I'm new & I need your advice. - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Edd · 07-19-2008, 07:38 PM

Hello. First, I apologize if I'm in the wrong place or interfering in someone's conversation. I've never done this before and this is a first for me. My problem is this. My husband gave me a 2 yr-old Yorkie from the spca about a month ago and it's not going well. I just don't think the dog likes me. I walk the dog daily, I feed him, I clean up after him. I get down on the floor to play with him and he runs the other way. I hold him in my arms, pet him, groom him but he runs away. I made a bed for him out of a flannel shirt with my scent on it. I've done everything I can think of to bond with that dog. However, the dog adores my husband. He follows my husband everywhere and when my husband leaves the house, the dog cries and runs around looking for him and totally ignores me. My husband has done nothing to encourage that behavior. The dog is housebroken when he wants to be. When he doesn't get his way, he does his business in or near something of mine. I've owned dogs before (a Lab, a Husky, and a Rottie) but I've never experienced anything like this. Any advice on how to get him to bond with me or is it hopeless and I should take him back to the spca. Thanks for you help. Edd

khyorkies · 07-19-2008, 07:42 PM

Welcome to YT!!! I sure hope so one can give you some advice on your problem!!!

peanut · 07-19-2008, 07:45 PM

Give it some time, you don't know where or what kind of situation he was in before you got him, 2 years is along time, and yorkies are all very well known for their little temper tatrums about going where they shouldn't. I have 3 just like that, if they get mad or don't get their way watch out...Just continue loving him and he will turn around. Welcome to YT!

ranant12 · 07-19-2008, 07:45 PM

Hi,

The only advice I have for you is to say "Please be patient with your new dog."

He is after all already 2 years old and a rescue. There is no telling what kind of trauma the poor little fellow has been through in the last 2 years. He may have been abused by a woman and that's why he feels more drawn to your husband. You will have to earn his trust by being patient and loving. Terriers are so intelligent. He will have to really believe that you love him and will not hurt him, before he can really warm up to you, most likely.

I also just want to say,Thank you for being a loving person and taking in a rescue dog. God will bless you for your kindness.

jencar98 · 07-19-2008, 07:47 PM

I've recently began to rescue dogs and one of them didn't care for my husband. This is totally unusual, as all dogs and babies love him. This leads me to believe he must have been mistreated by a man or men.

Normally I'm the one responsible for feeding all of the dogs here. With this boy though, I'm having my husband feed him. He is starting to become more friendly and receptive now but it has taken a couple of weeks.

Could it be since your husband is the one that brought him home, he has looked at him as his lifesaver and become loyal to him? I would give it more time. With rescues and adopted dogs you don't know the full history and it could be his experience with ladies hasn't been good til now.

Faith's Auntie · 07-19-2008, 08:53 PM

Im thinking due to the first two years of your yourkie's life, the poor baby must have been freightened in a way. Just keep loving this baby and Im sure after a little adjustment time things will be just wonderful for you and puppy.

IsabelsMom · 07-19-2008, 09:04 PM

You may just have a yorkie who favors men over women. It may have to do w/ his background or just be in his makeup.

Mayas Mommy · 07-19-2008, 10:41 PM

Hi welcome to YT .....

I know what your saying .... my dog prefers my Hubby over me (it seems like) .... give it some time .... you don't know what the poor thing had to go through in 2 years .... just be patient and loving ...... mine is VERY stubborn too .... if things don't go her way .... boy watch out ....

tjdmom · 07-20-2008, 05:08 AM

I think you've gotten some good advice. First off, give it some time. You don't know what has happened in his life up till now and there may be some reason he prefers your husband that has nothing to do with you but relates to his past history. I would make sure you are the one feeding him whenever possible. You also might try to find a treat that he absolutely goes bonkers for. Mine like cheese but another suggestion is small pieces of chicken breast. Also, don't try to force him to come to you just get on the floor and throw some pieces of food out to him but otherwise, let him come to you. I think with time you will be able to get him to trust you and maybe he will always prefer your husband but he has room in his heart for you as well. Oh and WELCOME to YT!

JeanieK · 07-20-2008, 05:14 AM

it will take time, with rescues, you don't know their history. maybe he has had a bad experience with women and prefers men.

One thing I did notice in you original post however, is you refer to him as "the dog". I'm not trying to be critical, but perhaps you don't really like him and he knows it.

Javathon · 07-20-2008, 05:20 AM

Let me start by saying to have seem over 20 episodes of "the dog whisperer" in the last week. My TiVo was full, so either watch or delete. Which leads me to believe that maybe he sees your hubby as the leader, then it's him, and last it's you. Which is why he thinks he can potty on or near your things. At the same time I agree with alot of people about him being 2 and you not knowing his background. He could have been hurt by a woman or women in the past, which is why he favors men (your hubby).

