Connie thank you so much for helping Patti through this...I hope and pray Patti is at least eating and trying to get some rest. I was really hoping and praying for a better outcome. I am continuing to pray for peace for this family....my heart is breaking and I am in tears reading this. Mom and Dad were also together 42 years....This is just soooo sad.

I just talked with Patti. She did put him in hospice and he can stay at that hospital until Monday. Then it's either to take him home or put him in a nursing home. Patti said again, she doesn't know if she did the right thing. I told her that would have been my decision if I was in her situation and that they will be so much help. One thing I forgot to mention is that Ken's heart is very enlarged. It just keeps getting worse. Patti said Ken took the Cpack off and doesn't want oxygen. A pulmonologist was in to see Ken and said he is going to do something to make his breathing easier, so I hope whatever it is, that it works. Patti plans to go home around 11 or 12 tonight and get a little sleep. I told her I will stay on the phone with her again for her drive home. Her nephew went and fed her yorkies today, but those poor babies must be so sad and confused. She said when she got home last night, that they kept looking for Ken.

Patti i am so sorry that you both are going through this trying time, just ask God to lead you through this sad time and the strength to bear it...hugs to you both
and family

Thanks to all of you for the continued support. Connie I don't know what I would do with out you by my side a,though not physically. I am going to ask Connie to continue to update as it is hard for me to write through my tears. Ken is having breathing difficulties and the staff is so short handed and now that he is a hospice patient it is hard to get a nurse in here. All of your kind words have given me a boost knowing I am not alone. I know I did the best thing for Ken by putting him in Hospice but it sure doesn't feel right. How do you go on when the love of your life is gone. I have never been without him in 42 years. The Hospice nurse said I may be able to bring Pixie up to see Ken. He bought her for me and always called her Perfect Pixie. I only pray Ken's journey home does not drag on. I don't want to let go but know I have to. Signing the hospice papers was the hardest thing I have ever done. My heart is broken and all your prayers are so needed.

This just breaks my heart every time I read an update. It sounds like Ken is getting the best treatment possible & hopefully if they can aid his breathing, hospice care will keep him as comfortable as possible. Thank you, Connie, for talking Patti home as she drives so late when it is so scary to be out! You are a Godsend to her. It is a shame she doesn't have someone to accompany her to & from the hospital as likely she's so so tired.

Thank you, Connie, also, for keeping us updated. Everyone here really appreciates it. We are so worried & concerned about Ken & Patti that your posts are a kindness. I hope both Ken & Patti can sleep tonight. I'll pray for peace & rest for both of them.

Thank you Connie for all your updates. This is such a sad story.
I watched my father go thru this very thing. At that time there wasn't a Hospice in our area. It was so hard on my mother and myself. Saying prayers for Ken and Patti. I wish there was something I could do to help.

Patti, Prayers for Ken and for you & your family. Comfort, strength and peace.

Patti was planning to go home tonight and try to get a couple hours sleep. She said Ken has been unresponsive and that may be from the morphine. We were talking on the phone and when she stood up, Ken's breathing became very different...she couldn't explain, but it scared her and she got a nurse in there. The nurse did some things and Patti has now decided to stay at the hospital and the nurse was bringing her a blanket and pillow. I told her to call if she needs me and I won't call her any more tonight, just in case she is able to sleep a bit...I sure wouldn't want to wake her. Bless her heart!

This is so very sad.
My heart is breaking for the both of them.
I too wish there something I could do to ease the pain and suffering they are going through.
I can only continue to offer up prayers.

Oh this is so hard to read. My heart hurts for Patti and Ken. I am glad that she can have some help with Ken's care. I hope that she realizes that this is probably the best thing for the both of them now.

Sending lots of prayers and hugs.

My heart goes out to you. Continuing to pray for you! May God give you strength and comfort.

Prayers continue for Patti and Ken, I am so sad I wish there was something I could say to be more comforting. ((hugs)) I am so sorry you are going through this.

Thinking of you today my friend and hoping that you both was able to rest a bit
i pray for you both to have strength

My heart goes out to you, Patti, at this most difficult time. Hugs and prayers...

Thinking of you Patti and Ken, and sending prayers for peace and strength. I hope you can feel the arms of love and support we're wrapping around you.

Prayers and hugs to you Ken and Patti.

Keeping you both close in prayer. May God Bless and comfort you now and always.

Love and Hugs,
Dyan

Patti ended up going home for a while last night, as she just could not sleep there at the hospital and the nurse told her Ken's blood pressure and heart rate were good and that she would call her immediately if there was any change. She managed to get a few hours sleep and went back to the hospital. Ken is unresponsive, but I told Patti he knows she is there. I truly believe that he knows and that he can hear her when she talks to him. I hope she will eat something decent today...she has eaten some chips and pop in the last few days and she needs more than that. Her daughter took the day off work, so I'm thankful for that. It bothers me so bad when she is alone so much with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I'm glad Patti got a little rest. I know when you're under stress like that the last thing you want to do is eat. Maybe if she had a little fruit or salad to get some vitamins. I'm praying for Patti and Ken. Wish I could do more.

