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Zanders' mom 10-19-2007 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graleyne (Post 1445410)
I'm thinking of turning my ex in for failure to pay child support. I am tired of it. I have been very nice and understanding, but I have had enough now. It is one excuse after another. His latest is that he hasn't worked this past month because his girlfriend has been sick and he didn't want to leave her alone. :rolleyes:

He has gone an entire year at a time without paying me a dime. There have been many many months were he has only sent me partial payments - half or less than half.

He is supposed to have her on his insurance - he doesn't.
He is supposed to pay for half of any of her medical expenses - the last time she visited him he had to take her to the dr and he had the bill sent to me. He didn't pay a dime of it. He has never paid ANYTHING on any of her medical or dental.

Then he has the nerve to want to talk to me about how he supposed to be able to claim her on income tax every other year (I haven't seen that in the divorce agreement, but I wll re-read and make absolute sure). I told him that when he stepped up and did everything HE was supposed to do, we'd talk about that.

It isn't like he has to send me some ungodly amount. I mean we are talking about $400 a month. That's it.

What makes me mad is that I know if I turn him in then he will either a) not work at all, or b) work and get paid under the table so he doesn't have to turn any of it in.

I called the other night and asked if he was going to send the other half of this months payment before the end of the month. I really do need it this month. All the doctor visits and meds have put us in a tight spot. I got the same excuse, "Well, as soon as I get back to work I'll send it. The job I thought I had fell through and A (his g/f) is supposed to get some test results back and she didn't want to be here by herself so I don't want to leave her...." yadda yadda yadda. :mad:

I hate him. I really do. I'm trying very hard not to, because he is L's father and without him I wouldn't have my precious L, but I just really think he's a jerk and a half and I can't stand him.


Iiiiii feeeeelll for youu!! uuugghhh. I'm so sad that anyone has to go through this type of cr-p. Your child, his child, IS & - NEEDS to be at the forefront of his CONCERNSSS!! A girlfriend is a temporary thing. YOUR child is FOREVERrr, he needs to get that in his head. NOTHING should be taking the place of his child and responsibility. IF he does not act asap, turn him in, then maybe he will get the picture that this is REAL, your child has needs, and he is responsible for them.
Lots of luck and a biiiiggg sisterly hug.

scrappysmom 10-19-2007 11:22 AM

MY EX OWES ME 30,000 AND HE GETS IT TAKEN OUT OF HIS SOCIAL SECURITY CHECK ALL MY KIDS ARE GROWN NOW BUT HE STILL HAS TO PAY BECAUSE HE WAS SO FAR BEHIND ,MY NEW HUSBAND PAID HIS CHILD SUPPORT AND THE KIDS LIVED WITH US MOST OF THE TIME ALL THE TIME WE ASKED HER TO GO TO CHILD SUPPORT RECOVERY UNIT TO HAVE IT CHANGED SHE WOULDNT AND TO HIRE A LAWYER TO TAKE HER BACK TO COURT WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD SO SHE WAS GETTING CHILD SUPPORT AND THE KIDS DIDNT EVEN LIVE WITH HER WE EVEN HAD THE KIDS GO WITH US TO CHILD SUPPORT RECOVERY UNIT TO TELL THEM THEY SAID IT COULD ONLY BE DONE BY THE MOTHER SO SHE GOT FREE MONEY,PLUS MY HUSBANDS INSURANCE COMPANY PAID HALF OF MEDICAL BILLS WHAT THEY DONT COVER THEY WOULD HAVE TO SPILT THE COSTS WELL SHE NEVER PAID HER SHARE SO HUBBY TOOK HER TO SMALL CLAIMS COURT SHE NEVER SHOWED UP SO HE WON BUT TO THIS DAY NEVER SAW ON CENT FROM HER HAS NO JOB TO GARNISH HER WAGES PLUS WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES NOW DUE TO KIDS ARE GROWN AND THEY DONT WANT TO TELL ON THEIR MOM. SO SHE WINS AGAIN .:thumbdown

Tiggerwit 10-19-2007 01:10 PM

I suggest ya'all move here to Washington. I work in family law and this all just sounds to weird to me. We'd be in court so fast and have her butt evaluated with randum UA's, a GAL appointed for the kids, blah blah blah.

autumn star 10-19-2007 01:20 PM

Turn him in and feel no guilt! She is half HIS responsibility and the fact that the girlfriend was sick and all of his other excuses are not your daughters problems.
You as a mother need to do what is best for your child even if that means sticking it to him where it hurts!
Good luck and be strong!:thumbup:

patty58 10-19-2007 01:23 PM

My daughter has tried all of that stuff...turned him in, given all of his information to the courts....and NOTHING is being done. She got a letter the other day that they are going to garnish his wages but he will just quit...again. Texas law says they will take his license and all that stuff and even arrest him, but it never happens. He has paid maybe twice in the last 5 years!!! Really P***es me off... My son on the other hand pays twice as much for just one child and always pays. I just feel so sorry for all of the kids.

