Desparate for an answer

[IluvLucy]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Like the other posters, my heart is breaking. I cannot imagine your dil being so "hard hearted" about your dear little companion. I don't think that starving your sweet little one is "training", in my book that constitutes abuse. I agree that on sit/stay or down/stay as a prerequisit for putting a food bowl down, but training must occur before you can expect it to happen regularly.

I know that you must feel trapped in your situation. It sounds like your Yorkie is hper-protective of you and has taken that protectiveness one step too far. I sincerely hope that you are able to get everything resolved. Have you talked to you son? Perhaps you could check about assisted living facilities - many of those allow dogs.

Good luck to you. I will keep you close to my heart and in my prayers. Please keep us updated, 'cause we will worry about you.

It doesn't sound like your DIL is working with you on this. Please try to talk to your son about this situation. Also, if nothing changes, check into an assisted living facility. There's one where I live that allows the people living there to have their pet.

I'll be praying for your situation to improve................. God bless you.

[Sugar's Mom]

my two cents on this: I think the DIL is upset because you are there and it's not really the dog at all. My mommie always said that no home is big enough for two families. or two women. She is just blaming it on the dog. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. have you tried to get into one of those cheaper apt buildings for the elderly and disabled? I'm sure some of them would allow pets. you could sign up for home health and household assistance. it might be an option. Good luck and know that my prayers are with you.

[SophieRose]

Dear Kathy. I hope the suggestions by your fellow Yorkie lovers is helpful. Your pup is most likely very upset with the living conditons, children, and hightened anxiety from your DIL. Withholding food as punishment is not acceptable and imagine her tone is not kind especially when the food is thrown at you.

Do you have friends that take you and Molly out of the house for "away time"? Even for a few hours will give some relief to the situation. At this time in your life, being without your beloved pet is not a "given". Molly adds the love to your life that is needed.

It seems clear from the outside after reading your post that your family (ie son, DIL) need a third party to help you sort out the difficulty. Not just a dog trainer, but a family therapist.

All of us at some time in our life will be called upon to help, and have our life changed for the sake of helping a loved one in need. You, Kathy, are the loved one in need.

Bless you, Molly and your family. Warmly, Deborah

[janelles]

What a terrible situation to be in. My heart goes out to you,and I hope and pray that things will get better. Do you have other children? Could they help?
Janice

[yorkiecrazy]

I'm so sorry for the situation your in. Bless your heart. I think you should try talking to your son. The ladies here have all ready given you really great advice. I do hope things get better soon.

[domesticated08]

This sounds like a situation that is NOT healthy for everyone concerned..I pray things will somehow work out for you and your pup..sounds like your pup is as frustrated as you are..and No Wonder..there are some bad vibes in the household it sounds like...hopefully you can all come to a compromise that benefits you all..

[mojo]

Originally Posted by Sugar's Mom

my two cents on this: I think the DIL is upset because you are there and it's not really the dog at all. My mommie always said that no home is big enough for two families. or two women. She is just blaming it on the dog. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. have you tried to get into one of those cheaper apt buildings for the elderly and disabled? I'm sure some of them would allow pets. you could sign up for home health and household assistance. it might be an option. Good luck and know that my prayers are with you.

I agree, I was thinking she is probably upset that you are there, not to say she doesn't care about you, but that would be hard for a lot of people.
NOT that her behavior is acceptable at all. She sounds abusive. Please talk to your son; and w/out a doubt if it comes down to it, do not put your dog down.
You can always turn her over to a yorkie rescue.

[hha]

Your d-i-l sounds very childish..You do not take their food and throw it away..What does your son say in all of this? First of all, most dogs will learn to be aggressive while eating IF you tease them..I have always been able to put my hand in any of my dogs food, because I've never teased them..Even with our shepherd..If I see a piece of hair or straw or anything else, I dont even think twice, I put my hand right down in it..if she ever bit me, it would be the last time, but, teasing teaches them to be more aggressive..I wish you lived closer to me, you could stay here.. I hate knowing that you have to live like that, it just breaks my heart for you and your baby..

[Yorkieville200]

Originally Posted by Sugar's Mom

my two cents on this: I think the DIL is upset because you are there and it's not really the dog at all. My mommie always said that no home is big enough for two families. or two women. She is just blaming it on the dog. I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. have you tried to get into one of those cheaper apt buildings for the elderly and disabled? I'm sure some of them would allow pets. you could sign up for home health and household assistance. it might be an option. Good luck and know that my prayers are with you.

Dee,

I have to say, I agree with you. I think the DIL is using the Yorkie as a scapegoat. She can't say straight out she doesn't want her MIL living with them. If Kathy gives up her baby, her DIL will only find something else to complain about.

