Apologies in advance
 

I just wanted to give everyone an update.

I started chemo the 17th. My hair started falling out 6 days later and continues to come out by the handfuls. This is actually worse than losing my breasts. I finished 5 weeks of radiation, but there is talk of possible more after the chemo is done. I have at least 4 more sessions of it (I go every 3rd week) so we'll see what he decides.
I have only told 2 people on here (thank you to the two ladies who were my sounding board) that my husband decided he couldn't deal with a wife who was sick and depressed and filed for divorce. I was served my papers the Saturday of the Arlington get together. I had every intention of coming to the get together but just couldn't find the strength, and I apologize to the other members who did attend. I feel like I left y'all hanging because I was supposed to bring cups and sodas. Now you know why you were thirsty and had to drink out of the water hose lol. Again, I am sorry.

So, with all that said, if I am snappy or pissy and come across as harsh, I apologize in advance. I don't mean to be mean or cruel. If I offend you, please feel free to let me know. I am not a mean person, nor do I normally go out of my way to be a b*t(h.

Wow! How terrible to have all this crap come down on you at once... even in pieces it's horrible. Your post brought tears to my eyes... I feel so bad for you. I do think about you quite alot, I don't know you at all, but I pray for you and I pray that you can find health and joy in your life once again... come back stronger and kick butt! There's so much more I would like to say, but it ain't pretty. No one should ever have to go through what you're going through.... I can send you cyber hugs and prayers... and I will everyday. Hugs, Kathy

Oh wow....I am stunned and amazed that you felt the need to apologize after all you have been through. Good gosh women.... you've been through hell and back. Dont stress over the small things it can interfere with your recovery.

I know what it is like after seeing my own sister suffer with brain cancer and go through simular experience. Even loosing her marriage when her a**hole, cowardly husband decided he couldn't deal with a sick wife either. He just packed up and left my sister during a time in her life when she needed him the most. Still makes me sick just thinking about it. When it comes to a man leaving his sick wife there are no words to express how sad and disgusted that makes me. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this without him by your side. I can only hope that you have a good support system in place to help get you through this dificult time.

Reading your post brought tears to my eyes just thinking of what my sister went through dealing with her cancer. Just stay strong and you do what you need to so to get yourself better and to heal.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

There she is! I don't think you could be pissy or snappy if you tried and if you are we will pretend we don't notice, you have a free pass for the next 6 months to be pissy!!! I'll let Ann and Admin know!

I am so glad to see you posting, I am however very, very sorry about your husband being an idiot, shame on him....this is awful...I am so sorry.

Please remember though we've never met, you are special to me and many of us here, I have been praying for you daily and will continue to do so...Concentrate on you Michele, your health is all that matters right now...

Oh, I am so sorry about all the negative stuff going on in your life.

I cannot even write what I truthfully think of your husband right now. Lower than pond scum, that is for sure.

You are in my thoughts and prayers and will be on a daily basis. I do hope that you have a good support system in person. You will have a good one (support system) here on YT, that is for sure. Hugs...

I am sending you cyber hugs and prayers Michele. I think you are a very special and strong lady and your ex doesn't know what he has lost. You will come out the other end of these struggles a stronger person for it and he didn't deserve you to begin with IMO.
As for being pissy and harsh I agree with Lynzy you earned that right and who could blame you if you want to blow off some steam. Hang in there, things will get better.

I am sorry you have been through so much you have my prayers

You are in my prayers. How awful of your husband to leave you when you needed him most. I know if it was reversed you would have done everything you could for him. My husband always had longer hair and when his fell out he was so devastated. It's easy for others to say it's only hair but it's not happening to them. Hugs

Hi Michele! Oh my goodness, you are in the valley right now and the storm is just raging all around you, isn't it? It's so hard to understand why God allows so much pain and suffering in our lives, and honey, you sure have seen more than your fair share lately. I have to believe that there is a purpose in all of this. Perhaps when you are through the other side, you will be able to help and encourage others who are just beginning the same journey. I know that sounds pretty hollow when you are sitting there, broken hearted, throwing your guts up, but trust me, it's true. I hope you have some kind of a support system in place. Is anyone helping you? Do you have family nearby? I wish I lived closer. When things got very tough for me, I journaled. My thoughts were for my eyes only. I never journaled before, and in the beginning it was just a place to sound off because people get tired of hearing your woes. In the end, when I look back now, I saw blessings I would have forgotten about, strength that came from the oddest places, and peace and acceptance of my current circumstances. I drew from a well that was so much deeper than I ever knew was there, and I learned things about myself that still surprise and amaze me. I know I am a much different person today then I was back when that difficult journey started. I guess we are all like that. The trick is coming out the other side better, and stronger. Faith and fear can not live in the same house, and you have to decide daily which you will serve. I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain. Please know that you have friends here who will listen, and cry with you, and celebrate with you, and always pray for you. You are never alone. Gentle hugs, my new friend. Please let us know how you are doing. Take care. :hug:

Michelle, I have been thinking about you alot. Many prayers going out for you. I am so very sorry for what your husband has done.

You do know that I am here.

Michelle, what a brave and strong woman you are! After all you have been through you apologize for being a "no show" at an event. I highly commend you and I am praying that you will pull through all these challenges. As for the husband, you are probably better off without him (you do not need negativity during your healing process), and it's his loss not yours.

