Later in life children...what's your opinion?
 

I just read that Nick Nolte (66) just had a daughter. I don't mean to offend anyone but is it only me but I feel that is just a selfish thing to do. I know that children are gods gifts to us and I really don't think that it's a good idea to have children so late in life. It's not fair to that child. I know that there are no guarantees on a long life but I do really really think it's very selfish to have them that late in life.

Please share you thoughts :rolleyes:

I don't think it's fair to the child. They'll spend most or a good part of their life without their parents.

I agree too...

I agree that's too late to be having a child. That poor kid will probably only know his parents for prabably no more than 15-20 years. It's not fair to that child...

It's not fair to the child and it's very difficult for the parents!! Maybe Nick Nolte can afford all kinds of help and maybe his wife is young, but for the average person having a child late in life.....as we say here in Philly, FUGETTABOUTIT!!

I had my children pretty young and found that it's great to go skiing with them, and doing all the things that they love to do ...what is even better I can keep up with my Grandchildren.

However, my mother (in her forties) was pregnant right along with me, both times....my 2 youngest sisters (the same age as my kids) kept my mother young and spry. She could run circles around us kids....and was still baby sitting her great grandchildren....up until she was admitted into the hospital. She past away in August, a few days shy of her 80th birthday

That is very true. I know someone who just had her 50th birthday and she has a 5 and 6year old. She seems much more young than others I know that are 50. I always think of her as being just about 40. :p

I'm 36 and I would love to have a baby! but I have terrible luck with men! I'm considering artificial insemination if I haven't met the right guy in the next couple of years. I'm "pro" later in life pregnancy- but I think 50 and over is a bit tooo late~!

Same here, I'm 32 and I haven't gotten married yet because I haven't met "the one" and I don't want to settle just for the sake of getting married. But I do want children and I know that I can't wait forever. I've considered artificial insemination as well and even talked to my doctor about it and taken the required medical tests. I've decided to give it a few more years but its definitely an option for me. Nice to know I'm not alone!

Its funny because my mother and I were talking about this exact topic at lunch today. I agree that its selfish. I had my first child at a very young age and even though I was younger than most, Im 29 and my daughter is 11 and I do like the fact that she feels like she can talk to me feels like I do get "it" as opposed to me and my mom, at 11 I felt she was the last person who would understand me lol.

I can see babies in your earlies 40's at the latest. But I think it's super duper selfish to have a child when your in your 50s and 60s.

Girl I think it totally rocks that you contemplating artificial insemination. I don't see any need to not have children if you want to as long as your ok financially.

I just wanted to add that I think there is a huge difference between 40-something and 60-something, which is what Nick Nolte is, 66! My grandmother had her first child at 40 and went on to have five in total very close in age. I just think over 40-something is too old to start a family. Just MHO.

I don't really think it's selfish. People live a long time these days and there is a good chance he'll be here long enough to raise his daughter. How old is his wife/girlfriend? She's probably young enough to have children and will be there for her for a long long time, are you saying since she fell in love with a 66 year old man she's shelfish for wanting a child and therefore shouldn't be able to have one? Yes, I'd be very sad if I lost my dad at the age of 20 or 25 but without him I also wouldn't be here at all. My sister-in-law is a "later-in-life" child and did lose both of her parents by the time she was around 20 but loved them very much and if you asked her I don't think she would have chosen different parents and if she hadn't been born I wouldn't have my wonderful nephew who is an awesome 11 year old boy. I don't really think it's my business when someone else chooses to have a child and I certainly don't think I have any right to judge them. I'll tell you who I have a problem with is the crack addict that's just had her 10th child born addicted to crack and will now live the rest of his/her life with physical, mental and emotional problems (I know someone who adopted a set of her twins and found out she's had a 10th child who will have the same problems as the rest of them). Those are the people we should be concerned with.

I really don't mean to offend anyone but this one hit a nerve with me (and I had my kids young).

We just recently had this discussion on a beautyboard I belong to. We were talking about moms in their 40's trying to get pregnant. Why invitro clinics have age limits, etc. It's just my personal opinion but unless it's an accident, if you're over 40 you shouldn't be thinking about having a baby. That would make you 50 with a 10 year old, it's just not right. I don't care how "young" you feel.

I can tell you from people I know who have older parents that it's embarassing to have a mom or dad who people will think is your grandparent. It's also hard to have an older mom or dad who doesn't have the energy to play with you or relate to what's happening in this day and age.

I also believe it's just plain cruel to have a baby if you're going to be close to 70's or later when he/she is in college. Heck, you'll be lucky to be alive when they finish high school if you have any kind of health problems in your family. It's extremely selfish to wait till later in life to have your kids. My children(12 and 10) worry about me dying and I'm in my 30's...could you imagine how they'd feel if I was closer to 60???



Ugh. This is a pet peeve of mine.

I agree that it's selfish and unfair. These kids will probably only have their parents in their life until theyre 20-ish at best. and plus, I think it would be embarrassing to have really old parents. Everyone thinks their parents are old, but a 66 year old could be mistaken for a grandmother. and that's just wrong. I think over 45 or so is where it's time to stop.

I have a friend who was 43 and her hubby 44 when they had their 4th child by surprise lol. They worried to start with but then it kept them young in so many ways. Nick would be 82 when he has a teen ager in the house if he lives that long. His wife probably wanted a child and I suppose she is alot younger but I see that as selfish on her part.