We are taught in Nursing 101...."The last sense to go is the sense of hearing...DO NOT EVER TALK IN FRONT OF AN UNRESPONSIVE/UNCONSCIOUS PATIENT....THEY CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU SAY". This was proven to me years later when I had an uncle in the hospital, who was comatose...seriously ill..they didnt give him 30% chance of recovering...his family stood around the room discussing funeral arrangements, etc....well, he eventually woke up and the first thing he told them all was he did NOT approve of the plans they had for him and he wanted to address that in writing so they would get it right when the time came! He lived another 15 years! .......I am thankful Patti was able to get some rest...maybe she can eat a little something....

A hospice nurse was in to see Ken and told Patti his legs were getting the mottled look and it could be a few hours to a day or two. Patti didn't notice any difference in his legs as he has psorasis and that what she thinks the hospice nurse was seeing. This hospice doesn't seem to great. A hospice lady came in today and didn't even ask Patti how she was or show any compassion. She just wanted to know about Patti's finances, which I don't see is any of her business anyway. If Ken hangs in there, Patti will change to a different hospice closer to her home and just take him home.

oh wow.. just what Patti needs!!!!

Do you know when her sister will be back? Please tell her we all are praying for her..

I agree. I've heard people on TV talking about things they remembered from coma as people talked. Others say they recall nothing. I've talked to more than one person who said they knew someone who was in a coma and words got through, the patient told them, once they awakened, actually telling them about things that they were really talking about. When my mother was going through her last hours, I presumed she could hear me & just talked to her normally. Her labored breathing would always quieten a bit when I talked or sang to her & I do not think it was my imagination. I believe that many, many unconscious patients do hear & register much of what is said in their presence.

I pray that Patti can find someone to help sit with Ken during some of this so at least she can lie down on a cot & nap some in the room & stay with him to let her go to the cafeteria for a hot meal once a day or so. It will strengthen her & she needs her energy to get through this. Maybe her daughter can take an emergency leave & be with her. In some hospitals, there are volunteers who will sit with very ill patients for family members.

Hopefully Ken is unaware now of his pain & fear & the hospice palliative care is keeping him comfortable & resting. I know we are all still hoping Ken can get his miracle & can't let that hope go yet.

Connie, please pass our thoughts & love along to Patti. I think of she & Ken so often during the day. And thank you again for letting us know what is going on with Ken & how he is doing.

Oh, that sounds so unprofessional & crass for hospice personnel. My goodness! That poor thing - it doesn't seem she can catch a break here & get much help at all. Usually hospice personnel are the very souls of kindness & empathy. As my brother was driving from out of state & my sister home with her husband who was going through a terrible bout of dementia when Mother was dying, I relied on hospice when other family, friends or church members were not around. Those hospice nurses & even the hospice clerical personnel with whom I dealt were like friends in no time, realizing the bedside family members are suffering so badly in their own ways. It would be great if she could change hospice services right away.

I haven't checked this thread in a couple of days, now I'm in tears... Thank you Connie for the updates... this is all so very sad... praying for strength and peace for both Ken and Patti...

Well, this is a clear tragedy...these people can be soooo supportive and helpful and caringand compassionate...absolutely invaluable to a family going through this....how sad she does not have an effective hospice....she needs to be sure and tell the social eworker she does dont recommend this particular one....sometimes, if she can get the social worker alone and talking, the SW will recommend the one she would use for HER family member....VISITING ANGELS HOME CARE...This is a service that provides help for people at home...I know 2 different people that have utilized this service...neither one was for a patient that was in pallative care...I dont know if they do that....just a name for a service she may check out....

Patti keeping you and Ken in my prayer's. Praying for peace for Ken and you. Remember you may feel alone in this But we all are here for you daily, Alway's thinking of you both. Praying when Ken's time does come he goes peacefully. Right now you are such a god send to him, he may be unresponsive but he know's you are there. Connie you are a god send for keeping every one posted about Ken. Wishing their was more we could do for you. Hugs Anne.

Oh my word, I am so sorry to hear of this experience with Hospice. This is not how it should be.
Can Patti call the Hospice an let them about this person?

Ken still remains in my prayers as well as Patti. My heart is just breaking.

Oh Patti, you and Ken are constAntly in my prayers.
Don't make more stress for yourself or Ken - but you might want to call the Director of Nursing of the Hospice and let them know th tour expectations and theirs are not in synch. Be sure to let them know that Ken may not be getting the correct care and that, of course, concerns you greatly.

Also, your doctor can can get another hospice agency for you if needed.

This is such a shame because most people rave about their hospice care.

What is important right now is Ken and what he needs and the best of support for you!

Blessings to you both.

Saying prayers for Ken and Patti. I am so sad that Hospice isn't
helping as much as they should.