Desperately need help with my Toddler...

[Claire]

I have an 11 month old little girl, Mia, that is REALLY trying my patience. I have scoured the internet, consulted numerous books, and NONE of them address the problem that I am having. That's why I am turning to you guys for help.
She has always been an easy child but she is very independent and has a one track mind. About 2 months ago she started fussing, just a bit, when I get her dressed or change her diaper. It has now turned into all out war. She thrashes her body, screams like I am trying to kill her and it is getting to the point that it takes two of us just to get her dressed/change her diaper. The second we stop or finish she is fine, like nothing ever happened, but if you make another attempt at it she goes right back into her huge fit of anger. Last night after her bath she hit my mom when my mom tried to brush her hair. It has gotten totaly out of control. I understand that kids like to test their boundaries but this is ridiculous. It is really wearing thin on me and I don't know what to do.
She understand "no" and listens when I correct her. I always praise her when she does right. I keep her on a schedule with naps and feedings, she knows what to expect and when to expect it. I don't spoil her nor do I neglect her. I am following the advice from all of those baby books pretty much to a tee. I just don't know what to do about these tantrums.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am making an appointment with her doctor next week about this because it has gotten that bad but before doing so I thought that I would ask ya'll for your advice.... How do I get her to stop or at least calm down?
Thank you in advance!!!

[Tiggerwit]

hee hee hee welcome to the terrible twos, a year early, as they call it. Just hang in there and remain calm and patient. She'll finally figure out she's not getting to you and hopefully will stop. Maybe mention it to her pediatrician.

[JeanieK]

Is she OK with being touched at other times? Have you talked to your Dr to rule out any medical issues? If so I would guess she is just a very strong willed child and perhaps letting her help with the dressing and daiper changing might help. It sounds like it could be a control issue, so if you let her help she might me more agreeable.

Those toodlers sure can keep us guessing, they develop minds of their own way before they are old enough to tell us what they want.

You might also want to try teaching her some sign language, if you haven't already. That also makes them feel more in control because they have the tools to be able to communicate without screaming.

Good Luck

[Claire]

Originally Posted by JeanieK

Is she OK with being touched at other times? Have you talked to your Dr to rule out any medical issues? If so I would guess she is just a very strong willed child and perhaps letting her help with the dressing and daiper changing might help. It sounds like it could be a control issue, so if you let her help she might me more agreeable.

Those toodlers sure can keep us guessing, they develop minds of their own way before they are old enough to tell us what they want.

You might also want to try teaching her some sign language, if you haven't already. That also makes them feel more in control because they have the tools to be able to communicate without screaming.

Good Luck

She is ok with being touched except for diaper changes and getting dressed and it's not something that I am doing because she does it for whomever changes her.
She liked to help me change her untill recently. Now she thows her clothes and diapers across the room and will stick her arm out straight so that I can't get her arm into her shirt, she even kicks her legs out of her shorts or, like she started doing last week, she'll just take her clothes and diaper off. She knows a good bit of sign language and she uses it, trust me, she uses it along with the screaming. Thanks for the advice, it really is great advice but we have tried it and it is not working!!!
I wish I could show ya'll a video of her tantrums.... I was a nanny for a long time and I babysat A LOT before I had her and I have NEVER seen a child act like this. I have a gut feeling that something is wrong, but I can't put a finger on it.

[Tiggerwit]

I hate to ask this, but is she in day care or anything wherein something may have happened during a diaper change that has made her react this way?

[browniesmom622]

sounds like its time to potty train !!

[Tashasmom]

My advice is to not feed into it. I know this will be hard but don't acknowledge the fit at all. Try as best you can to pretend she isnt' throwing one. Some kids do it for attention and they know it riles you up. I don't suggest potty training because she is way too young and you'd be setting yourself up for more frustration. The fact that she's only 10 months old she is just testing you. YOur reaction will decide if she continues to do this or not. So my advice would be to just ignore them. At 10 months old she is way to young to do time out or anything else. YOu could also try to make a game out of it. When you get out her clothes take off running through the house make her chase you and tell her nope these are my clothes hopefully through fits of giggles you can convince her it was her idea to put them on..good luck

[chloeandj]

When both my children started walking and hit about that one year mark, they were awful. They want to become so stinking independent. I have an awful memory of going to the state fair when my 2nd son was one and he didn't want in his stroller and he absolutely didn't want to be held or hold our hand. He kept trying to run away from us, it was hot and he was having full out screaming fits. I wanted to run away myself! But it does get better. Hang in there...

Also if you feel something is not right, mother's have good instincts, maybe a little check up with the doc would be beneficial to ease your mind.

[Claire]

Originally Posted by Tiggerwit

I hate to ask this, but is she in day care or anything wherein something may have happened during a diaper change that has made her react this way?

No she's not in daycare.
I thought of that(something happening) but the only thing I could think of is during her last shot they had to hold her down on the table because she was fighting it so bad (they were scared that she was going to hurt herself), she had been acting up during diaper/clothes changes way before that so that can't be the cause.

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Claire

No she's not in daycare.
I thought of that(something happening) but the only thing I could think of is during her last shot they had to hold her down on the table because she was fighting it so bad (they were scared that she was going to hurt herself), she had been acting up during diaper/clothes changes way before that so that can't be the cause.

She has just realized that she doesn't have to "do" anything she doesn't want to do....testing the waters so to speak....she is much too busy for dressing or diaper changes. Kinda like grooming puppies...they hate it....but eventually they learn it's gonna happen whether they want it to or not.

PS I still love Mia's spunk Remember she's just realized she can say NO in the only way she knows how too

[Tashasmom]

I was lucky with my girls..they never gave me trouble at that age..now my boys thats another story lol..I never had trouble with the clothes and diaper but have had my fair share of troubles in other areas. My youngest exspecially. He is a hand full. I know we've over spoiled him and it doesn't help he has older sisters to come to his rescue lol..I don't have trouble getting clothes on him but getting him to leave them on is another story lol..I could have him dressed turn my head..turn it back and all i see is naked buns running across the floor with him just laughing up a storm. Somedays I bet i dress him 5 or 6 times..and he's 3 lol..I also caught him one day peeing out the front door..there he stood as proud as he could be..so I had to explain to him without laughing why that wasn't a good place to go potty lol..But I can tell you this..if you think this age is bad wait til she hits the teen years lol..

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Tashasmom

I was lucky with my girls..they never gave me trouble at that age..now my boys thats another story lol..I never had trouble with the clothes and diaper but have had my fair share of troubles in other areas. My youngest exspecially. He is a hand full. I know we've over spoiled him and it doesn't help he has older sisters to come to his rescue lol..I don't have trouble getting clothes on him but getting him to leave them on is another story lol..I could have him dressed turn my head..turn it back and all i see is naked buns running across the floor with him just laughing up a storm. Somedays I bet i dress him 5 or 6 times..and he's 3 lol..I also caught him one day peeing out the front door..there he stood as proud as he could be..so I had to explain to him without laughing why that wasn't a good place to go potty lol..But I can tell you this..if you think this age is bad wait til she hits the teen years lol..

As a parent of one past that age....it would be hard to stiffle a giggle...

[Lucky's Mom]

My daughter is almost 11 months old & she does that most of the time too! Not quite as bad as what yours sounds like though! I usually distract her w/ something like my keys or a toy, waterbottles (she loves those!) & I've heard that some people get bubbles & blow them right before the start. The bubbles keep them entertained while you change them in record time! lol!