Any Other Stay-At-Home Mommies Here?? - YorkieTalk.com Forums

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 06:32 PM

I am a stay-at-home mommy of 2 toddlers. My daughter turned 4 years old in July and my son is 29 months old. Quite honestly, I am so tired and stressed lately...my daughter is super sweet but has gotten sassy some and my son is VERY active!! I suffer from chronic migraines and it makes it very difficult on some days. I used to be that girl that made men AND women stop and look....I was attractive, ran and worked out, kept myself tan.

I cared about what I looked like and had great self-confidence! Now, I have gained 30lbs., have no time for myself, wear soccer shorts and a tee shirt, no make-up and I look as tired as I feel. If I say anything to my husband, he just says, "So what, this is what you chose to do....this is what it is to be at home with the kids.". I have forgotten the old bubbly me...the cute funny Tammy. I hate that my friends don't really call me anymore because I am so teary on the phone now. I used to be that friend that they all called if they needed to laugh and now, I barely have the passion to even get on the phone to chat. I hate telling this on the internet but I don't really have any one that I can talk to. I guess I just need to hear something other than, "So what!"...like what I hear from my husband. Both of my children are writing their letters now (so incredibly proud of how smart they are!) and when we showed my husband, he was thrilled...but instead of adknowledging me, he just praised the kids. I am glad that he is good with the children, but would it hurt to praise me as well?

Oh well....I am sorry to complain, I have the most adorable, sweet beautiful children in the world (straight from their mommy's mouth!

) and I shouldn't focus on the negative. Just an extra tired day, I guess.

Tammy

LoveMyJake · 08-09-2007, 06:41 PM

Oh Tammy, I feel for you! I'm not a stay at home mom, but I've worked the evening shift at a law firm for over 20 years now so that I could be home with my kids. I sometimes felt like I worked two jobs! I had my kids close together too. My girls are 20 months apart, then my son came along when my youngest daughter wasn't quite 3. Now my kids are grown, and I have two grandchildren (2 and 4). I sometimes keep them on weekends, and I wonder how I ever managed when mine were little. I guess it's easier when you're younger, but it's still soooooo hard! I never got enough sleep, and I'm still like that. Once you've gone for years with not alot of sleep, your sleep patterns tend to get messed up. I've also had a chronic illness for the last 30or so years, so that didn't help.

It sounds like you need some "Tammy time". Soak in a nice bath with your favorite bubble bath and relax for awhile. It does help!! I know, you're probably saying "when???" lol

psugorilladdr · 08-09-2007, 06:41 PM

Aww! Hang in there. I must say, my mom is the toughest person I've ever met (It only took me almost 23 years to figure that out, and admit it to her!) Mom's are so amazing, they do so many things and the things they do most of the time goes unnoticed. I am not a mom yet, maybe one of these days, but when I am I hope to be a super mom like my momma was (and it sounds like your not much different than her!

) And, since I am starting my last year in college to become a elem teacher, it's always awesome to hear parents like you working with their kiddos. I LOVE parent involvement! Sounds like your doing an awesome job!!!

Hang in there lady!

newmommy · 08-09-2007, 06:49 PM

I just went back to work ( only 3 days a week) after being a stay at home mommy for 4 years. if you need to chat, im here, believe me I UNDERSTAND !!

cheryl000 · 08-09-2007, 06:52 PM

Hey girl, I am a SAHM too! I go to college online so that I can take care of my 5 year old and my 9 month old. This year I *almost* dropped my school down to part time so that I could get a full time job. I decided against it because I felt like I was the best person to take care of the kids.
Yes, it does drive me crazy sometimes! I think it's great that your hubby is good with the kids. You can use that to help you out as well. Since he loves spending time with them, ask him if he minds watching the kids for you after he comes home from work. This way it's easier for you to shop AND you get some quiet time to yourself. Maybe on his day off he could watch the kids while you get some more "me" time for running or doing whatever.
I also think that you should talk to your husband. Let him know how he's making you feel. You're doing an important job and he should appreciate t.
http://www.stayathomemom.com/wordpress/ is a good site for stay at home moms. You could try online college (I LOVE it!) you could also try scrapbooking. Your oldest can also help with some chores like picking up.
Good luck!

