I was thinking about this a bit more. I have two brothers that smoke and they light up outside when we are visiting and such. I have used these times as opportunities to have talks with my kids about what those are and what they do to people's health and why their uncles do this. HOWEVER, they are not child care workers, I do not pay them to care for my child and they do not have a license and laws to uphold. It is also my choice to allow them around my kids when they are smoking, these child care workers did not give you that choice.

i would be uncomfortable. since your child has no say in where she is when they light up it is your responsibility to make sure she has a healthy and safe environment when you are not with her.

my husband complains every time we pay kindercare about how much it's costing us. but the place Raven was before was less expensive...and when he became school-aged, less of a place i wanted him to be. (they grouped the 7-12 year olds with 1 teacher and it had a bad influence on Raven's behaviour.) so everytime Eric complains i say, "yeah. but you can't put a price on your child's safety." and it's a way more structured env.

i am not sure if the rules are the same for a home daycare as for a private or franchised daycare and you may want to look into that.

and it's a good thing you found the cigarette butts! your daughter must have known it was wrong but still been curious.

YOU'RE A GREAT MOMMY!

I would be livid! You have every right to be upset and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit bad about taking her out and letting them know EXACTLY why.:mad:

You are absolutely right to be upset, but if I may ask you something: WHY would you even put your daughter at a daycare where people smoke period? If I misunderstood your post I apologize but it sounds like you already knew that the lady, her helpers and her sons are all smokers and they do it when they are outside with the kids. I wouldn't even leave my kids anywhere there was smoking at all. Even smoking outside is bad, because they are still interacting with the children and the children are inhaling the smoke. :confused:

You have every right to be upset. I would be too! I would also take my child out of that day care.

The point is that according to TN law it is ILLEGAL for them to smoke in front of the kids. They, as licensed child care givers, are breaking the law by smoking in front of the children.

NO you are not crazy or overreacting. I am a smoker, but even I wouldnt allow my children to play with cigarette or cigarette butts. Where I live there are rules that state that if you are a child care provider you are not allowed to smoke while caring for the children. I would def call DSS or something to ask about the regulations and let them know what is going on. You are doing the right thing about voicing your opinion and making it right, dont let the daycare tell you or make you feel otherwise!!

sorry this is sooooo long...
 

I have to be honest, I cannot think of a good reason why I took her there in the first place, even knowing that the lady smoked. When I was desperately looking for child care, a very good friend of mine highly recommended this lady. I went to see her, took my daughter with me, and didn't see anything wrong with the place. I didn't ask if she smoked because I guess I assumed she would not smoke around the kids, even if she did smoke. Once I realized she was smoking around the kids, Trinity was very attached. My daughter does not deal well with change, so I decided to let it go. I struggled for a while with the fact that they smoked in front of the kids but I always thought that I was being unrealistic by asking them to change how they have done things for more than 20 years. I know that Trinity will be exposed to people smoking, I know I can't protect her from all of the evils of the world. Both of her Granny's on her dad's side smoke and so I thought, well, she see's it anyway, I just need to let her know that it is bad. And I have. I explained how my granny died (she made the trip with me to see my granny while she was in the hospital) and explained to her the health problems that come from it. I never thought she would "mimic" smoking. But as I talk to my child, (she has an amazing vocabulary and is super smart) I realize that she didn't think "pretending" would cause any problems. So then, I realized that I never explained to her about the germs that are on the butts, the risk of them making her sick, etc.

So....I now realize that by neglecting to say anything in the past about the smoking, I am now paying the price for that. I should have said something a long time ago. but this doesn't change the neglect aspect of the situation.

Somehow, they are not disposing of them properly, and IMO are not supervising the kids close enough.

let me tell you what my friend told me a few minutes ago. She takes her son there because he and Trinity are only 6 months apart in age and are sooooo close. they just love each other. She knew i had been taking Trinity there for several years so this summer, she decided to take her son there. She is a very heavy smoker, but feels the same way I do about this situation. She decided to talk to her son about it. He admitted to playing with them as well. When she asked him where the adults were, he said "they were inside with the babies, while the babies were taking nap". she said, "so, you were outside alone???" he said "yes, we always stay outside by ourselves while the babies are sleeping".

