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-   -   A question for married people (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/91559-question-married-people.html)

yougetthesmiles 08-19-2007 08:08 AM

I'm 32, so yes I think it's to young also.

My husband just bought me a new canopy bed last year for Valentines day, so getting a new bed is out of the question. It's a Queen size bed.

The babies do have there own bed, it's in my closet lol I have converted my closet into there bedroom!, it has sliding doors, so they get plenty of air and it's a nice size closet.

When he does sleep in are bed, the kids sleep in there beds.

Jenn218 08-19-2007 08:14 AM

My husband and I have a very hard time sleeping if we are not together - I don't know why, but we have to be together....Like if he has a business trip and has to stay over night, he will call like 10x that day and he will call late when he gets to his hotel room to talk before he goes to sleep...and again, a call as soon as he wakes up.

We just have a queen bed, but only Mojo sleeps with us - Lily is in my daughters bed. I would get a bigger bed...one that he can test out to see if it helps his back....or one of those beds with different sides....like a kind bed with one half soft, the other firm, etc. I am sure they are expensive, but they may be worth it.

My grandparents (on my father's side) I don't think have ever stayed in the same bed/same room! He use to hunt at night (raccoon hunting, I think, strange, I know) and he would come in at all hours...plus, he snores. Right now, they are living in the same house (that her mother had in the 20's) and he is sleeping upstairs and she is downstairs. That is just how it has always been.

I guess...whatever works with you in your marriage.......

I would be more concerned with his back hurting sleeping on the couch every night though too. Maybe get twin beds for your room! Ha!

YorkieMom55 08-19-2007 08:28 AM

My Aunt & Uncle had a similar situation. Every night when he went to bed he was joined by their Dalmation & Rottie and my cousin's Golden from next door. There just was no room for her and she's trying to maintain her "no big dogs in the bed" policy. So one day he came home from work and ArtVanFurniture had delivered her brand new twin bed and she had them put it next to "his" dog bed in their room.

Scruffles4Ever 08-19-2007 08:33 AM

This post reminds me of the It's Me or the Dog episode on Animal Planet with the Yorkie named Bailey. Poor DH couldn't sleep in the bed with his wife because of Bailey hogging the bed. The trainer taught the parents how to make Bailey sleep in his own bed.

Missy, I know it's hard to have your babies sleep in their own bed, but in this case I think it's necessary since your husband has resorted to sleeping on the couch and is now considering getting his own room. He might be ok with the sleeping situation for now, but this could potentially cause some stress on your relationship further down the road if this continues.

Patti 08-19-2007 09:15 AM

My husband and I have slept in seperate rooms for 20 years. We have been together 37 years. He started slepping in another room when my dtr was 2 and wouldnt sleep anywhere but my bed and my yorkie zorro had breathing issues. We both were fine with it. I sleep so much better.

yougetthesmiles 08-19-2007 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scruffles4Ever (Post 1316756)
This post reminds me of the It's Me or the Dog episode on Animal Planet with the Yorkie named Bailey. Poor DH couldn't sleep in the bed with his wife because of Bailey hogging the bed. The trainer taught the parents how to make Bailey sleep in his own bed.

Missy, I know it's hard to have your babies sleep in their own bed, but in this case I think it's necessary since your husband has resorted to sleeping on the couch and is now considering getting his own room. He might be ok with the sleeping situation for now, but this could potentially cause some stress on your relationship further down the road if this continues.

It's just not the yorkies, I have told him that they will have to sleep in there own bed, but he says that I hog the bed! HA! How Rude! lol anyways, I wish we could go to a king bed, but since we just bought this new bed last year, I hate to give it up, it's just gorgeous!

BLowry 08-19-2007 11:32 AM

I hate to say this but, I would be a little concerned if my husband slept on the couch or wanted his own room. I did this with my first husband...eventually I divorced him. I am in no way insinuating that this is what's going on with you and your hubby. But, it would make me wonder. My suggestion would be to buy a new mattress...maybe this would help him. I have slept on the couch ONCE....my husband has restless leg syndrome and he is a big man. I am afraid he would kick me...and that wouldn't be a good thing.