Luckyone · 08-09-2007, 06:52 PM

I work, way too much. But I used to suffer from migraines, since I was 11. Going to the chiropracter has helped a bunch and also I used to take Imatrex. Give those a try.

jp4m2 · 08-09-2007, 06:54 PM

Oh Tammy I feel for you, I think most moms have felt the same way, your not alone, only another tired, overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, mom would understand....Don't expect husbands to get where we're coming from, until they have walked in our shoes they wont fully understand, it's not their fault, he's a man....I know some days I wanted to run screaming down the road, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" ..... all I wanted was to take a pee in private, drink from a glass w/o slobber on it, take a 2 minute shower w/o an audience, & could I just sleep in til 7 a.m., that would feel so great.....As soon as you crawl to the bed and climb in things will look better in the morning, that's if no one breaks the wonderful silence of the night with a blood curdling scream....It's funny , when you don't have kids you can't ever imagine your life with them...then when you do have them you can't imagine life without them....

Tillys_mom · 08-09-2007, 06:58 PM

I know how you feel. I've been stressed a lot with family members illnesses and though my son keeps me busy all the time, I feel when I'm home I sit and think about all of those bad things all the time. I LOVE being with my son, he is the joy of my life, but we are going to be needing the money and I think personally a part time job may help me a little, just to get out of the house. So I applied places and found a part time position. Just know you aren't alone and I think the moms that stay home work the hardest sometimes.

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveMyJake

Oh Tammy, I feel for you! I'm not a stay at home mom, but I've worked the evening shift at a law firm for over 20 years now so that I could be home with my kids. I sometimes felt like I worked two jobs! I had my kids close together too. My girls are 20 months apart, then my son came along when my youngest daughter wasn't quite 3. Now my kids are grown, and I have two grandchildren (2 and 4). I sometimes keep them on weekends, and I wonder how I ever managed when mine were little. I guess it's easier when you're younger, but it's still soooooo hard! I never got enough sleep, and I'm still like that. Once you've gone for years with not alot of sleep, your sleep patterns tend to get messed up. I've also had a chronic illness for the last 30or so years, so that didn't help.

It sounds like you need some "Tammy time". Soak in a nice bath with your favorite bubble bath and relax for awhile. It does help!! I know, you're probably saying "when???" lol

Thank you for your sweet words! I know you're right, I do need some "Tammy time" but I find myself drawn back to being with my children. I want to be with them, but then again, I want a break.....doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? I do believe in what you said and I know that I need to find something just for me!

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psugorilladdr

Aww! Hang in there. I must say, my mom is the toughest person I've ever met (It only took me almost 23 years to figure that out, and admit it to her!) Mom's are so amazing, they do so many things and the things they do most of the time goes unnoticed. I am not a mom yet, maybe one of these days, but when I am I hope to be a super mom like my momma was (and it sounds like your not much different than her!

) And, since I am starting my last year in college to become a elem teacher, it's always awesome to hear parents like you working with their kiddos. I LOVE parent involvement! Sounds like your doing an awesome job!!!

Hang in there lady!

Thank you...that feels so good to read! I want to know that what I am doing is the best for my babies and I work so hard at what I do because I cherish them!! Sounds like your mom did an excellent for you to respect her like you do....hope I acheive the same!

Tammy

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newmommy

I just went back to work ( only 3 days a week) after being a stay at home mommy for 4 years. if you need to chat, im here, believe me I UNDERSTAND !!

I just sent you a PM.

newmommy · 08-09-2007, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TammyJM

I just sent you a PM.

back at cha

LoveMyJake · 08-09-2007, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TammyJM

Thank you...that feels so good to read! I want to know that what I am doing is the best for my babies and I work so hard at what I do because I cherish them!! Sounds like your mom did an excellent for you to respect her like you do....hope I acheive the same!

Tammy

Tammy, you will receive the same respect. Kids never "get it" until they're older. My oldest daughter is now 25 and has two kids of her own. She has learned what it's like to be a mom, and she is always telling me how much she appreciates me. My other two aren't married yet, but they tell me too. It will mean everything to you when you hear it!

