Just wondering if anyone else has been in my shoes.....

[Monday]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

Who's attacking? just because I gave my opinion does not mean Im attacking. what do you want us to lie and say yes do what your BF wants Thats the best way. Like I said before I would not have a man who does not love animals as I do. If you do then thats your choice. sorry your not going to hear every thing that you want to hear. But you knew that before you posted thats why you said dont put my BF down or what ever it was you said.

It is NOT a good situation IF you really love your dogs ...
and be real, a leopard does not change its spots ...

I do not think you really want opinions ... as you said, you only want to know if people have been in your situation...

you simply should have taken a plebiscite vote then ...

you are a grown-up, make a decision, but please be fair to the dogs ...
I agree with YorkieShadow

[YorkieShadow]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

No, I want people to reply that have been in my shoes not those who say "I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't ask should I stay with Kevin or not I asked for advice from those that have been in my situation.

Okay so Ill do it your way, But it still ends up meaning the same thing and thats what you dont like.


Answer No I have never been in your shoes. why? because I would not be with anyone who was not a animal lover as I am.

Its still not what you are wanting to hear.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

Okay so Ill do it your way, But it still ends up meaning the same thing and thats what you dont like.


Answer No I have never been in your shoes. why? because I would not be with anyone who was not a animal lover as I am.

Its still not what you are wanting to hear.

I haven't always been a dog person either and when Kevin and I met I didn't have my dogs and had no desire to get one. I didn't get them until 3 years after we met so, it wasn't that I had dogs and met Kevin and knew he didn't like them and dated anyway.

[Keno]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

No, I wanted advice from people who have actually been in my shoes and had to come to a mutual decision about their dogs. A lot of people that have posted just wanted to share their opinion on "if I had a bf that didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't want to know what would you do but, what have you done. Ya know what I'm trying to say?

no, you did not make that very clear ... I was in your situation and I made a choice.
That is what you need to do.
Not to be devious and manipulative to "convince" him ... that is not right!!!

are you a "dog" person now??? which is it?

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Keno

no, you did not make that very clear ... I was in your situation and I made a choice.
That is what you need to do.
Not to be devious and manipulative to "convince" him ... that is not right!!!

are you a "dog" person now??? which is it?

I don't think I understand what you are trying to say....you are saying don't try to convince him?

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Keno

no, you did not make that very clear ... I was in your situation and I made a choice.
That is what you need to do.
Not to be devious and manipulative to "convince" him ... that is not right!!!

are you a "dog" person now??? which is it?

I didn't see your last question until now. I don't know what a dog person is defined as....yes, I love my dogs but, after them I will be fine with not getting anymore dogs.

[YorkieShadow]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

I haven't always been a dog person either and when Kevin and I met I didn't have my dogs and had no desire to get one. I didn't get them until 3 years after we met so, it wasn't that I had dogs and met Kevin and knew he didn't like them and dated anyway.

well thats even worse, by three years you should of known his likes and dislikes. and if you did know then why would you go out and get what 3 dogs? in hoping to one day marry him knowing he dose not like dogs?
This is something you and him are going to have to work out. members here are not going to be able to make that choice for you, you have to.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by YorkieShadow

well thats even worse, by three years you should of known his likes and dislikes. and if you did know then why would you go out and get what 3 dogs? in hoping to one day marry him knowing he dose not like dogs?
This is something you and him are going to have to work out. members here are not going to be able to make that choice for you, you have to.

OMG! I didn't mean to start a debate. Ok, even though I shouldn't have to I'm going to defend myself. I have 2 dogs and yes I knew he disliked dogs but, I got Cocoa and he was fine with that and then I started volunteering at my local shelter and Daisy was going to be put to sleep so, I adopted her. He did get angry that I now I have 2 dogs to bring into a marriage. I know its something he and I will have to workout and we will. I didn't ask for members to make that choice for me? Did I? You can read back and see if I asked that. I simply asked if anyone has been in my shoes NOT what are your opinions on this topic and please "dog" me and my boyfriend. I wanted to know if someone was in a similar situation and how they worked it out. I just wanted to see if someone could relate to me. I didn't mean to turn everyone against me and think badly of me.

[pea496]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Yes, I do realize that but, I get defensive and hurt when people try to discourage a relationship they know nothing about. Ya know? I just asked if anyone else had a similar situation and if so how did they compromise.

No...

