automatically and he chewed up somemore things....Boy did my mom make sure that timer got canceled. So long story short. Try leaving the TV on for her and see how that goes.!!!

lucyaboo · 08-29-2008, 11:14 PM

Great idea! I leave the TV on for my pup's too! They like the Nickelodeon channel

YorkieMother · 08-30-2008, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucyaboo

Great idea! I leave the TV on for my pup's too! They like the Nickelodeon channel

Actually TV or radio on is a bad Idea for dogs with anxiety for few reasons.

1 They need quiet time so if you want to have it on for a little while put the radio on a timer.
2. You can not control what comes over the TV or radio.. what if they have an emergency call out that is to high pitched and scary and will or could make it worse for a dog with anxiety. Or a show that has loud bangs and pops??
3. If it is sound that is the trigger you will only muffle it not stop it and it can concern them more to not hear it clearly.
4. not all music is calming but sets them in motion.
5. we tend to listen to things much louder then a dogs needs them to be. It hurts them long term.

That said if you listen to a radio station with your dog all the time and it is normal it is on all day. then go for it. Classical is better then most radio for dogs but some have loud bands and will concern a dog.

There are Cd's and DVDs for use with dogs with anxiety. I have a look at the stuff from Through a dogs ear.

JL

ARCHIE · 08-30-2008, 06:29 AM

I know how frustrating this can be, however, NEVER, EVER punish a dog
for damaging behavior done under stress, which is what your dog is
experiencing. He's frightened and can't help how he feels. It's exactly
like human fear fobias. You need to read or talk to a professional to help him calm his fears. Something in puppyhood has triggered this.
Buddy has experienced this as well but not to the extent of damaging
things. He digs up the front door trying to get to me when I leave.
He's four 1/2 and still does it. I have put a brass foot plate where he
scratches the door and now he digs in another area and has cut his
pad from splinters the other day. I now have to back out the door
and leave the baby gate up against it to keep him from the door. Other
than this behavior he sleeps all day.
Pick up the book, "Marlie and Me". It's a true story based on a lab who
experienced the same thing. It's a really very touching story and easy
reading.
Also, Ceaser Millan has wonderful and helpful ideas. Check out his DVD's.
I am sure there is one there that can help you.
Feel sorry for him and be his mentor, he can get past this behavior he just's
needs the proper treatment.

Good luck,

tishas_star · 08-30-2008, 06:49 AM

I've found my dogs love Frank Sinatra, Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, and Charlotte Church, but especially Old Blue Eyes. I just leave their music on really softly and they seem to enjoy it. Also you can buy like "feel good" pheromones for your dog that you plug into your wall outlet that is supposed to help. You might also try getting up early and taking her for a long long long walk and play time to help wear her out for the day. You might also talk to your vet about some anxiety medicine, have her thyroid levels checked, or even if it would be safe for her to take some Children's Benadryl when you are having to go to work to help her feel less anxious. Mine likes having a super soft fleece pillow in her crate that she "nests" in and I give her the big dog fluffy squeaky toys to cuddle in her bed (I only give them to her now b/c she originally took one of my big dogs' big toys when she was like 8 weeks old and keeps it to this day). But unless you catch her in the act all you will do is teach her to be fearful of you b/c she will associate the mess with you being angry, not her MAKING the mess with you being angry. It's like rubbing their nose in their piddle they just learn to HIDE it from you.

Malia · 08-30-2008, 06:55 AM

I am in the same position as you as me and my husband both work. We got Romeo at 11 weeks and it was out of the question to even leave him home by himself. I took him to work for a while, then my husband took him to his job for a while. Then overtime we started leaving him for 30 min here and there and he would cry his heart out

He was not having it...We really wanted to be able to leave him at home since it was the safest place for him. I looked into doggy day care but it would've added to our bills. So now I come home every so often at lunch time to check up on him. I like the idea of leaving the TV on, especially animal planet or something, but it wouldn't work for us because our TV is in our closet and he would get himself into a whole lot of trouble!! I know they also have music CDs you can get for them to calm them down, as another YTer suggested.
Romeo still doesn't like it but we have to work to be able to have him. When we get home, we spend a lot of time with him to try to make up for the time we couldnt be there for him.
Good luck to you and keep us updated about Carmen

DiorDoll · 08-30-2008, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tishas_star

I've found my dogs love Frank Sinatra, Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, and Charlotte Church, but especially Old Blue Eyes. I just leave their music on really softly and they seem to enjoy it. Also you can buy like "feel good" pheromones for your dog that you plug into your wall outlet that is supposed to help. You might also try getting up early and taking her for a long long long walk and play time to help wear her out for the day. You might also talk to your vet about some anxiety medicine, have her thyroid levels checked, or even if it would be safe for her to take some Children's Benadryl when you are having to go to work to help her feel less anxious. Mine likes having a super soft fleece pillow in her crate that she "nests" in and I give her the big dog fluffy squeaky toys to cuddle in her bed (I only give them to her now b/c she originally took one of my big dogs' big toys when she was like 8 weeks old and keeps it to this day). But unless you catch her in the act all you will do is teach her to be fearful of you b/c she will associate the mess with you being angry, not her MAKING the mess with you being angry. It's like rubbing their nose in their piddle they just learn to HIDE it from you.

