I don't want to be unrealistic...but I'm pulling my daughter out of her day care...
 

I found cigarette butts in my daughters room. :eek: :eek: When I asked her where she got them, she said "Ms. Brenda's". I said "what were you doing with them???" She was so embarrassed and didn't want to tell me but she finally told me she was pretending. she is 6 years old!!!!!!!!!! I then asked her where she was playing with them and she said "ms. Brenda's". I asked her if she was playing by herself with them and she said no, that there were other kids doing it too. she has been going to this day care all summer...and the adults smoke when they are outside with the kids. in front of the kids.

well, i hope no one here gets offended by this but I am not a smoker...I DESPISE it...and I am VERY angry about this.

first of all, I want to know if they saw the kids playing with these. and IF they did...why didn't they contact the parents and tell them what was happening so that the parents can talk to the children?? and IF they did NOT see them....WHY???? are they not watching the kids????? am I being too sensitive? I am freaking out here. I watched my grandmother die in front of my eyes because she smoked. I cannot stand the thought that my daughter might think this is "cool" or something.

OMG..I am truly freaking out. i don't want to over-react but I seriously do not think I can take my daughter there anymore. I know she will be exposed to smoking...and I do not typically shelter my daughter. But I can't justify taking my child somewhere, paying them a LOT of money to watch my kid, and them obviously not be watching them...and in my eyes, encouraging bad behavior. I mean, if they want to smoke, they are adults and I am not EVER going to tell them not to do it...but I do feel that as a parent, I do have the right to ask them not to do it in front of my child...when they are supposed to be setting a good example for the children. I mean, in essense, they are helping to raise my child. I do not smoke...I do not condone it in my house...why would I want someone who is responsible for instilling values in my child while I am away at work during the days to do it around her??? I just think they should have the decency to do it AWAY from the children. not right there in front of them...all day every day. I have been taking Trinity there for a long time. She used to go there every day until she started school, now it is just summers. But I don't want to take her there anymore. I have always been uncomfortable with the fact that they smoke around the kids. I have always thought it was a bad example for the children. and now it is proving to be true. I should have said something a LONG time ago. I am tempted to call the state board where she is licensed and ask them if it is against any policy's to smoke in the childrens presence. They do not smoke inside...but during the summer, the kids are outside ALL THE TIME and they adults just light up right there in front of them. :mad: :mad:

am I crazy????

i think you have every right to be upset! and i dont even have kids! kids mimic everything they see when theyre that age... and thats horrible that they smoke right in front of them, not to mention second hand smoke... and leaving the cigerette buts in a place where the kids can obviously get to them? that seems really irresponsible to me. growing up my dad has always smoked... but he NEVER smoked in front of his. he would go out to the garage to smoke.. and if we were out there with him he wouldnt do it at all. have you talked to anyone at the daycare about this yet? i would be jsut as upset as you.

All of this just happened...I will address the issue tomorrow. She is not going back there at all. I work from home, I will just have to tough it out with her being here with me for the next few weeks until she starts school. I don't get much done work-wise but I have hired someone who is working full time for me so that should help a lot.

I don't blame you for being upset.

That's really weird how they would even smoke in front of the kids... I'd find a better daycare if I were you.

I would be very upset as well. Here you are not allowed to smoke within 1000 feet of a school. The nerve of those people smoking in front of children with the side effects that second hand smoke has.

I just looked up "Tn child care licensing" and came across the "Tennessee Licensing Standards for Day Care Centers" and this is what I have found so far:
***pay attention to letter D*****


(3) Caregiver's Health Requirements.

(a) Before beginning to work, each caregiver shall have written evidence of a physical examination and statement that the caregiver's general physical and mental condition will permit the individual to direct and actively participate in the activities of a group of young children. The form or statement shall be signed or stamped by a physician.

(b) An updated statement of each caregiver's physical health shall be obtained every third year or more often, if deemed necessary by the Department. A statement of a caregiver's mental or emotional health shall be obtained from a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, when deemed necessary by the Department.

(c) Each caregiver (whether employed full-time or part-time), volunteers, and others who are in contact with the children 30 or more calendar days per year shall have on file evidence of a tuberculin skin test or chest X-ray with negative results, in accordance with Department of Health recommendations. (See guidelines in Appendix B.)

(d) Caregivers shall not smoke while physically interacting with the children. Parents shall be informed if anyone in the home smokes.

(e) For the protection of children and adults, caregivers and helpers shall wash their hands immediately after changing a child's diaper, or aiding in toileting, before changing or aiding another child.

