we just broke up
 

son of a b----... he friggin cant apologize.... never, never, never...what
a friggin waste of my dam time..here i go again....

I'm sorry... I thought things were going good.... did I miss anything?:confused:

I am so sorry! I hope that reconciliation is possible (if it's what you want).:(

oh no!!!!
GINA, DID YOU BREAK UP OR JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING????
I don't get it, last week you were talking rings, now this.
I'm sure you will make up.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm so sorry. :( Breakups suck! You deserve someone who treats you right - and he is out there somewhere! We're here for ya!!!!

*HUGS*

im soooo sorry...is there anything we can do...what the H** is his problem
(sorry i know i dont know the situration) but you seem like a very nice person to me

sending Hugs. Men can be such A**s

Oh no Gina. What happened?? I thought things were going well. I hope things work out the way you deserve them to. <hugs> to you

Never easy...
 

Appologies come in many different forms. I hope he knows that you just want to "hear" him say it.
It's been my experience that if you're direct and polite and they still won't give an ounce, then it's best to leave...things won't get better at that point.
I'm sorry about your situation, I hope this is the best thing for you.
:justahug:

Sorry Gina. :( Word from the wise...if he won't apologize to you while you are dating...it'll never happen if you marry. Think long and hard of a relationship with anyone that will not consider how something makes you feel...that it's perfectly acceptable and un-important to acknowledge them.

i dont know, i just dont know.... help me....if its for real im gonna go crazy
i really am... i got nasty with him at 5am this morning when he got up for
work and he said to me f--k y--.... i had already discussed to him i dont like that talk, its very disrespectful and he said it once again... and never apologized to me... everything is all my fault all the time.. he is a great guy
with great potential,, maybe its me... at 5am i am tired and he just got on
my nerves....he said he is coming to pikkup some of his stuff tonight at my house... im gonna die i tell ya if its for real... what do i do ? dont want to
look like a begger, but said to me on the phone that this is an excuse for me
to break up,.and its not

Maybe you don't want to hear this, but GREAT GUYS do not say FYou when they have done something wrong. And how can it always be your fault when you fight? Did he tell you that? He doesn't sound like he puts you first and that is what you deserve. I wouldn't even be there when he comes home. Take care of yourself Gina, why would you want to be with someone who talks to you like that? You deserve better!

I think the breakup may be for the best if he can't respect you enough not to speak to you like that. In my opinion, I think you should let it go. If a guy I was dating spoke to me like that, it would be over before he even got a chance to apologize. I wouldn't even wait for an apology. Just get out of there. In fact I would gather his things and leave them at your front door. Take Lexie and have yourself a peaceful time at the park while he gets his things. Just my opinion. Be strong, don't sell yourself short to an a--hole that would say that to you :mad:

If he is really what you want and deserve ask if you guys can meet for dinner and discuss the situation. Good luck!

Umm-
 

What you typed doesn't sound too clear, but from what I gathered...
You got nasty this morning, he did nothing deliberately to get on your nerves; he responded w/ foul language which only further upset you and then he left for work; he later called you and said he's coming to pick up some of his stuff when he gets off work?

This sounds like it's happened before. -?-

Since you're asking, and even though the whole situation still isn't clear, I'd say that if you're still wanting him, you can try to very clearly and calmly tell him that you're sorry for the way you acted-explain what bothered you this morning that tripped your mood swing and that you'll do your best in the future to not behave that way over something small (?) and see what happens. I just wouldn't attack him as though he was at fault...you're right, it very well be that you were screaming over spilt milk, who knows? People change all the time. You can only work on bettering yourself and hope that he follows suit. If you think that a situation like this morning is likely in the future after you talk to him, then I think you already know what to do.

I feel for you-

I'm so sorry! You know we're here for you!

no no no he is a great guy,,, sometimes its me really it is...i get really nasty
when im tired.. i shouldnt have been that way to him... really..
im a bitch sometimes... i just texted him.. I LOVE YOU. dont get mad
my friends, believe me i know what im doing.... i think.... it partly my fault too. just need to talk to someone you know what i mean,,, im a lose sometimes and sometimes i deserve it... he does put me on pedestal he really does... im used to the dirt bags...

Gina, I think you have some contradictions written there....great guys don't tell ya f you, aren't disrepectfull, never apologize, nor are they blameless. You can't change him....great potential is useless if he won't change himself.

Good luck....

I wouldn't make excuses for him. No matter how bitchy you are, a GREAT guy would NEVER EVER EVER EVER NO MATTER WHAT say F--K Y--. EVER!!!! A great guy might walk away to avoid saying something nasty or would sit you down and talk to you. Sorry Gina but I can't agree. It's your life but I do care and don't want to see you get hurt and making excuses for his wrong doings is the beginning of something very bad. :thumbdown He is who he is and right now he's showing his true colors. I would not only walk the other way I WOULD RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. He's bad news and a jerk. Sorry if this offends you but I can't stand disrespectful a--holes like him.

I hope everything works out Gina! I can be a total bitch sometimes to my husband and afterwards I really regret it.

