You're so right sweetie! Don't let his attitude get you down -- you did nothing wrong! You're very generous and you did a wonderful thing. Think of the child who will get your beautiful red hair who will no longer be ashamed of going to school or going out in public. You did a beautiful thing and should be VERY proud of yourself.

I know it doesn't mean much but I'm proud of you. :)

Well, all I can say is your husband is ONE OF THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH!!! He has a wife who not only is giving and caring to others, giving away a part of yourself to help someone else.... but now you are having to put us with his childishness and his hurtful words and you are being so understanding. I would have told him off the first afternoon he shooed you out of his office. I will say it again YOUR HUSBAND IS THE LUCKIEST MAN ON EARTH!!!!

I would email him this thread too!! He needs a wake-up call. And you sweetie are just "Peach of the Year!"

I too had super long hair that hubby loved. Last year for my 30th birthday I cut it all off and cut it as short as yours and also donated it to Locks. It was a great thing. Hubby rooted me on because it was for a worthy cause even though he will mention how he misses it. It will grow back. Sometimes I guess they dislike change. Under it all you are the same hottie that he married just with a small change in looks.

Don't pay it any mind.

MEN! ..... he'll get over it...... glad everything is better.....

I am so glad everything is better and also glad you stood your ground on this one! Your hair will grow back....and then you can do it again! Maybe you need to get him used to that idea if it is something you feel strongly about and may want to do again in the future! But really, I am glad that you guys got it all worked out and he was man enough to say he was sorry...for some men, that is impossible to do!

OH MY I love your new haircut..I think it suits you better. :)

Awwww hon it looks great. Now you are all set for summer with a new sassy do!!

Val You're hair looks great! Glad that you and Eli semi-sorted things out!

He's probably just worried that he won't be wearing the pants in the house...

Doesn't he know any better? ;)

You should have asked him if he has to ask your permission to get a hair cut...silly is what they are.

Glad you nipped that control thing in the bud.

well i still think your hair is gorgeous short! he'll see it soon enough!

I've been following this. You've done a great job of letting him work out his own anger and not lashing out back to him. But, he said some very hurtful things. You need to tell him that even in anger it is not right to hurt you.

I can totally understand why he would be upset that you didn't warn him, especially if you know he was so attached to your hair. (what is it with guys?) I was even kind of siding with him thinking if you discuss everything and you just went and did this without telling him, well I understand why he's upset. That was until he got to the permission part. You are an adult. You do not need his PERMISSION for anything that you do.

I think your hair is not the real issue here. Maybe you both should go for counseling to decide in advance how you would handle an issue like this in the future. And he needs to learn how to express his anger without making personal attacks.

Final words: you look gorgeous!

Aw, thanks for your advice and kind words. I found it interesting you said you really saw his side. Since you do, I'd love to pick your brain a little.....since I'm going crosseyed trying to understand him right now. My confession....he never used the word "permission" but he said I absolutely should have called him before going to get my hair cut...and not only that but because I didn't call, all heck broke loose as far as he was concerned. He said that "not calling" was the same as going behind his back. Which isn't true, either! So if I'm "required" to call him, then to me, it's the same as permission.

There I was trying to get up the guts to go and do something very hard for me (I loved my long hair) - but I wanted to cut it for charity.... and if I'd called Eli, he would have thrown a fit right then and there over the phone, begging, crying, whatever, for me not to go thru with it. I even started an encouragement thread b/c I really needed it. Calling him would have been working against everything I was trying to accomplish. I didn't do it for spite, in no way at all...I even cut my hair shorter than I would have wanted it, way shorter, but I did it for charity.

Anyway, I've been really frustrated b/c we can't see eye to eye. I see how he feels but I don't think it justifies his behavior. I think at this point, the way he has acted is far "worse" on the scale than me not calling him, IMO.

VaL:

I'm glad things are a bit better between you two! My hubby also likes to control things and be a bit bossy and when I see a spell coming on, I quickly create a project just for him...he's the boss of it. It puffs him up a bit and keeps him out of my hair for a while so I can get the real work done, LOL Maybe you can try something like that with Eli?? Is he easily distracted by the false sense of control a wife-created project brings?

Gerry you always have the most honest and best suggestions..loool. You crack me up :D Val, I'm glad you and Eli worked it out, for the most part. Don't feel bad, you did a great thing and he'll see that soon even if he still doesn't like the short hair. I think it looks great.

HEHE! I'm a pragmatist, what can I say:p I have to say it really does work. I got Big Daddy to manage the little league team...how in control can he be, bossing around a bunch of 6 year olds;) He is busy planning and calling and emailing that sometimes in the evenings I get a good 2 hours while he is doing all that stuff. Believe me in September I'm trying to get him hooked up with soccer...