I think, before the relations become anymore strained, maybe they should check out some rentals for seniors/disabled as you said. A friend of mine in WA has a sister-in-law with MS. She is on government aid, has been able to stay in her own home and someone comes in cooks, cleans, does her laundry.

Help is out there. I hope Kathy comes back and reads this thread and learns there may be other options for her. I really hope she won't give up her baby.

Sheila

[93kathy10]

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful replies! I no longer feel so alone in all this. Your support and encouragement means a lot!

Before I give up Molly I will find another place to live. But first, I will find a conselor for myself and maybe my DS and DIL will join me there after a while. And I will find a new trainer for Molly and maybe go by myself for a while. When we went to the old trainer my DIL went along and she and I heard two different things all the time. She won't like it though. Is this a good idea?

I think you guys are right - if it wasn't Molly it would be another issue about control. In the meantime, I will have to keep her out of my DIL's face. What else can I do?
Kathy

[yorkiesmiles]

Kathy, I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but so glad you are willing to consider seeking out a counselor. I pray that at least your son would come along & support you. hw long have you lived with them & did Molly originally come with you?

I'm just wondering if these are new problems, or things you have been dealing with for a long time.

It must be so hard on you. I'm sure it is hard on Molly, as she must not know what to expect. Consistency is so important for our animals. I will be thinking and praying for you.

[bren4bears]

Have you talked to your son? What does he have to say about the situation at hand?

[93kathy10]

I had Molly for a few months after my husband died, then I was hospitalized for 8 months and my daughter took her. That's where her problems started. When I got out of the hospital, I went to live here for a 6 months without Molly, then back to my home for 4 months with Molly, then back here with Molly. So it's been about 16 months here with Molly.

I have other children but they want everything to work out perfectly here so they don't have to worry about me. I realized writing this post that I really don't have anyone safe to talk to about this. Don't forget, if I go in a nursing home, there goes their inheritance. I have enough income to live alone, but they would have to sell my hobby farm and they don't want to do that since it's increasing in value. So now I still have to pay for the upkeep on the farm and can't afford to live elsewhere.

My son is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He really has to side with his wife or his life is (you know).
Kathy

[mojo]

Originally Posted by 93kathy10

I had Molly for a few months after my husband died, then I was hospitalized for 8 months and my daughter took her. That's where her problems started. When I got out of the hospital, I went to live here for a 6 months without Molly, then back to my home for 4 months with Molly, then back here with Molly. So it's been about 16 months here with Molly.

I have other children but they want everything to work out perfectly here so they don't have to worry about me. I realized writing this post that I really don't have anyone safe to talk to about this. Don't forget, if I go in a nursing home, there goes their inheritance. I have enough income to live alone, but they would have to sell my hobby farm and they don't want to do that since it's increasing in value. So now I still have to pay for the upkeep on the farm and can't afford to live elsewhere.

My son is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He really has to side with his wife or his life is (you know).
Kathy

I feel so sad for your situation. It is your farm and if you want to sell it and get your own place, you need to do that for yourself.
I would always respect my mothers decision and do what she wanted; I care nothing about an inheritance, only about my mother.
You can't go back to live with your daughter?
Maybe you should find a counselor you can talk to or even a church minister.

[Yorkieville200]

Originally Posted by 93kathy10

I had Molly for a few months after my husband died, then I was hospitalized for 8 months and my daughter took her. That's where her problems started. When I got out of the hospital, I went to live here for a 6 months without Molly, then back to my home for 4 months with Molly, then back here with Molly. So it's been about 16 months here with Molly.

I have other children but they want everything to work out perfectly here so they don't have to worry about me. I realized writing this post that I really don't have anyone safe to talk to about this. Don't forget, if I go in a nursing home, there goes their inheritance. I have enough income to live alone, but they would have to sell my hobby farm and they don't want to do that since it's increasing in value. So now I still have to pay for the upkeep on the farm and can't afford to live elsewhere.

My son is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He really has to side with his wife or his life is (you know).
Kathy

Kathy,

I'm so glad you came back and posted. I was really worried about you. I'm still worried about you.

All the back and forth has been tough on Molly, so it's very understandable that she might have some behavior issues. I know the two times I was hospitalized last year, my tiny Kia really had a hard time dealing with my absence, so I know Molly must have suffered tremendously, missing you.

You do have someone safe to talk to; us. Please feel free to PM me. We can even exchange e-mail addy's if you like.

Frankly, I wouldn't give two figs about their inheritance. This is your life. Sell the hobby farm, and get your own place and get some home help.

These kids need to be reminded that you are their mother and have some respect.

Yes, I figured your son has to side with his wife, or she's going to make his life miserable.

You sound like a strong person. You've been through a lot.

Just hang in there, and show them you're down, but you're not out.

Hugs,
Sheila