who should get to "own" the name? - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

ladyj · 12-15-2007, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by txrosegirl

hey everyone, i wanted to ask your opinions...i am sure you have covered this numerous times before but i am a newer member (although i lurked a while!)

due to some rather unfortunate events (and unfortunate experience with some breeders) we are no longer getting our one boy puppy

we are still getting our yorkie bentley and he will be here on dec 28th

we are sooooo excited about this and have everything ready for him!

but anyhooo in the meantime, we decided to look for a little girl ... and we found our perfect baby girl and if all goes well we will be getting her over the christmas break...we always wanted to name her "bella" and planned on doing so...when speaking about her, we refer to her as "bella" ...

well we have been speaking to my fiances sister during this time since she has a furbaby and we had questions for her on training, upbringing, grooming, etc ... and we had mentioned when we got a girl we wanted to name her bella...she never said a word...

well now that the time is getting near, she tells him SHE claimed the name to name her firstborn daughter (she is not married, engaged, pregnant or anything along those lines) and said bentley and >insert any name here< sounds so much better than bentley and bella

she said we were not allowed to use the name!

is this fair?? i guess the thing that really upsets me is that my fiance and i are unable to have children of our own and our furbabies will BE our children...i just wondered if i was being unreasonable for being so hurt about this...

on a happier note, my baby girls mommy right now has named her a beautiful name so we could always call her that

although we had our hearts set on bella

your opinions please?? and PLEASE tell me if i am being a brat or unreasonable...maybe i am being selfish?

The sister isn't even married yet and will probably hear a lot of names she likes before she gets married, gets pregnant, has a daughter, and agrees with her husband on a name. What you name your dog is your business and no one else's, although I do sympathyze with you. When I got my first Bichon more than 10 years ago, I named her Chantilly Lace and called her Lacy. She was named before I ever found her as a tiny puppy and I told my family what I was going to name her. My son told me that his wife, my daughter-in-law, had a grandfather named Lacey and I didn't want to cause any problems. I thought about it and finally just asked my daughter-in-law if she would have her feelings hurt if I named my dog Lacy. She thought about it a minute and then burst out laughing and said "Mom, anyone would be honored to have one of your dogs named after them!" Lacy wasn't named after him, of course, and she didn't care at all. The man had been dead for several years. So Lacy was named Lacy. If my daughter-in-law had been bothered about it, I would have picked a different name for the sake of family harmony. I'm glad it didn't turn out that way. This was a case of someone with the name that already existed though, not a possibility in the future. You can't "own" a name. The only song I ever heard with my name in it was something called "Jeanette Get Your Hair Done" which was around when I was a teenager and sensitive to things like that. I had long hair that I was very particular about and I really hated that song!

makemepretty · 12-15-2007, 04:12 AM

Same thing happened here, we had the name Lola picked out and then my sil got pregnant and announced they were very much considering the name Lola. They had no idea I had chosen that for our puppy(that's according to them).

I asked my brother if he was ok with me still naming my puppy that and he said to go ahead(I didn't bother asking her

I used the reasoning that even if the puppy and my niece had the same name that she'd find it cool, not be offended. There are people out there with the same name, we have two Mikes just in our family. Anyhoo, I have my Lola and my niece was named Tru. So I'm very glad I didn't pick another name because then no one would have used it.

Yorkie3 · 12-15-2007, 04:28 AM

You should name her Bella anyway. Your SIL may never have a girl. Sound like she could be a controlling person.

pepe mint · 12-15-2007, 04:49 AM

hey, name her what you want!! it's not like her future daughter (if she is so blessed to have one some day) will be the only bella in class. I know several of them

txrosegirl · 12-15-2007, 04:54 AM

thanks guys!!!

the support here (and the honest opinions) are wonderful and like a breath of fresh air!!

MiLeighsMoM · 12-15-2007, 06:10 AM

I agree with the top post!! It would be really diffrent if she mentioned it before and you fell in love with the name.. But thats not the case and she isn't even expecting...

I do understand how she feels about not wanting to share a name.. My God Daughters name is MaKayla... I wanted to name my little girl that when i had one lol.. But great mines think alike and my bestfriend named her little girl that and had no clue thats that the name i wanted .. So i have to come up with another one LOL...

She will come up with something else if it bothers her that bad.. there are so many beautiful names out there... I even got told that i should have saved Mi'Leigh Brook for my first daughter... Well she is my first baby girl so..

Good luck with this issue!

alisonJ · 12-15-2007, 07:48 AM

Ha! There's a whole Seinfeld episode about this very thing. George decided he wanted to name his first child "Seven". He was upset when friends decided to use that name.