Continue to be strong and have faith. You have many supporters here on YT...

You poor little thing having to go through such awful things one after the other - hit after hit after hit. It just seems too much for one little person to take. I pray for you every day since I read back earlier in the year that you were going to be going through all of this and now you have the extra hit of your husband leaving. I can't imagine what your life must be like right now and hope that you have some help from cancer and women's associations, your family, friends and church. No one in your shape should have to go through these times alone. Stay strong, set your face against that cancer and keep fighting for you and your kids. You are an amazing person, made and put on this earth for a very specific purpose and with the grace of God, will get through this terrible time with the loving help of those who won't dessert you in your time of such great need. An amazing grace is there for you when you are at your weakest and human efforts seem helpless! So never give up, never give in, always believe. A future awaits you - full of possibilities. Who knows where you can be in a year's time with much of this behind you. Please let me know if I can ever do anything - anything at all. Much love and hugs! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Michele, I am keeping you in my prayers and I so hope you feel all of our love and hugs for you.

Michelle, I have you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs

As you can see there are a host of folk her to "hold you up". Lots do prayers coming your way and keep us posted. We are here for you:D

One of my youn kids that I take my Cali to see in the hospital has lost all her hair and she loves for Cali to rub against her bald scalp- tells me it feels like having a fur coat on her head!

Im glad that you shared. Remember that I am only a phone call away!! Tag this thread so you can come back and read it to remind you that there are people out there that really do care and want to keep you in their prayers. I hope that today is a good day for you.
Missing your smile!!!!

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately, is very common for men to leave their wives who are battling cancer, and in fact, studies have shown the happier a man was in the marriage before the cancer, the more likely he is to divorce. Woman are just the opposite, even if a women was very unhappy during the marriage and ready to divorce, she is more likely to stay with her husband. Something about a cancer diagnosis scares a man, they don't like to be in charge of their own destiny and it's easier to say I don't love this person, then face the prospect of losing them through cancer. Anyways, I'm sending prayers, and I hope God gives you strength to fight this battle. Losing your hair must be awful, have you started to look for wigs yet?

I am sorry what you are going through. Brought tears to my eyes reading your entry. I have been through some of that storm. It wasn't pretty but I got through it. I hope that you can take a little of each of our strength to help you through this. We are all here for you. Sending love and hugs

We join with all others in sending a GREAT big :ghug: to you Michelle. LIfes trials and endurances are so very difficult at times, through each one I do believe God gives us HIS abundance of strength to get through them, I find this to be so in my own life and pray this for you too.
I am sad to hear about this that your husband has done,I will be praying for God to help him have the understanding and compassionate soul a spouse should have. I have heard this happening before in wives doing the same thing, I find it so sad that this happens, it surely should not be.
Continued Prayers, love and big hug,
From the both of us, Patti and Jack

I am so sorry Michelle. You have been through so much and to add this on top of everything. He is giving up a great person and I'm sure he will see that one day. You are so strong to endure all that you have. Hang in there. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Hugs my friend.

Please know Michele you are in my thoughts and prayers. We are all here for you...just reach out, feel the love, prayers and strength for you.
I know there is quite a distance between us, but if there is anything, anything at all I can do for you...let me know. Hugs to you, stay strong.

Michelle, I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this. Your ex doesn't deserve you. Stay strong, sending hugs to you.

Oh Michelle, I read earlier that you were ill. I dont know you but this brought tears to my eyes...I Truly hope you have a support system to help you through this. As Lynzy said you have earned the right to be b&^*$y!!!
As for your 'wonderful' husband he joins my ex in the jerkoff category.
Mine left because he didn't want to look after me IF I got sick (I'm a smoker). I had a few not so nice words for him and some saved for yours if you should ever need to borrow a few. I'm not very lady-like when I'm pizzed! Truckers mouth.

You are in my prayers Michelle, you will get through this stronger for it.
As my son said to me 'Dont let anyone take your smile away'...little brat threw my words back at me...but he was right.
If you simply cant find the strength to smile..just think of all of us YTers pulling and praying for you.
Look after you my friend...leave the rest to Our Lord and Saviour. Put your faith in His Hands, He will see you through.
God Bless and stay strong.
Jacqui

Sending prayers and hugs.

Michelle keeping you in my daily prayers, Know we are all here for you. Hugs and keep the faith.
Anne/Luci:)

Its unfortunate that your husband did that to YOU! He does not deserve you and when he comes back crying after your FULL RECOVERY, you will have moved onto a better life. You are in my prayers. Big, big, big hugs from Sheli in Florida. :)

oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to read this. I just hate cancer. Sending you hugs and prayers....

If I have to be honest, his reasoning is more about the depression and the "lack of will to live". I essentially walked out of the Drs office, told my family I wasn't doing anymore radiation, chemo or taking anymore meds. He told me he would rather leave and deal with the heartbreak of the divorce than to watch me give up and slowly kill myself. I know that doesnt excuse what he did, and I am not making excuses for him, but I was being stupid. Obviously I did finish radiation and started chemo. And I'm back on all my meds.

Yes, my daughter and I went Saturday and looked at wigs.

And thank you ma'am for you caring heart! I enjoyed our phone call today and thank you for your kind words! They meant the world to me!!