Val, you're a rockstar, you'll weather the storm!

I see his side in that you knew he would be really upset, so you just didn't tell him. If you knew he would be really upset then you probably should have talked it over. Let him get all of his anger out before hand. Then, after he was done yelling you could calmly say "I understand you aren't happy about this, but it is my hair. This charity means a lot to me and I'm going to do it"
He probably would still have been angry but it would have shown that you respect his feelings. That said: no matter how angry he is now, he should not be making personal attacks. (telling you you look awful, etc.) Right now he is probably feeling that you don't care about his opinion and his feelings are hurt because you didn't consult him (or warn him) about something that meant alot to him. If it was me, I'd probably tell him "look, I made a mistake in not telling you beforehand. I didn't realize it meant so much to you." And tell him what you said on here, how you really loved your long hair and it was a hard thing for you to do, but you did it for the kids who have cancer. You didn't do it to spite him or to hurt him, you did it for the kids. I think if he really understands that he'll come around.

As always Teri, excellent post. Your husband is a lucky man to have such an understanding wife :p

Val- good for you, girl! That is such a wonderful thing to do... again!

Men can be so overly dramatic, can't they?! Your husband is a lucky man if the worst thing in your marriage is you cutting your hair without consulting him first! With all that you hear about going on in marriages today (lying, cheating, etc.) this is so insignificant! (Not that any of that is okay, but still, you know what I mean...) I think you could put things into perspective for him by bringing him to the cancer ward of the hospital... hopefully he'd walk out of there thanking God that the worst thing he has to deal with is his wife cutting her hair- at least he isn't a patient in there.

And you look gorgeous... and no, I'm not just being nice!

Thanks!!! :-) He and I are trying to talk it out now - I think he's coming around. He hates any sort of change - at all - so I guess it just took him a bit to adjust.

I blogged about my haircut today - www.xanga.com/passionfruition

I even put up some new pictures at the end of the "after" sort. :)

First of all let me tell you that donating your hair was a GREAT thing to do. I have done it before myself and it's such a rewarding feeling you get back. Second, I have heard that your color of hair (shades of orange/red) are the most needed with LL.
My husband is the same way your's is. He MET ME with short hair right after bootcamp and now he always tells me not to cut it. But when I do, he gets over it. When I ask him if he likes it, he asks me "Do YOU like it?" When I say yes, he says "Well good then." But if I get my hair highlighted, he likes it and he will tell me a real compliment. But did you know that your hair really even isn't considered short? I would consider your hair medium to long. Your hubby is lucky you didn't cut your hair really short, like ear level! But I think your hair is adorable now, it brings out your face more and it has more volume.
I hate to say it, but you're right-your husband sounds like a drama king. He is throwing a fit so that you don't cut your hair and so that he gets his way in the future. Maybe he needs to be reminded about how looks aren't everything. There are brave women even here on YT that have cancer or are cancer survivers who have lost ALL of their hair and they still have the love and support of their husbands. These women are still beautiful inside and out. Hair doesn't make a person, it's an assesory, like jewelry. We are the same people with or without this stuff. I would suggest asking him about that.
I think your husband is a good man. A guy doesn't get a girl like you without being an awesome person. I just think he probably has some other issues going on. I really don't think your relationship was based on hair. Regardless, he needs to be more considerate of your feelings. Did you tell him that you cried? He can say what is on his mind without being hurtful. He could say that you just look different, or ask you if you liked it.
Above everything else I am sure that beautiful little boy or girl will never regret that you have given such a special gift to him or her. This is the LL website:
http://www.locksoflove.org/index.php

Val, you look terrific, sweetie!
 

Wow, a lot can happen if you don't look at YT for a few days!

I am so proud of you for giving your hair to Locks of Love, Val sweetie! I am also thrilled with how you handled your hubby's anger. I agree with Teri (must be the older woman's view, eh Ter?) with the idea that telling your hubby first would have been better for him. Not ASKING him, TELLING him that you were cutting your hair. That way it wouldn't have been so shocking to him seeing you in short hair. Yes, he would have tried to talk you out of it, but you are right, it is YOUR hair, and you have the unconditional right to do what you want with it. However, you also have to live with this man, and a warning may have smoothed the way.

This will not be the last bump in the Marriage Road, lol. I say these times are what make us grow and change, and as long as you two do this together, you will be a stronger and more loving couple when you come out the other end of this tunnel.

GOOD LUCK!
xoxoxoxo

I think you look fabulous and it seems like your hair grows really fast! I am sorry your husband was upset. I am sure he will realize his mistake. What you did for someone else is like gold. Think of some one with no hair being able to feel good about themselves, priceless

Your haircut is adorable Sexy and sweet ..u go girl~

Good for you! my friends do the same thing! i love your new look!:D