Mitzis Mom · 07-20-2008, 05:42 AM

We have a rescue too, Maggie, a 3 y.o. girl. She was very timid and hand shy when we got her in January and only resently she warms up to us. First she avoided my husband but now he's her favorite. You could do one thing though even if it's a bit hard... you could ingore him and let him come to you on his own terms and when he is in the mood to cuddle and being pet. Yorkies are sure different from other breeds. I had to learn that too...

Mom to Hot Rod · 07-20-2008, 05:45 AM

First, welcome to YT and congrats on you new baby. You've gotten a lot of good advice already. I just want to also say that with his background, you never know what kind(s) of traumas he has experienced in his life. I would assume (I may be wrong) that a woman may have been his caretaker and if so, could have been really tramautized by her therefore leary of females. Just guessing. We took in a stray cat once and he was petrified of long things such as a roll of gift wrap...tells me that someone must have beat him with a broom handle. Just give him time to settle in and be patient, 2 mos may seem like a long time but if this little one was abused, think of his 2 years with such treatment. Good luck.

KimberlySRN · 07-20-2008, 08:52 AM

I would have to agree that he may need time to settle in. Once he is settled perhaps you should do something special with just the two of you. Taking an obedience class., go to the park, taking a walk to a special spot. I have learned that many dogs become more bonded with there owners when they learn tricks and such. Anything positive is great.

RustysMom · 07-20-2008, 09:23 AM

TIME heals all wounds.. give him time...I have 2 yorkies and my male who is 3 cries, whines, etc. after my husband after my years of TLC... I consider it a "guy thing" LOL
It could be like in my case, Rusty sees me as the "teacher" and my husband is his "daddy". All you can do is let him know that you DO LOVE HIM.....it will take time...all i can suggest is that you feed him GOOD treats he loves and try new treats together. Make time for the 2 of you everyday if it is only 15 minutes....

07-19-2008, 07:38 PM	#1
Edd YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Phila., Pa. Posts: 2	I'm new & I need your advice. Hello. First, I apologize if I'm in the wrong place or interfering in someone's conversation. I've never done this before and this is a first for me. My problem is this. My husband gave me a 2 yr-old Yorkie from the spca about a month ago and it's not going well. I just don't think the dog likes me. I walk the dog daily, I feed him, I clean up after him. I get down on the floor to play with him and he runs the other way. I hold him in my arms, pet him, groom him but he runs away. I made a bed for him out of a flannel shirt with my scent on it. I've done everything I can think of to bond with that dog. However, the dog adores my husband. He follows my husband everywhere and when my husband leaves the house, the dog cries and runs around looking for him and totally ignores me. My husband has done nothing to encourage that behavior. The dog is housebroken when he wants to be. When he doesn't get his way, he does his business in or near something of mine. I've owned dogs before (a Lab, a Husky, and a Rottie) but I've never experienced anything like this. Any advice on how to get him to bond with me or is it hopeless and I should take him back to the spca. Thanks for you help. Edd

07-19-2008, 07:42 PM	#2
khyorkies YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NC Posts: 383	Welcome to YT!!! I sure hope so one can give you some advice on your problem!!! __________________ It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have...it's who you have beside you....I'm glad I have my babies~Chico~Cookie & Foxy~ beside me.

07-19-2008, 07:45 PM	#3
peanut Dogs Rule Cats Drool! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 7,895	Give it some time, you don't know where or what kind of situation he was in before you got him, 2 years is along time, and yorkies are all very well known for their little temper tatrums about going where they shouldn't. I have 3 just like that, if they get mad or don't get their way watch out...Just continue loving him and he will turn around. Welcome to YT! __________________ KIM

07-19-2008, 07:47 PM	#5
jencar98 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 6,435 Blog Entries: 3	I've recently began to rescue dogs and one of them didn't care for my husband. This is totally unusual, as all dogs and babies love him. This leads me to believe he must have been mistreated by a man or men. Normally I'm the one responsible for feeding all of the dogs here. With this boy though, I'm having my husband feed him. He is starting to become more friendly and receptive now but it has taken a couple of weeks. Could it be since your husband is the one that brought him home, he has looked at him as his lifesaver and become loyal to him? I would give it more time. With rescues and adopted dogs you don't know the full history and it could be his experience with ladies hasn't been good til now. __________________ ~Ruby, Reno, Razz, & Jack~

07-19-2008, 09:04 PM	#7
IsabelsMom Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Cumberland, MD, USA Posts: 238	You may just have a yorkie who favors men over women. It may have to do w/ his background or just be in his makeup. __________________ Marcy (a.k.a. Isabelsmom)

07-19-2008, 07:45 PM	#4
ranant12 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: South Mississippi Posts: 225	Hi, The only advice I have for you is to say "Please be patient with your new dog." He is after all already 2 years old and a rescue. There is no telling what kind of trauma the poor little fellow has been through in the last 2 years. He may have been abused by a woman and that's why he feels more drawn to your husband. You will have to earn his trust by being patient and loving. Terriers are so intelligent. He will have to really believe that you love him and will not hurt him, before he can really warm up to you, most likely. I also just want to say,Thank you for being a loving person and taking in a rescue dog. God will bless you for your kindness.