IMO there are a lot of people saying it's selfish and in a way, I agree. Although noone really knows how long they will live, you could die when you're 20 so I have mixed feelings about that subject. And besides, is it any less selfish to bring kids into this world without a father or to have families falling apart as easily as they do nowadays? How is that any different? How many people are against Nick Nolte having a baby but have no problem with artificial insemination or having kids with different fathers out of wedlock? Really, I have mixed feelings about it all but don't see how one could have a problem with Nick Nolte being so old but not with artificial insemination or divorce or unwed mothers etc. ? Just my two cents.

Well the thing is we were only asked about this subject "later in life children" Sure I'm against the other things in life but with this situation the odds are so against them and I would think if his wife wanted to have children she would have married a younger man. If she is a gold digger then it makes perfect sense. Then again that may not be the case and he could just want to flaunt his manhood???

btw I wanted to add I can see where someone would want to try artifical insemination if married.

I'm kinda sorry I added that last line. A woman who wants a child that much married or not would be a good mother and most likely give a child a wonderful life. I like to see a man in a child's life but divorce has taken that away from so many and I think every woman has to do what they feel in their own heart.

So I think that's my point. Nick Nolte's wife is much younger than he and how is that any diffent than a woman having artificial insemination with no dad? At least Nick Nolte's child will know who his dad is, and who knows, may have him in his life for a very long time and if not, is it any worse than not having a dad at all? I'm not really sure how I feel about all of this so not saying I disagree with you but just thinking out loud.....:)

judging from his most recent escapades DUI),
he should not be allowed to have children in his care anyway ..(JMHO) ..

I hope the mom is a lot younger, so she will be there for the little girl.

I know what you mean and soon women will be able to save their eggs as they do embryos and it just gets more and more complicated. I am glad you brought up the comparison.

I don't want to go too off topic but I did want to say that just because a single woman chooses to do artificial insemination doesn't mean that the child will grow up without a father. I might very well do artificial insemination at some point while I'm single, but it doesn't mean that I'll never get married. I do plan to get married one day but I don't want to rush into marriage with someone I don't love. Would it be better to get married just to have a child and have that child grow up in a home where the parents hate each other?

I want to be able to take my time to find that person I'm meant to be with. I have all the time in the world to find him, but unfortunately I don't have all the time in the world to have children. I can understand how it might be difficult for those with children to understand but just imagine what your life would be like without them. I'm just glad that the option is out there.

And that is why I have said that anyone that would go to these lengths and want a child so much would certainly be a wonderful mother. Like you said you are still young enough after you have the child to possibly marry. I consider you one of the smartest people on this site so I know it is well thought out. Best Wishes with your decision.

Go for it ... Children are G-d's gift and we need more intelligent kids that are planned ...

I am young (under 30) and not ready to have children (well, until I get my PhD, at least) ...
However, in my opinion, as long as your health is okay, you can be an 'older' mom and still keep up with your kids,
and you bring so much more experience to the table ...

there are good points to either side ..
my sister had her kids young but she never bot the chance to travel and see the world ...
and b/c they were so young, the marriage fell apart ... **sigh**
soooooooo, as they say, life is like a box of chocolates ...
you never really know what you are going to get ..

and Tony Randall was 77, when his child was born ...
his wife was 50 years younger than he was.
Randall's child was 7 years old when Tony Randall died.

You're pretty much in the same situation I was. I was in school getting my PhD while all of my friends were getting married and having children. It really hurts sometimes to feel that you have to choose between having a family or a career. But I think if you plan carefully and want it bad enough, it is possible to have both.

Aww, thanks for such a nice compliment. My comment wasn't directed at you, or anyone else just my opinion on the issue. I've had many arguements with myself on this very issue about bringing a child into the world on purpose without a father. And then one day I realized that no one said he/she wouldn't have a father. Just because a single woman has a child doesn't mean she can't get married, it happens every day. That made me feel better but I still want to wait just a bit longer because it is a pretty big decision.

I agree it's selfish. I think it's unfair to the child for them to grow up and their parents are so old that they cannot do things with them, or the parents to pass while the child is in his/her 20s. I am 20 now and my parents are in their early 50s, my grandma is 70 and if one of them were to pass i seriously think i would lose it and wouldn't know what to do. It would be great for them to still be here to see my future kids. Idk how old Nick Nolte's wife is but then again in hollywood a lot of famous men have kids with, marry wayyyy younger women so i guess the mom will be young still. I wanna have kids in a couple of yrs, cause once im in my 40s-50s i want to enjoy myself with my husband and take looong vacations :D

I agree. I think that if a woman wants children and doesn't have a partner to have them with then do whatever it takes to get them, if she is ready for them. If she wants them that much she will be a great mom!:)

I remember years ago when Anthony Quinn had a baby at around age 80, I think he died a year later. I don't think it is selfish per se, but not the brightest thing to do to have a child that late in life. Even with all the modern medicine, and plastic surgery the truth is, you are still getting older. Burdening your kids at a young age with medical issues when they are about to graduate college and the parents are about to be put into a nursing home is very unfair. I think the kids will miss out on getting to know their parents as adults, and the experience of the parents with grandchildren.