Eddie's twilight months

(The above pictures were all taken yesterday, 4 days after I made the decision not to put him down.)

Some of you may have read my last blog or seen my posts on Facebook, but my 14-year-old Yorkie Eddie, who led me to YT when he was a puppy, has been diagnosed with intestinal lymphoma. The prognosis is not good, but I've started off trying to keep him comfortable and extend his life with chemo. More on that later.

I'm somewhat prepared mentally because I've been watching so many of my favorite YT dogs succumb to age and disease over the past few years that I've lived through your grief and tried to prepare myself for my own. Mostly, I've spent years appreciating every aspect of Eddie's life.

I don't want to try to memorialize him on this blog -- I've celebrated all of Eddie's life with pictures and videos right here on YT, through YouTube links and on Facebook. I feel no need now to try to tell people what a great dog he is because those of you who have known us know Eddie quite well. As with all Yorkies who having loving owners to appreciate them, he's a great dog, no more and no less.

I want to talk about my mindset in opting for chemo because someday someone might read this blog who can benefit from our experience. When I was growing up, this would not have even been a consideration. I won't tell you what I spent, but Googling it will give you a range of $3k to $10k. That's a huge investment in a 14-year-old dog.

And there are no guarantees. The only timeframe the doctor has thrown out is 6 months. It could be more, and I'm praying it's more. But it could be less. He could die during this treatment, which goes on about 25 weeks.

When he initially received the diagnosis, he was in dire straights. Despite sometimes daily vet visits for a couple months, he had wasted away to skin and bones -- from 9.5 pounds 4 months ago to just under 7 pounds today. He vomited everything we tried to feed him despite the help of a nutritionist, and he had dark, sometimes bloody diarrhea. In fact, when I finally got an appointment with a traveling board certified specialist, I wasn't sure he was going to live to his 1 p.m. appointment less than a week ago. I rushed him into Pet Emergency at 6 a.m. to get him on fluids.

The vet correctly diagnosed him right away through an ultrasound and confirmed his findings with a pathologist.

I feel like I'm starting to get off point here because I'm talking about Eddie's case specifically. I want to talk about my decision to keep him alive.

So at this point, I had two choices and no one would blame me for the first -- which was to end his obvious suffering and put him down. I was prepared for that, and he would have been gone last Friday if I had.

But the vet explained that chemo likely would make him feel better. When he told me 6 months, I asked how much of that would be a quality life. He told me all 6 months. He wasn't counting any time where we'd be keeping Eddie alive when he was in pain.

Two choices: Kill my dog or heal my dog, likely temporarily at best.

I tried to put the money in perspective. I could easily spend $5K on a one-week cruise, including airfare, hotels, etc. One week $5k or 6 months with a healthy Eddie?

There was no question in my mind. This wasn't just me being selfish and not wanting to give up on my dog, or afraid to make the tough decision to end his suffering -- I could heal him.

Money was definitely part of the consideration. We're certainly not rich and are approaching retirement. We have no kids. Aside from our retirement nestegg, there's a small inheritance that could cover this. Yes, my wife and I had other plans for it, but we had the talk and decided that if we could heal Eddie and not have him in pain, we had to do it. The best part of our Yorkie family is that our dogs love me and my wife equally and us them.

Five days after making the call to start chemo, I haven't second-guessed our decision. He made a huge improvement after just his first treatment. Diarrhea ended. Vomiting ended. Appetite returned. He was doing tricks for me, for crying out loud. I saw a younger Eddie in his eyes, an Eddie who was not in pain.

I'm not trying to tell people that I made the right decision. No one could have faulted us for ending his pain right away when he was at his worst. I understand that he will likely be gone in 6 months, making the expense seem extravagant.

I think the Yorkie owners I've met on YT understand. Thanks for teaching me how to love my dog. I'm passing that on now.

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