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-   -   Some of you might hate me for this.. (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/92143-some-you-might-hate-me.html)

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:00 PM
Some of you might hate me for this..
 
Does anyone dread their step children??? I know it sounds horrible..and heartless..please help!!!! :(

Shadow 08-23-2007 07:20 PM
Im sure there are plenty that feel like you do. Some kids have never had any discipline and can be a pain to be around .

Cupcake 08-23-2007 07:21 PM
lol
 
I am on the opposite end. I can't stand my step mom, she is evil. :mad:

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:23 PM
Actually, i've never met this child....but i will SOON..and i don't know how i'm going to feel about it.. :confused:

Shadow 08-23-2007 07:32 PM
What do you mean?

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:36 PM
Long..long story. i'll try to make it short. i started dating this guy, that had recently broke up with someone eles, that someone was pregnant. she had the baby, and the child is now 8 months old. my guy has seen this child 3 times, she has kept the baby from him, he just won joint custody in a nasty court case. its a bunch of drama...and i hate it. i'm stuck in the middle, and now he is supposed to be getting this child for the 1st time soon.

stedmansmommy 08-23-2007 07:39 PM
Well who knows, you may absolutely fall in love with this precious little one! :) I say, wait and see what happens before you say that you dread them ;)

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stedmansmommy (Post 1326520)
Well who knows, you may absolutely fall in love with this precious little one! :) I say, wait and see what happens before you say that you dread them ;)

very true, and i've thought about this. i hope this is what happens, but i just don't know. i've had plenty of time to think about it..but the more i think, the worse it gets.

sweetr72 08-23-2007 07:44 PM
Oh a baby...you can attach to a baby quite easily...try adapting to pre-teens much much harder!! At least this child will know you from as far back as he can remember and love you like a mother...I dont think you have anything to dread lol...babies are fun!!

Dawn

xliloliverdiorx 08-23-2007 07:45 PM
are you sure that its the step child you hate or the childs mother? I mean unless you have other step children that you are talking about the child is only a baby and really the baby cant help whatevers happening.

My ex boyfriends step mom was like this too with his mother. They cannot stand eachother, they hate eachother so much that when he gets married his fiance is going to have to have two bridal showers, one with his step mom there and another with his birth mom there. I really think its alright for you to dislike the childs mother depending on if the situation is really terrible (like in my ex boyfriends step mothers situation, I can see why she hated her).

However, it seems to me if you should be hating anybody you should be dislking the birth mother if the situation with her is really that terrible.

YorkieShadow 08-23-2007 07:47 PM
Awww Its just a baby. No mouthing back or any thing. lol I think if you give it a chance youll get very close to this little one. Babys that age are too adorable. Just their smile will win you over.:D

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetr72 (Post 1326530)
Oh a baby...you can attach to a baby quite easily...try adapting to pre-teens much much harder!! At least this child will know you from as far back as he can remember and love you like a mother...I dont think you have anything to dread lol...babies are fun!!

Dawn
I know i know, i LOVE babies..and i can't even BELIEVE something like this would cross my mind. I'm just praying everything works out, and i haven't even mentioned the baby mama drama LOL

Timmy 08-23-2007 07:49 PM
Oh gosh that is a horrible situation you are in but remember this is a child and this child has no fault. He didn't ask to be in this world and let alone this situation. Also he is still young where you guys can teach him. I was in a different situation because my step daughters were older and I had a hard time but not because I hated them it was because of the baby momma drama... I love the girls though and they love me. This baby is going to grow on you and although you are feeling like you are right now might not seem right but to me it is understandable...I think its more that you are feeling like you are not going to be #1 anymore because the baby will get all the attention...trust me it will get better....the love for you child is so much different than the love for your other half. Wish you luck sweety...its going to take some time.

Oh and BTW I don't hate you for feeling like this....I've felt the same way

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xliloliverdiorx (Post 1326531)
are you sure that its the step child you hate or the childs mother? I mean unless you have other step children that you are talking about the child is only a baby and really the baby cant help whatevers happening.

My ex boyfriends step mom was like this too with his mother. They cannot stand eachother, they hate eachother so much that when he gets married his fiance is going to have to have two bridal showers, one with his step mom there and another with his birth mom there. I really think its alright for you to dislike the childs mother depending on if the situation is really terrible (like in my ex boyfriends step mothers situation, I can see why she hated her).

However, it seems to me if you should be hating anybody you should be dislking the birth mother if the situation with her is really that terrible.
It's not her, she acts stupid and has tried to cause problems..but that's her doing. And i know the child did not choose her to be the mother, it's not the child's fault. It's more the less, i'm in a strange situation, with someone i love, and a baby that isn't mine. It's alot to take in.