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheryl000

Hey girl, I am a SAHM too! I go to college online so that I can take care of my 5 year old and my 9 month old. This year I *almost* dropped my school down to part time so that I could get a full time job. I decided against it because I felt like I was the best person to take care of the kids.
Yes, it does drive me crazy sometimes! I think it's great that your hubby is good with the kids. You can use that to help you out as well. Since he loves spending time with them, ask him if he minds watching the kids for you after he comes home from work. This way it's easier for you to shop AND you get some quiet time to yourself. Maybe on his day off he could watch the kids while you get some more "me" time for running or doing whatever.
I also think that you should talk to your husband. Let him know how he's making you feel. You're doing an important job and he should appreciate t.
http://www.stayathomemom.com/wordpress/ is a good site for stay at home moms. You could try online college (I LOVE it!) you could also try scrapbooking. Your oldest can also help with some chores like picking up.
Good luck!

Thank you for sharing that link with me...I have bookmarked it. As for talking to my husband, I have told him my feelings many many times and nothing changes.

When he is home, I have to be honest, he does help with the kids and he is very involved with them....I guess I am just needing some of that myself. I have thought about college but do not know anything about it online. Do you have some info that you send to me? I had planned on going back to college in 2 semesters (for Early Childhood Education). I would love to learn more about online college as well!

TammyJM · 08-09-2007, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luckyone

I work, way too much. But I used to suffer from migraines, since I was 11. Going to the chiropracter has helped a bunch and also I used to take Imatrex. Give those a try.

I have gone to a chiropactor once and would love to be able to go on a regualr basis. However, at this point, I am the only one in the family that does not have health insurance.

I do take Imitrex, in fact, I had to take one today. They help some...not like they used to, but still it's better than nothing!

08-09-2007, 06:32 PM	#1
TammyJM No Longer a Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: With My Beautiful Fur Babies! Posts: 5,525	Any Other Stay-At-Home Mommies Here?? I am a stay-at-home mommy of 2 toddlers. My daughter turned 4 years old in July and my son is 29 months old. Quite honestly, I am so tired and stressed lately...my daughter is super sweet but has gotten sassy some and my son is VERY active!! I suffer from chronic migraines and it makes it very difficult on some days. I used to be that girl that made men AND women stop and look....I was attractive, ran and worked out, kept myself tan. I cared about what I looked like and had great self-confidence! Now, I have gained 30lbs., have no time for myself, wear soccer shorts and a tee shirt, no make-up and I look as tired as I feel. If I say anything to my husband, he just says, "So what, this is what you chose to do....this is what it is to be at home with the kids.". I have forgotten the old bubbly me...the cute funny Tammy. I hate that my friends don't really call me anymore because I am so teary on the phone now. I used to be that friend that they all called if they needed to laugh and now, I barely have the passion to even get on the phone to chat. I hate telling this on the internet but I don't really have any one that I can talk to. I guess I just need to hear something other than, "So what!"...like what I hear from my husband. Both of my children are writing their letters now (so incredibly proud of how smart they are!) and when we showed my husband, he was thrilled...but instead of adknowledging me, he just praised the kids. I am glad that he is good with the children, but would it hurt to praise me as well? Oh well....I am sorry to complain, I have the most adorable, sweet beautiful children in the world (straight from their mommy's mouth! ) and I shouldn't focus on the negative. Just an extra tired day, I guess. Tammy

08-09-2007, 06:41 PM	#2
LoveMyJake I love Jackson too! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,905	Oh Tammy, I feel for you! I'm not a stay at home mom, but I've worked the evening shift at a law firm for over 20 years now so that I could be home with my kids. I sometimes felt like I worked two jobs! I had my kids close together too. My girls are 20 months apart, then my son came along when my youngest daughter wasn't quite 3. Now my kids are grown, and I have two grandchildren (2 and 4). I sometimes keep them on weekends, and I wonder how I ever managed when mine were little. I guess it's easier when you're younger, but it's still soooooo hard! I never got enough sleep, and I'm still like that. Once you've gone for years with not alot of sleep, your sleep patterns tend to get messed up. I've also had a chronic illness for the last 30or so years, so that didn't help. It sounds like you need some "Tammy time". Soak in a nice bath with your favorite bubble bath and relax for awhile. It does help!! I know, you're probably saying "when???" lol __________________ Selina, mommy to Jake and Jackson. RIP baby Lily Coming soon: Gracie

