Originally Posted by celstu1 (Post 1437804)

Make sure she knows you are doing it but you are not always going to be a softy

Originally Posted by Graleyne (Post 1436904)

It just makes me so mad that she can't do anything she is supposed to do until I get mad and start yelling. Then she manages to accomplish everything she is supposed to do and more. :mad:

Originally Posted by cheryl000 (Post 1437564)

Well you have some great advice here so far. Let me give you some advice from a "bad kid who never does chores" well, at least according to my mom I was!

Let me start off by saying that I feel like I was punished WAY TOO harshly for not doing my chores. My mother decided not to take me on a trip to the Philippines while my 2 sisters went. My sisters got to meet my brother, my grandmother, my Uncle etc. I didn't get to go because I didn't do some chores. 10 years later my grandmother and uncle have passed away and I still have never met my half-brother. A punishment should fit the crime and I feel like I'm still being punished. My mother regrets all of this by the way.

Looking back the reason why I didn't do so many of the chores was that my mom always criticized every chore I did, she always went behind me and corrected it. I remember when I was 5 and I asked her if I could help fold clothes, then she said that I didn't fold them straight and that I wasn't fast enough. What is interesting is that when we were older I was the one that always wanted to surprise my parents with the house clean or with dinner, but only if they were gone so that I can clean in peace.

Anyways, the best thing to do is to keep encouraging kids to do their chores. Tell them that you appreciate what they do when they do it. Let them know why the chores need to be done and how much of a big help they are. Let them know that they need to learn how to do their own laundry because mommy isn't always going to be around.

I think that a good idea is to make the punishment fit the crime better. Make it something that will happen in real life. Have her start doing her own laundry. If she doesn't do it, then she doesn't get clean clothes! This is a REAL consequence to her actions.

Oh.. and please give her a hug and tell her thanks for being good today. Ask her what she thinks she can do so that you two have better days like today.

Originally Posted by cheryl000 (Post 1437564)

Well you have some great advice here so far. Let me give you some advice from a "bad kid who never does chores" well, at least according to my mom I was!

Let me start off by saying that I feel like I was punished WAY TOO harshly for not doing my chores. My mother decided not to take me on a trip to the Philippines while my 2 sisters went. My sisters got to meet my brother, my grandmother, my Uncle etc. I didn't get to go because I didn't do some chores. 10 years later my grandmother and uncle have passed away and I still have never met my half-brother. A punishment should fit the crime and I feel like I'm still being punished. My mother regrets all of this by the way.

Looking back the reason why I didn't do so many of the chores was that my mom always criticized every chore I did, she always went behind me and corrected it. I remember when I was 5 and I asked her if I could help fold clothes, then she said that I didn't fold them straight and that I wasn't fast enough. What is interesting is that when we were older I was the one that always wanted to surprise my parents with the house clean or with dinner, but only if they were gone so that I can clean in peace.

Anyways, the best thing to do is to keep encouraging kids to do their chores. Tell them that you appreciate what they do when they do it. Let them know why the chores need to be done and how much of a big help they are. Let them know that they need to learn how to do their own laundry because mommy isn't always going to be around.

I think that a good idea is to make the punishment fit the crime better. Make it something that will happen in real life. Have her start doing her own laundry. If she doesn't do it, then she doesn't get clean clothes! This is a REAL consequence to her actions.

Oh.. and please give her a hug and tell her thanks for being good today. Ask her what she thinks she can do so that you two have better days like today.

Originally Posted by ChestersMom (Post 1438168)

I guess most would call me a mean mom, but I wouldn't let her go. Pat Benetar had a song back in the '80's - A little too little too late. Trust me, if you nix the dance, you most likely will not go through this scenario again. Best of luck to you.

Originally Posted by Graleyne (Post 1438552)

We talked and she is going to the dance so she is happy. She is still cleaning like mad. I gave her a list and told her if I had to ask or remind her to do ONE THING on that list, then absolutely no dance. She is outside picking up doggie poop right now. :D

Right now I am the best mommy in the whole wide world - at least to my face, before she started picking up dog sh*t in the yard LOL.

Originally Posted by For My Coby (Post 1438571)

I think you did a great job. Made your point and preserved your relationship. Best of both worlds. Congrats!