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Old 03-16-2006, 02:14 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by londonteatime
OMG, Tashasmom, my son will be 18 in April and he's saying the same thing! Is it some sort of fad or is there a TV show promoting this? He's changed so much in the past 6 months I feel like an alien kidnapped my real son and did the ole switcharoo!

Here's how I'm handling it: First off, calmly. I told him that if it's something he's thought out completely and felt he needed to do, he'd be 18 and I really couldn't stop him, legally. LOL, THEN, I asked him to let me know when he was going to do this so I could get his car title transferred to him and then he could get his own insurance.

He said, HUH?! I thought you are paying my insurance! I said, yes, as long as you're here but if you take the car elsewhere then it needs to go in your name and you have to assume all responsibility for it. He asked me how much his car insurance costs and when I told him, he looked really upset, LOL.

I haven't heard a word about him moving out since we had this discussion. He must have added up what an apartment, utilities and car insurance would cost and it hit him like a ton of bricks. He's been a lot more humble lately, too!

My son's going to attend a big university about 800 miles from home and I'm starting to let go a bit. I've realized that in just five months I won't be around to check on him and help him with everything so he needs me to help him make the transition now. I'm not harping about curfews or anything anymore and I'm treating him like another adult.

This is a tough time, isn't it?

Julie
Kuddos to you! I think you handled that great!! A lot better then I would have. I'm sure I'll go off the deep edge the day Danny does that to me..
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Old 03-16-2006, 03:49 PM   #17
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Haha Kids are highly overrated . Thank Gawd for Yorkies ..hahaha
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Old 03-16-2006, 03:55 PM   #18
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LOL
I don't think so!!!
Two of mine get out tomorrow for 4 weeks!!!!
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Old 03-16-2006, 04:00 PM   #19
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I will take any and all teenagers who can shovel horse apples. I will feed them as long as they work..... Send them my way!
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Old 03-16-2006, 08:16 PM   #20
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I'll have to say he's responsible. I told him the other day that I would back him up in whatever he decided but the only thing I asked that he moved to missouri with us..we are going sometime in june and he turns 18 June 22nd. So he has to go with me as long as we go before then. Because he isn't moving out til he is 18 but he agreed he would stay in mo and give it a try.
What really upsets me is he has two years left of high school. He would of graduated next year but he was home schooled for a year and we didn't do the right program apparantely so his credits didn't transfer. But he's o.k. with that. I just don't see how he's going to go to high school plus work a full time job so he can make it. He really wants to go to college and I wish he would wait til he left for college to venture out. But I am trying to let go. I told him I loved him and I'd back him up but it hasn't been easy.
It's nice to hear all of your stories though. It's nice to hear other opinions and to know how you all handled it. I have to say I"m having a real hard time with this. My fear is that he will do what I did. I had him when i was 17 and I just want him to get his life in order before he gets married and starts a family. My biggest fear is he'll move in a girl forget about his dreams of college ect.ect. I probably sound pathetic don't I lol..but dang he's my first born and my baby. It's hard when they hit the age you can't control them anymore lol..but I promise I'll let go I know it's whats best for him. I learned from my mistakes and I know he has to learn from his..I just hope it isn't too much of a struggle for him.
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Old 03-16-2006, 08:33 PM   #21
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I moved out on my "own" (I lived in a dorm room) my first year of college 3 years ago and let me say, I hated it at first! I was miserable and missed home so badly. Eventually..it grew on me and I grew to love it. My second year, I moved into an apartment. My parents agreed to pay my rent, as long as it was the same as the dorms. I pay my other bills, tho. Living on your own definitely has it's ups, I DEFINITELY miss the home cooked meals and days when I didn't have to worry about bills..
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Old 03-16-2006, 08:37 PM   #22
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i moved out at 18 too but i had a son that was 1..gosh i cried for days on end lol..I couldn't beleive my dad had me do it hehe..thats sad isn't it..I knew how to cook and do everything because i had a baby but what I hated was I was scared. Every little noise I heard would have me swearing up and down someone was coming into to get us..i look back and realize what a baby I was myself..
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Old 03-16-2006, 08:42 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onelovelylynn
sure ill take um, as long as they dont mind traveling in a motorhome.......

