[brittanylayne]

I was relatively active here a while back, but had my account deactivated, thinking I wouldn't be back. Right after I had it deactivated, I had a question and ended up creating another account. Obviously, I didn't think it through before doing it. lol

I doubt if anyone remembers me, but I was kataliadre.

We've had a bit of a hard time since I was here last. I'm part of a rescue group and although we had 5 dogs, there was a dog that needed a home. She was injured and had been abused, so I took her in as a foster until they could find a permanent place for her. She wasn't a yorkie... we're not sure what she was. But she was bigger than our red/blue heeler.

Her pelvis and back leg were fractured from being run over. But she didn't seem scared of humans, which surprised me. We tried to make her happier than she had ever been. When they brought her to me they told me that the vet didn't start her shots (and it was doubtful that she had any, considering how her original owners mistreated her) because of her injuries. My dogs are up to date on their shots, so I figured I'd go ahead and keep her and we'd start shots as soon as the vet was willing.

Long story short, she got sick and at first I thought it was a bug that my littlest one had the week before. I took her to the vet and they ran tests and she was fine, it was just a little bug, and it passed. So when Izzy (our foster) showed the same symptoms, I just babied her and cuddled with her, figuring it would pass too. She didn't get better,though, she just got worse. So we took her to the vet. She had parvo and distemper. The vet seemed to want to put her down but we were very hopeful that she could make it and we opted for the at-home treatment. He wouldn't hospitalize her because distemper is so contagious, he couldn't risk the other dogs in the hospital getting it.

We got her in the car and she jumped up to look out the window, and tried to climb to the front seat to get on my lap. I was really hopeful at this point. We had to keep her separated from our other dogs, so we put her crate in the kids' bathroom, and someone would sit in there with her. I had to work but I do work at home, so I was able to run back frequently to check on her.

She didn't make it through the day. A friend of mine usually takes her lunch an hour before I do but that day she swapped with me so I could spend time with her and she actually died during my lunch, so I was able to pet her, and talk to her through it. It seemed to comfort her, because her breathing got better, but then she cried twice and that was it.

That was a little over a week ago. None of us actually talked about keeping her, but we had all pretty much decided we would. She fit right in, and my husband had reservations but when a friend of mine said she'd take her he said "Oh, no.... I don't think she'd take good care of her. We'll just keep her until we find someone else." He knew as well as I did that my friend was the only one that was going to offer to take her. The rescue group was actively looking for a home and no one was interested.

My yorkies spent a couple of days looking for her and cuddling me as I cried. They have stopped looking for her now. My daughter's puppy, Mika (not sure what she is, either) looked for her longer. They were buddies and played together a lot... they were closer in size and Izzy was so gentle with my yorkies but could really play with Mika.

Anyway, I think I thought of this place again because my heart is broken and I've been looking for someone that would understand the pain I feel. My family was heartbroken as well, but they seemed to get over it. I am home all day, but they go out to work or go to school. Izzy and I were together for 38 days, almost constantly. I rarely leave the house. When I do it's usually just for an hour or two. So I feel her absence every day. 4 days after she died my son was going to petsmart and I started to tell him to get something for Iz that I had been wanting, and then I remembered. One night I got up to go to the bathroom and tiptoed past her crate (Which isn't even there anymore), and was back in bed before I remembered. Those are the hardest times.... when you forget for a few mins and then remember all over again.

So glad that I can post here again. I hope you don't mind me telling our story; she wasn't a yorkie but she was as special to me as my yorkies are. And I really just need someone to understand what I'm going through. I don't know when I'll finally stop crying.