Who said we were ending?!

After Bear Bryant dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bear a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach," God says happily. "Most people don't get their own houses up here." says.
Bear looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Auburn flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Auburn banner hangs between the marble columns.
"Thanks for the house, God," Bear says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Shug gets a mansion with Auburn banners and AU flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"
God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Bear, that's not Shug's house. That's mine."

Q: How do you starve an Auburn Fan?
A: Hide the food stamps under the soap.

You're probably an Alabama fan if ...
... You can play the Alabama fight song using your armpit.
... Your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
... The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
... You're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
... You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
... You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
... You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
... You won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
... Your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
... Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.

A few more....
 

Two innebriated Auburn fans are walking along a railroad track. One says, "Darn! These stairs are killin' me!" The other says, "It's ain't the stairs I can't stand, it's the low handrails!"

Q: What does the average Auburn student get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.

Q: How do you know if an Auburn fan has a girlfriend?
A: There's tobacco spit on both sides of the truck.

Q: What are the longest 3 years of an Auburn student's life?
A: His freshman year.

SO FUNNY! I almost just posted that SAME thing the other way around! Great minds think alike!

It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes.
He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, "That's because you are from Auburn, son."

The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It's Grade Three, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That's because you are from Auburn, son."

The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well endowed". This confused him. That night he told his Dad. "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Auburn?" he asked.

"No, son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're 18."

Q: Where was OJ headed in the white Bronco?

A: To Tuscaloosa...he knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there!

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Alabama fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."

A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened. Furious, he demanded to see the sales manager, and told him "When I buy a $50,000 car I expect the dang radio to work." The sales manager explained to him that the radio had been programmed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear. He got back into the car and said "Country music," and old Willie Nelson started singing. "Rock and roll," he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. "Easy listening," he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator. He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds. Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road. "Stupid rednecks!" he screamed. The radio immediately blurted out, "TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!"

Rebecca and Misty.......thank you for the laugh this afternoon! Here's hoping for a great game and that Bama kicks some Aubbie butt!!! I gotta head out and won't be back on line til Monday. You guys have a great week-end and remember, Bama Rules and Aubbie Drools!!!!



Two boys are playing football in Big Springs Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter from the Huntsville Times, who was strolling by
sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Bama fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in North Alabama I just assumed you were." said the reporter, "What team do you root for?" "I'm an Auburn fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck B@%&*rd Kills Beloved Family Pet."

An Alabama fan walks into a travel agancy in response to an ad about free river cruises. As the man described why he was there to the lady behind the desk, the woman hit a button, two men spring up behind the guy, beat him up, take his wallet , stuff him into a sack, and throw him out back into the river. A few moments later another Alabama fan walks in and also begins to speak when the woman hits the same button. The two men spring out, beat him up, stuff him in a sack, steal his wallet, and throw him out back into the river. A few miles down river the two Alabama fans catch up to one another and the second fan says, "I wonder if they serve dinner on this cruise?" The first fan replies,"They didn't last year."

That was good for a laugh...enjoy the game you guys...I will be watching from sunny Orlando. I'm off to Disney....bye!:wavey:

OH MY! Hope you have the BEST time!!!!!!!!!!! BYE! :D