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I'm only 15... why do I have to even think about this??? Today my boyfriend's best friend's gf had a baby. they're both 17. So is Nathan (my boyfriend). I'm 15 and its just so hard, watching him enter adulthood without me. he's thinking about college and marriage and today, after seeing Avery (the new baby), even kids :eek: . I feel so lonely. I'm just so scared b/c I've always told myself, we're only teenagers, this relationship isnt forever. but now I'm faced with that reality, that it might actually NOT last forever. I never realized I loved him like I just did. I just feel like I cant (well, wont) give him the things he wants for a long time. and i'm scared he wont want to wait for me. Sorry if you guys dont appreciate a teenager coming in and posting about things like this. just venting. |
its stuff we have all went through and you are ONLY 15 you have your whole life ahead of you. If he cant wait for you then hes not the one for you. Keep your head up and have fun!!! At 15 i wasnt thinking about kids i was just having fun and being a teenager. You are way to young to think about marriage or kids and he should understand that. I know you love him and having an older guy can look and be cool but you gotta just be careful. All im saying is just be 15 and have fun!! Im only 20 so im not far from you! just let life take its course and relax. The only thing you should really worry about is grades. Of course we all worry about boys but put that second lol! Also my 15 yr old cousin just had a baby and its not all what she thought it would be! She hates waking up in the middle of the night and shes soo scared when the baby crys and crys and she doesnt know what to do! Shes too young to have that motherly instinct IMO! She wants to live life and be 15 and now she has a baby! TRUST ME take your time! |
Wow! I'm 22 and not even thinking about getting married...let alone having children (although I don't want children). I can't imagine being 17 and having a baby! Stay young while you can...I have a friend that got married right out of highschool and she and her husband had a lot of problems for the first couple years..they were both still trying to grow up. Now they've been married for 4 1/2 years and just within the past year have they really grown up and have a "mature" marriage. |
I have to agree with TxGurl06. You are only 15. He should understand that. You don't want to be tied down with a baby at that age. Enjoy your teenage years, you'll never get them back. If he isn't willing to wait for you then he must not care for the relationship. If he cares then he will wait for ya. :) |
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thanks. its just so confusing. |
also most and i say MOST guys that age wont take responsibilty for babies and that goes for women too. The guy is young he wants to enjoy school and doesnt want to get a job to raise and support a family! Also when you get pregnant a lot of teen age guys leave and go be with other women because your body changes and sometimes you wont look the same. Guys that young arent always mature enough to understand these changes. my cousins baby's daddy left her and slept with another girl right after the baby was born. now he is in jail and wont be out for a while for other reasons. I mean he was only 16 he honestly wasnt ready to be held down. No matter if they talked about it or not when something is pushed in on you and you feel pressured you get scared. Now like i said this is not to all young guys but to some! |
Impressed I am just impressed that you have given this that much thought....I will tell you.....although you may not want to hear it.......he probably wont be the guy you marry, so to give him what he seems to want now....will only prevent you from giving it first to the man you marry...make sense..??? Even if you decide one day.....NOT At 15.....to be intimate......then it should be after you have really, really made sure of the consequenses......and in this day.......it could be a death sentence......sorry to say.....herpes, aids.....PID....other really scary issues....just enjoy being 15.......stay busy, think of graduation, football, college, all the things that will keep your mind off of the pressure your feeling.... Good luck to you sweetie......talk to your Mom....or another older female.....they will offer good advice.... |
yea. I really really really want to go to vet school, so that's 10 more years of school before I even start my career. and I want to be comfortable with that before I even think about kids. at this point i'm not even sure I WANT kids. I want babies, but teenagers? no way. |
Talk to your folks. I have an 18 & 16 year old. My 18 year old thinks she's going on 30 and is just trying to grow up so fast, faster then kids should. You have your whole future ahead of you please don't throw that away. Being 15 means you still have a whole lot of life to live. |
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And I dont mean pressure to have sex. He's never pressured me for anything like that, but we've already "been intimate" with the right protection. And we were both virgins. And I've talked to my mom about it. That's not what I'm getting at. I'm afraid b/c he wants these things not now, but in "a few years" (direct quote from him) and I wont be ready by then. |
dont worry about a few years!! tell him in a few years you will be graduating and going to college to do something you always dreamed of doing!!! Those same things should be in his plans not kids! not yet at least!! In highschool you never know what can happen so i say take one day at a time. |
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I wouldn't worry too much (if you can help it). A lot can happen in a few years. I'm 28 and always thought I wanted kids. Now I'm not so sure whereas a year ago I had a bit of baby fever. Life will take you through so many phases... so enjoy the teen phase and keep focus on your dreams! |
Oh honey, I feel for you. I remember being 15 and in love. It's such a confusing time. Just remember your dreams and try to enjoy being a teenager. |
