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-   -   Private Messages (PMs) (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/86307-private-messages-pms.html)

scrapindee 07-11-2007 01:33 PM
Private Messages (PMs)
 
Have you ever used a PM to send someone a compliment--especially someone you haven't spoken to before?

Have you ever had the respondent totally respond opposite of your expectations?


I've met some very interesting YT members through PMs over the years. Sometimes we have agreed; sometimes not; sometimes we agreed not to agree.

First time, I have sent a PM to someone on any forum, complimenting them on a response and basically saying that their perspective gave me something else/new to think about and the response was very negative.

Bizzymammabee 07-11-2007 01:37 PM
Wow sorry to hear that. Don't let it dull your enthusiasm for YT.

Ozzie'sperson 07-11-2007 01:39 PM
wow! I can't say -- fortunately -- that I have had that happen.

I'm so sorry to hear it. There seems to be a lot of negativity swirling around lately.

Is it possible that it's open to interpretation? I know I've sent e-mails before where someone thought I was MAD and I was just kidding around. That's the real downside of the Internet. You don't get the benefit of tone or facial expressions.:(

chattiesmom 07-11-2007 01:53 PM
I have been known to send a few hugs and "feel good" notes through pm's, but not nearly enough.

SJK1113 07-11-2007 01:57 PM
Wow, I'm sorry. Maybe they took things wrong or something? (Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here). I'm sorry you had a bad experience.:(

chattiesmom 07-11-2007 02:01 PM
I think I missed the point of your post. I am very sorry that you had this negative experience. Unfortunately, when we send written messages people miss out on a huge part of the communication -- the inflections in our voice and our body language. I hope that you were able to get it all straightened out. Hugs to you :ghug:

Anna Banana 07-11-2007 02:03 PM
Maybe try to explain yourself? Did the person misunderstand you? Sounds to me like a nice thing you were trying to do...

iloveemmy 07-11-2007 02:54 PM
Everyone I have PMed with has been very nice and helpful! I am sorry you have had a bad experience!

s13silviagirl 07-11-2007 02:57 PM
Thas sucks so sorry to hear. I see you are from Redlands...I assume Redlands, CA? I grew up there and graduated from RHS in '97. Small world! I miss Redlands SO much!!!! Sounds funny huh?

marcerella02 07-11-2007 03:07 PM
aww that's crappy. i love getting pm's :) maybe she misunderstood?? at least i hope that is what happened :(

IluvLucy 07-11-2007 03:58 PM
I hope it was just a misunderatanding. I love getting PM'd!

mistyinca 07-11-2007 04:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1227450)
aww that's crappy. i love getting pm's :)

LOL. Me too.:p Whenever I see that 1 or 2 up there, I get all excited..."somebody loves me!" :)

Dee, come hang with us this Saturday for the so Cal yorkie meetup! :aimeeyork

teffiemoore 07-11-2007 04:15 PM
I haven't had that happen, but I do know that sometimes in writing anything when the other person can't see your face and hear your tone in words and see sincerity, it can be taken in the opposite direction than intended..:rolleyes:

Yorkiedaze 07-11-2007 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by scrapindee (Post 1227216)
Have you ever used a PM to send someone a compliment--especially someone you haven't spoken to before?

Have you ever had the respondent totally respond opposite of your expectations?


I've met some very interesting YT members through PMs over the years. Sometimes we have agreed; sometimes not; sometimes we agreed not to agree.

First time, I have sent a PM to someone on any forum, complimenting them on a response and basically saying that their perspective gave me something else/new to think about and the response was very negative.

I've had 1,296. pms to date. All good but one. I wouldn't let whoever brushed you off worry you. Those types aren't worth even thinking about.

TammyJM 07-11-2007 05:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistyinca (Post 1227617)
LOL. Me too.:p Whenever I see that 1 or 2 up there, I get all excited..."somebody loves me!" :)

Dee, come hang with us this Saturday for the so Cal yorkie meetup! :aimeeyork
Me too! :p It is fun to get PMs from people...I love exchanging nice words about their fur babies and mine! I will, out-of-the-blue, send someone a PM if I like their avatar or a comment that they made on a thread....even if it's someone that I have never "talked" with before. I know that it would make my day if someone just sent me a PM about my dogs so I do it to make them smile. I feel like if I see a cute picture, why not let that person know that?! :)

