I'm so distraught!!!! Please help!!!!

[bellababy08]

I'm so so sorry for what you have been thru and what you are going thru now. I just can't imagine losing both my babies within days apart...Tears fall as I write this cause I do know and understand the pain you feel...and yes 15 years is a long time and a lot of love and memories that you have...I too just lost my 14 1/2 year old yorkie Bailey may she R.I.P on Oct 16, 2010...and our life as we had known it for almost 15 years change...my kids and Bailey grew up together like yours...I too didn't want to send my baby to rainbow bridge...but I went back to see her and the look in her eyes told me I had to do what was right for her...I sit my baby in my lap with my arms around her telling her how much I love her, it was very hard and I cried like a baby as she went to sleep and I helped her to rainbow bridge...I know in time you will do the same...Your babies know how much you love them and told you everyday with a tail wag...and they would want you to give that love to another very needy pet. Again I'm so so sorry

[chachi]

Im sorry and feel like I dont have any thing adequate to say to ease your pain. Mine are 6 and I know in some years Ill be faced with the same thing. You just have to know she had a long happy life with you and she knew she was loved and thats the important thing. You will know when the time is right to let her go.

[JamieP]

Thank you to all of you for your kind words and thoughts during this time for me. The sad part of this is that I KNOW she is tired and her quality of life is nil. She goes out to the bathroom and I walk behind her, mostly over her with my hands near her sides to keep her from falling over, or to prevent her from falling over. She does drink and she gets sub q fluids twice a day. I just picked up some more fluids from the vet and bought her some baby food that I have to gradually syringe into her so she gets something in her. Otherwise she wont touch food. It's just sad because just a few days ago she was at least up and eating.......up to 7 small meals a day!!! She's been sick since before Halloween but not even close to this! Seems overnight she went downhill!!! I got her stats from our vet and they said on the 30th, her BUN was 30 and it should be around 7.5. on the 8th when they wanted to put her to sleep, it had skyrocketed to 277! Her creatine was 1.4 on the 30th and on the 8th it was 5.5. Her phosphorus was 7.4 on the 30 and it should be around 2.9-6.6 and hers was 12.5 on the 8th. So......am I wrong for this?????? Maybe some of you have had dealings such as this with these levels.

[lexi43]

Once again I know how you must be feeling. It's very hard to let go and it's mostly guilt that makes us feel this way. You always feel there must be more I can do. I had a 19 year old cat with stats around those numbers. I kept him going on fluids twice a day like you for over a month until I knew I couldn't do this to him anymore. As long as she's not in pain you are going to have to know when to let her go. Nobody but you can make that decision. Some people can let go easier than others. I know I can't I try everything and anything to keep them with me. Everybody feels different but you have to do what's in your heart. Whatever you do my thoughts and prayers are with you and your baby.

[Lizzie07]

I went through this with my 17 yr old IG in Feb, 2010. There is nothing I can really say that might help, except, I did use Reglan to combat nausea and it helped a little. Now, my vets are giving me Cerenia. Also, I was given mitirzapin (sp?) for another dog for her IBD to get her to eat, and someone on this board was giving it to her renal failure baby to get her to eat with success. It does work and I wish I had known about it for Poppi.

I think, really I believe, you will know when it is time. For my renal girl, I made an appointment, then canceled it. I didn't feel it was time. Unfortunately, it was within a couple weeks.

My heart goes out to you. I know your heartache, as many of us do. You always have many shoulders to cry on and pour your heart out to on YT.

[Patti]

I am so sorry and can imagine how sad it is to have to go through this again so soon. I did have a 7 month old with congenital kidney failure and her BUN was off the charts, well over 400. I tried taking her to the specialist and medicine but she became so sick within 1 weeks time that she wouldn't eat or barely move. The one thing the specialist told me was that she had uremic poisoning from the toxins building up and it was making her very nauseous. She kept licking the air and that was a sign of the nausea. After 2 really bad days I made the hardest decision and let her go. I think she will let you know when she has had enough. My heart goes out to you. Hugs.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by Patti

I am so sorry and can imagine how sad it is to have to go through this again so soon. I did have a 7 month old with congenital kidney failure and her BUN was off the charts, well over 400. I tried taking her to the specialist and medicine but she became so sick within 1 weeks time that she wouldn't eat or barely move. The one thing the specialist told me was that she had uremic poisoning from the toxins building up and it was making her very nauseous. She kept licking the air and that was a sign of the nausea. After 2 really bad days I made the hardest decision and let her go. I think she will let you know when she has had enough. My heart goes out to you. Hugs.

Wow!!! Over 400???? Poor baby! I'd be a wreck!! They have Meg on Subq fluids for the toxins and I just put her on Epakitin to help with the phosphorus level. I know what you went thru because i just lost one and it just has me a wreck that she is going thru it too. I am beyond devastated and not sure how I'll ever cope with not having them with me!!!