(f) For the protection of children and adults, when blood is to be handled (e.g., resulting from injury to a child or adult, from nosebleed or from spillage), vinyl or latex gloves shall be used and properly disposed of following use with/by one individual.

(g) Following a diaper change or blood spillage, surfaces shall be cleaned and sanitized with a solution of 1/4 cup chlorine bleach to one gallon of water.


So, I guess I do have a leg to stand on here....

I am a smoker and am mad right along with you!! They have no right in a childcare setting to be smoking around YOUR children! And for the children to be able to get ahold of their cigarette butts is very scary!! They have every right to have a smoke break but do it in private...not in front of the children and for god's sakes..they should at LEAST put their butts in a can and out of site!! You are very right and are doing the right thing pulling your daughter out...I would inform other parents and also the authorities!! Keep us posted!!

Dawn

this is what I am thinking....I will be calling around tomorrow :)

Children (usually toddlers) have been known to eat cigarette butts & get nicotine poisoning.:mad:

Completely unacceptable. I would be calling other parents as well and telling them what your daughter told you. It's not ok.

That is DISGUSTING that they are letting children play with those! I wonder what other trash they're allowed to play with. You are right, that those women are examples to those children. The kids that were playing with them were mimicking their behavior.

They are just being lazy about it. They could make some kind of smoking area AWAY from the children for their breaks. In California it is illegal to smoke or

I hope that you can find a better day care. Also, talk to your child about not smoking! I hope that you fight this and get them to change their ways. I'm glad that you are able to take your daughter home, but I feel bad for the others.

You'd think that out of all people, the people who care FOR children would care ABOUT their health!

I don't have children but if I did, I would be very angry about this situation too. I honestly don't even like anyone smoking around my dog (it's just as bad for their lungs). My aunts and uncles and memaw smoke on my mom's side of the family and my sister and I and cousin used to stay at my memaw's after school when we were little. I remember my sister and cousin being caught playing with cigarette butts and pretending to smoke them. Well, they both smoke now. I don't because I think it's discusting and just know better. That's really wrong for them to smoke in front of your kids and let them have access to those cigarette butts.

This is from the Tennessee Dept of human services website about child care requirements. Look on page 3, almost to the bottom on the left.
http://tennessee.gov/humanserv/adfam...ary%202006.pdf

"Smoking is not permitted in the presence of children."

Here is the webpage that tells you the child care complaint hotline number
http://www.tennessee.gov/humanserv/adfam/ccrr.htm

Things like this get under my skin. They are PAID a pretty penny to ensure your most precious child's health and safety. It is their job and responsibility. :mad:

I'd be horrified, and no matter what their explanation I'd pull her out. I use to volunteer at school, and we weren't allowed anywhere near the kids wth smokes. It sets a horrible example, and I am a smoker.

Ooh girl! I am so mad for you!

If I was closer to you, I'd march right down there with you tomorrow & kick their tushies!!!

I, too, watched my grandmother die right before my eyes. I saw her take her last breath. She died of lung cancer from smoking 3-4 packs a day all her life. She quit 4 years before she died, a few months after she quit she was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer. She died in Nov. 2003.

My Grandfather had part of his lung removed at 40-something from lung cancer. He died in Nov. 2002 from lung disease.

My Dad has COPD (a form of emphysema). And I'm terrifed to see what's going to happen with that down the road. It's not curable and it only gets worse.

If it was my child I would feel the same as you & he/she would not be going near that place again.

Have you contacted the other parents? I would...they may not know.

If I ever catch my children smoking I will beat their butts red.

Good luck, girl! You can do it. Stay strong!!! If you need any help whatsoever, let me know! I'll do whatever I can!

I absolutely agree.

No one is allowed to smoke near Chloe, even if we are outside.

If they insist, I leave. If it's at my house, they are asked to stop or leave.

OH, no :eek: that is against the law.. Do you know second hand smoke can kill before first hand smoke..

No, no, no, no, no they need to be reported. When my daughter was in pre-school a few years ago one of her pre-school teacher's smoked and one day I came to pick her up and seen that teacher standing at the corner, I said, "what are you doing way down here", she said, "I'm having a ciggaratte". That made me happy to know she DID NOT smoke in front of the kids because like you I'm not a smoker..

OMG...that is awful! You should definitely pull your daughter out of that daycare! Be sure to tell the owner why...is she one of the ones smoking? Also, if you know any of the other parents please advise them, too. They may not pull their kids, but at least you have notified them. It is illegal to smoke in a public health care/daycare/school. Is this a private home? Do they have a license? Definitely report them, too.