Good Luck Missy....I hope you can find something the works for both of you.

yougetthesmiles 08-19-2007 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLowry (Post 1317057)
I hate to say this but, I would be a little concerned if my husband slept on the couch or wanted his own room. I did this with my first husband...eventually I divorced him. I am in no way insinuating that this is what's going on with you and your hubby. But, it would make me wonder. My suggestion would be to buy a new mattress...maybe this would help him. I have slept on the couch ONCE....my husband has restless leg syndrome and he is a big man. I am afraid he would kick me...and that wouldn't be a good thing.

Good Luck Missy....I hope you can find something the works for both of you.

I do know what your saying and I'm so torn. We have talked about it and I see where he is coming from.
We do have before bed time together, we read or watch TV or do what ever we want hehehe

But I just hate the thought of him wanting his own room. This is my 2nd marriage and we have a very strong marriage and I love him dearly, he would give me the moon if possible.

romeos mommy 08-19-2007 01:30 PM

Not strange at all. Let the hubby pick out the next bed.

IluvLucy 08-19-2007 02:19 PM

I think you're very young to be sleeping in separate rooms. However, if you've BOTH talked it over and agree with it, then do what feels best for the both of you. No one knows the state of your marriage like the two of you.

My parents have had separate rooms since I was 16. Mama reads until the wee hours and my Dad had to get up early for work. They've had to replace the carpet down the hall between the rooms MANY times:D They're in their
70's now and still hold hands when they're out. They kiss hello in the morning and before either leaves the house for ANY reason:p

I guess what I'm trying to say is that separate bedrooms doesn't have to mean separate lives or trouble in the marriage, but I, personally, would get a bigger bed no matter what.

paulapoo 08-19-2007 02:54 PM

My parent have been married 43 years. About 3 or 4 years ago they decided to have their "own" rooms. My father felt the need to assure me that "we meet in the middle sometimes" (T.M.I.) With frequent bathroom trips and snoring, it was the best solution for them. It has no impact on their marriage and in fact just helps because they sleep better at night so they feel better in the morning. Good luck, I hope you find a good solution.

mizzwanned 08-19-2007 03:01 PM

I don't but im not married. I think maybe if he has his own office with a futon or bed in it then it's okay. If you say your marraige is great then i'd say there's nothing to worry about. My bf complains sometimes about the yorkies on the bed because they step all over him and take his spot:p lol So...what i do is sometimes i let them sleep with us, sometimes they are fine in their beds. Just compromise:thumbup:

Yorkie3 08-19-2007 03:31 PM

We've been married 33 (in Sept.) years and I would love to have my own room. My husband snores so bad and won't do anything about it. He just had back surgery a week ago and I should have moved him to the other room, but didn't.

When hubby and son go to Scout camp over weekends or for a week during the summer, I sleep soooo good. I love waking feeling so rested. Joey is the only one who sleeps with us in our queen size bed, the other three sleep in their crates.

Hopefully before too much longer I can talk hubby into moving into the spare room. We'd both sleep better because I wouldn't be punching him telling him to QUIT THE DAMN SNORING!!!

kriston 08-19-2007 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by babi1542 (Post 1316567)
I would suggest what Morkie4 said get a good King size mattress.

Ditto That

tdessauer 08-19-2007 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles (Post 1317188)
I do know what your saying and I'm so torn. We have talked about it and I see where he is coming from.
We do have before bed time together, we read or watch TV or do what ever we want hehehe

But I just hate the thought of him wanting his own room. This is my 2nd marriage and we have a very strong marriage and I love him dearly, he would give me the moon if possible.


He wants the tv on, I need it off...He SNORES, i need silence, he sweats his butt off, I sleep with 2 comforters in the summer. It doesn't mean we don't love each other or our marriage won't work. It's whatever works for the TWO of you. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong. If YOU aren't comfortable with it then THAT is what could lead to problems, not the situation itself. Talk to him about it. Some people can't sleep without their significant other next to them...I can't sleep when he does. Everyone is different.


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