I took a hiatus....

[brittanylayne]

I was relatively active here a while back, but had my account deactivated, thinking I wouldn't be back. Right after I had it deactivated, I had a question and ended up creating another account. Obviously, I didn't think it through before doing it. lol

I doubt if anyone remembers me, but I was kataliadre.

We've had a bit of a hard time since I was here last. I'm part of a rescue group and although we had 5 dogs, there was a dog that needed a home. She was injured and had been abused, so I took her in as a foster until they could find a permanent place for her. She wasn't a yorkie... we're not sure what she was. But she was bigger than our red/blue heeler.

Her pelvis and back leg were fractured from being run over. But she didn't seem scared of humans, which surprised me. We tried to make her happier than she had ever been. When they brought her to me they told me that the vet didn't start her shots (and it was doubtful that she had any, considering how her original owners mistreated her) because of her injuries. My dogs are up to date on their shots, so I figured I'd go ahead and keep her and we'd start shots as soon as the vet was willing.

Long story short, she got sick and at first I thought it was a bug that my littlest one had the week before. I took her to the vet and they ran tests and she was fine, it was just a little bug, and it passed. So when Izzy (our foster) showed the same symptoms, I just babied her and cuddled with her, figuring it would pass too. She didn't get better,though, she just got worse. So we took her to the vet. She had parvo and distemper. The vet seemed to want to put her down but we were very hopeful that she could make it and we opted for the at-home treatment. He wouldn't hospitalize her because distemper is so contagious, he couldn't risk the other dogs in the hospital getting it.

We got her in the car and she jumped up to look out the window, and tried to climb to the front seat to get on my lap. I was really hopeful at this point. We had to keep her separated from our other dogs, so we put her crate in the kids' bathroom, and someone would sit in there with her. I had to work but I do work at home, so I was able to run back frequently to check on her.

She didn't make it through the day. A friend of mine usually takes her lunch an hour before I do but that day she swapped with me so I could spend time with her and she actually died during my lunch, so I was able to pet her, and talk to her through it. It seemed to comfort her, because her breathing got better, but then she cried twice and that was it.

That was a little over a week ago. None of us actually talked about keeping her, but we had all pretty much decided we would. She fit right in, and my husband had reservations but when a friend of mine said she'd take her he said "Oh, no.... I don't think she'd take good care of her. We'll just keep her until we find someone else." He knew as well as I did that my friend was the only one that was going to offer to take her. The rescue group was actively looking for a home and no one was interested.

My yorkies spent a couple of days looking for her and cuddling me as I cried. They have stopped looking for her now. My daughter's puppy, Mika (not sure what she is, either) looked for her longer. They were buddies and played together a lot... they were closer in size and Izzy was so gentle with my yorkies but could really play with Mika.

Anyway, I think I thought of this place again because my heart is broken and I've been looking for someone that would understand the pain I feel. My family was heartbroken as well, but they seemed to get over it. I am home all day, but they go out to work or go to school. Izzy and I were together for 38 days, almost constantly. I rarely leave the house. When I do it's usually just for an hour or two. So I feel her absence every day. 4 days after she died my son was going to petsmart and I started to tell him to get something for Iz that I had been wanting, and then I remembered. One night I got up to go to the bathroom and tiptoed past her crate (Which isn't even there anymore), and was back in bed before I remembered. Those are the hardest times.... when you forget for a few mins and then remember all over again.

So glad that I can post here again. I hope you don't mind me telling our story; she wasn't a yorkie but she was as special to me as my yorkies are. And I really just need someone to understand what I'm going through. I don't know when I'll finally stop crying.

[Dudley's Mom]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my 10 year old baby on June 10th and still miss him like it was yesterday. I pray that you will soon get peace and know that you gave her the love she knew before she died. She is in a better place now and died happy in your arms. RIP Izzy

[yorkiemini]

So sorry about your loss. Great love is not easily given up but it does give us a life time of memories we can live with. Prayers and blessing being sent your way!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Anytime we connect with a dog and fall in love with it, the loss of that baby, however short or long our association, is always so painful and hard to recover from. Time really helps as does keeping as busy as you can, never stopping from morning 'til night until you find you are feeling less deep feelings of grief and sadness. Thankfully you have other babies to keep you busy loving them and working and playing, doing activities with them to fill their days with purpose and joy and, hopefully, somewhere in there, you will find some yourself. Hang in there, the awful pain does get better.

