Jessica,

When I was just your age I became pregnant from a boy I had dated for 2 yrs. I always thought we would get married one day, but when I told him I was pregnant, he certainly wasnt very supportive. What he said to me was so painful. He didnt want to be a father so young, he didnt want to get married so young, he just wasnt interested in any of it. Thinking back, I think he was scared to death like me, but it didnt matter then. His disinterest and anxiety over the baby cut me up emotionally like a knife.
It didnt help matters that I had been preached to and heard all my life that "If any girl of mine is stupid enough to get pregnant, before marriage and in high school they will need to find a new place to live, cause they wont live here" So I had never NEVER felt so alone in my whole life.
At 17 yrs old I wasnt very mature emotionally or strong. I finally told my mom and stepdad, who I lived with and then I told my biological father. My mom and stepfather attended church 3 times a week, and I had too until I began to rebel at 16 yrs old. My real dad wasnt a religious man at all.
All of them insisted I have an abortion. They told me I was smarter then that and they would not allow me to ruin my life at my age. That is what happened too, I never was given any options, no one supported me to help me with a baby or adoption was never mentioned. It was hush hush, very private.
The truth is at 17 yrs old I didnt want a baby either. I wasnt ready to be a mother until I was in my 30's. I really wasnt a stupid girl either just immature, I even on my own thought about adoption, but I didnt think I could live with that either. I was to selfish for consideration to give my baby to someone else to care for, knowing I might not see them for yrs or never see them again period. At the tender age of 17, with no support at all in any other direction, that became my reality.
I guess what I am trying to say to you is ...........I understand. Whatever choice you make in your situation must be right for you. If you dont want an abortion, there are options! Maybe you have someone to support you, help you, to keep the baby near or in the family even! Open adoptions too! I dont know your family so maybe they will be more understanding for you then mine was. Not so rigid and demanding.
My opinion is its truly more selfish to get an abortion, then to adopt a sweet baby out to a loving family. I still think about it, a burden I will always have to bare. There are couples out there that crave a baby so bad, and would give a baby such a wonderful home. Couples that would give you the oppurtunity to see the baby, let you have a relationship with your baby.
So you consider what you need and want. You do what you feel is right in your heart and life. And even if you find no support at home, I am hoping you do! You DO have options.
Sending you a great big bear hug!!!!!!!

Thank you Rebecca. Adoption can be a great thing for all involved. Now you know why I go on and on about my son. He is the best son anyone could ever ask for. I had to log off and just go hug him. He's my everything.

I was a bit older when I got pregnant with our daughter...I was 19. It was the hardest and best thing I ever did!! We now have two kids and are together now 13 years.

No one can tell you what to do only you can decide and then live with your decision. Don't let anyone pressure you into a decision you don't want to make and know there are people who have been there and you can lean on. I don't know what your family is like but chances are they will be more understanding than you think...I thought mine would freak but they were a huge help!

Good luck and you are in my prayers.

All these stories have really touched me. i felt like i was alone on this and i was the only person who is dealing or has dealt with this situation

You are not alone. I wish I could come across the keyboard and give you a hug and tell you it will all be alright.

You are not alone, that's what everyone has been telling you. You are going to have to tell your folks at some point so now is just a good a time as any.

My mom got pregnant with me when she was a senior in high school, got married for all the wrong reasons. By the time I was 6 months old they divorced. She never asked him for anything. It's like he just walked away. She didn't want me going from home to home. Anyway, long story short, we are good friends. It was hard, I'll tell you that. She worked 2 and 3 jobs sometimes to keep us going. We lived on pancakes for a month another time. In the end, we did great and my mom is the world to me, but I wouldn't have faulted her one bit if she had placed me for adoption.

There will be many decisions for you to make and many ups and downs no matter what road you take. But you don't have to take it alone. Talk with your folks. You truly don't know what they will say or how they will act unless you tell them. I know that it seems like everything sucks right now but hang in there. You will survive and get through this. Remain positive and reach out. Don't keep this in.

Wow, what a great story! I know how proud you are of your son!

I think I'm going 2 tell them on thursday when they are both home.

That touched me !! I'm adopted and can say this from your son's standpoint - He has a wonderful real mom in YOU.

Believe me when I say this ...many, if not most, of us adoptees look at our biological moms as someone who cared enough to say goodbye .....and our adoptive moms as our TRUE MOM. I know that's how I feel about mine and am sure your son must feel the same about you.....What a nice post that was and I didn't know that about you. Thank you for sharing....

My mom used to tell me a poem when I was a kid - all I can remember now is the one line...."You didn't Grow UNDER my heart - but in it." and I always felt so special.

Gorjess sweetie - there are so many people who WIN if you decide to let your baby go to a loving home - there really is ...you would have time to be a teen ....AND then, one day.... have a baby when the time is right.

I'm really sorry about what you're going through!!! I know how difficult it is. Like others, I've been there.

I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 and still living w/my parents. My Dad had said if any of us ever got pregnant (unwed/still living in his home) he'd disown us. I was scared to death, and to make it worse, what I thought was the love of my life turned into the meanest/scariest person ever. I was terrified!!! At 2 mths along I told my Mom. It was the greatest thing I ever did. She was upset but kind of excited as well. I didn't tell my Dad. She did, and he didn't speak to me the entire pregnancy and I lived at home!!!