OMG Now your dogs are just cool! I love Frankie too!

When you leave give her a treat and just tell her to have a good day and you will be back, when you come home show her love. While you are away you should have a kennel available to her. I know you dont "think its right" to kennel a dog, but for dog's, especially Yorkie's, it's a natural thing. You should get one, put a peice of clothing or towel that smells like you inside and water and just leave the door open. That way she has a choice. That's what I do with Milo, and 9 times out of 10, if im not home he is in the kennel sleeping. I know this because when I come home his fur is always meshed to one side when he comes to greet me because he has been sleeping on his kennel pillow all day.

tishas_star · 08-30-2008, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DiorDoll

OMG Now your dogs are just cool! I love Frankie too!

Gwen can be going crazy playing but "Fly Me To The Moon" comes on and she is like "Oh Momma! I just wanna curl up in HIS lap and let him sing to me!"

: She also likes a bit of jazz but she's more of a big band girl....since Frank played with them lol.

YorkieMother · 08-30-2008, 08:32 AM

I have done a wee check on my shelves of dog books.
I have a look at either.....

I’ll be home soon by Patricia McConnell

Also Dr. Karen Overall has some good stuff in her book
Clinical Behavioural Medicine for Small Animals

I tend to stay away from anything by Mr. Millan, to do with fear and anxiety as he tends to like to flood and push and with dogs that shut down that a very bad thing. One should never push a dog to over come anything although I do like that he says not to go oh poor baby as he is right it makes things worse and the dog feels he right to be scared.

JL

carmensmama · 08-30-2008, 10:36 AM

Last night, I surprised my husband with a new puppy! He was pretty excited (he did want to pick out the new puppy, since I came home with Carmen too). I got our new puppy from the same people we got Carmen from. He is 5 months old and is only going to be half the size of Carmen. Hopefully, now Carmen will have someone to place with. We are going to have train the new puppy (because Carmen was older and already trained when we got her). Wish us good luck with that. We are going to need lots of pointers!!!

08-28-2008, 02:18 PM	#1
carmensmama Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 12	Need help with separation anxiety We have a 3 year old Yorkie named Carmen. We have had her for almost a year. Before we had her a friend of mine had he. He trained her well but at her old home she had other dogs to play with, she was crated each time he left and he let her play outside, so she was only a half way house dog. Since we have had Carmen she is an inside dog, we take her out daily to play, but mostly she is inside. We do not crate her when we leave, because for one I just done feel like that is right and she doesn't pee or poop on the floor and she hasn't ever chewed up anything she wasn't suppose to or gotten into anything. Since we got Carmen she is so attached to me. When I would leave and someone else was home, she would cry and whine for a while. Sometimes she would scratch at the edge of the dog and we would get on to her and put her in the crate for a little while (that's about all we use the crate for.) I work full-time and so does my husband and we leave about the same time everyday, but she does seem to act out more when I leave early. Today I got home and she had completely ripped the blinds in our bedroom apart, like she scratched and bite at the blind. She has never done anything this bad before. It really kinda of confused me why she would do this and at first I didn't want to believe she actually did it. I took her over to her mess and said "No, ma'am that's a bad Carmen" and popped her on the nose a few times and put her in the crate. My questions are: Is that a good way to discipline her when she has done something wrong? How can I help prevent her having such bad separation anxiety? My husband and I both agreed we do not want to crate her while we are gone. Please help!!!!

08-29-2008, 07:53 PM	#6
jennylee333 YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Missouri Posts: 274	TV My mom has a small mixed breed 1 year old....He suffers from being home alone!! He has chewed up some really special family things and my mom was on the verge of kicking him out...I told her to leave the TV on and see what happens then!!! She did and he was good as gold. There was one time that the timer was set to turn the TV off automatically and he chewed up somemore things....Boy did my mom make sure that timer got canceled. So long story short. Try leaving the TV on for her and see how that goes.!!!