Welcome back and thank you for working with rescue dogs. It is a hard, thoroughly heart-warming, often heart-breaking job and not for the fainthearted.

[Nancy1999]

I'm so sorry for you loss, yes, I hate those waking up times, where you have to remember the loss all over again, for second, you hope you were dreaming. I hope time will lesson your pain, and I believe that little spirit will be reunited with you once again. Don't leave next time, just take a break, weren't you on the welcoming committee? Anyway, a big welcome back!

[brittanylayne]

Aw, someone does remember me! Yes, I was on the welcoming committee. I just saw a lot of ... How do I put this delicately? A lot of posts I didn't agree with... I didn't like what I saw, so I just had them deactivate my account. But it turns out if you have a question about a yorkie, THIS is the place to be. So I'm trying it again. I do so miss my other name though. This one is my daughter's name so it's special to me too. lol It'll work.

Thanks to all of you for your comments. It felt good to get this out. I share on fb a little but honestly, I figure they're all sick of me whining by now.

[sandy simpson]

You know the love of a dog and because of that love it is heartbreaking to lose one. I feel for your pain, I have been there and cried for days. Life can be the ultimate pits at times. I will pray for you to be comforted that you gave that precious dog a wonderful life filled with love. Now you must hand the dog over to the Creator of all. It is sad and you will cry but in time you will remember the wonderful times and know that your friend is now up there happy. The Lord I know is awesome and He has your dog at peace.

[smelcerk]

Your post made me cry. I am so glad Izzy got to feel your love and you were with her when she passed. I believe she was brought to you for a reason and you helped her make that transition. As for the waking up times being the saddest, I have to agree. My Zoey was killed 6 weeks ago and I still cry everyday. The mornings are the worst because I always wake up and wonder where she is and then remember.

[smelcerk]

I joined your group after the death of my precious Zoey and feeling the need to connect with others who might understand. The emptiness and loneliness have driven my husband and I on the search for the perfect new addition to our family. I have spent hours and hours researching the best breeder and the best baby to bring into our home. I am getting very close. Cannot wait to share the happy news with you all when this happens. I will need to learn how to post a picture so you can meet her properly. I will admit I am worried about transference. I want to love this new baby with all my heart and not expect her to be a replacement for Zoey. I am keeping the faith that she will have her own personality and worm her way right into our hearts.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by smelcerk

I joined your group after the death of my precious Zoey and feeling the need to connect with others who might understand. The emptiness and loneliness have driven my husband and I on the search for the perfect new addition to our family. I have spent hours and hours researching the best breeder and the best baby to bring into our home. I am getting very close. Cannot wait to share the happy news with you all when this happens. I will need to learn how to post a picture so you can meet her properly. I will admit I am worried about transference. I want to love this new baby with all my heart and not expect her to be a replacement for Zoey. I am keeping the faith that she will have her own personality and worm her way right into our hearts.

She will be just as precious to you as your Zoey and you won't ever think Zoey could ever be replaced. Each dog is precious and so special unto itself. And Zoey would be all for the new puppy!

[Graneet]

Believe me i understand totally. I lost my doxie two years ago. She was our baby for 17 years. When she died i cried literally for a month. Everything reminded me of her. I would save her pieces of my meat when we went out to eat. Soo when we went out that month i would have to get up and leave because i would think of her and start to cry. My other dogs i cried maybe a week or two but not her. So yep i understand and im very sorry your going threw this.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by brittanylayne

Aw, someone does remember me! Yes, I was on the welcoming committee. I just saw a lot of ... How do I put this delicately? A lot of posts I didn't agree with... I didn't like what I saw, so I just had them deactivate my account. But it turns out if you have a question about a yorkie, THIS is the place to be. So I'm trying it again. I do so miss my other name though. This one is my daughter's name so it's special to me too. lol It'll work.

Thanks to all of you for your comments. It felt good to get this out. I share on fb a little but honestly, I figure they're all sick of me whining by now.

I think most of us find a little breather from Yorkietalk non and then healthy. I think negativity can breed negativity. We read about someone neglecting their dog in some way whether its discipline/abuse or not seeing to medical needs etc etc, and it takes all our power to reply in an "upbeat" manner, someone else replies what we are probably thinking and the doors are open to more and more negativity, but I do think 90% of the advice is great and valid. Yorkietalk is like a buffet, take what you like and leave the rest, but I do think the Welcoming committee can set the tone for new members and make them less scared to ask a question.