We dont stay in one place very long, maybe around 3 weeks. But if its ok with them, Sure send um to me. Ill have my yorkie Penny babysit them..LOLOL
Forget the kids..i wanna travel..take me instead..lol
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Old 03-17-2006, 04:51 PM   #24
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When they're little, you think they need you alot, but when they're older they need you even more and their problems are a lot more serious too. All you can do is teach them what you think they need to know and hope for the best. A kid is truly grown up when he admits that yeah mom, you were right all along.
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Old 03-17-2006, 06:42 PM   #25
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We visited friends in Las Vegas and their 18 year old daughter got MARRIED in Feb! She is a freshman in college and just told them she was doing this. I asked the father, "How could you let her do it?" And he said, I tried to talk her out of it, and I couldn't. What could I do, tie her up? Sooooo, maybe just moving out isn't so bad!

By the way I'll take those two teens, you can have my two.
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Old 03-17-2006, 07:21 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by teri88
We visited friends in Las Vegas and their 18 year old daughter got MARRIED in Feb! She is a freshman in college and just told them she was doing this. I asked the father, "How could you let her do it?" And he said, I tried to talk her out of it, and I couldn't. What could I do, tie her up? Sooooo, maybe just moving out isn't so bad!

By the way I'll take those two teens, you can have my two.
Oh no no no no swapping allowed lol..
I too fought with adam but I found myself sitting at the kitchen table (you know where all serious talks happen lol) anyway there we sat. I started crying and I told him..i'm not ready to give you up to the world yet but if it's what you really want you have my blessing..I just told him..i'm going to miss you and I love you and always know you can come back home without any i told you so's..i also told him..that I know life can get tough sometimes and don't think that if he had to come back home that it meant he failed. it just meant that he needed help and that at some time or another everyone needs help. I told him that I was proud of him and I knew that he could do anything he sat his mind to. I told him that i wish that he would wait til he was done with school but I understood why he wanted to.
But gosh darn this is the hardest part in a mothers life..letting your own child enter the world. All of a sudden I see him as that lil newborn..as a toddler taking his first steps..but even though I'm not ready my heart still swells with pride. I've raised my boy to be a fine man so I'm thankful for that. *sob* I don't want my baby to go lol
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Old 03-17-2006, 08:07 PM   #27
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Speaking of teens. I've not told anyone but my son will be 18 this summer and he wants to get his own place *sob* I don't think he's ready he's not out of school yet plus he has college. I will admit and agree he works and he works hard. He pays all of his bills plus he always makes sure he has gas money and never asks me for money. But thats a far cry from living on your own. I have threatened to take his car. i've cried. i've begged. Now I've somewhat resigned. I don't want him to move out period. But I really don't want him to move out with us not on good terms. So what do you do..this is the hardest thing I"ve ever had to endure. How do you let your baby go when he's still just that..
Sorry just had to let it out..
Oh my gosh! Sounds like I have to give some senior "motherly" advice. Been there, done that! Your son sounds like a very responsible young man. One of the hardest things for a mother to do is let their son go. It seems to be more difficult to deal with for sons than daughters. Within a week of each other, our oldest son moved into his own place, out of state, after he graduated from college, our daughter announced she was pregnant with our first grandchild (which I wasn't really ready for) and our youngest was a senior in high school, football season, and everyone on the other teams was "after" him. I cried (privately) for months but never let our oldest son know how upsetting it was for me as we were always extremely close. I blew my daughter away with my response, "You've got to be shi....ting me." And dealing with our youngest was a major challenge. And to top everything off, I was going through menopause at the same time. I honestly don't know how I survived it. Our youngest son will be 32 this fall and he didn't grow up until he was 25, he was the little rebel, but that's another story, or maybe I should say book! Now that he has grown into adulthood, he's become one of the most ultra conservatives there is. Talk about a complete turnaround......... Anyway, what ever you do, don't try to keep him, don't threaten him or try to take away his possessions or you might loose him, especially if he has shown how responsible he can be. Calmly sit down with him and help figure out all the cost that is involved living on your own and be sure to include unexpected expenses. If he's out of high school but wants to go to college, let him know that you would prefer he wait a little while because college going to be different than high school and suggest that he get through 2 years of college first. If he insists on getting his own place before that, he is 18 and considered an adult, even if