jealousy - YorkieTalk.com Forums

newproudmom · 03-04-2009, 11:03 PM

i think my DH is jealous of charlie and I. I am spending more time with charlie..charlie is still a baby and needs my attention. I don't know. I am seriously thinking he hates charlie. He won't let me buy anything for charlie. I feel so sorry for charlie. He has almost nothing..only 3 toys, used bath towels and old shirts and his food..that is all he has..his crate was donated by my brother..argh. I am getting so frustrated with the DH. What is his problem.

Miao · 03-04-2009, 11:24 PM

If I recall correctly, wasn't Charlie your husband's gift to you? If so, it is sad that he's feeling jealousy towards him.

Husbands are like babies too (I'd say very close to being a pet as well

) so you must remember not to neglect the overgrown, oversized, over stuffed baby also. Things might turn out better if you share your time amongst the both of them as if you had two little children to train and look after.

Hope things turn out better for the both of you because a happy marriage is a happy home and that makes for a happier pet.

Mom to Hot Rod · 03-04-2009, 11:30 PM

Mine was the same way. I would and still do put Hot Rod to bed (on my lap) before putting him in his crate. I really didn't have to stay up as long as I did but I enjoyed "our time". Hubby thought I was silly to do that but then I told him that I enjoyed that time together. I don't know if he gets it or not but he doesn't bug me any more about it and now with 2 he knows better. Good luck.

BTW, Hot Rod was a gift to me.

jmdt · 03-05-2009, 09:07 AM

I believe there has to be a time of adjustment when a new member of the family arrives. Whether it's a child or a pet. Especially our little fur guys. They are too cute not to hold them all the time and cater to them. It is a life change when your normal routine is disrupted. It will get better. Just make sure the BIG baby gets plenty of attention. You know men they are needy.

celstu1 · 03-05-2009, 09:38 AM

Some men get like that and I don't understand it. Seriously you have a baby that depends on you for everything and he has a problem. Almost like they are not capable of taking care of themselves... uuugghhh

I am blessed with a bf who has no problems with my boys and all the attention they get (they are not babies either, 3.5 years old! LOL) My Dexter is permanently in my arms when I am home. BF laughs about it. He will look at Dex and say "Ok, get down, out of moms arms." Dex just puts his head on my shoulder and nestles in. BF shakes his head and smiles!

newproudmom · 03-05-2009, 03:54 PM

yes he got charlie for me as a christmas gift. I don't understand it at all. He won't even let me take charlie to the vet, groomer, etc. Almost didn't let me take charlie to petco to get his shots. He tells me he will just do it himself. hell no! he doesn't even know what he is doing. argh. I give him all my attention too but it is frustrating when it comes to charlie. He even threaten to get rid of charlie. He won't even let charlie near any of our things like the bed, inside our room, etc. Charlie can't even sleep in our room, he has to sleep in the living room. One time Charlie was barking in the morning and i carry his crate into our room..the DH got up and took the crate and put charlie outside the house. I had to carry him back inside and put him in the living room. If charlie touches our blanket he will yell at me and charlie..he won't even let me put charlie's comb on his computer chair for even a minute. ARgh. sometimes, i wonder why he got charlie in the first place if he is going to act like a jerk. charlie could have gone to a better home. I am at the point where I feel like I have to choose..charlie or DH..I feel bad but I choose charlie.

amandawash · 03-05-2009, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newproudmom

yes he got charlie for me as a christmas gift. I don't understand it at all. He won't even let me take charlie to the vet, groomer, etc. Almost didn't let me take charlie to petco to get his shots. He tells me he will just do it himself. hell no! he doesn't even know what he is doing. argh. I give him all my attention too but it is frustrating when it comes to charlie. He even threaten to get rid of charlie. He won't even let charlie near any of our things like the bed, inside our room, etc. Charlie can't even sleep in our room, he has to sleep in the living room. One time Charlie was barking in the morning and i carry his crate into our room..the DH got up and took the crate and put charlie outside the house. I had to carry him back inside and put him in the living room. If charlie touches our blanket he will yell at me and charlie..he won't even let me put charlie's comb on his computer chair for even a minute. ARgh. sometimes, i wonder why he got charlie in the first place if he is going to act like a jerk. charlie could have gone to a better home. I am at the point where I feel like I have to choose..charlie or DH..I feel bad but I choose charlie.

Wow. That sounds seriously scary. Is there something else going on with you guys that is making him resent the puppy? You don't have to answer that on here but maybe something to think about? Yikes- I am sorry but this sounds like more than jealousy to me...

Miao · 03-05-2009, 04:42 PM

I would hate to advocate separation/divorce because it's really none of my business. But if I were in your place, I would leave him in a heartbeat. He sounds like he has issues beyond that of a slightly disgruntled husband. I'd be afraid for my pet, children, and myself as there is always the possibility of a man like what you have described, resort to violence at some future date. Heck, I couldn't forgive my sister's ex-husband who had resorted to violence when he snapped (previously, he had never once raised his hand against her or his past gf no matter how much they fought verbally) as he found out his wife was contemplating divorce for what I felt was very shallow and immature reasons on her part, but that's no excuse for what he did. I had even felt sorry for him up until then. I had taken her straight to the police station to file her report and left it up to her whether or not to press charges as, after all, he was still the father of her children. As you can see, I do not have a very forgiving nature.

It is fortunate that you do not have children yet to bind you to him any more than you already are. Only you know your situation best and whether or not you can trust your life and Charlie's to be around that kind of person. I hope you are strong and brave enough to take hold of yours and your little one's life and make a decision best suited for the both of you. Also, if you are financially independent, it makes decisions a lot less complicated.