JoyRenee 08-23-2007 07:50 PM
Oh yes, a baby... Babies are easy to attach to. and they attach easy as well. Full of innoncense and Love. This could be such a postive experience that you could Love and think about this... This baby is a part of this man that you are seeing. That right there should make this Baby very special. ;) :) ;)

stedmansmommy 08-23-2007 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xchristiex (Post 1326524)
very true, and i've thought about this. i hope this is what happens, but i just don't know. i've had plenty of time to think about it..but the more i think, the worse it gets.
I'm sure thinking about it alot has just got you nervous is all :) I know when I "over think" too much on things (especially things that I am nervous about) - I just make myself sick over it, and then I start getting full of doubt :thumbdown

Just try and clear your head and get your mind off of it for a while (I know that's easier said that done) - and wait until you actually meet this little one. Like I said, you may absolutely fall in love, babies are very easy to get attached too :p ;)

And what the other poster said makes alot of sense - are you sure that you don't just dislike the MOTHER of the baby? Are you nervous that she may try and steal your boyfriend back now that the new baby is in the picture?

Just something that crossed my mind that I thought could be making you nervous/upset.

Shadow 08-23-2007 07:51 PM
Dread and hate are two different emotions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xliloliverdiorx (Post 1326531)
are you sure that its the step child you hate or the childs mother? I mean unless you have other step children that you are talking about the child is only a baby and really the baby cant help whatevers happening.

My ex boyfriends step mom was like this too with his mother. They cannot stand eachother, they hate eachother so much that when he gets married his fiance is going to have to have two bridal showers, one with his step mom there and another with his birth mom there. I really think its alright for you to dislike the childs mother depending on if the situation is really terrible (like in my ex boyfriends step mothers situation, I can see why she hated her).

However, it seems to me if you should be hating anybody you should be dislking the birth mother if the situation with her is really that terrible.

xchristiex 08-23-2007 07:52 PM
Thank you so much. U really do understand.

stedmansmommy 08-23-2007 07:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xchristiex (Post 1326543)
It's more the less, i'm in a strange situation, with someone i love, and a baby that isn't mine. It's alot to take in.
And you know what - that is TOTALLY understandable. I myself have never been put in that situation, but I can only imagine that it must be pretty awkward :(

xliloliverdiorx 08-23-2007 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xchristiex (Post 1326543)
It's not her, she acts stupid and has tried to cause problems..but that's her doing. And i know the child did not choose her to be the mother, it's not the child's fault. It's more the less, i'm in a strange situation, with someone i love, and a baby that isn't mine. It's alot to take in.
oh i couldnt even begin to imagine the situation you are in. But im sure you will get to know and love the baby. Goodluck!

xliloliverdiorx 08-23-2007 07:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow (Post 1326552)
Dread and hate are two different emotions.
I ment to mostly say dislike but when i start writing dislike sometimes i write hate. I didnt realize she said dread... sorry.

xchristiex 08-23-2007 08:00 PM
Thanks everyone for the feedback, it really does help writing about this, and talking to others...even if its just over the internet. I feel a little better :rolleyes:

stedmansmommy 08-23-2007 08:00 PM
Ok just one more thing and I promise I'll go away LOL :p

Just remember one very important thing throughout this whole ordeal: It is not the baby's fault :) I'm sure you already know that - but honestly, just try your hardest to love and accept the baby, and get close to it. I'm sure it will grow to love you as well :)

stedmansmommy 08-23-2007 08:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xchristiex (Post 1326573)
I feel a little better :rolleyes:
Awwww, good!!! :hug: Chin up girl!! :thumbup: Everything will be ok! :)

xchristiex 08-23-2007 08:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stedmansmommy (Post 1326575)
Awwww, good!!! :hug: Chin up girl!! :thumbup: Everything will be ok! :)
Thanks babe, maybe i just need some up lifting, that's all!

chloeandj 08-23-2007 08:10 PM
Just remember, this child only deserves love and goodness. It is not their fault.

Treat the baby as you would want your child treated, and think about if the situation was flipped and it were you in the mom's position. You don't HAVE to love this child or feel bonded with them as it is not your child, just treat her well.

mizzwanned 08-23-2007 08:11 PM
No but I dread my stepdad sometimes, actually he's just my mom's bf but for over 8 yrs. But my stepmom, dad's wife I love. She's nice

xchristiex 08-23-2007 08:15 PM
I'll post again in a couple weeks and give an update on this.. :thumbup:

wemple2 08-23-2007 08:15 PM
I think it's okay to dread something you feel uncomfortable about, there's nothing wrong with that. But you'll see once you have gotten through the awkward stage...you're going to love being a part of the babies life that your man gave life to. Good luck and try to enjoy every minute of it.

xchristiex 08-23-2007 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wemple2 (Post 1326602)
I think it's okay to dread something you feel uncomfortable about, there's nothing wrong with that. But you'll see once you have gotten through the awkward stage...you're going to love being a part of the babies life that your man gave life to. Good luck and try to enjoy every minute of it.
Thanks thanks thanks, i really appreciate that...:)


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