thank you ...My husband is not a mean guy . he does give me whatever i want , but sometime he goes threw a faze or something thinks he wants to be boss.. :animal-pa

It's the testosterone, it'll get them in trouble every time!

I'll have to try and find it for you!!! LOL :p

I'm sorry to say this but I don't think those issues should be discussed on the forum (at least this one). It's very easy to start jumping into conclusions and give opinions not knowing the situation (eg saying the Ayorkielover should get a divorce). It's my opinion but it's very easy to type something hotheaded and click Submit before rethinking it, and it can easily hurt feelings and create a bad atmosphere... IMO.

omg :eek: he wants you to lose weight or pay him back for your yorkie?
you can sort this out with one word tell him no to both:mad:
whats he gonna do if you dont lose weight?
if you dont pay him back?
if you dont breed the dog?
NOTHING:mad: maybe sulk?

I think your husband is a JERK.

I'm sorry honey but I don't see much future in a relationship with this man. He is obviously controlling and psychologically abusive.

I'm not sure what you see in him, but I can tell you that he does not see much in you.

I'd take my dogs and leave.

Oh yeah I remember that one. She claimed the sory was going to be on CNN.

The reason some people are doubting the reality of this is because, in some peoples lives, it is totally unbelievable that, in todays world, a man would treat his wife like this and the wife would not have already ripped his head off and handed it back to him.

I hope the advice and support you get from people on here make you a strong enough person to stand up to this man.

I lived 17 years with a psychologically abusive man. He contolled me by putting me down. I finally got up courage to get rid of him and I instantly gained control of my life and self confidence.

You would not believe all of the things that I have done since divorcing him, that I never thought I could do. Graduating from college is just one of them.

Next time he comes up with one of his asbsurd requests look him straight in the eye, and tell him. "YA In your dreams"

Okay, here ya go! Have fun reading. :p

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43886

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43985

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44108

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45480

Well, no doubt that your husband is controlling; I think I remember reading on one of your posts that your pretty laid back. It is not unusual for one partner to be more controlling. Older men and men in certain cultures think this is what being a "man" is all about." I'll bet, as you have gotten older, you have become more outspoken, this may or may not sit well with your husband, but people grow and change through the years.

I'm not one of those people who believe in breaking up a marriage over something like this, but I do believe in negotiating. Your husband has let you have your way by saying that you don't have to breed your Yorkies. This is a concession on his part. After all, looking it from his point of view, he was hoping to make some money off of all this. To most men, dogs have been breeding for years just fine, and in nature males may often be the bigger stronger dogs. So your husband gave into you and now is asking the same thing 90% of our husbands would ask, if ours were so sensitive or scared! So now it's up to you to decide if you want to accept his request of losing weight. Maybe this is the incentive you need. Even people with eating disorders can lose weight sensibly. You might decide, for example, that the whole family gets a healthy lifestyle plan and that you will need everyone's support in order to lose weight. This involves not buying or making any junk food, healthy eating and exercise. In other words you can accept or reject his counter offer and after hearing he'll be dieting too, he may accept or reject your offer. There may be other things that he really wants rather than you losing weight.

I think most experts agree that each party in a marriage should have an allowance, a certain amount of money that is theirs to spend any way they see fit. Even if you don't work outside the home, you contribute immeasurably. The amount of money you two decide on should be equal. You could then pay him back a little each week.

I noticed on another thread that you complained (in jest) that your husband never helped you with the Christmas tree. I'm sure he does some things you like. Find these things and praise him every time he does something good, just like you do your dogs! Could your husband being feeling a little unloved too?

Now, I'm going to read all those other threads.


Nancy

I can't believe this!!
 

I can not believe some of the responses going out to this person. She has come on hear to vent her issues! I agree...this probably isn't the right place to do it but, what if she only has YT to vent to! She has come here to vent her problems....We don't live in her house and have no idea what she goes through every day...Maybe she is a "troll" as someone here said but, you don't know that! Give this poor girl the benefit of the doubt and give her good advice as in...seeking professional help...It sounds to me like she loves her husband or she wouldn't be staying with him....I believe they BOTH need to seek help..it's very easy for some to sit back and say "kick him to the curb"
or "get rid of him"...I was married to a verbally/emotionally abusive alcoholic for 19 yrs before I finally "decided" I'd had enough...only mine was the opposite....people wanted me to stay not leave...they only saw the good side of him but, NOBODY knew what I was living with! Please lets try to convince her to get help...

My :twocents: for what it's worth

And to the girl going through this...my heart goes out to you...I really hope you go for professional help..maybe hubby will go and open his eyes.

I have no comment except to say that I hope things turn out well for you! Hold your head up and be PROUD of yourself!

Ok...how about this....
 

oh heck...forget it.....it was a nasty thing to say........and it is not my place....


But, he is a real a-- if you ask me....

:thumbdown

I wish you luck with this, I hear this kinda thing alot lately...it is unreal...
this is what i would do.....while paying him back a little at a time, everything you do for him, give with a bill of what he owes....like laundry, dinner, breakfast, lunch, baking, cleaning, washing windows..ironing etc.....

or give him a paper with the cost of your puppy and as you do things for him deduct what you think it is worth....and each time give him the copy of it .. and ummm if it was me..i would be sleeping on the sofa :) unless he wanted to pay for lovin, lol
oh i can be a bi#$^ if need be.
again, I wish you luck with him......