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by bellababy08

I'm so so sorry for what you have been thru and what you are going thru now. I just can't imagine losing both my babies within days apart...Tears fall as I write this cause I do know and understand the pain you feel...and yes 15 years is a long time and a lot of love and memories that you have...I too just lost my 14 1/2 year old yorkie Bailey may she R.I.P on Oct 16, 2010...and our life as we had known it for almost 15 years change...my kids and Bailey grew up together like yours...I too didn't want to send my baby to rainbow bridge...but I went back to see her and the look in her eyes told me I had to do what was right for her...I sit my baby in my lap with my arms around her telling her how much I love her, it was very hard and I cried like a baby as she went to sleep and I helped her to rainbow bridge...I know in time you will do the same...Your babies know how much you love them and told you everyday with a tail wag...and they would want you to give that love to another very needy pet. Again I'm so so sorry

I'm sorry for you as well. It sounds like we do have similar situations. It's soul crushing!! I'm doing all that I can for her and then some! It's just so hard to let go. As sick as she has to be, she woke me up kissing me this morning. Her levels are all so high I just don't see or understand what is keeping her hanging on! Maybe she isn't ready, maybe she knows that I'm not ready....I don't know. I too will hold her as she goes to sleep. I can't imagine not being there in that way for her in her final moments.
I wish you the best and hope that we can both heal soon!!! Hugs!!

[JeanieK]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I'm sure that she is holding on just for you. But prolonging the inevitible is just causing you more pain.

You need to let her go. I know it is hard. I've been there, but it is the kindest thing you can do for her.

Bless you.

[Sterlingsmom]

From my own experience I would like to encourage you to get in touch with a pet grief counselor immediately. We lost a tiny little rescue earlier this year (we hadn't had her very long at all) and to be honest I just totally lost it. I couldn't even get out of bed for a week, my daughter had to call in sick for several days herself. It was awful. Finally my daughter in law found a grief counselor for us and it did help. Loosing a pet is just about the worst thing that I have ever gone through, I think the only thing worse would be to loose one of my children. I don't know where your belief system is but I do truely believe that when anyone, pets included, pass over - there is just a veil between us and them, and a thin one at that, they are with God and they are just waiting for us. Much love, our prayers are with you....

[Donnainohio63]

I am so very sorry for what you have and are going through. I recently lost my little girl and just like yours , she was with me at all times, sleep, car, bed no matter where I went she was with me. I know the pain you are feeling. I feel it everyday. I pray for you to have peace with what ever choice you make.

[aljopamic]

I am so sorry you are going thru this. I lost my beloved Mandy in Nov. 2007. She had renal failure and we were doing the fluids and anything and everything that we could do for her. We had her for 17 years and she was the love of our lives. The vet understood and worked with me. I made an appointment and took her in only to turn around and bring her home. In the end she let me know it was time. I won't say it was easy because it wasn't but I believe the worst thing you can do is to do anything before you are both ready. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I cannot even imagine having to do this twice in such a short span of time. I am praying for you.

[JamieP]

Originally Posted by Sterlingsmom

From my own experience I would like to encourage you to get in touch with a pet grief counselor immediately. We lost a tiny little rescue earlier this year (we hadn't had her very long at all) and to be honest I just totally lost it. I couldn't even get out of bed for a week, my daughter had to call in sick for several days herself. It was awful. Finally my daughter in law found a grief counselor for us and it did help. Loosing a pet is just about the worst thing that I have ever gone through, I think the only thing worse would be to loose one of my children. I don't know where your belief system is but I do truely believe that when anyone, pets included, pass over - there is just a veil between us and them, and a thin one at that, they are with God and they are just waiting for us. Much love, our prayers are with you....

Yes, I completely agree with you on that. When I lost the first one on the 3rd, I thought I was having a heart attack several times. Then when I wasn't feeling that, I was feeling as tho I was ready to jump out of my skin!!! I cried hysterically!! It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do to just get out in public and when I did, I had to take take breaths to just keep myself from freaking out!!! There's this void inside you that was once filled by them. That void is what is killing me! Now having to face this again with my last one just makes me want to scream. I've never felt this much grief except for the losses of my mother and grandmother. Just imagining my life without her in it, not to mention the pain that is still there from the loss of the other......
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby and I hope it's at least better for you now. Thank you for sharing your story with me. hugs!!

[bailie]

our thoughts are with you xxx

[manolos mom]

I am so sorry you are having to go thru this. We really have them for such a short time. I couldn't stand to have my Scottie pts so he finally died in our arms. Thats worse. He had labored breathing, which means he was in pain. If I had to do it over I would have pts. Sending you Big Hugs......Lissette