Opinions Please About What Is Going On

[jp4m2]

This topic brought back some old & sometimes uncomfortable feelings when I saw it....Years ago my sister & I used to call each other all the time constantly complaining about our husbands.."You'll never guess what he did /said this time!"..this would go on for a few years,then one day WE even got sick of our own whining & complaining to each other... & it surly did nothing for the closeness we felt toward our husbands( or lack of)...then we started talking about ourselves & how we weren't so innocent in the unhappiness we where feeling....it took a lot of soul searching & brutal honesty to come to terms w/ our own responsibility in this...we where expecting our husbands to fix every thing ...we where expecting them to be responsible for our own ego & well being & when they couldn't, we hated them for it...the things we where attracted to them for we now despised...strong & confident was now arrogant to us... a go getter, someone who got things done was now interpreted as controlling ....some one who knew how to take care of every thing was now a know it all...some one who was attentive was now providing for the family & gone more & is interpreted as neglectful ....we started looking at things from his point of view ,the responsibilities he now has to take on....we even had to admit that even in the way we spoke to them was uncalled for at times...we would never have spoken to our neighbor or co worker that way, but we saved it for him...we realized that the bottom line was we did this to ourselves, we needed to find things in our lives to make us feel useful, a reason to get out of bed, we had to stop being so dependent on them, they probably didn't want that responsibility anyway....stop wanting them to protect us...we had to look at it as our men are here to share our lives, not be our lives...happiness is not a given, nor is it automatic,it's hard earned....things defiantly improved dramatically when we stopped all our nonsense, I now try & see things from his point of view & I must say a sense of humor goes a long way too....


I'm not saying that this is going on in your case but what I am trying to say is maybe there are some expectations you may be disappointed in ...but we have to bear some of the responsibility also for our own unhappiness...And yes things constantly ebb & flow through out a relationship, there are days your heart goes pitter patter just looking at him & then there are those days you can't stand to look at him ..that's real life ....I hope you guys can work your issues out also...