Just wondering if anyone else has been in my shoes.....

[Cocoa's Momma]

Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

[KathyinCali]

Thomas had a "no pet-no children" motto when I met him. When the relationship turned serious and he asked me to marry him he knew my two cats came with the bargain. He comrpomised without it ever being brought up.

When I decided to get Lucy I called him to tell him I was going to pick her up and he said "you know the rule" and I said, "you knew how difficult I am when you married me". He met me at the breeders and has loved her every bit as much as I do from the day she came home.

It truly was a compromise for him and I think it is what makes our marriage strong. We both compromise on what we can because we want each other to be happy. He knows how much joy she brings me (and him also) and that makes him happy. "No pets" is one compromise I could never make and I'm glad I didn't have to choose because I wouldn't be with Thomas today were that the case. That's just me...

Best of luck in your decision

[Izzy Princess]

Please don't take my comments the wrong way - I'm sure you will work it out for the best for all of you. You don't owe anyone an explanation but since you posted I guess you will get all types of responses. But since you got your doggies 3 years after you met him then you knew about his allergies, right? If you knew that why did you get them? I guess that's the part that I don't understand.

[Cocoa's Momma]

I said allergies in a general way...he is always sniffing and sneezing but, hasn't been "diagnosed" with pet allergies. Just didn't want ppl jumping down my throat b/c he just doesn't like pets in the house. I guess unlike most of you I grow up with no pets in the house so, I can see where he is coming from.

[celstu1]

My bf & I were together for 9 years with no pets, although I am a MAJOR animal lover and he is not, plus he has allergies too. After 9 years I BEGGED for a dog. We got our first yorkie. My boyfriend decided after that he didnt want to get married and have kids, the dog made him realize how much work and responsibility a family would be. We broke up.... after I was able to look back on the relationship, I realized that its a LONG life to live when you cannot EVER have what you want (pets, dogs specifically) bc someone else feels the need to control you in that aspect by saying they don't like them. (its taking control over your life that he is doing)

Thats all I'll say...... good luck with your decision!

[chachi]

I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. I hope it works out for you

[Nikki+2]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

I understand what you're saying. My dogs are my babies but I would not put them ahead of my husband. But... one of the reasons I think my husband rocks is that he would never ask me to.

For example, if my husband were diagnosed with yorkie allergies I would not hesitate to find my babies a new home. It would break my heart but it would break my heart more to know my hubby had to stay medicated because of a decision I made. On the other hand, my hubby would probably try to talk me into keeping them because he wouldn't want to see me sad. The end result would be they'd go but not because my husband made me but because I love my husband and I know he loves me and would put my happiness above his (although I wouldn't let him. ).

I think you are very smart to think about these things and get them worked out ahead of time. IMO it makes no difference that you got your dogs after knowing how your BF feels about them because you are not married and you are not living together. You can't make life decisions based on what ifs. You are a single girl and have every right to buy dogs if you want them.

[MyFairLacy]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

The dogs may not be your life, but you have to remember that YOU are THEIR whole life. It's just not fair to the dogs for you to have them for 4-5 years and then get rid of them like that. They love you, depend on you...like I said - you are their world. I think you'll miss having pets once you can't have them anymore. I sure couldn't live without them

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

I understand what you're saying. My dogs are my babies but I would not put them ahead of my husband. But... one of the reasons I think my husband rocks is that he would never ask me to.

For example, if my husband were diagnosed with yorkie allergies I would not hesitate to find my babies a new home. It would break my heart but it would break my heart more to know my hubby had to stay medicated because of a decision I made. On the other hand, my hubby would probably try to talk me into keeping them because he wouldn't want to see me sad. The end result would be they'd go but not because my husband made me but because I love my husband and I know he loves me and would put my happiness above his (although I wouldn't let him. ).

I think you are very smart to think about these things and get them worked out ahead of time. IMO it makes no difference that you got your dogs after knowing how your BF feels about them because you are not married and you are not living together. You can't make life decisions based on what ifs. You are a single girl and have every right to buy dogs if you want them.

Thank you so much you are one of the few that have given me advice without being judgemental. I will work something out that will not hurt Kevin nor my babies. I will prob. just keep them and not get anymore after them. I love dogs and enjoy having the ones I have but, could live with not getting more after them.

[YorkieShadow]

Originally Posted by MyFairLacy

The dogs may not be your life, but you have to remember that YOU are THEIR whole life. It's just not fair to the dogs for you to have them for 4-5 years and then get rid of them like that. They love you, depend on you...like I said - you are their world. I think you'll miss having pets once you can't have them anymore. I sure couldn't live without them

I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

[Nikki+2]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Thank you so much you are one of the few that have given me advice without being judgemental. I will work something out that will not hurt Kevin nor my babies. I will prob. just keep them and not get anymore after them. I love dogs and enjoy having the ones I have but, could live with not getting more after them.

LOL, I'm glad you could follow it. I just re-read my post and it made my head spin. I don't usually talk in such circles. Good luck- I'm sure you will have a great future together since y'all try to work things out before they are a huge issue.

[Mybabyboymax]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

dont be sorry you asked for advice that is what YT is here for! To help each other and answer each others questions we do have to realize that when you ask a group of people for advice and their opinion you will sometimes get responses you dont agree with. Im sure all the responses you received were not meant to be hurtful just peoples honest opinions

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

LOL, I'm glad you could follow it. I just re-read my post and it made my head spin. I don't usually talk in such circles. Good luck- I'm sure you will have a great future together since y'all try to work things out before they are a huge issue.

Thank you! I'm sure its hard for some to believe but, Kevin is a wonderful guy even though he doesn't love dogs indoors. He would NEVER be mean to one he is very sweet to mine he just would rather not live with any. I can respect that and understand where he is coming from; my dad is the same way and my step dad too. My mom has learned to deal with Cocoa and Daisy but, doesn't love me having them either. Esp. Cocoa; he is one only a mother could love lol. He, like all Yorkies I'm sure, can be very hyper and that annoys some people and I don't get angry with them or become judgmental. Some people just aren't dog people and that doesn't mean they are bad people or any less than those of us who do like dogs. I think the best compromise for us is to put off marriage for awhile and me not get anymore dogs after Cocoa and Daisy. Just because that will be fine with me doesn't make me a bad person or suggest I don't take care of them. Trust me, they are spoiled rotten and given the best care. I just believe my husband should come first and we can meet in the middle by me getting a large dog for outdoors or something. This whole post isn't meant for you but, just trying to clarify things. Once again, thanks!

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Mybabyboymax

dont be sorry you asked for advice that is what YT is here for! To help each other and answer each others questions we do have to realize that when you ask a group of people for advice and their opinion you will sometimes get responses you dont agree with. Im sure all the responses you received were not meant to be hurtful just peoples honest opinions

Yes, I do realize that but, I get defensive and hurt when people try to discourage a relationship they know nothing about. Ya know? I just asked if anyone else had a similar situation and if so how did they compromise.