Well, you got plenty of ears here! Maybe a few shoulders too! ;)

Keep your chin up and give the situation a fair assesment. And if you think that you're at fault (BE HONEST) and that he really does treat you nicely and the only reason he behaved the way he did was because you were picking a fight, then he was reasonable and you should work on you to make this work. Otherwise, you really do know what needs to be done!

Take care!

Bchgirl
 

"great potential is useless if he won't change himself."


WELL SAID!!!

If he talks to you like that now it would be ten times worse if you were married. I would let him walk

Okay Gina, I understand morning bitchiness. I've experienced it on many occasions. What I have not experienced is a guy disrespecting me by using the term f*** you. It is never okay to say this to you especially since you said you have discussed this with him before. Relationships should not be drama filled. A guy who is in it for the long haul does not state that he will be over to pick up his stuff. A reasonable guy would have a) walked away b) try to talk to you rationally. I know that you are the only one who truly knows what type of guy he is, but you should realize your own self worth too. You deserve better. You seem like a really sweet lady and I know that you will get through this if you choose not to stay with him. By the way, apologizing when you know you were wrong is the hardest thing to do. If he is a man worth keeping he will apologize.

ok well no text msg back.... yet...you know, he;s a hot tempered italian and so am i.... but we do get along so great too.... rarely never fight....
just little spats... i guess i really have to talk to him about my feelings..
he has to control him mouth... i have told him in the past i dont like that..
i had called him a few names in the past too, but we ironed that out and i told him i would never do it again . im good for name calling. thats what my
x did to me.... dont know what to expect tonight... i thought this was it too. i will let you know what happens,,,

I wouldn't stand for that! I once stopped dating a " great guy with potential" cause he told me to " shut-up" that was enough lack of respect for me.
But it sounds like you already made your decision.

ok text just came back... he said he really loves me and his eyes are tearing and he is gonna crash his machine he runs... yeah mr iron....maybe things will be ok, ijust need to really talk it out with him...

Bravo. Just remember that if you catch a hint of the same attitude in the future and you did nothing to spark it, you really should consider walking more seriously.

I think that we all have our own issues and we cause a lot of the grief displayed from our partners and we're too selfish to acknowledge our own hangups and wish they'd change and it's really us. I think that if you're working on bettering yourself in whatever way you'd like and he is still behaving like he did this morning....well, it isn't you honey, it's him. I'd be fair and honest to you both and call it quits so you can both move on.

I WISH YOU THE BEST!

Sounds like "insecurity talking" to me....

I agree with Teri.... I would not even be there when he comes home.... Why feed the fire?? It can only make things worse... If its an apology you want.... give him time to come up with one... if he cant bring himself to... Baby, your better off... But seriously... Dont be there and get all worked up and argue and discuss it in circles till neither of you know what the hell your even talking about anymore! I've been there! Talking something to death... or the other end of it... saying a bunch of shi@ that you don't mean cause your hurt! Spare yourself the drama!

Hit a friends house or go treat yourself to an amazing dinner with Lexi! Take her for a LONG walk!!! Whatever you do... don't be at home... If you got the point across that all you wanted was an apology and for him to not be so disrespectful to you, then he knows the next move.... If not leave a super short and simple! note for him on the coffee table.... No drama, no multi page let me get a glass of water, this is going to take some time to read letter! Just short and sweet!


so and so,
Sorry I can't be here tonight... I just dont want to argue anymore....
I care too much about us. This morning, I just wanted you to see how your
words and actions hurt me....

love,
me


He'll do one of two things..... Pack his shi*and leave.... (if he does, you are so much better off!!!!)

Or he'll pull his head out of his a** and realize what a d*ck he is being and start wracking his (sorry guys) under developed male brain trying to figure out how he is going to say he is sorry! And it had better be good!

I am not a fan of the "I'm packing my stuff" threat! Bullsh*t That is so chickensh*t!!!! Any Coward can pack a bag!!!! Don't ever say that to him... it'll really start some crap! but its true! If thats the kinda guy he is... let him go... but if this is a minor glitch... give him room and let him figure it out....

Don't be at home tonight! Let this be his call.... You aren't a begger! I look at your avatar everyday!!! You can have any guy with those looks girl! Don't settle for just any guy!

Best of luck!!! I'll be thinking of you tonight!

Gina,

I know all about hot-headed Italians - I've been married to one for over 20 years now (although he has mellowed with age and is not near the hot-head he was in the beginning). And I can honestly say he has never said a mean or ugly thing to me - I told him in the beginning I would not stand for that. I'm not here to give advice or anything like that, I think the others have already done that (and great advice I might add). But you have just given yourself the ultimate advice - YOU need to talk it out with him. Now is the time for the two of you to sit down, talk about what bugs you, what bugs him, etc. Is there room for compromise and/or change in the relationship? Only the two of you know for sure. If, after talking things out, and there doesn't seem to be any compromise in sight, then why keep putting yourself through the mental anguish? I don't post a lot here but I do read almost daily and I've read enough of your posts to know that you are a beautiful person inside and out - don't let the past run your future for you. By that I mean, don't let the comments and belittlement (is that a word?) you've experienced in the past from the men in your life continue to haunt you and guide your future. Shed it like an old skin, and make your decisions for your future based on you and your needs in a relationship, how you'd like it to be, not how it's been.

Best of luck to you and many hugs and prayers headed your way.
Suzi