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-   -   Later in life children...what's your opinion? (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/97610-later-life-children-whats-your-opinion.html)

Mardelin 10-11-2007 07:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SladesMommy (Post 1428828)
I'm 23 and my mom is 68. Not once was I ever embarrassed by people who thought she was my gradma. In fact most people now think she is at least 10 yrs younger than she really was.

My mom ALWAYS had the energy to play with me. ANd more importantly I think she had tons more patience than most young parents do. Because she was older she wasn't "work, work, work" constantly like many young parents are. We always lived a slow, unrushed, easy going life. Mom was old enough to know that one mistake or slipup wasnt' the end of the world. She had the wisdom that comes with age.

Of course i do worry about her passing before I have my own kids, but never, ever, ever would I wish I had a different mom or that things would have been different.

Hurray.......I said earlier, my mother was in her forties (she died a few days shy of her 80th birthday) when she had my two younger sisters. She had a much different relationship with my younger sisters; easier going, more patience, closer relationship. It seems she was always busier when she was raising us older ones...had less patience, worrying about this or that.....As far as energy....she was still baby sitting great grand children, traveling by herself, cruises, visiting relatives across the country. Granted it was much harder on my younger sisters when my mother passed away. Most likely because of the close relationship they had with her.

Tammyh 10-12-2007 07:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SladesMommy (Post 1428828)
I'm 23 and my mom is 68. Not once was I ever embarrassed by people who thought she was my gradma. In fact most people now think she is at least 10 yrs younger than she really was.

My mom ALWAYS had the energy to play with me. ANd more importantly I think she had tons more patience than most young parents do. Because she was older she wasn't "work, work, work" constantly like many young parents are. We always lived a slow, unrushed, easy going life. Mom was old enough to know that one mistake or slipup wasnt' the end of the world. She had the wisdom that comes with age.

Of course i do worry about her passing before I have my own kids, but never, ever, ever would I wish I had a different mom or that things would have been different.

AMEN!:thumbup:

Bizzymammabee 10-12-2007 07:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammyh (Post 1427823)
Are you still saying that if the husband of the 30 year old is over 50 she shouldn't be able to have a child? Again, it's OK for a single 30 year old to have a child but not a married 30 year old if her spouse is over a certain age? I'm not clear on your position with this scenario.

If both parents are older and there is a good chance the child will be left without ANY parents at all, I would agree that it would be selfish. But you have to admit, this scenario would be fairly rare. You mentioned 2 women above, did the 67 year old plan the pregnancy or was it a big "Holly Crap!"?:eek: I can't even imagine wanting a child at this age! As far as the woman who deceived, yes that was selfish and definitely risky for both her and the baby. I will agree with you that when it comes to a woman giving birth, after a certain age with the risks to the baby and to the mother, she's taking a risk which I would consider selfish.
Your rather mistaken. I never said that a 30 year old with a 50 year old husband shouldn't have a child. I just said and I am totally entitled to my opinion as you are to yours that older folks are being selfish in having children. While she might be fit and fine to be a mother let's be for real a 50 year old man doesn't have as much stamina to care for a young child. My dad is 58 and after a day with my son he is worn out. Never mind him having to get up and do bottle feedings and all that nonsense.

I have big problems with a 50 year old marrying a 30 year old...jmo. I see a small age difference say up to 10 years ok but I think it's a bit skeevy with the super older/younger age difference. Notice it tends to only be men that marry super younger women.

Both of those women purposefuly got pregnant even though they were older. One did the deception at a clinic and the other if I remember reading correctly decided she wanted more children and went to like Africa or some palce and got inseminated.

Mybabyboymax 10-12-2007 07:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by crystalsmom (Post 1428312)
Gosh, don't we all wish"If we only knew then what we know now"

I had my first at 23, second at 24, third at 26. and 4th at 28. I could never have started at 18, it would have been a kid raising kids. My hubby and I love children and we wanted to have a large family but we stopped at four.
Yea I think we all go through that "if we only knew then" stage, not only on parenting but on many aspects of life. Its obvious that as we get older we learn and look at things differently. I was pregnant with my first at 16 and when she was born I was 17, was it hard yes but I did a great job with her and I dont regret a thing. I was, as you put it a kid raising a kid...and turned out great. Do I suggest that teenagers have babies NO WAY but I do take offense to comments like that. I guess because all I heard from people was..oh you ruined your life, you will amount to nothing, that poor innocent child etc etc...and I think its an unfair sterotype. I guess all I could have done was prove them wrong and I did but it wasnt to "win" the arguement it was to give my daughter the life she deserved :-)

Tammyh 10-12-2007 08:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee (Post 1429538)
Your rather mistaken. I never said that a 30 year old with a 50 year old husband shouldn't have a child. I just said and I am totally entitled to my opinion as you are to yours that older folks are being selfish in having children. While she might be fit and fine to be a mother let's be for real a 50 year old man doesn't have as much stamina to care for a young child. My dad is 58 and after a day with my son he is worn out. Never mind him having to get up and do bottle feedings and all that nonsense.

I have big problems with a 50 year old marrying a 30 year old...jmo. I see a small age difference say up to 10 years ok but I think it's a bit skeevy with the super older/younger age difference. Notice it tends to only be men that marry super younger women.