OMG :eek: :eek: :eek: so, they are leaving 5 & 6 year old kids outside alone...hmmm...well, now this just confirms my belief that they are not supervising the kids. which would explain how trinity could have been "pretending to smoke" and no one know about it.

so, i now need to talk to the day care provider about that as well.

good news is...Trinitys friend that was in her class this past year lives down the street from us. maybe 9 or 10 houses down (we live in a TIGHT subdivision). Her mom called me out of the blue this morning to see how trinity is doing. very random phone call. I explained the situation to her and she felt my anger. she understood. she offered to keep trinity for the rest of the summer for us. I talked to Trinity about this and she is very excited. she LOVES going over there!!! this lady has 3 kids close to trinity's age so she will have plenty of people to play with.

let me say this also...
 

People are asking why I am taking her out of this day care, instead of talking to the people about it and giving them a chance to rectify.

frankly, I know brenda, and I know she won't change anything. she has been doing this a very long time and has never had any problems. she honestly see's nothing wrong with the way she runs her business. I just know how she is and she will get defensive...we will get nowhere with that. so I choose to just remove trinity, explain to brenda why, and continue to talk to my child about this. She is a child...it is my job as her parent to protect her and look out for her well-being. and this is what I am doing. period.

It's your child. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone on a decision like that.

I don't give people a second chance with my kids, I would not wait to see if she rectifies the situation either. However I would report it and atleast they would be investigated and be put on some sort of record in case anything happens to a child, particularly while they are not being watched outside.

OMG I can't believe they just leave the kids outside by themselves :mad: I would probably over-react even more than you and probably sue for neglect and improper care of children. I'm really glad you found out about all this stuff happening now, to where your daughter and other children are young enough to adapt to a new place. Sorry you have to deal with this. I would talk to the other parents of the other kids if I was you and let them know what's going on, especially if they have really young kids who can't talk and explain what's happening.

I agree. The situation is completely unacceptable and should never have happened. SHAME on them! :thumbdown

wow, i thought it was bad, the smoking! but when you said the kids are outside alone that really made me :eek: !!

i do let my son go out in our front yard alone, but he's now 7. at the daycare they are to be supervised when outside period!

i'm glad that your daughter is excited about the new change.

i know..i'm freaking too. I am about to head over there to talk to her. I'll let you all know how it goes.

So they're leaving very young children outside alone & smoking near them when they ARE out there.

OMG.

I'd have them in court so fast their heads would never stop spinning!

You ARE NOT wrong in any of your feelings...fight this! They deserve it.

Sue them for every penny you have paid them to "supervise" (and I use the term loosely) your child.

This is such a horrible situation and I am so sorry that you are in it.

Is this daycare home also state funded? I ask only because I am a stay at home mother who just last November became State certified to help out my friend with her two girls. I only watch her kids. Anyway's I had to take classes and I have to follow the State Rules and post a NO SMOKING sign on my door while the girls are under my care. I do not smoke so I had no problem with this. The policy states that no person is allowed to smoke in an indoor or outdoor area attached to the house (porch) during business time. or if you are in the yard and a child is by you, you cannot smoke in front of the child.

I would also bring to your child's attention the dangers of smoking. They start this in Pre school with children in our school system where I am from, so do not think that it is to much for them to hear.

I think that you are right to be mad! I do think that you should turn them in if you can , It is wrong for them to unsupervised young kids or smoke in with the babies that are sleeping. If I was a mother of one of those babies I would like it if a parent that knew something like this to inform me so that I could pull my baby out of their daycare program.

I can't believe people on that parenting form would say all of that to you and be okay with what the daycare worker is doing. That is seriously the problem with our society now and why I don't like being around most kids - so many parents are not raising their kids right! They let them see, hear, and do whatever, no discipline, no teaching right from wrong, nothing... Kids run around wild, throw tantrums, etc. I'm shocked by some of the things I see some parents do and say around their kids - curse words and the things they talk about.. it's really no wonder why so many kids are unbearable to be around these days.

Don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong. I think you are making a great decision to pull your daughter out of daycare. You don't think smoking is acceptable and don't want your daughter to smoke, so you should limit her exposure to it as much as possible. Of course she is going to see people smoke at some point but she won't know most of those people. There is a huge difference on the impact seeing that has on a kid when it is someone they know well and someone they don't know at all. Kids want to be like the important people in their life - not some stranger they've never seen before. So your kid will be much more likely to mimic a family member or daycare worker than a stranger she meets one day.

I don't believe in going overboard in sheltering a kid (I had friends growing up that were WAY too sheltered - not allowed to do anything - and grew up to have some major issues) but you do have to shelter your kids to a point.

I would pull her out of daycare and have a talk with the daycare owner to let her know why you are pulling her out.