08-29-2008, 11:14 PM	#7
lucyaboo & pebbleliny ♥ my pups Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: LV NV Posts: 834	Great idea! I leave the TV on for my pup's too! They like the Nickelodeon channel __________________ MY 's BUDDY & BRONX & BERRI ~ MISSING MY 5 Handstamped pet ID tags at dogsidtagged.com ~ the Crew - YT 10% off code DIDT10YT

08-30-2008, 06:49 AM	#10
tishas_star Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Missouri Posts: 182 Blog Entries: 1	I've found my dogs *love* Frank Sinatra, Sarah Brightman, Josh Groban, and Charlotte Church, but especially Old Blue Eyes. I just leave their music on really softly and they seem to enjoy it. Also you can buy like "feel good" pheromones for your dog that you plug into your wall outlet that is supposed to help. You might also try getting up early and taking her for a long long long walk and play time to help wear her out for the day. You might also talk to your vet about some anxiety medicine, have her thyroid levels checked, or even if it would be safe for her to take some Children's Benadryl when you are having to go to work to help her feel less anxious. Mine likes having a super soft fleece pillow in her crate that she "nests" in and I give her the big dog fluffy squeaky toys to cuddle in her bed (I only give them to her now b/c she originally took one of my big dogs' big toys when she was like 8 weeks old and keeps it to this day). But unless you catch her in the act all you will do is teach her to be fearful of you b/c she will associate the mess with you being angry, not her MAKING the mess with you being angry. It's like rubbing their nose in their piddle they just learn to *HIDE* it from you. __________________ ~~Tisha~~Mom to Rambo Hannah Glock and Gwen

08-30-2008, 06:55 AM	#11
Malia YT Addict Join Date: May 2008 Location: Livermore, CA Posts: 299	I am in the same position as you as me and my husband both work. We got Romeo at 11 weeks and it was out of the question to even leave him home by himself. I took him to work for a while, then my husband took him to his job for a while. Then overtime we started leaving him for 30 min here and there and he would cry his heart out He was not having it...We really wanted to be able to leave him at home since it was the safest place for him. I looked into doggy day care but it would've added to our bills. So now I come home every so often at lunch time to check up on him. I like the idea of leaving the TV on, especially animal planet or something, but it wouldn't work for us because our TV is in our closet and he would get himself into a whole lot of trouble!! I know they also have music CDs you can get for them to calm them down, as another YTer suggested. Romeo still doesn't like it but we have to work to be able to have him. When we get home, we spend a lot of time with him to try to make up for the time we couldnt be there for him. Good luck to you and keep us updated about Carmen __________________ Now if only the rest of us were as determined as this dog

08-28-2008, 03:19 PM	#2
PANAMA69 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: ~~YorkieWorld~~ Posts: 8,428	Aww girl hope someone that work can give you more help, but what a about a daycare for her at least two or three times a week or have some one to watch her if not, a xpen is great or the kitchen area with a baby gate, making sure food, water, safe toys, and/or tv or radio on for her, some people may suggest another yorkie for companion that could help or you can end up with two dogs that suffer from separation anxiety

08-29-2008, 04:36 AM	#4
carmensmama Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 12	I have heard that if you don't catch them in the act, that you can't really discipline them correctly. When I got home and saw her mess, she always acts like she knew she did something wrong. She just lays on the floor and looks up at me really sad and it just breaks my heart! My husband thinks that its just an isolated incident and not to worry about it. Maybe Carmen just gets bored and needs another doggy friend to play with.

08-30-2008, 06:29 AM	#9
ARCHIE No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 16,218	I know how frustrating this can be, however, NEVER, EVER punish a dog for damaging behavior done under stress, which is what your dog is experiencing. He's frightened and can't help how he feels. It's exactly like human fear fobias. You need to read or talk to a professional to help him calm his fears. Something in puppyhood has triggered this. Buddy has experienced this as well but not to the extent of damaging things. He digs up the front door trying to get to me when I leave. He's four 1/2 and still does it. I have put a brass foot plate where he scratches the door and now he digs in another area and has cut his pad from splinters the other day. I now have to back out the door and leave the baby gate up against it to keep him from the door. Other than this behavior he sleeps all day. Pick up the book, "Marlie and Me". It's a true story based on a lab who experienced the same thing. It's a really very touching story and easy reading. Also, Ceaser Millan has wonderful and helpful ideas. Check out his DVD's. I am sure there is one there that can help you. Feel sorry for him and be his mentor, he can get past this behavior he just's needs the proper treatment. Good luck,

08-30-2008, 08:32 AM	#14
YorkieMother YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: North Posts: 1,324	I have done a wee check on my shelves of dog books. I have a look at either..... I’ll be home soon by Patricia McConnell Also Dr. Karen Overall has some good stuff in her book Clinical Behavioural Medicine for Small Animals I tend to stay away from anything by Mr. Millan, to do with fear and anxiety as he tends to like to flood and push and with dogs that shut down that a very bad thing. One should never push a dog to over come anything although I do like that he says not to go oh poor baby as he is right it makes things worse and the dog feels he right to be scared. JL

08-30-2008, 10:36 AM	#15
carmensmama Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 12	Last night, I surprised my husband with a new puppy! He was pretty excited (he did want to pick out the new puppy, since I came home with Carmen too). I got our new puppy from the same people we got Carmen from. He is 5 months old and is only going to be half the size of Carmen. Hopefully, now Carmen will have someone to place with. We are going to have train the new puppy (because Carmen was older and already trained when we got her). Wish us good luck with that. We are going to need lots of pointers!!!