Rosie is resting peacefully in Heaven now.

[Carmeow]

I don't even know how to start this.

On Saturday night my fiance and I came home from being out around 10pm. Luma greeted us at the door but Rosie did not. We stupidly didn't even think to check on her because this was normal at night time for her to stay in her bed sleepy. We watched a movie on the couch and the girls were sleeping in bed beside the couch. A little later I wanted to hold her so I asked Tony to get her. He told me to come look at how she was sleeping. She was laying on her side but her neck was bent strangely and her head was off to the side...I knew immediately something was wrong so I tried to wake her up. She wasn't moving, so I picked her up and set her on the couch. She was still holding her head bent to the side like she couldn't control herself. I checked her gums. They were deathly white. I sent Tony to get the Karo syrup and he couldn't find it. She wasn't responding. (I later found out she was probably comatose at this point.) I grabbed a syringe and forced some gatorade into her (I had been drinking it so it was close.) We ran to the car and rushed to A&M Small Animal Hospital and I called to tell them we were coming. Signed the papers and they took her, hooked her up and started bloodwork and some kind of fluids to get her blood glucose up.

They came in to update us that she wasn't responding to the amount they gave her and so they'd upped it. Then we found out that her blood glucose was so low that it was literally unreadable. They were also very concerned about her electrolytes. They did tell us that her ammonia level didn't indicate a shunt. I took that as good news. She stayed overnight and we went home. We never got to see her after we had signed her papers. I went to bed around 2am praying and convincing myself that in the morning, her numbers would be up and she would come home, just like that.

Around 7am they called and Tony answered. They said her glucose was up and back to normal, but she wouldn't eat and she had black stool which they said could be internal bleeding. Asked us if as far as we knew, had she had any injury. No...we never saw her fall or get hurt. She was such a good girl about using her stairs to the bed and couch. The vet was coming to examine her so I had to wait for more info.

I called around 9....they said she was becoming unresponsive. Her glucose was fine but her blood level was plummeting. They asked me to wait for them to call back. I was very worried. I called back at 9:30 and begged to talk to the vet....as soon as she came on she sighed and asked if I had a moment to talk. She said "Rosie is a very, very sick dog." They said her condition was now "Multifocal Neurological". 4 points of her brain were not functioning. She told me that she believed she was internally bleeding into her gastrointestinal tract. That something was wrong with her spine as well. Couldn't respond to any of the vets. She said we needed to talk about where to go from here....they needed to do an MRI and an xray, and much more testing. Even then, they didn't know how much longer she would have. She told me to begin thinking about the possibility of euthanasia.

So...I was sobbing and completely broken down at this point. I was panicked, but I knew I had to get there and see her asap. I couldn't believe she was THIS sick. The cost of the testing was quoted at 4-6 thousand dollars just as a starting place. The overnight stay was going to be around $800 per night for who knows how long. We had savings for the dogs, but not that much. She had insurance. There were payment plans. I wanted to make it work no matter what but my heart told me she was too sick to continue. I thought maybe we could turn her over to rescue. I contacted Ladyjane of YHR on some off chance maybe we could save her life.

When we got to the hospital we had to wait a very long time. I had such bad anxiety that I ran to the restroom to vomit. I stayed in there crying and when I came out Tony was holding Rosie. Her neck had a thick brace around it. She was so frail. Her eyes were glazed over. I held her and she was totally limp, shaking, groaning little groans of pain. Linda called me back and we spoke about her chances. She was so kind, I knew she wanted to help, and she even asked to speak to our vet...she thought Rosie had a form of hydrocephalus. The vet did agree and told us this is incurable. As you all know, the smaller yorkies are sometimes born with bad congenital diseases. Rosie was not the runt, I knew the little ones often had short, sick lives. I never wanted that. She never kept her weight and she was always quiet, timid, never really played. We just thought "that's just how Rosie is." I feel like such an idiot for not realizing she had probably been trying very hard to hide her pain and sickness for a long time...

Anyway, we spoke to Linda, the vet, and between ourselves...Rosie was in a LOT of pain. She was very deathly ill. We decided she did not deserve to suffer any longer. We had a long, long time with her alone. During that time...we cried, talked to her, told her everything we ever could tell her about what she meant to us, kissed her, and she looked us right in the eyes. She was unresponsive off and on for the vets, but for us she knew we were there for her. We whispered such sweet things to her and really cherished our last moments with her. We let them know we were ready to let her go. Unfortunately 2 dogs came in as emergencies and we had to wait. A LONG time. I became so sick from anxiety as minutes dragged on. I didn't want to let her go of course...but we knew it was right...and then we became so desperate for the vet to come and help Rosie not suffer anymore. I didnt want her to hurt for even a second longer. It was so hard. But those extra minutes gave us a few more kisses. She had fought hard. We told her it's okay now. It's time to go to sleep. Rosie was going to go sleepy and not hurt anymore. We cried so hard. She tucked her head into my arm after that and stayed quiet until they came in. I held her in my lap with a pad under her. My hand was around her chest with my palm pressed right up against her heartbeat. I felt her heartbeat slow and she passed. They left us alone and we stayed with her for a while more...crying and petting her...and then we moved her to the table. There was a 2nd pad folded up and we rest her head on it like a pillow. She was wrapped up in the pad and we tucked her in like it was a blanket. I made sure to put her paws above the blanket because she would always twitch them in her sleep. We took her topknot out and I kept her scrunchie around my wrist, I kissed her goodbye and we left.