It hurt alot knowing that my Dad and my daughter's Father didn't want anything to do w/me or the baby, but I realized that that didn't matter. It wasn't just about me anymore...

I had my beautiful daughter and believe it or not, my Dad turned into the biggest sap in the world!!! He wouldn't let me carry the car-seat out to the car, and when my daughter was 3 days old, I tried to put her in this pretty dress to take pictures and he told me to quit fussing with her. It was so sweet! LOL.

I'm not going to lie, it was ROUGH. Thankfully, I had already finished HS, but it did put a huge hold on college. But, I got through it. My Mom was tremendous throughout and I thank her all the time for it. It's not easy and I feel so sorry for young girls that get pregnant. It makes me so sad because I know how rough it is... :(

Sorry for the novella. I just feel so bad for you! Hang in there!!! Talk to you Mom!

I had my 1st daughter at 15, and I would never advise this to any young teenager, but I'm glad I did have her so young, her and I are so close and we have such a strong bond, she comes to me for anything and is very honest with me.

My parents went off the wall when they found out, but as soon as they seen that life growing in me, my mom and I really bonded, and to this day, I feel that my daughter brought my mom and I close. We use to fight like cats and dogs, but now we have such a strong connection. She has and forever will always be here for me.

Having a child at a young age, is not easy, I missed out on so much, but it was so worth it. If you keep a solid head on your shoulders, and do this the right way, you can make it work, it wont be easy, it will be very tough, but it will be so worth it.

Adoption is also a great choice, there are so many couples out there that cant have children of there own, and they could give a child such a wonderful life.

Just think long and hard, your heart will tell you what to do, just listen!

My daughter was pregnant at the age of 17. When she told me I nearly hit the roof. I blew up before I took the time to think. All I could see was how hard my life was having children young, blah, blah, blah. I told her I would not help her and all that jazz. She was keeping the baby though since she had had an abortion a year and a half prior to this. She couldn't live through that again and I could understand that part of her decision.

Given a week or so to think things through calmly I knew that there was nothing I could do but support her. I put the anger and fears aside and knew that she would do okay because she was a strong willed person like me.

The baby's father was 16 at the time my grandson was born. That was nine years ago and they are still together and just had a baby girl this past July. Life has been hard for them and they struggle to survive but I stepped aside and let them do this on their own (knowing I would certainly be there if she needed me).

I adore my grandchildren!

I had my first son at 19 and My second at 21. For my 21st Birthday My Mom treated me to a virgin strawberry Daquri since I was pregnant. I proably missed out on things having my Children so young but I would never take it back. I think the best thing you can do is talk to your parents and discuss your options. On ce they get over the initial shock I am sure they will be more suportive

Jess,
You have received lots of wonderful advise here and have alot of people that care about you!
If I might make a suggestion.....sometimes it is easier to tell someone other than your parents first (and not the father).....Is there someone at your school that you can confide in? At my High School we had a crisis that counselor available to us....and everything we told her was in strict confidence unless we signed for her to share that information. (of course if it was life & death that was not the case) Please check with your school counseling office and see what resources you have. You do not need to tell a secretary or anyone else what your situation is....just that you are in a crisis and need help. If there is no one to assist....can you confide in a teacher or principal?
If you can just sit with someone in person and share you concerns and as silly as this may sound - but just "practice" telling your parents - it might help you feel more prepared to face you parents.

I think my mom would not care if I shared....so here goes....My mom found herself pregnant and unmarried at the age of 18 and could not face her parents, but had always been very close to one of the preachers at her church.....so she went to him and told him and he offered to go with her to tell her parents. Her preacher did not tell her parents but was just there for the emotional support of everyone involved! Her parents were upset but came around.....and later as we became teenagers...my mom (and us kids) found out that her mom had found herself in the same position - pregnant and unwed....so even though her mom had been in the exact same situation herself she did not react calmly and with compasion...instead just the opposite - at first - and mostly just out of a realization of how much it changes your life. Of course my mom & grandmother both ended up marrying the fathers and are still married to the fathers - which I know is not the norm.

Jess, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You have alot to think about, but please take care of yourself!!

I remember telling my parents and they were not happy at all...I stayed with my friend for a few days until they cooled off and wanted to talk. They made sure they married me off to my bf..our marriage lasted 11 LONG years..we both didnt want to be married but did it for the sake of me being pregnant.

You NEED to tell the father..its his choice afterwards if he wants to be a part of the baby's life or not....but he WILL be obligated to pay child support that child no matter what!!! At least here it works that way. You cant lie to him...it will come back to slap you in the face when your child grows up and wants to know who his/her father is...its just not fair not to tell. BUT it is YOUR decision if you want to end the pregnancy, place the baby up for adoption or keep the baby. Finding a job, finishing school and raising a baby are hard but if you are serious about it..it CAN be done!! Don't try to figure it all out in one day...tell your parents and let them help you out...they love you im sure and wont leave you homeless and pregnant.

And like a previous posted stated we arent here to judge you..we are here to support you NO MATTER what you decide!! HUGS!!

Dawn