08-09-2007, 06:41 PM	#3
psugorilladdr YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 835	All You Moms Are Awesome!!! Aww! Hang in there. I must say, my mom is the toughest person I've ever met (It only took me almost 23 years to figure that out, and admit it to her!) Mom's are so amazing, they do so many things and the things they do most of the time goes unnoticed. I am not a mom yet, maybe one of these days, but when I am I hope to be a super mom like my momma was (and it sounds like your not much different than her! ) And, since I am starting my last year in college to become a elem teacher, it's always awesome to hear parents like you working with their kiddos. I LOVE parent involvement! Sounds like your doing an awesome job!!! Hang in there lady! __________________ Danielle, Bentley , and Zoey

08-09-2007, 06:49 PM	#4
newmommy Keep Me Away From eBay Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 2,109	I just went back to work ( only 3 days a week) after being a stay at home mommy for 4 years. if you need to chat, im here, believe me I UNDERSTAND !! __________________ There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face!!

08-09-2007, 06:52 PM	#5
cheryl000 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none Posts: 1,495	Hey girl, I am a SAHM too! I go to college online so that I can take care of my 5 year old and my 9 month old. This year I almost dropped my school down to part time so that I could get a full time job. I decided against it because I felt like I was the best person to take care of the kids. Yes, it does drive me crazy sometimes! I think it's great that your hubby is good with the kids. You can use that to help you out as well. Since he loves spending time with them, ask him if he minds watching the kids for you after he comes home from work. This way it's easier for you to shop AND you get some quiet time to yourself. Maybe on his day off he could watch the kids while you get some more "me" time for running or doing whatever. I also think that you should talk to your husband. Let him know how he's making you feel. You're doing an important job and he should appreciate t. http://www.stayathomemom.com/wordpress/ is a good site for stay at home moms. You could try online college (I LOVE it!) you could also try scrapbooking. Your oldest can also help with some chores like picking up. Good luck! Last edited by cheryl000; 08-09-2007 at 06:53 PM.

08-09-2007, 06:52 PM	#6
Luckyone Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, NC Posts: 1,133	I work, way too much. But I used to suffer from migraines, since I was 11. Going to the chiropracter has helped a bunch and also I used to take Imatrex. Give those a try. __________________ Bella http://www.dogster.com/dogs/539922

08-09-2007, 06:54 PM	#7
jp4m2 Love my Boys Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: w/ my boys Posts: 5,056	Oh Tammy I feel for you, I think most moms have felt the same way, your not alone, only another tired, overworked, underpaid, under appreciated, mom would understand....Don't expect husbands to get where we're coming from, until they have walked in our shoes they wont fully understand, it's not their fault, he's a man....I know some days I wanted to run screaming down the road, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" ..... all I wanted was to take a pee in private, drink from a glass w/o slobber on it, take a 2 minute shower w/o an audience, & could I just sleep in til 7 a.m., that would feel so great.....As soon as you crawl to the bed and climb in things will look better in the morning, that's if no one breaks the wonderful silence of the night with a blood curdling scream....It's funny , when you don't have kids you can't ever imagine your life with them...then when you do have them you can't imagine life without them.... __________________ B.J.mom to : Jake J.J. Jack & Joey, momma misses you..... The joy found in the companionship of a pet is a blessing not given to everyone. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too..

08-09-2007, 06:58 PM	#8
Tillys_mom Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 2,227	I know how you feel. I've been stressed a lot with family members illnesses and though my son keeps me busy all the time, I feel when I'm home I sit and think about all of those bad things all the time. I LOVE being with my son, he is the joy of my life, but we are going to be needing the money and I think personally a part time job may help me a little, just to get out of the house. So I applied places and found a part time position. Just know you aren't alone and I think the moms that stay home work the hardest sometimes. __________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.