Bruce's_Mom 10-19-2007 02:03 PM

In Washington State they are pretty good about support enforcement...I had a friend who had a father in the rears over $50,000 and he was a fairly wealthy doctor, he just hated the mother so much he would not pay...Finally, they arrested him for contempt and he spent exactly 5 hours in jail, once he realized the judge was serious and would leave him there until he paid, he forked it over in one lump sum...It is amazing what a little time to think can do! I say TURN ALL THESE DEADBEATS IN!!!

lkyorkies 11-12-2007 07:27 PM

Court Tomorrow
 
I just got court papers over the weekend, the state has decided to file against my son's father for the $57,168.00 he owes in back CS w/o out informing me until now. I called today to find out if I have to be there tomorrow and they said I do??? I don't understand...when I asked for help the whole time my son was growning up I couldn't get it and now that he is an adult they want to get his father in court, for what? He will never be able to pay the amount that he owes. He is almost 60 years old! So now they are not only hauling us both into court for a mute point but, they are costing me a days work! I am so annoyed at the system..they should have done this when I was working 3 jobs!!!:mad:

mizzwanned 11-12-2007 07:30 PM

I say turn him in too. I wish my mom would have turned in my real dad but she never did cause she felt 'bad'. He basically just bought me things when he wanted to and sent me cards sometimes, never helped with real stuff like school, clothes, etc.

lkyorkies 11-12-2007 07:33 PM

My son said "Mom you have warned him for years this day would come...Now it has he needs to stand up and be a man!" He is such a good boy! What makes me mad is that when I really needed help I couldn't get it.

Ashley V 11-12-2007 07:55 PM

I haven't read the responses, but all I can say is that some men just don't deserve kids.

A couple of my coworkers were talking about this stuff at lunch today cause they are going through some nasty divorces with SOB men.

Good luck and I hope your daughter gets what owed to her, but you know what. In the end, she'll know who was there and who wasn't.

How old is she?

yorkiesmiles 11-12-2007 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lkyorkies (Post 1513617)
I just got court papers over the weekend, the state has decided to file against my son's father for the $57,168.00 he owes in back CS w/o out informing me until now. I called today to find out if I have to be there tomorrow and they said I do??? I don't understand...when I asked for help the whole time my son was growning up I couldn't get it and now that he is an adult they want to get his father in court, for what? He will never be able to pay the amount that he owes. He is almost 60 years old! So now they are not only hauling us both into court for a mute point but, they are costing me a days work! I am so annoyed at the system..they should have done this when I was working 3 jobs!!!:mad:

Don't worry about the day at of work - Let's just get him to pay you! It might be years late but you still deserve every penny.

What happened with the OP? Have you gotten anywhere?? Also, you need to check on the tax return statement in your divorce decree. When I was going thru my divorce a friend told me to get the right to claim my daughter every yr, or at the most let him claim her every 5th yr. Well, I gave up fighting & fell into the traditional every other yr that arrorneys throw in if you don't ask for anything different. Every yr I didn't get to claim her it cost me thousands of dollars. He made 5 times what I did - he didn't need the deduction. It was just to hurt me, he couldn't see how much a difference that money would have made in her life! She graduated in May, turned 18 in June and left for college at the end of Aug. - but he refused to pay support for the last 3 mths she was here - he quit paying child support before she even graduated.

Now he's hurting my daughter still - withholding $ from her while she's in college - he will destroy any chance at an adult relationship with her. These guys just stink!!!!!!!!!!

lkyorkies 11-12-2007 08:54 PM

Thanks everyone
 
We will see what happens tomorrow. I was nervous about telling my son at first but, he was good about it. He said "well that is money that you will save toward my college expenses." He is now 20. When he finished high school I signed the papers that ther regular support was to stop...That was a year and a half ago. Since my DH and I have been paying for college. They never said anything about the back support...until now. They want to see his tax papers for the last 5 years and asked for him to bring all titles to any and all property he owns including vehicles. I wonder if they plan to sell his things???
I haven't seen or talk to him in over a year...I am not looking forward to seeing him at all... As I am sure he is not wanting to see me either.
Thanks to all for letting me vent... I guess I had given up on ever collecting a dime. Maybe, they will get some of it...I can keep my fingers crossed.
Wish me luck.

Itspuppyluv 11-13-2007 12:20 AM

Sometimes they get away with it and sometimes it catches up to them so turn them in. My friend's ex never paid, went to jail, got paid under the table, all that good stuff. We never thought she would see a dime. When his parents passed away she got it all from the inheritance.

makemepretty 11-13-2007 05:39 AM

Gosh, here in Michigan I know you can go to jail if you don't pay your child support. In fact, they'll issue a warrant out on you. My brother in law hasn't had a job in YEARS and every few months he begs people for the $1500 in back child support because he'll have to go to jail if he doesn't pay it.

We don't answer phone calls from him, he only calls when he wants money.

LunasMomma 11-13-2007 06:04 AM

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. My 19 year old son's father is the same way. We've gotten a total of ---------get ready-----------------$450 in 16 years! And that was only because the IRS took his tax refund:eek: And he called me to bitch about it:laugh: He is also not involved in his son's life at all:(

He now owes in excess of $15,000:eek: And THAT is at $35 per week. He cried poor mouth to the judge, saying he was unemployed at the time, which he wasn\'t. He\'s an "under the table" kind of guy:rolleyes:

Take his @ss to court, and don\'t feel bad about doing it either! Let him sit in jail for a while, then maybe he\'ll see that the amount he is ordered to pay hardly even touches what it truly costs to raise a child.

Good luck to you:love:!!!


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