07-19-2008, 08:53 PM	#6
Faith's Auntie Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 51	Im thinking due to the first two years of your yourkie's life, the poor baby must have been freightened in a way. Just keep loving this baby and Im sure after a little adjustment time things will be just wonderful for you and puppy.

07-19-2008, 10:41 PM	#8
Mayas Mommy ..... and BLAIR'S too ...... Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: USA Posts: 3,190	Hi welcome to YT ..... I know what your saying .... my dog prefers my Hubby over me (it seems like) .... give it some time .... you don't know what the poor thing had to go through in 2 years .... just be patient and loving ...... mine is VERY stubborn too .... if things don't go her way .... boy watch out .... __________________ I LOVE MY LIFE AS A MOMMY AND A WIFE

07-20-2008, 05:08 AM	#9
tjdmom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny Posts: 5,847	I think you've gotten some good advice. First off, give it some time. You don't know what has happened in his life up till now and there may be some reason he prefers your husband that has nothing to do with you but relates to his past history. I would make sure you are the one feeding him whenever possible. You also might try to find a treat that he absolutely goes bonkers for. Mine like cheese but another suggestion is small pieces of chicken breast. Also, don't try to force him to come to you just get on the floor and throw some pieces of food out to him but otherwise, let him come to you. I think with time you will be able to get him to trust you and maybe he will always prefer your husband but he has room in his heart for you as well. Oh and WELCOME to YT!

07-20-2008, 05:14 AM	#10
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	it will take time, with rescues, you don't know their history. maybe he has had a bad experience with women and prefers men. One thing I did notice in you original post however, is you refer to him as "the dog". I'm not trying to be critical, but perhaps you don't really like him and he knows it.

07-20-2008, 05:20 AM	#11
Javathon YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: SW Florida Posts: 257	Let me start by saying to have seem over 20 episodes of "the dog whisperer" in the last week. My TiVo was full, so either watch or delete. Which leads me to believe that maybe he sees your hubby as the leader, then it's him, and last it's you. Which is why he thinks he can potty on or near your things. At the same time I agree with alot of people about him being 2 and you not knowing his background. He could have been hurt by a woman or women in the past, which is why he favors men (your hubby). __________________ Jaxter our little angel. Sookie our little demon.

07-20-2008, 05:42 AM	#12
Mitzis Mom No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 2,837	We have a rescue too, Maggie, a 3 y.o. girl. She was very timid and hand shy when we got her in January and only resently she warms up to us. First she avoided my husband but now he's her favorite. You could do one thing though even if it's a bit hard... you could ingore him and let him come to you on his own terms and when he is in the mood to cuddle and being pet. Yorkies are sure different from other breeds. I had to learn that too...

07-20-2008, 05:45 AM	#13
Mom to Hot Rod Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD Posts: 10,908	First, welcome to YT and congrats on you new baby. You've gotten a lot of good advice already. I just want to also say that with his background, you never know what kind(s) of traumas he has experienced in his life. I would assume (I may be wrong) that a woman may have been his caretaker and if so, could have been really tramautized by her therefore leary of females. Just guessing. We took in a stray cat once and he was petrified of long things such as a roll of gift wrap...tells me that someone must have beat him with a broom handle. Just give him time to settle in and be patient, 2 mos may seem like a long time but if this little one was abused, think of his 2 years with such treatment. Good luck. __________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10

07-20-2008, 08:52 AM	#14
KimberlySRN Twins=double the fun! Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,981	I would have to agree that he may need time to settle in. Once he is settled perhaps you should do something special with just the two of you. Taking an obedience class., go to the park, taking a walk to a special spot. I have learned that many dogs become more bonded with there owners when they learn tricks and such. Anything positive is great. __________________ Kim Anakin Bella Last edited by KimberlySRN; 07-20-2008 at 08:55 AM.

07-20-2008, 09:23 AM	#15
RustysMom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Trinity, North Carolina Posts: 1,149	TIME heals all wounds.. give him time...I have 2 yorkies and my male who is 3 cries, whines, etc. after my husband after my years of TLC... I consider it a "guy thing" LOL It could be like in my case, Rusty sees me as the "teacher" and my husband is his "daddy". All you can do is let him know that you DO LOVE HIM.....it will take time...all i can suggest is that you feed him GOOD treats he loves and try new treats together. Make time for the 2 of you everyday if it is only 15 minutes.... __________________ : *Rusty, Cheyenne, Bubbles, Chewie, Macayla, Samantha* *Every day is so much fun!*