you don't think he's ready, but then, rarely can a mother admit that their baby has grown up. Make sure you let him know that you will support his decision, even if you don't agree with it and do what ever you can to help him, but not financially. Of course, you know you would do what ever it took should he need your help financially but don't let him know that. Giving him old furniture really isn't like giving him money. And most important, that your home is his home and he's welcome to come back to stay or just to visit anytime. As my kids were growing up, I made sure to teach them some important skills. Both our boys played football, baseball, and basketball from 7th grad on. The first thing I did was teach them how to use the washing machine and in high school, they learned what an iron is for and how to use it. They also learned some simple cooking skills, mostly stuff on the grill. I say simple because I admit I'm not exactly the world's greatest cook. My kids ate a lot of "stuff" growing up. I feel for you. Even though my "kids" are grown and on their own, the oldest will be 39 in June........OH MY GOD!.........they will always be my babies and sometimes it's hard to remember that they ARE adults now. Good luck. Let me know how things are going.
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Old 03-17-2006, 08:31 PM   #28
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MY 14 year old son went from being an athlete & good student to really giving me a run for my money....(not that i have money lol)
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Old 03-17-2006, 08:35 PM   #29
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I totally uunderstand, u r facing empty nest syndrome. My daughter moved out at 18 with her son, i was devastated, but i must admit for a teen mom she really has it together, her own apt, school & full time job!!! i feel for u!
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Old 03-17-2006, 08:37 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lksdolls
Oh my gosh! Sounds like I have to give some senior "motherly" advice. Been there, done that! Your son sounds like a very responsible young man. One of the hardest things for a mother to do is let their son go. It seems to be more difficult to deal with for sons than daughters. Within a week of each other, our oldest son moved into his own place, out of state, after he graduated from college, our daughter announced she was pregnant with our first grandchild (which I wasn't really ready for) and our youngest was a senior in high school, football season, and everyone on the other teams was "after" him. I cried (privately) for months but never let our oldest son know how upsetting it was for me as we were always extremely close. I blew my daughter away with my response, "You've got to be shi....ting me." And dealing with our youngest was a major challenge. And to top everything off, I was going through menopause at the same time. I honestly don't know how I survived it. Our youngest son will be 32 this fall and he didn't grow up until he was 25, he was the little rebel, but that's another story, or maybe I should say book! Now that he has grown into adulthood, he's become one of the most ultra conservatives there is. Talk about a complete turnaround......... Anyway, what ever you do, don't try to keep him, don't threaten him or try to take away his possessions or you might loose him, especially if he has shown how responsible he can be. Calmly sit down with him and help figure out all the cost that is involved living on your own and be sure to include unexpected expenses. If he's out of high school but wants to go to college, let him know that you would prefer he wait a little while because college going to be different than high school and suggest that he get through 2 years of college first. If he insists on getting his own place before that, he is 18 and considered an adult, even if you don't think he's ready, but then, rarely can a mother admit that their baby has grown up. Make sure you let him know that you will support his decision, even if you don't agree with it and do what ever you can to help him, but not financially. Of course, you know you would do what ever it took should he need your help financially but don't let him know that. Giving him old furniture really isn't like giving him money. And most important, that your home is his home and he's welcome to come back to stay or just to visit anytime. As my kids were growing up, I made sure to teach them some important skills. Both our boys played football, baseball, and basketball from 7th grad on. The first thing I did was teach them how to use the washing machine and in high school, they learned what an iron is for and how to use it. They also learned some simple cooking skills, mostly stuff on the grill. I say simple because I admit I'm not exactly the world's greatest cook. My kids ate a lot of "stuff" growing up. I feel for you. Even though my "kids" are grown and on their own, the oldest will be 39 in June........OH MY GOD!.........they will always be my babies and sometimes it's hard to remember that they ARE adults now. Good luck. Let me know how things are going.
Well i sat here and read your post and cried like a baby..I know this forum is for yorkies but I am soooo happy for all of u that have went through and are going through what I am. YOu are such a big help to me. I have to admit I don't have friends because i have wrapped myself up in my husband kids and my animals so I didn't really have anyone to turn to. I really mean this when I say..THANK YOU SO MUCH..
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