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09-01-2007, 12:52 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,946
| I think we need a laugh, APPLICATION for WALMART This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny. NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least, one who’ll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1: 30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.? Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE? On the job -- no, on my breaks -- no. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely. SIGN HERE: OK
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09-01-2007, 01:37 PM | #2 |
I Love My Monkeys! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Falling Waters, WV
Posts: 11,166
| HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That was the best laugh I've had in a long time Thank you~ |
09-01-2007, 01:46 PM | #3 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| That was a funny one.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
09-01-2007, 01:48 PM | #4 |
Princess Poop A Lot Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado
Posts: 6,728
| HaHa - at least he/she gave honest answers...that is more than I can say for most applications I have read...
__________________ Cindy & The Rescued Gang Puppies Are Not Products! |
09-01-2007, 02:34 PM | #5 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Ohio
Posts: 201
| I wonder if he got the job |
09-01-2007, 02:43 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 9000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: North Carolina :)
Posts: 10,616
| Good one! Thanks!
__________________ Friends are God's way of apologizing for our relatives. "Love & Support Our YT Members" Gina & Princess Member of the SSLS |
09-01-2007, 02:47 PM | #7 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rio Grande do Sul - BRAZIL
Posts: 1,054
| I hope he's got the job.... |
09-01-2007, 05:08 PM | #8 |
Addicted to Tetley Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 964
| LOL! That was great. |
09-01-2007, 05:20 PM | #9 |
<3 My Little Bella Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Cape Coral, Florida
Posts: 2,143
| Oh this was goooood! I needed a good laugh.
__________________ Official Member of The cRaZy Club Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none. William Shakespeare |
09-01-2007, 06:02 PM | #10 |
Chloe's Mommy! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Cornwall, ON
Posts: 1,968
| That's too cute! I wonder if that will work for me? HAHA
__________________ Sara & Chloe |
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