Both of those women purposefuly got pregnant even though they were older. One did the deception at a clinic and the other if I remember reading correctly decided she wanted more children and went to like Africa or some palce and got inseminated.

50 years old is not that old, there are some 60 year olds out there with more energy than I have, I think it's up to each individual to determine what they are and are not cabable of. I'm 43 and I can't picture myself so old and decrepid at 50 that I couldn't handle getting up with a baby at night. Will I choose to do that at 50, heck no. But that's me, who am I to say that someone else can't.
And why on earth do you care if a 30 year old marry's a 50 year old? How on earth does it affect you? How do you know they're not completely and toally in love with each other. We fall in love with whomever we fall in love with. Yes you're entitled to your opinion and I'm curious to hear it, that's why we're all discussing this subject, we're trying to understand each others viewpoints. In MHO, unless we see harm being done to someone we need to butt out of each others lives and worry about our own. People are just to quick to judge others when they don't know anything about them.

Bizzymammabee 10-12-2007 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammyh (Post 1429613)
50 years old is not that old, there are some 60 year olds out there with more energy than I have, I think it's up to each individual to determine what they are and are not cabable of. I'm 43 and I can't picture myself so old and decrepid at 50 that I couldn't handle getting up with a baby at night. Will I choose to do that at 50, heck no. But that's me, who am I to say that someone else can't.
And why on earth do you care if a 30 year old marry's a 50 year old? How on earth does it affect you? How do you know they're not completely and toally in love with each other. We fall in love with whomever we fall in love with. Yes you're entitled to your opinion and I'm curious to hear it, that's why we're all discussing this subject, we're trying to understand each others viewpoints. In MHO, unless we see harm being done to someone we need to butt out of each others lives and worry about our own. People are just to quick to judge others when they don't know anything about them.
Hon you seem to have some big chip on your shoulder. I am not here to fight with you or anyone. I never said that they can or can't. Being a mother of three children myself I know with all the time, patience and energy associated with caring for children that no 60 year old can keep up with having a newborn. I never said that it affects me..no where did you read me saying it affected me. I made a social commentary so you need to slow your roll and stop jumping all over me in your posts. Your not trying to understand my viewpoint. You just seem to want to run all over my thought on the subject.

I am not judging anyone or their life...I simply stated that it's a bit unfair and selfish to have children that later in life. Your coming at things all sideways and refuse to see anyone's own personal opinion. But you know what I have read some other posts by you in the past and you are quick to jump on people...so I will just say and stand by my statement that I find it selfish and leave it at that.

Bizzymammabee 10-12-2007 08:57 AM
Tammyh

My apologies I thought you were someone else when I made reference to your previous posting.

Tammyh 10-12-2007 11:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee (Post 1429673)
Hon you seem to have some big chip on your shoulder. I am not here to fight with you or anyone. I never said that they can or can't. Being a mother of three children myself I know with all the time, patience and energy associated with caring for children that no 60 year old can keep up with having a newborn. I never said that it affects me..no where did you read me saying it affected me. I made a social commentary so you need to slow your roll and stop jumping all over me in your posts. Your not trying to understand my viewpoint. You just seem to want to run all over my thought on the subject.

I am not judging anyone or their life...I simply stated that it's a bit unfair and selfish to have children that later in life. Your coming at things all sideways and refuse to see anyone's own personal opinion. But you know what I have read some other posts by you in the past and you are quick to jump on people...so I will just say and stand by my statement that I find it selfish and leave it at that.
I'm truely sorry if you thought I was attacking you. I really didn't mean to. In the past I've kind of stayed out of discussions for this reason, only in the recent past have I joined in. That's the trouble with writing versus talking, things may come out differently then intended. I probably took what you said differently then intended and visa versa. Please don't take offense and I'll try to be more careful about how things may come across. I really am sorry if you felt attacked.:( I think I'll leave this discussion where it's at, I don't want to get myself in any more trouble LOL;)

Tammyh 10-12-2007 11:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee (Post 1429704)
Tammyh

My apologies I thought you were someone else when I made reference to your previous posting.

Thanks for clarifying, you had me worried there for a second!:D

crystalsmom 10-12-2007 12:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mybabyboymax (Post 1429584)
Yea I think we all go through that "if we only knew then" stage, not only on parenting but on many aspects of life. Its obvious that as we get older we learn and look at things differently. I was pregnant with my first at 16 and when she was born I was 17, was it hard yes but I did a great job with her and I dont regret a thing. I was, as you put it a kid raising a kid...and turned out great. Do I suggest that teenagers have babies NO WAY but I do take offense to comments like that. I guess because all I heard from people was..oh you ruined your life, you will amount to nothing, that poor innocent child etc etc...and I think its an unfair sterotype. I guess all I could have done was prove them wrong and I did but it wasnt to "win" the arguement it was to give my daughter the life she deserved :-)
I love this thread and it just goes to show that it is not only age that is a test as to how well we will do in some circumstances but much to do with maturity. I'm sorry that you took offense with me thinking 18 was to young to have a child. I based it on my level of maturity and my friends level of maturity at that age.

mistyinca 10-12-2007 12:44 PM
I do think someone having a child in his/her sixties is selfish.

I also think that a child deserves to be born into a family where there already is a mother and a father, rather than a father that might come along later on.

But I will leave it at that...


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