I've read some of your posts & replies and can see where they may cause doubt in one's mind. For one when you type you never make mention of what family members think. Who knows, this may be your way of venting w/o involving family. Then it sounds more make believe, because some of us feel there's no way in hell anyone would tolerate this. You appear to come off knowing better, but you type showing self esteem issues. It's as if this man heads your life & tells you when to eat, sleep, sh@$ and drink. In today's society, I know myself as a woman would not believe this would be happening. Not with all these talk shows and self empowerment books out here. We don't know you or each other from Adam, we are going by what you type. It seems you are married to a dictator, and yes his azz would be kicked to the curb if it were me. You know the expression "we can do bad by ourselves", it's actually "we can do better by ourselves." I think you need to put your foot down and demand somethings yourself. Not trying to put you down, JMO. If I ask my SO for something & he says I'll give you half, then he helped. If he says, I'm saving some money up for blahblah, I'll give you that but I need it back in savings, then I'm putting it back. But I don't OWE him shyt, and I'm not dieting to compensate for a peanut of a brain for a person to ask that of me. :thumbdown :mad:

I sorta agree with your reply about certain issues being discussed here, but the question involved a yorkie so she opened herself up to these replies. If she like it, I love it, and I reread my reply before clicking because it's JMO. Not trying to hurt feelings, but people will type their minds in an open forum.

:eek: well i guess i was wrong to come to this site to get advice about my personal life I see that this site dont wont to hear about it, so im sorry if I affended anyone I will not post again about it.

I agree. :thumbup:

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I wish you all the best of luck and I really hope everything works out for you.

What you must remember is that this is a open forum & everyone is intitialed to their opinion. When you put your business on here you have to be prepared for the outcome. There is no need to leave this forum, it's all about YORKIES! You have a yorkie and we love yorkies, you tell us happy things about your yorkie and we reply happy responses.

You were given advice. I'm not sure what you were expecting. Did you think we were going to tell you that our husbands are the same way, and oh my aren't men terrible.

Most of us are shocked that your husband would say those things, and then you turn around and defend him saying he is really a nice guy. No he really isn't he is an Ass that has nice moments.

IMO this looks like a classic abuse case. Where the woman defends the guy one day and is seeking help the next.

If my hubby would say that to me there would be ((((WAR)))
How old is your husband he sound like he is a teen to 30???
he sound very childish..not muture at all..
most older men would not even care..
Be tough lose the wieght than
STRUT YOURSELF
HE WON'T LIKE THAT
BUT YOU WILL BE A BETTER BABE with a beautiful YORKIE

you have every right to put what you like about your personal life on here, ITS YOUR LIFE no one elses.
there are a lot of strong minded ladies on here including me who just wouldnt put up with a man treating us like this so to us it might seem strange for another women to put up with it, but that doesnt mean we think you are lieing, people sometimes finder it easyer to ask a strangers advice than someone they know and i guess thats all you are doing.
so please if you do have bad problems at home dont be to shy to ask for advice on here cos there are a lot of nice people on here who will try to help without judging you.:)

whats the womens site that some yorkie ladies go on?
ive book marked it but cant remember address.
as that would prob be the best place to ask for advice.:)

My ex-husband was controlling as well. The key word is "Ex."
He used to tell me not to eat too much so I won't gain weight. Let's just say I was size 0 that time. He used to compare me with sister-in-law who was skinny and pretty and younger.
So I left him and I am much happier.
I am still single after 8 years and I probably won't find another person to marry. It makes me sad but I rather be alone than being with someone who tells me to lose weight or not pretty enough or so on.
I may not be a size 0 any more but I am a good person inside and if no man find me as a suitable wife, then it is their loss and not mine!!!
I'm sure your husband has a good side and horrible side.
You and only you can make a decision that your marriage is worth keeping or kick him to the curb.
Listen to your heart and mind; don't rush into conclusion because YT tells you that your husband is horrible. (I do think he is...)
It is your life and your marriage; you need make whatever the decision that will make YOU happy.
Good luck!!!!

I think with a husband like that, I'd charge him $100 bucks for sex. See how he likes that!

:)
Wouldn't that make you a . . . . . . . . . . professional?
Nancy:D :D :D

:eyetearss :eyetearss :clapsmile :clapsmile :clapsmile

one hundred bucks wouldn't touch this. LOL. i would be a high class uhhhhhhhhh professional.

Yeah I think our "services" lol are worth more then 100 bucks. Heck I got 50 bucks to taste a dog cookie out of bet (yes I tried a dog biscut, Im going back to when i was like 12 and 50 dollars sounded like alot at the time lol) and that was just to eat a small dog biscut. I think sex should be worth more then 100 bucks.
My fiance would never make me pay him back for a dog, and if he did try hes got another thing coming. But then again all the dog bills are mine. I have always supported my dog habit and not asked for help from him lol
Dog habit... LOL what am I a dog addict or something

Whatever your situation is I hope you can get yourself up and stick up for yourself, this has to be killing your self esteem. Lose weight or pay for the dog, its just not right to ask for either