I would hate to advocate separation/divorce because it's really none of my business. But if I were in your place, I would leave him in a heartbeat. He sounds like he has issues beyond that of a slightly disgruntled husband. I'd be afraid for my pet, children, and myself as there is always the possibility of a man like what you have described, resort to violence at some future date. Heck, I couldn't forgive my sister's ex-husband who had resorted to violence when he snapped (previously, he had never once raised his hand against her or his past gf no matter how much they fought verbally) as he found out his wife was contemplating divorce for what I felt was very shallow and immature reasons on her part, but that's no excuse for what he did. I had even felt sorry for him up until then. I had taken her straight to the police station to file her report and left it up to her whether or not to press charges as, after all, he was still the father of her children. As you can see, I do not have a very forgiving nature.
It is fortunate that you do not have children yet to bind you to him any more than you already are. Only you know your situation best and whether or not you can trust your life and Charlie's to be around that kind of person. I hope you are strong and brave enough to take hold of yours and your little one's life and make a decision best suited for the both of you. Also, if you are financially independent, it makes decisions a lot less complicated.
Again, I totally agree with you about how he shouldn't have gotten Charlie for you if he had to be a "jerk" about it. I wish you all the luck in the world in getting through to your DH or somehow figuring out a solution to the problem.
