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I had a similar experience. I'm 18 now, and have been allowed to date since whenever I wanted to. I went on my first date and had my first boyfriend when I was a sophomore in highschool, but could have done it sooner if I wanted too. I think it is because my mom was so easy-going that I waited until I felt comfortable to concern myself with all that romantic stuff. I plan to parent my future children the same way. I sincerely believe that if you put all these rules and restrictions on teens, they will rebel, and do it anyway behind your back, and even push farther than they would have on their own terms. As for his grades dropping, I really don't think thats a factor here. I maintained a 4.3-4.7 GPA throughout highschool, and was accepted to every college I applied to (From Yale to UCLA to Whittier College, the small liberal arts school that I chose to attend). I think its important for teens to learn to balance a social life and academic and other responsibilities while they're still in high school, or else it will be overwhelming when they go off to college and finally are allowed to do everything that their parents never allowed them to (which is why I think partying, drinking, sex, and drug use is so prevelant on college campuses). |
OMGOSH!!!!!! I can't handle this. i have a daughter and I am just going to DIE the day I know she has S-E-X :eek: :eek: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i honestly agree with everyone that if he is coming to talk to you about it, it says a lot about him. and it's great that he is being open and honest with you. give him the same respect :) be honest with how you feel. and let him enjoy having a girlfriend but keep it somewhat controlled. sounds like you are on the right track with him :) |
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Amber, I love you, but how would you feel if your parents and your teenage boyfriend's parents talked about you too having sex, over dinner!? Lol, that would be beyond embarrassing, right? |
I have to say 16 and over is an appropriate age to "date" even then I would be pretty strict. I think 14 is too young..I have 15 and 13 year old boys and a 10 year old daughter...none want to date yet and that is fine..I mean they have "girlfriends" at school and they talk online or hang out as groups but alone time....no way no how...they dont sneak around as they havent asked to go out yet but when the time comes I will tell them they have to be 16 or over to go out together alone. My mom let me date at 14 and she always thought she was keeping a close eye on me...all it did was give me more adult feelings and thoughts. I was pregnant as a teenager so anything I can do to prevent it with my kids I will do. My common law calls my boys Momma's Boys but thats juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine with me lol...they can stay that way until they are adults as far as Im concerned...for now they are concentrating on school. I am only speaking from my own experiences but when I started dating young my focus was off school work and on boys and dating and partying as I was allowed to act more mature than I really was...hope this makes some sense...I vote for group dates and limiting the amount of time they spend together..:) Dawn |
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Dawn |
I let My Son go to the movies with a girl when he was 14. He didnt seriously date anyone untill he was 17 though |
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i have a lot to learn :) my daughter is only 6 :) |
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I am a friend AND a drill sergeant! My girls tell me everything, even things I wish they didnt.. LOL... they were both allowed to have a "friend" at 13 or 14 but there weree no "dates".. neither of them were ever allowed to ride in a vehicle, with ANYONE under 17. My 21 year old is very mature, had the ability to make her own decisions but knew to abide by the rules of the MOM... she still has a curfew and always abides and is very open about where and when she is going where... My 16 year old had a little harder time dealing with the rules but she knows where the line is, always.... we have a super open relationship and talk about things most people would never openly discuss. This makes them have trust in me that I will trust them to make their own decisions(usually always the right one) I beleive strongly to give them the responsiblity, then they will learn to accept it and behave accordingly. I am so proud of the super "people" I have raised, they are caring, smart, and very respectful.... good luck to you with your baby boy... d |
i think group dating is the way to go and as far as someone talking about how young they were when they were in each others ooms for long periods and etc. My only comment is to shake my head and wonder where in the world were the parents heads to allow this. |
Not ALL kids rebel...I did not rebel against my mother at all. My mother is a very sweet and loving mother, but she didn't hesitate to tell me no whenever she knew it was something inappropriate that I was asking. She let me go out with groups of friends (guys and girls). I had my first boyfriend at the age of 15, but was never alone with him, always with friends. I went on my first "alone" date when I was 17, but I never had a boy in my room, not even when I was engaged. My mom never came out and said "You can't have a guy in your room", but I knew that I would never put my mom in that position to have to say that to me, so I knew the boundaries that I needed to respect. I lived under my mom's roof until the day I got married. Never spent the night at my fiance's(now husband) house. |
I think I'm gonna have to stop posting in here, I've got some pretty strong opinions about some things people have said. |
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