i'm a teenage single mother & let me tell u, it is definitely not easy!! i love my son 2 death, but i wish i would have had him later. i also think that if ur boyfriend really cares, he will wait till ur ready. it is way to hard to go 2 school/work/& have a baby. just work toward ur goals and don't let anything or anyone get in ur way. |
Sweetie, I know 1st hand how it is raising a child being a teen. I have not shared this on this site but I was 14 years old when I got pregant for my daughter Branda, she is now 17 and I'm 33. Having a baby so young took so much away from me. I missed out on so much. Personally I feel 15 is way to young to even have a boyfriend, I did not let my daughter have a b/f till she was 16 and then she was not aloud to even date. I finally let her go out with him when she turned 17 and I was so paronoid! You have to slow down! Talking about the LOVE word, you are so young and how so much life ahead of you. You are going to have so many boys come in and out of your life. This is what I have always told my daughter, If you break the egg there is no putting it back together, it's broken forever. So please becareful! Quote:
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I think the advice you have gotten so far is great! waiting to have sex is soooo important. I was pregnant at 16 and it was not easy, my daughters father fed me all the lines that i wanted to hear. He loved me, we were gong to be a family etc. My daughter turns 12 today and he is long gone. I met a great guy when she was 3 years old and that great guy is now my husband and her dad. when your a teenager you think so differently than when your an adult. You sound very mature and know what you want...follow your dreams you can so do it all! children are a blessing but they should come after you have had time to grow yourself and are done with school etc. They cant live on love alone they need soooo much. enjoy your teenage years, make some good memories :) as far as your boyfriend being "the one" hey you never know it could happen but remember if he is "the one" he will wait until your ready. |
mybabyboymax that's exactly what happened to my mom. Except she didnt meet the man she's marrying until she was 30. I'm not going to let that happen to me. this just scares me so much. ever since he saw that baby all he's said is "god i wish i could afford a kid". :eek: and I know he wants a big family and everything. At this point I want MAYBE one kid and thats not until I'm AT LEAST 30. Sure I want to get married. I want to be a vet and I want to be rich with 2 beach houses, one in Florida and one in California :rolleyes: So my goals are petty high lol. Oh yes and I want yorkies galore :D I'm just scared that if we do end up staying together it wont work b/c we dont want the same things. but i dont know. priorities change. |
Through the many heartaches Ive had, the hardest thing to hear was always.."If it's meant to be, it will be!" But, looking back now, it was always the most true! Hang in there! |
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You have a good head on your shoulder now use it. You're very smart to know this relationship won't last forever, and the last thing you need right now are kids. It's hard enough to raise babies when your adults, but it's nearly impossible for kids to raise kids. If these are the things he's looking for tell him he'll have to look somewhere else. You have the best years of your life before you. Don't let them slip away from you. |
I am 27 and I had been in relationships that I really thought would last and I wanted a baby and all that. It was to the point my ex even bought me maternity clothes ( turns out he never really planned on us having a baby, it was just a game to him :rolleyes: ) Now I thank god we didn't have any childern. I am trying to start my life over after I let myself get dependent on him. I know it would be ALOT harder if I had a child as well. I couldn't imagine being a teen with a child and having to start over. I am now where as much as I love childern, I am not sure I want any. Kinda think I perfer my furry four legged babies. Don't rush anything for this boy, its easy for a boy to walk away when it gets rough and then you are stuck with a child to raise on your own. Don't lose your teen years for some boy. |
thank you everyone for the advice. I have said this at least ten million times, but I will say it again: I dont know what I ever did without YT.:iheartu: Anyway yesterday we were talking and he wants to go to a college that will only take him one year to graduate. that means he'll be ready to start his life when I'm starting 12th grade. I feel like he's going to be starting a new stage of his life and I'm going to be left behind as some high school kid. :cry8: :cry8: :cry8: |
I totally understand where you are coming from..it dosent feel like that long ago I was in your shoes. I made the wrong decision and started having sex with my bf to "keep" him...3 kids later (the loves of my life!!) and 11 years in a hellish marriage I wish I had been strong enough to say "if Im not worth waiting for then move on" keep that in mind hun..if he isnt willing to wait for you to be ready then is it really love?? Dawn |
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AND USE LOTS OF PROTECTION!!!:thumbup: :thumbup: |
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One day at a time is right!:thumbup: Oh my kids are growing up way too fast.:eek: At 15 years old, I was playing with Barbie's,;) |
I remember being in love at 15. I thought I would spend the rest of my life with this guy. Boy, was I wrong. Although we did date 4yrs, as soon as we went to college we grew into different people and you know what? we were ok with that. We like our lives and who we had become. NOW after almost 30 yrs later we are still email buddies. He has a great life and so do I ... And believe you me. There were many more frogs before I found my prince! Seems like you have your head on straight. Keep your eyes on your goals!! chin up!;) |
Yep, I dated my 15 yr old sweetheart for about 3 years, and we parted well, but when I see who he is married to now, I always tell myself, "better her than me." So who knows what will happen once you are in college? |
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