[Keno]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

OMG! I didn't mean to start a debate. Ok, even though I shouldn't have to I'm going to defend myself. I have 2 dogs and yes I knew he disliked dogs but, I got Cocoa and he was fine with that and then I started volunteering at my local shelter and Daisy was going to be put to sleep so, I adopted her. He did get angry that I now I have 2 dogs to bring into a marriage. I know its something he and I will have to workout and we will. I didn't ask for members to make that choice for me? Did I? You can read back and see if I asked that. I simply asked if anyone has been in my shoes NOT what are your opinions on this topic and please "dog" me and my boyfriend. I wanted to know if someone was in a similar situation and how they worked it out. I just wanted to see if someone could relate to me. I didn't mean to turn everyone against me and think badly of me.

I answered you, told you I had been in the same situation and I made a decision ... you did not ask me what that decision was, you merely asked me if I thought you should or should not try to "convince" him.

It is going to be one of two scenarios ...

1- you wimp out and give up the dogs and perhaps regret it
2- he will be "convinced" by you and give in, and perhaps he will regret it ..

make a decision and see what he does ... but stand by your convictions .. you do have some, yes???? You have 3 dogs....
what is the alternative? Make them backyard dogs, give them away, what will you do???

[YorkieRose]

I have never found even a simple friendship worked with any one if they did not accept my dogs..they didn't have to act like a fool over them, but all my close friends love dogs as much or even more then myself...I know this is very prejustice on my part, but if a person does not love and respect a dog, it makes me distrustful of them..silly I know. A companion dog bestows tremendous love and devotion upon the humans in their life, rejecting this devotion makes me leery, no one can have too much love in their life.....like I said..silly of me.

[yorkiesmiles]

Originally Posted by Cocoa's Momma

Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

It sounds like you are talking about waiting 5 years to marry Kevin -- that sounds like a lot of time for things to change. Why are you deciding this now?

I can see if either of you are contemplating ending this relationship based off this decision. But it sounds like you are already willing to give up your dogs for this man.

If I were you, I would be looking at what else might I have to give up with this man. Will there be other demands or choices?

You're young, it's hard to see what you will want 10, 20 yrs from now - what happens when you feel the need for a dog again -- because I'm assuming you felt this at one time or you would not have made the big investment of taking on 2 yorkies.

I couldn't have been with a man that didn't want dogs at some point when I was your age -- but I lived in a sorority house & never had pets that weren't part of my parent's home until I was married. While I have had years where I did not have a dog, there has always been at least one cat in the house in absence of a dog -- I just couldn't be with a man who didn't recognize and appreciate my desire to share my life with a four-legged bundle of joy.

I'm sorry you are in this position

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by Keno

I answered you, told you I had been in the same situation and I made a decision ... you did not ask me what that decision was, you merely asked me if I thought you should or should not try to "convince" him.

It is going to be one of two scenarios ...

1- you wimp out and give up the dogs and perhaps regret it
2- he will be "convinced" by you and give in, and perhaps he will regret it ..

make a decision and see what he does ... but stand by your convictions .. you do have some, yes???? You have 3 dogs....
what is the alternative? Make them backyard dogs, give them away, what will you do???

What I believe we will do is I will keep my dogs and just not getting anymore after that. Which is totally fine by me. I wouldn't make them backyard dogs they are are too small for that and not outdoor dogs. I have 2 dogs.

[spr377]

Originally Posted by YorkieRose

I have never found even a simple friendship worked with any one if they did not accept my dogs..they didn't have to act like a fool over them, but all my close friends love dogs as much or even more then myself...I know this is very prejustice on my part, but if a person does not love and respect a dog, it makes me distrustful of them..silly I know. A companion dog bestows tremendous love and devotion upon the humans in their life, rejecting this devotion makes me leery, no one can have too much love in their life.....like I said..silly of me.

Well said, and I agree.

[Cocoa's Momma]

Originally Posted by YorkieRose

I have never found even a simple friendship worked with any one if they did not accept my dogs..they didn't have to act like a fool over them, but all my close friends love dogs as much or even more then myself...I know this is very prejustice on my part, but if a person does not love and respect a dog, it makes me distrustful of them..silly I know. A companion dog bestows tremendous love and devotion upon the humans in their life, rejecting this devotion makes me leery, no one can have too much love in their life.....like I said..silly of me.

I don't belittle anyone for not liking dogs. Just like I don't belittle someone for being gay or straight, a democrat or republican, loves kids or doesn't like kids, etc. I also don't not be friends with someone just because they don't like my dogs. Like I've said before my dogs are important to me but, not more important than human relations.