Tammy

MissPinkBarbie 07-11-2007 05:09 PM
I've gotten that feeling of someone before too. I've also had too many nice ones to let that one bother me. I think that it's also hard to interpret a message in words as we may take it one way as it may not have been intended to be. :rolleyes:

i.e. when you speak to someone in person or hear a voice, you know what tone is being used and the moods..but when we write to one another, it is not always easy to decipher the tone being used and therefore miscommunications and misinterpretations happen.

does any of this make sense? :rolleyes:

MeganS 07-11-2007 05:11 PM
I'm sorry you had a bad expierance. :(

I love getting PMs! haha. it makes me feel special. :p I sent someone a PM a couple days ago saying how one of the puppies in their avi stole my heart when I saw him. :D


I've only gotten a negative PM once. But who cares? Out of all the PMs I have, there's only 1 that's negative. I think that says something special about the YT members.

TinyBit 07-11-2007 05:12 PM
I had several people pm me after I lost Duke. and I found it very comforting. Thanks to everyone who took time to do so.
Dawn

Nikki+2 07-11-2007 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by scrapindee (Post 1227216)
Have you ever used a PM to send someone a compliment--especially someone you haven't spoken to before?

Have you ever had the respondent totally respond opposite of your expectations?


I've met some very interesting YT members through PMs over the years. Sometimes we have agreed; sometimes not; sometimes we agreed not to agree.

First time, I have sent a PM to someone on any forum, complimenting them on a response and basically saying that their perspective gave me something else/new to think about and the response was very negative.
Wow that stinks! I haven't had that happen (knocking on wood like crazy!:p ) but it would actually really hurt my feelings. Okay, I'm off now to send you a nice PM, just like you deserve!:)

jp4m2 07-11-2007 05:57 PM
I don't get many PM's so when I do it may take a few days before I notice one...I must be the only one that sees mine & go.. "Uh oh, what did I say?"..

( man what a pessimist....:rolleyes:)

txshopper73 07-11-2007 06:01 PM
I've sent a couple of not-so-nice pm's to people and have had some sent to me. Take it with a grain of salt...it's the internet.;)

I even had someone call me a "B" on a thread once. Of course, they are no longer a member here and I got a good laugh about it.

jp4m2 07-11-2007 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by txshopper73 (Post 1227920)
I've sent a couple of not-so-nice pm's to people and have had some sent to me. Take it with a grain of salt...it's the internet.;)

I even had someone call me a "B" on a thread once. Of course, they are no longer a member here and I got a good laugh about it.
Haven't you heard, at times the "B" word is considered a compliment ....:rolleyes:

I always consider the source of a criticism...if it's from someone I considered my friend or someone I respected then after I consider if it had merit, it might hurt....

If it's someone I met a millisecond ago or someone I have little or no respect for then it definitely wouldn't send me into the fetal position looking for my binky.....

diggy4 07-11-2007 07:32 PM
No bad experiances here YET I hope I never do! Sorry you got a bad one and I agree....consider the source!

CO_yorkie_momma 07-11-2007 07:46 PM
Wow, I have not had any bad experiences yet. I usually dont even notice my pms but I have gotten several nice comments from people that were nice enough to pm me. I appreciated them for doing that and it makes a person feel like they are part of things here.

BamaFan121s 07-11-2007 08:02 PM
That's a really unfortunate thing to have happened. Try not to let it get to you too much.:)

Kodak 07-11-2007 10:04 PM
I do all the time and say hello and ask where they got their yorkie from, how many they have....blah blah. :D I also thank people for their kind words and give out well wishes to members.

livingdustmops 07-12-2007 05:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jp4m2 (Post 1228160)
If it's someone I met a millisecond ago or someone I have little or no respect for then it definitely wouldn't send me into the fetal position looking for my binky.....
Cracked up on this comment...:D :D :D

Lexi Rae 07-12-2007 07:06 AM
ive only received nice compliments..nothing ever negative... love you all:)

red98vett 07-12-2007 07:39 AM
I've had thousands of pm's go back and forth - me sending them - and receiving them ...I can only think of 2 that were negative - and those people ended up being banned for one reason or another. I can say that in all the pm's I've sent OR had ....they were all great - it's a good way to connect with people

I try to send out personal messages if someone is going thru a really hard time or lost a pet....and ok - I admit it - just to gossip too LOL :D :D :D

I can't see anyone being negative over a compliment and would have to think the pm was misunderstood...maybe it was worded so that the person didn't know they were getting a compliment ?

babi1542 07-12-2007 07:42 AM
No I haven't and hope I don't receive any in the future. I am very optimistic and choose my words carefully, If I don't have anything nice to say then I just don't answer


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