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What kind of puppy do you have now? |
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My husband really didn't like small dogs either..but now I walk in and he is loving little Piper or Punkin and telling them how they are daddies little sweeties. Its really very sweet. He will get over it. We got a mastiff to fill the big dog void and we are a big happy family. Get him his rottie as long as they grow up together things will be fine. |
My honest opinion is I would dump the guy and get the yorkie!!! Men come and go and usually never give you unconditional love, but a yorkie will always give you lots of kisses and unconditional love no matter what. Ok so I dont get slammed here for my opinion I do realize not all men are jerks, but I have to say all yorkies are lovable...lol Seriously sounds like he is way too controlling, and I do suggest since you say your keeping him, then major communication will be needed to work out any differences. Marriage is work by both people involved and not one sided- so best to find a common ground. |
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No offense, but if you are already getting one dog in May, and are ALREADY planning to get another dog after that, I can understand his frustrations. |
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If you get the Yorkie he'll probably fall in love with him/her just like a lot of macho men do! :p And, I do think that his fight was more than "just" about the dog. I've learned that men hold stuff in until there is a big fight and just let it all out! And that's what he did to you...talking about spending and such. I'm not saying get counseling, just talk it over with him. Good luck! |
Okay, not sure if I should butt in here or not but here is my advice. First of all, as a Psychologist, I do not believe that the problem is truly the Yorkie. Most likely there are some underlying issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with and he is using the Yorkie as an excuse. I also do not think that your bf has a control issue (I could be wrong, I am only going off what you have said here). His behavior sounds like a normal reaction to the amount of money you have spent for a dog that is a year or two away. From some of the other posts that you have made, it sounds like you may have an issue with compulsive spending. Ask yourself this: How do you feel when you make these purchases? Do you buy things that you really don't have any use for or want? Are you spending more than you can afford? How does it affect your personal relationships with others and your feelings toward yourself? This does NOT mean that you are to blame for any problems in the relationship. It may just be one of a multitude of issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. It sounds like the two of you have not openly dealt with the issues of children, living arrangements, finances, and so forth that are key to any marriage being successful. My advice is to go to pre-marital counseling immediately to work on these issues. I think that after the two of you work on these issues, learn how to openly communicate and learn some conflict resolution tools, you will find that he is much more open to the possibility of bringing a Yorkie into your lives. He needs to understand that every relationship is full of give and take and if you really feel a need to have a Yorkie in your life, that might just need to be one of his "gives". Again, I might be completely wrong here, these are just my observations. If any of this is helpful to you at all, then just let me know where to send my bill :wink: I truly wish you the best and think that with a little work (and any relationship worth having requires work) that the two of you will have a healthy long lasting relationship that others will be envious of. |
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To add to what I said, it upset me more that I had to tell the bag owner I couldn't buy her stuff--I'm not the kind of person who tells someone something and then goes back on her word. That's more of why I was so upset really. I think if I saw my bf paying for something that he didn't need (because let's face it I DIDN'T need this stuff...) I'd question him. I'm not sure I would have flipped out, but I probably would have given the cold shoulder. I believe that he's right about the money thing, but the biggest problem is that he just doesn't like the little dogs. I said in a previous update post that we worked it all out and we're going to have the heart to heart talk when the time is right, and he's willing to work with me on the little dog thing, however long I wait. It all just depends on the way life plans out. We definitely don't need the counseling though as people have suggested. All of our friends and parents consider us to have the most stable relationship for two young people. I agree, but I'm not going to say we don't have issues. But I don't believe there is a PERFECT man out there. There just isn't. Just like I don't think there's a perfect woman. I'm by NO means perfect...I can be so annoying sometimes I think (lol) and he just lets all of my little petty things go. Vice versa he can be weird and annoying too. We're all entitled to our own quirks and just because he doesn't like little dogs and thinks I shouldn't spend $$ on a non-existent dog (Which he's right, I just always see it later haha) doesn't mean we need counseling. |
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So may be you could try selling the yorkie on the training angle with him! Yorkies are definitely still all dog - even if they just happen to look FABULOUS in clothes. They are also super smart dogs - once you know what motivates them they pick stuff up really quickly. My two do agility and I know some people do competition obedience with yorkies - but I think you'd need better patience than I do to do that! When you get your puppy get the puppy and your bloke along to a training class (ideally one that uses positive re-inforcement methods). Training is one of the best ways to build a happy, healthy relationship between you and your dog - or at least that's what I find. You don't have to do competition obedience to enjoy training your dog - we're not even particularly good agility - but we all enjoy it - me, Dougal and Dixie. That's just my point of view - I hope I don't come across as preachy, I don't mean to:rolleyes: . |
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I have had some relationships like the one you are going through and I was told that I care more about the dog then him. So what I think is going on is a little insecurity with your boyfriend. |
Sounds like it is something else I was thinking of your situation.....and it sounds like some underlying issues.....maybe he is a bit jealous of the "soon to be Yorkie". I know it sounds weird.....but, guys are weird anyway......it sounds like he may has a tad of jealousy about you giving your attention to something besides him.....or maybe it is the money thing.......so maybe start putting 25-50 dollars a week in a sock and put it under the mattress....then when you find the puppy....you will have the money right there...... If you like to read, I suggest a book called "Men are from mars, women from Venus". I am here to tell you..........Guys just dont get us!!!!!! They have no idea why we are like we are.....period.... Good luck....you do really need to resolve this.....or mutally discuss this issue....because I do suspect that this will happen again with something else in your relationship......:thumbup: |
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