Dior'sMom · 12-15-2007, 08:02 AM

I say go for it. BELLA!

zoeybear · 12-15-2007, 08:03 AM

How old is SIL? What does Fiance' say about it? I guess I wouldn't start a war over it, but she sounds like she may be jealous. If you have a good relationship with her now, it might be worth thinking about. I think she is being unfair.

chattiesmom · 12-15-2007, 08:28 AM

I have a different take on the situation. It sounds like your Fiance's sister is a jealous. How old is she? Maybe you could try talking to her and explain to her that your this little precious furball will be YOUR daughter. And that it would consider it an honor for her to name her skindaughter the same name as your furdaughter.

Yorkiekids · 12-15-2007, 08:43 AM

I'd go for Bella, and if someday she has a baby she can still name it Bella if she wants. You can't have too many Bella's in the world.

SarahandElisha · 12-15-2007, 10:19 AM

Why don't you consider going with Belle instead of Bella?

It may suck that this could start a family war, but that's the reality. You marry your inlaws and it would be majorly sucky to be on bad terms already.

It's definitely not fair, but I think that most people who are not furbutt lovers are going to side with a skin-momma, so it may be a losing battle as far as the family goes.

Although the fact that she is not pregnant or committed to anyone is definitely on your side!

12-15-2007, 04:12 AM	#17
makemepretty YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Middleville Posts: 933	Same thing happened here, we had the name Lola picked out and then my sil got pregnant and announced they were very much considering the name Lola. They had no idea I had chosen that for our puppy(that's according to them). I asked my brother if he was ok with me still naming my puppy that and he said to go ahead(I didn't bother asking her I used the reasoning that even if the puppy and my niece had the same name that she'd find it cool, not be offended. There are people out there with the same name, we have two Mikes just in our family. Anyhoo, I have my Lola and my niece was named Tru. So I'm very glad I didn't pick another name because then no one would have used it. __________________ http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=369717

12-15-2007, 04:28 AM	#18
Yorkie3 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,686	You should name her Bella anyway. Your SIL may never have a girl. Sound like she could be a controlling person. __________________ Janet

12-15-2007, 04:49 AM	#19
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	hey, name her what you want!! it's not like her future daughter (if she is so blessed to have one some day) will be the only bella in class. I know several of them __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

12-15-2007, 04:54 AM	#20
txrosegirl owned by my monkeys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: far north dallas, texas Posts: 1,866	thanks guys!!! the support here (and the honest opinions) are wonderful and like a breath of fresh air!! __________________ lyn ~ miss buffey, sir bentley and baby bree ~ RIP sweet gino - mommy will always love you please click to give FREE food - the animal rescue site

12-15-2007, 07:48 AM	#22
alisonJ YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tucson, Arizona Posts: 1,840	Ha! There's a whole Seinfeld episode about this very thing. George decided he wanted to name his first child "Seven". He was upset when friends decided to use that name. __________________ Alison--Edith Jones's mother www.edithjonesproject.com

12-15-2007, 06:10 AM	#21
MiLeighsMoM BANNED! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Lafayette, Louisiana Posts: 562	I agree with the top post!! It would be really diffrent if she mentioned it before and you fell in love with the name.. But thats not the case and she isn't even expecting... I do understand how she feels about not wanting to share a name.. My God Daughters name is MaKayla... I wanted to name my little girl that when i had one lol.. But great mines think alike and my bestfriend named her little girl that and had no clue thats that the name i wanted .. So i have to come up with another one LOL... She will come up with something else if it bothers her that bad.. there are so many beautiful names out there... I even got told that i should have saved Mi'Leigh Brook for my first daughter... Well she is my first baby girl so.. Good luck with this issue!

12-15-2007, 08:02 AM	#23
Dior'sMom Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,900	I say go for it. BELLA! __________________ Proud Mom 2 Dior

12-15-2007, 08:03 AM	#24
zoeybear Misssing Baby Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 4,186	How old is SIL? What does Fiance' say about it? I guess I wouldn't start a war over it, but she sounds like she may be jealous. If you have a good relationship with her now, it might be worth thinking about. I think she is being unfair. __________________ We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam

12-15-2007, 08:28 AM	#25
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	I have a different take on the situation. It sounds like your Fiance's sister is a jealous. How old is she? Maybe you could try talking to her and explain to her that your this little precious furball will be YOUR daughter. And that it would consider it an honor for her to name her skindaughter the same name as your furdaughter. __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses www.foxypups.etsy.com

12-15-2007, 08:43 AM	#26
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I'd go for Bella, and if someday she has a baby she can still name it Bella if she wants. You can't have too many Bella's in the world. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

12-15-2007, 10:19 AM	#27
SarahandElisha Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 172	Why don't you consider going with Belle instead of Bella? It may suck that this could start a family war, but that's the reality. You marry your inlaws and it would be majorly sucky to be on bad terms already. It's definitely not fair, but I think that most people who are not furbutt lovers are going to side with a skin-momma, so it may be a losing battle as far as the family goes. Although the fact that she is not pregnant or committed to anyone is definitely on your side!