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What age to let teen start to date?? My oldest son will be 14 October 25. He has liked this girl sense March. She has come over to our house a few times and they sat out on the porch talking, we have meet her parents all that stuff. Well he wants to take her to the movies and ask her to be his girlfriend:eek: I don't know if I am ready for this. My husband is fine with this but I just don't know! My mom was strict and we did not have dates and that till we were 16!! My friends were a lot younger then me when they started to date so is 14 too young? I also do not want his grades to drop he's an A student with a 4.0 grade point right now! |
Well, it seems like he has been pretty open and honest with you about it, especially if you have met the girl. And you know that since he is pretty young, you would need to be there for driving, etc, and could chaperone. Maybe you should just sit down with your husband and discuss some rules and limitations, like they can't be alone together, or whatever makes you comfortable, and then talk to your boy about it. If you get to a point when you don't feel like you can trust what he is doing, then talk to him about what makes you uncomfortable. Encouraging him to be open with you and allowing things as long as you both can be upfront and honest is going to greatly improve your relationship! You sound like a wonderful mama! |
If I had a girl, though, I would tattoo JAILBAIT on her head and lock her in a room until she was 21!:D |
I think I was about 14 when I started to go to the movies with boys. Of course my parents sat on the other side of the theatre. As long as we weren't alone they were okay with it. I was 16 when I started to really date. They still kinda kept a close eye on me. I had to say where I was going, who all was there, and I had curfew. I believe it was 10:00. Then once I was 18 my curfew moved to 12:00 midnight, except on weekends then I was allowed to spend the night with my boyfriend, now husband. I think my parents were pretty fair with me, I never complained. :) |
If he is open and honest and you feel you trust him then i don't see a problem...However i would not allow them to go alone they are to young to not have a chaperone. I would also talk with the girls parents so you are all on the same page. Sex is starting earlier now days and to be on the safe side i would limit their Alone time.. Why not invite her family over for dinner and have a nice talk about what is expected from them including keeping grades up and no sex.. |
OMGoodness, you are likely to kill your kids if you want to talk about them not having sex at the dinner table! Why don't you leave that to your DH when they can be alone! But I think having them all over is a great idea. |
He seems really level headed, and I think he'll be ok. Besides if they want to be together they'll find a way, and I'd rather have them open and honest. This way there's no sneaking around, which could cause you a lot more problems. |
Oh boy...I feel ur pain LOL Honestly I think its great that he came to you and was open and honest about it. I know how you are feeling but i think its better to give him permission and be able to monitor their relationship than to say no and have him sneaking out and lying about where he is. Most children will go ahead and do it with or without their parents ok. |
That's a tough age. I would strongly encourage "group dates". For example...hey, do you know any others who want to see that movie? Maybe you can all go together? It does sound like he talks to you and that's WONDERFUL!! :D I would ask him to suggest limits to set and discuss them with her parents as well. If they come up with their own rules, they are more likely to follow them. :thumbup: I would be very careful about unsupervised times such as days off from school when parents are at work etc... You need some very clear limits about those times. |
I think you would be better off letting him that saying no, as then he might just do it anyway but it will be hidden. I know thats what I did, lol. |
Well, at 14 it's not like he can drive himself anywhere so you have control over where they go, that's good. I think if you're too strict it bites you in the end. I knew girls who got pregnant BEFORE they were allowed to date:( I think communication is the best, and letting him know that you trust him. I have two boys that aren't there yet but have started puberty. I had that uncomfortable talk about puberty and sex stuff with them because I wanted them to know that body changes are normal, liking the opposite sex is normal and that I've always felt only people in love have sex. Anytime someone has sex they risk bringing another life into the world and why would you do that with someone you don't love? Kuddo's to you for having a son that trusts you enough to ask and for getting good grades. |
My parents always told me that I couldn't date until I was 16. I was a good girl and never did anything (sneaking out, drinking, drugs, etc) so when I found a great guy a few months before I turned 16 they let me date him. We've been together for four years now lol My sister (will be 15 on Sept. 25) on the other hand, is more like most teenagers. She's rebellious and tells Mom & Dad she's going places with girl friends when really she's going with boys and stuff like that. This is how most teenagers react to rules like that. Now, here's my two cents, I think that you should let him go to the movies with the girl and if they start dating, tell him that he's allowed to take her out a couple times a month on weekends only & if he wants to see her other than that it'll have to be at one of their houses w/ parents home. PS - don't go to the movies with them (like sit behind them in the theatre) that really sucks. Maybe you could go to a different movie or go to supper something so you're not bored for a few hours while waiting to pick them up. |
Thank you all for the replies! I am pretty lucky that we have such a great relationship with our boy's, I couldn't ask for better kids! I like the chaperone idea! That way we could still monitor what is going on. I do not let him over to her house unless I have talked to her mother and know that she is home. I do not work outside my home, so mostly she comes over here and they will sis and talk. They also take the 10 and 12 year old on a walk around the block sometimes, but someone is always around! I am glad that he is a boy because if I had a daughter, I think that she would not be allowed out o our house till she was 21 too!! My husband would not be able to handle having girls!! |
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1 Attachment(s) My brother just had a baby girl, first kid, and grandkid in the family! And he is already talking about getting a security system to keep the boys out and her in!!! Attachment 148923 |
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