It is very obvious that you are ready to get out of the relationship, now the question is what the heck are you waiting on? Who cares if his feelings get hurts because your feelings are what matters here. We girls have to take care of ourselves because no one else is and if takes a guy getting his feeling hurt oh well. I was in a relationship for 3 years, and my parents hated this guy and keep telling me he was wrong for me. After a while a took a step back and look at the bigger picture, and noticed all the stuff they were telling me "he drinks to much, he puts his friends and family before you, he is taking you away from your family/friends". I reallized and was very unhappy and had to do something about it. I talked to him about it and express my feeling to him, and he pretty much said I was being selfish. So needless to say I had to stop seeing him because I could not be in relationship that made me unhappy, and he got his feels hurt. I felt bad for hurting his feelings, but my happiness is more important. If I were you I would stop wasting you time, because who knows while you have been wasting your time with this jerk, you may have already met and past up mister right.

Thanks, You are right, sometimes it takes us to step out side and look back in from the outside. As for me passing up Mr right, I surely hope not!!!

I hope you did not past up mister right either!!! If you dump the guy, which IMO you should!! Get you girlfriends together, get you nails/toes/hair done, and go paint the town. That always makes me feel better when situations like this happen. Plus you don't want this guy to think your at home crying over him, because that might give him the idea he could get back with you. Good Luck with what ever you decide!!!

YOU PROMISED YOUR MOTHER YOU WOULD'NT MARRY HIM!!!!!!!!
I'm so sorry, girl if you did that then you already know you are waisting your time! Why would you stay???? You need to take care of YOU! Who cares if he's going to be hurt. He needs to grow up, and you need to take your life back and be happy. Life lessons are hard, you have learned it's not going to work out. Now get rid of the frog, and let your Prince find you. Hang in there, we are here with you!
Best of Luck Always! :2hearts2:

I still care about my soon-to-be-ex-husband, you can't help but care about someone you were close too.... BUT if you don't want babies with him and you don't want to marry him and YOU are unhappy then break-up with him. What matters most is that YOU are happy!!!

And BTW the money lending (in me and my husband's relationship) and such turned into him stealing my credit cards while I was asleep and maxing them all out. I ended up filing bankrupt at the tender age of 25... he did $80K in damage... don't let that happen to you... cut him off now and get your money back!

Life Lesson for Men!

This is what my Mom told my Husband BEFORE we were married.

"When the Lady of the house is happy, everyone is happy. :)

We have five children, and have been married for 25 years.
He is and always will be my Best Friend. :2hearts2:

Don't get mad, don't get even, just move on and
make you happy. :)

OMG Hannah, I am SOOOO mad about what he did. The same thing happened to me and I finally ended up getting about 1/2 of the money back.

You are WAY too pretty and smart for this moron. Find someone more mature.

some men are really jerks :( i had an ex boyfriend that did that to me too :mad: and i kicked him to the curve. and i promised myself i would never date a man like that again. hanna you are to pretty send him to hell and move on. men like that deserve to stay alone :mad:

Men like that should date each other!!!!

:bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

i have lent my soon to be husband money in the past and money just recently, even thou he is going to be my husband, i always, always, make him sign a promissory note of how much he is going to give me back every week and the date it will be paid off and i also charge him 8% interest, this might sound like i am a bit** but i got burnt so many times with money it will never happen again..... This way it will save you on the fighting in the long run....

Amen to that!!

Good luck with everything Hannah..In the end, it all works out :)

I should have thought of that! I opened up a loan with my exfiance. Then he broke off the engagement. I should have never done that either.

I think it depends on the guy. I had a boyfriend that spent all his money on drugs and then came crying to me because he needed this stuff for his class that would cost $300 so what did my dumb butt do but give him the money. Did I get paid back? Never. He was dragging me down with the drugs & he was failing out of school and I told him he had to get his life together or I was gone. He told me to go that drugs were more important than me. And then he badmouthed me to all his friends. I loved him and felt sorry for him because his mom was dieing of cancer and he took advantage of that.

When me and my husband were dating he came up short on rent one month. He was going to an expensive school and his family just didn't have the money to help so I payed his rent that month. I never worried about getting it back because I knew someday we would be married and he would have a good job and take care of me. And that's exactly how it worked out. I also know he really needed the money and that he wasn't just playing me.

It sounds to me like this guy is playing you. He doesn't respect you and he doesn't care about your feeling. I know how hard it is, I was always someone that tried to save people too. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved. and trust me he doesn't want to be saved.

Why is it when WE lend them money...and want it back.... they use that LAME "I spent it on us" line of Bull ?

I had the SAME thing happen....I was so in lust with a guy - gave him 1000 of my money I was saving for a new car....EVERYTIME I asked about the money he skipped around the subject....I finally said...I need the money and we had a deal.... it was susposed to be paid off in 6 months....and Viola - then he informs me....."I spent the money on Us"

Uh...I had 2 kids ...I paid the the total rent and bills and I bought the food and paid for any nights out. WHO Spent the money on WHO ?

Just that lack of communication and trust ruined that relationship because he lied to me for months about that stupid money....If this guy can do all these things now...then you need OUT.

you mentioned something earlier about if you leave on your trip that he will show up at your parents house and tell them you are back together!

babygirl, they are YOUR parents! do you really think they are going to believe hIS line of crap?
and if that really could be a problem, get a restraining order against him (for you and for them). he's already been in jail--and will hopefully take it seriously and if he does show up at their place they can call the police!
ta dA!

also: it takes 3 months for every year you dated to get over someone, i read.
you have to eliminate everything of him in your life. put it in garbage bags--not boxes! his junk is as good as he is (hence garbage bags), give it to a mutual friend or his parents (so you don't have to see him), change the locks, take his number OUT OF YOUR ceLL phonE! or change his number to 911! then you have to think, "what the heck am i doing??" don't think you can have a one night stand w/him b/c you need comfort. women have emotional attachements b/c of that and it will make it harder on you. tell your neighbors he is no longer welcome and <stick to IT!> if they see him to treat him like a tresspasser esp if you are not there. (i'm just saying, he will stay around as long as you let him). tell your landlord not to let him in no matter what also. if he has been there a while he might convince the person to "let him in, he forgot his key."

one thing you might not think about doing is to change your pictures around. go take some new ones of you and your best friends, your family, or pull out faves of other people. heck, cut out pics of celebs to put in the frames (empty ones are no fun).

will you miss him? ya. will you want to call? ya. will you think you can be just friends? ya. but who wants friends like that?

then grab your puppy give some kisses, go for your first free walk in a loong time.

Great Idea!!!! Erase him completely. It will be hard at first, bet like anything else in life it gets easier with time.

I love it. Great advise. You know what book I read to sense men's bullcrap? He's Just Not That Into You. It's GREAT!!! I learned so much. :D

I was kind of in a simular situation, I asked for my money back but I was getting tired of hearing myself!, so I took something of his for collateral and made him buy it back for the amount he owed! it worked then I kicked him beyond the curb! more like off a cliff haha good luck!

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for everyone's support. I does mean a lot to me. Some days are so hard and it all gets to me. I have needed to dump this guy as of 3 years ago, but I am still hear. Thanks for all of your stories and advise. I loved hearing about everything you guys have gone through even though some of those situations sucked! I think we all come out stronger...our opinions surely do!! :D Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!