Again, I totally agree with you about how he shouldn't have gotten Charlie for you if he had to be a "jerk" about it. I wish you all the luck in the world in getting through to your DH or somehow figuring out a solution to the problem.

newproudmom · 03-05-2009, 05:09 PM

Our relationship seems fine until charlie came into the picture. Yes, I am afraid to have children with him. I just feel bad for my furbaby. I love him so much and want the best for him. I can't do that with the DH around. I feel that if the DH wasn't around, I would be able to give charlie the best of the best. His mom is almost the same. ARGH! I am so frustrated!

03-04-2009, 11:03 PM	#1
newproudmom YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: banning, ca Posts: 435	jealousy i think my DH is jealous of charlie and I. I am spending more time with charlie..charlie is still a baby and needs my attention. I don't know. I am seriously thinking he hates charlie. He won't let me buy anything for charlie. I feel so sorry for charlie. He has almost nothing..only 3 toys, used bath towels and old shirts and his food..that is all he has..his crate was donated by my brother..argh. I am getting so frustrated with the DH. What is his problem.

03-04-2009, 11:30 PM	#3
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	Mine was the same way. I would and still do put Hot Rod to bed (on my lap) before putting him in his crate. I really didn't have to stay up as long as I did but I enjoyed "our time". Hubby thought I was silly to do that but then I told him that I enjoyed that time together. I don't know if he gets it or not but he doesn't bug me any more about it and now with 2 he knows better. Good luck. BTW, Hot Rod was a gift to me. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10

03-05-2009, 09:07 AM	#4
jmdt YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Long Island, NY USA Posts: 3,498	I believe there has to be a time of adjustment when a new member of the family arrives. Whether it's a child or a pet. Especially our little fur guys. They are too cute not to hold them all the time and cater to them. It is a life change when your normal routine is disrupted. It will get better. Just make sure the BIG baby gets plenty of attention. You know men they are needy. __________________ Coco, Pebbles, Trixie, and Wally LOVE MY BABIES!!

03-05-2009, 09:38 AM	#5
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	Some men get like that and I don't understand it. Seriously you have a baby that depends on you for everything and he has a problem. Almost like they are not capable of taking care of themselves... uuugghhh I am blessed with a bf who has no problems with my boys and all the attention they get (they are not babies either, 3.5 years old! LOL) My Dexter is permanently in my arms when I am home. BF laughs about it. He will look at Dex and say "Ok, get down, out of moms arms." Dex just puts his head on my shoulder and nestles in. BF shakes his head and smiles! __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

03-04-2009, 11:24 PM	#2
Miao No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Savage Garden Posts: 1,147	If I recall correctly, wasn't Charlie your husband's gift to you? If so, it is sad that he's feeling jealousy towards him. Husbands are like babies too (I'd say very close to being a pet as well ) so you must remember not to neglect the overgrown, oversized, over stuffed baby also. Things might turn out better if you share your time amongst the both of them as if you had two little children to train and look after. Hope things turn out better for the both of you because a happy marriage is a happy home and that makes for a happier pet.

03-05-2009, 03:54 PM	#6
newproudmom YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: banning, ca Posts: 435	yes he got charlie for me as a christmas gift. I don't understand it at all. He won't even let me take charlie to the vet, groomer, etc. Almost didn't let me take charlie to petco to get his shots. He tells me he will just do it himself. hell no! he doesn't even know what he is doing. argh. I give him all my attention too but it is frustrating when it comes to charlie. He even threaten to get rid of charlie. He won't even let charlie near any of our things like the bed, inside our room, etc. Charlie can't even sleep in our room, he has to sleep in the living room. One time Charlie was barking in the morning and i carry his crate into our room..the DH got up and took the crate and put charlie outside the house. I had to carry him back inside and put him in the living room. If charlie touches our blanket he will yell at me and charlie..he won't even let me put charlie's comb on his computer chair for even a minute. ARgh. sometimes, i wonder why he got charlie in the first place if he is going to act like a jerk. charlie could have gone to a better home. I am at the point where I feel like I have to choose..charlie or DH..I feel bad but I choose charlie.

03-05-2009, 04:42 PM	#8
Miao No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Savage Garden Posts: 1,147	I would hate to advocate separation/divorce because it's really none of my business. But if I were in your place, I would leave him in a heartbeat. He sounds like he has issues beyond that of a slightly disgruntled husband. I'd be afraid for my pet, children, and myself as there is always the possibility of a man like what you have described, resort to violence at some future date. Heck, I couldn't forgive my sister's ex-husband who had resorted to violence when he snapped (previously, he had never once raised his hand against her or his past gf no matter how much they fought verbally) as he found out his wife was contemplating divorce for what I felt was very shallow and immature reasons on her part, but that's no excuse for what he did. I had even felt sorry for him up until then. I had taken her straight to the police station to file her report and left it up to her whether or not to press charges as, after all, he was still the father of her children. As you can see, I do not have a very forgiving nature. It is fortunate that you do not have children yet to bind you to him any more than you already are. Only you know your situation best and whether or not you can trust your life and Charlie's to be around that kind of person. I hope you are strong and brave enough to take hold of yours and your little one's life and make a decision best suited for the both of you. Also, if you are financially independent, it makes decisions a lot less complicated. Again, I totally agree with you about how he shouldn't have gotten Charlie for you if he had to be a "jerk" about it. I wish you all the luck in the world in getting through to your DH or somehow figuring out a solution to the problem.

03-05-2009, 05:09 PM	#9
newproudmom YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: banning, ca Posts: 435	Our relationship seems fine until charlie came into the picture. Yes, I am afraid to have children with him. I just feel bad for my furbaby. I love him so much and want the best for him. I can't do that with the DH around. I feel that if the DH wasn't around, I would be able to give charlie the best of the best. His mom is almost the same. ARGH! I am so frustrated!