My parents both smoked and smoking contributed to their deaths--cancer and stroke. My children never knew my father, he died at 39, from a stroke (he smoked 2-3 packs of Pall Mall a day). They both knew and loved my mother and watched her die from cancer. Neither of my children ever smoked! I don't either! I refuse to even be around it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but please remember to let others know--I am sure other parents would want to know what their children are also being exposed to!

yes, this is a "private home" day care...the owner smokes. Yes, she is licensed. She has 3 people that work for her, and one of them smokes. She also has 2 grown sons that are there a lot (VERY sweet boys) but they also both smoke. and they ALL do it in front of the kids.

you are all completely right. I'm glad I'm not over-reacting. I was worried I would get yelled at by someone on here saying that I was being irrational because it is impossible to keep her from people that smoke...since so many people do it these days. but I just feel like any exposure to it that I can limit, it is my duty as her mother to protect her and limit all that I can. she knows what it is....but I have to keep her from getting sick because of it, and from being around influences that don't feel the need to tell the kids that it is bad for then. and the sheer fact that they are leaving them laying around so the kids can get to them...that pisses me off too!!!

I was hoping I would wake up this morning and feel better but I am still very angry. I don't have a lot of the parent's phone numbers, but one of my dear friends takes her son there, and I plan on telling her. I have to be careful tho, she is a smoker and she is very sensitive (gets her feelings hurt easy). But I'm sure she will understand how I feel. She may know some of the other parent's numbers as well.


Thank you for the hotline number...I will call it!!!!

WOW, that is outrageous, and you are right to be mad:mad: Those people are being paid to watch the children, NOT to smoke! I am a smoker, but I also am not a daycare provider. They need to be reported!

someone on another thread told me i am being "a tad bit hysterical" about this...that kids mimic what they see..

here: read the post:
________________________
I think you are being a tad bit hysterical about this Kids copy adult behavior that they see frequently. If you have a new baby they will pretend to breastfeed their baby doll. Little boys/girls will pretend to put on lipstick like Mommy. They are just trying on a behavior to see what it feels like.

This would be an excelent time to discuss with your dd the danger of smoking and how gross it is. I would also be discussing this with the director. Let her know that it has always made you uncomfortable, and now with this new development you think that their policy should be different.

_______________________

this is from a parenting forum i visit.

this is what I replied back:

____________________________

I just don't think they should be smoking around the kids. you are right...they mimic what they see...this is not something you encourage children to do. period. you know a kid mimics what they see and hear...you do not curse around the kids, you do not have sex in front of the kids, you should not smoke around the kids. it is one thing if a parent decides to smoke around their children. that is their choice....but for a day care provider to do it...that is stepping on toes of parents in my eyes.

______________________________

am I wrong?? am I being "hysterical" about it? I dont' think so. I have talked to a couple of the parents there and they are just as upset as I am. So i don't think I am out of line here.

you are NOT WRONG dont listen to them !!
i would contact someone this is so insane that would think thats ok !
the big thing is they werent watching the kids at all and they left there cig buts arounds for the kids to get

wow...i'm getting killed on that forum. they all think i'm wrong. wow.

i'm just not going to respond anymore...they are being very mean.

I would not want my child with a daycare provider who smoked, period! It is not healthy to breathe second hand smoke, especially children.

I grew up in a family of heavy smokers, my grandmother was the only one who did not..all my aunts uncles, cousins, parents and their friends smoked...I never have myself. I am not a freak about it..don't have to be....

All my "reformed" smoker friends are the ones complaining and moving if we are anywhere there is smoke...it really is funny to watch them! When they were smoking and blowing it in my face, it never dawned on them. Most have apologized profusely to me.

I am sorry you are getting bashed on the other forum. But bottom line is, it is against the law. So you are not wrong. Go with your gut here.

I don't blame you. I'd have my child out of there in a flash. There is no reason for smoking around little ones. :thumbdown Second hand smoke kills, too.

wow, i'm being called irrational, unrealistic, hysterical, overprotective, and unfair.

and i posted the exact same thing I posted here.

i'm being told that i might as well put a blindfold on my daughter for the rest of her life.

i give up. i'm just trying to help solve a potential problem with my daughter and i an being totally bashed for it.

what is wrong with the world today???

What's the site name? Is it an open forum? :p ;)

yeah, it is a msn forum

it's called "stay at home moms"

i just cancelled my membership there. i'm done

i can't believe they are saying it should be ok for them to smoke around the kids. i'm just very bothered.