This is heartbreaking. Leaving her in that room was the hardest part. For the situation...how horrible it was...she went so peacefully. I am forever grateful that she went peacefully. She had fought for such a very long time and we told her to go to sleep, and she did. She is an angel. We talked last night and my fiance who has been Agnostic his entire life said through tears....Heaven has to exist. If anyone has ever deserved to go to Heaven, it's Rosie. We know she is an angel watching over us now. She was the most innocent creature. Everyone who knew her was in love with her. She was so sweet, quiet, loving, she tried so hard to be a normal dog. We have a lot of guilt right now. Tony missed her 2nd feeding that night. The vet said at this age she should have been okay. They told us that these symptoms sometimes don't show themselves until something bad sets them off. She had congenital diseases that we didn't know were hurting her. I feel like a terrible parent. You may ask didn't she seem sick? Didn't she act off? There were little signs, her eyes were pretty profound, a sign of hydrocephalus. She would sometimes arch her back or pick her back legs up off the ground when scared. Maybe we were in denial. I promise if we had thought she was physically hurting we would've gotten her checked out. When she was spayed at 8 months her blood panel was normal. At her 1 yr checkup her panel was normal. We wish we could have saved her from her suffering sooner, but we were there for her at the very end and we helped her go to sleep.

Rosie was small. We would joke that we had 1.5 dogs instead of 2. That sounds so terrible....we didn't mean any of it though. Yes, she was small. But she was SO fierce. She was MORE brave than Luma! Luma, 3x her size!! Luma is a coward...but Rosie was always brave. Always a fighter. She had a deeper bark than Luma's. She loved being outdoors. Outside, she seemed more normal. She ran after her sister and was friendly to every dog and human she met. She didn't know her size. Didn't act her size. Didn't let her illnesses slow her down. She took up more room in the bed than Luma. When we were gone she would sleep in the very center of the entire bed and you could see a little indent in the blanket. She loved to dip her paws in her water bowl and mess up her face. Miss messyface. She had stinky breath but loved to kiss us. She'd run around with her tongue hanging out. Rosie taught Luma to not be so grumpy and how to play with another dog. She taught me so much about patience, unconditional love, and selflessness. And she helped her Daddy believe in Heaven. She was so, so pretty...lovely...perfect...and now she is whole, healed, strong and happy. Playing like a real dog at the Rainbow Bridge. We love her so much. For a 3 lb dog she made such a GIANT place in our hearts. Mommy, Daddy and big sissie Luma love Rosie forever and ever. And we can't wait to hold her again.

[107barney]

I'm so sorry for your loss. You definitely will have the whole forum crying. Your post is very sad yet beautiful and it's clear you loved Rosie so much. I'm sorry for your loss....I'm glad you had the comfort of Linda, the vets, and each other to carry you through the last moments with Rosie. RIP sweet Rosie.

[MauiGirl]

I am so deeply deeply saddened by your sudden loss of Rosie. Thank you for sharing her short little life with us on Yorkie Talk, Carmen, we all love her too.

My heart aches for you and Tony and Luma, and I'm praying for comfort and healing for you all.

Many hugs to you, and wish there was more I could do.

Rest in Peace sweet Rosie.

[intilis]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of sweet little Rosie. It was clear that she was loved so much! Please remember that you gave her a wonderful life for the short time she was with you. Praying for comfort & strength for you in this difficult time.

[joyce evans]

I am so sorry to hear about baby girl Rosie. You and Tony did everything you could to save her but God needs her more. You may not know why right now but someday you will. I will be praying for you and your family to heal with peace in your heart.

Rest in sweet peace Rosie.

[dottiesyrky]

How hard it must have been to write this sad account of your last moments with dear little Rosie. I was in tears and felt for you every minute. We who have lost a pet remember the misery and pain, and we understand how devastated you feel.
You loved her and let her go to heaven in your arms, she is at peace now. So very sorry. Rest in peace sweet Rosie and one day you will meet again. So sad.

[katy-yorkie]

Oh Carmen, my heart is breaking for you. You certainly had a precious little girl. I am so sorry for the loss of Rosie...she is free of pain and will know that you loved her very much. RIP little girl.

[matese]

So very sorry for your loss of your lil Rosie. I feel your pain, I had to put my lil girl down several months ago, I know the pain, but she is now whole, pain free, and running free waiting for you at Rainbow bridge. Keeping you all in my prayers at this difficult time.(((hugs)))

[megansmomma]

Heartbreaking....I am so sorry

[Cherie6446]

So very sad. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that she was truly loved.

[Verbena]

Big hugs to you, Tony and Luma.You did the most loving thing to do for someone you love. She is at peace now. But always with you . . Rest in Peace Little Rosie

[horsnaround]

She had a wonderful home with such love Sending hugs and prayers for you all.

[Lil Sis]

Oh I am so sorry. I can't stop crying ...I just had to send you a hug. So sorry

[Lovetodream88]

I am so sorry.

[Maximo]

Carmen, I am very sorry for your heartbreaking loss of your beautiful Rosie girl. She left this world knowing how much you and Tony loved her.

Hugs to you Carmen. Praying for the happy memories of Rosie to give you comfort.

Rest in peace, sweet Rosie.