On another note - I like having a dog instead of a kid because I can say and do anything around her and it won't be repeated..LOL

WHAT?!? They banned smoking from restaurants and other public places, but they allow this in a daycare?!? Isn't there a rule for no smoking within a certain feet of a public place? How come there is a rule against smoking on public school grounds but not on a daycare property?

I think you are handling it better than I would to be honest. You have every right to be mad. I'm furious for you! You should never smoke around the children if you are running or working at a daycare. It's sad that people don't have common sense. They will give a child care degree to anyone it seems. I use to work at two different daycares a few years ago and that is the reason I won't send my kids to daycare. Not all of them are bad, but it just scared me. The owner would throw big parties at the daycare and would get completly trashed and forget about all the booze laying around. There would be baby food next to the beer in the refrigerator. I would take the kids out to play and they would bring me tops to beer bottles and I'd have to hide it from the others. I was sick of covering for her. That is just setting bad examples for the children. :mad:

OMG that makes me IRATE! Slam the heck out of that woman! I can't believe she would do that! Poor kids, there are even signs now that 3rd hand smoke (stuff in faberic and on ones skin) can cause cancer in adults...and KIDS!



Best of luck to you! Keep us updated!

AMEN!

i work in a daycare and that is certainly not acceptable! for many reasons including second hand smoke and also there influence on the kids! Kids look up to them that is showing them that this is okay! You should definately talk to the lady! and if she will continue i would personally find somewheres else somewheres they are more professional about things you know! I hope everything works out ! Update us!

I did talk to her yesterday. She is begging me not to pull Trinity out. She says she will make whatever changes needed to make it a better place. She immediately told me (without me asking) that she will ban herself and her workers from smoking in the presence of the kids. She said they will only be allowed to smoke upstairs in her kitchen (which is completely closed off from the day care area) or on the balcony (which is completely away from the children's vision). She offered several solutions and assured me it would not be a problem any longer. After talking to a few people about this, we have decided to give it another chance and see if ms brenda does change things. she said "effective immediately", so I assume this means i will see the changes the next time i go there.

well im glad she is going to do the right thing and change her old ways! Hope everything works out!

thank you, me too. my daughter only has 3 weeks left there until school starts, but it is good that she is changing things...the other kids will benefit from it even when we are gone.

What did she say about leaving the kids unattended?

she said that she sits by the glass door while the babies are sleeping and watches the kids. she also has a video camera on the play area outside, as well as the entrance to the day care from the parking lot, that plays on the big tv inside the baby room (i have known about this). My friend and I both voiced our concern about this and she said she will be sure someone is out there at any time there is a child outside.

I agree that they should not be smoking near the children. There will be other people who smoke in front of your children. In public places where smoking is allowed, you cant stop your daughter from being exposed. This is a good oportunity to restate your case against smoking. I agree that you should look for a new daycare. It is difficult to find someone who is good, but daily exposure to second hand smoke is really bad. I would have a long talk with my daughter about the daycare worker. Tell her that she is not a bad person, but she has a bad habit and it is dangerous to her health and your daughters health.If you continue to send your daughter there it seems like sending a mixed message. Good luck. I remember those daycare days...

This day care home sounds fishy to me. You would think that they would have to follow rules regarding your child's safety!

I am a License /Certified day care provider for the state of Ohio. I was certified this past January, and I had to take classes and I have rules the my home has to follow or I can have my License taken away. I was given a provider rules form 5101:2-14-58.

Rule U states that No home provider shall alow anyone to smoke in any indoor or outdoor space that is part of the home during the hours the home is in operation:

U (1) states that according to section 5104.0414 of the revised code, the provider shall post in a conspicuous place at the main entrance of the home.

U(2) A provider ma allow a person to smoke at the home during hours of operation if the person cannot be seen smoking by the children being cared for and if the smoke in either of the following:

(a) An indoor area that is separately ventilated from the rest of the home. A separately ventilated room is a room that is enclosed and separately ventilated, with a separate heating and cooling system and direct external exhaust to provide protection from tobacco smoke

(b) An outdoor area that is so far removed from the children cared for that they cannot inhale any smoke.

today I got there to pick my daughter up and ms. brenda pulled me aside and thanked me again for calling her on this. she said she feels so good about her decisions to change the way some things were done and she can't thank me enough for my phone call. she said she appreciates me being comfortable enough to bring it to her attention...where some parents may not be...and would just never come back...and then the problem never gets solved.

i appreciated her pulling me aside like that...it meant a lot.