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-   -   should i tell her he's cheating? (https://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/off-topic-discussions/30272-should-i-tell-her-hes-cheating.html)

vainchick5 01-30-2006 04:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by red98vett
But NOW you have something you know about HIM and I have a feeling that would get his attention - call it a bargaining chip....You don't tell & he starts acting like a man and putting his daughter first.....

GREAT IDEA Vilette :thumbup:

orinskye 01-30-2006 04:37 PM
OH SORRY..... i thought you were friends with the woman, i need to stop skimming....... yeah..... dont tell her ..... :thumbdown

reneernc 01-30-2006 04:38 PM
I wouldn't say anything. Normally is true, the messenger is shot...you will likely end up being viewed as a troublemaker and they will find someone else to keep the children. Sounds like a horrible situation, but I would stick it out for the little girl.

teresa20051969 01-30-2006 04:54 PM
it's your husbands friend and it will probably break up their friendship and you don't need trouble with your own husband so i would stay out of it. maybe he don't love his wife but feels stuck because he has a child by her and already raising his own daughter by another woman. i would just make sure the little girl is cared for and let everything else go. thats my advice :thumbup:

MisaRaye 01-30-2006 05:02 PM
I would say stay out of it. Someone else's marriage, especially someone who is not a friend of yours, is none of your business. Also, could it possibly be that you want to tell her BECAUSE you don't like her and you want to hurt her? Devote your time to keeping your own house clean instead of cleaning someone else's.

chattiesmom 01-30-2006 05:06 PM
Always remember, that a PICTURE is worth a thousand words. I'd take a picture of the dude with his girlies and mail it to her. Just a "group shot" taken publicly with him acting like a silly school boy.

jesscruz 01-30-2006 05:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisaRaye
I would say stay out of it. Someone else's marriage, especially someone who is not a friend of yours, is none of your business. Also, could it possibly be that you want to tell her BECAUSE you don't like her and you want to hurt her? Devote your time to keeping your own house clean instead of cleaning someone else's.
absolutley not! believe me if i wanted to hurt her i wouldn't even have to bring up the cheating issue, just by me telling her what i think of her would hurt her, and if those were my intentions, then i would have done that already. i do have a heart, and that's why i have not told her off. my words cut like a knife, i feel that it is my obligation as this girl's daycare provider to make sure she is safe and being treated right. she is only 8 yrs old for god's sake! this woman says cuss words at her and everything. and she is sucha sweet girl, she always says yes maa'm everything. so why not try to look out for her. and as for me keeping my own house clean,believe me i do it everyday, i dare and challenge anyone to try and find something wrong with my household.

MisaRaye 01-30-2006 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesscruz
absolutley not! believe me if i wanted to hurt her i wouldn't even have to bring up the cheating issue, just by me telling her what i think of her would hurt her, and if those were my intentions, then i would have done that already. i do have a heart, and that's why i have not told her off. my words cut like a knife, i feel that it is my obligation as this girl's daycare provider to make sure she is safe and being treated right. she is only 8 yrs old for god's sake! this woman says cuss words at her and everything. and she is sucha sweet girl, she always says yes maa'm everything. so why not try to look out for her. and as for me keeping my own house clean,believe me i do it everyday, i dare and challenge anyone to try and find something wrong with my household.
Then why is the title of your thread "should I tell her he's cheating" as opposed to "Should I help this little girl"? For the record, I'm not saying your house isn't clean, what I AM saying is your time is better spent taking care of your own business and leaving others' alone. As far as the little girl is concerned, if you feel she is being mistreated by this woman, speak to her father about THAT. Anything else ( his extra-curricular activities), is none of your business.

teresa20051969 01-30-2006 05:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesscruz
absolutley not! believe me if i wanted to hurt her i wouldn't even have to bring up the cheating issue, just by me telling her what i think of her would hurt her, and if those were my intentions, then i would have done that already. i do have a heart, and that's why i have not told her off. my words cut like a knife, i feel that it is my obligation as this girl's daycare provider to make sure she is safe and being treated right. she is only 8 yrs old for god's sake! this woman says cuss words at her and everything. and she is sucha sweet girl, she always says yes maa'm everything. so why not try to look out for her. and as for me keeping my own house clean,believe me i do it everyday, i dare and challenge anyone to try and find something wrong with my household.
your absalutely right about the little girl . i don't blame you also for taking that affensive. i would too. if i was you though i think i would talk to my husband and tell him you don't feel right about the whole situation and make a decission together about what to do :thumbup:

alisonJ 01-30-2006 05:23 PM
Absolutely stay out of it. She is not a friend of yours, and she will not be grateful. It is impossible to know what is going on in another couple's marriage, and although you might think you understand the dynamics of their marriage, your probably do not.

I believe most women know when their husbands are cheating, and if not the husband will get tired of the situation at some point and probably ask for a divorce or 'fess up.

I have been in this situation a few times. The older you get, the more you will see it happen. It's sad, but it is not your problem. The only time I would get involved was 1--if one of the people involved was my sister or 2--someone was being physically abused.

jesscruz 01-30-2006 05:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisaRaye
Then why is the title of your thread "should I tell her he's cheating" as opposed to "Should I help this little girl"? For the record, I'm not saying your house isn't clean, what I AM saying is your time is better spent taking care of your own business and leaving others' alone. As far as the little girl is concerned, if you feel she is being mistreated by this woman, speak to her father about THAT. Anything else ( his extra-curricular activities), is none of your business.
yes i know, exactly why i was asking "should i", if you go back and reread my post you will see where i say i think i should stay out of it. as for the little girl, now that is my buisness...

MisaRaye 01-30-2006 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesscruz
yes i know, exactly why i was asking "should i", if you go back and reread my post you will see where i say i think i should stay out of it. as for the little girl, now that is my buisness...
As a daycare provider, by law you are obligated to report any type of abuse, so that one is a no-brainer. As a grown woman with common sense, getting involved in someone else's marriage where 1: the man isn't your friend he is your husband's friend and 2: you don't even like the woman and she isn't a friend of yours is insane, and is also a no-brainer. Go with your instinct and stay out of the marriage, but protect the child. :)

Thorsmomma 01-30-2006 05:34 PM
I totally agree with you. She probably just 'doesn't want to know'. If you have made it that clear then she is probably in denial. It sounds like she is in her own little world anyways to be treating her stepdaughter the way she is. She makes the horrible name for stepmothers...

YorkieRose 01-30-2006 05:37 PM
problem
 
I would not say anything, so you can remain in the children's life. You are no doubt one bright spot in their difficult life. Expect nothing from this woman in the way of thanks and appreciation, you already know you are not doing it for her, you are making an emotional impact on the children and they will never forget it. Most children can grow up fairly stable if they know at least one person who cares about them. You have an opportunity to make the world just a bit better for another human being, lucky you.

gymbo68 01-30-2006 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by txshopper73
First of all, I would have a long talk with this guy on how this woman treats his daughter. While he's out screwing around, the wife has to know something/suspect and may be taking it out on the little girl. That is not right AT ALL! Also, if he's not going to protect his daughter, maybe someone of higher authority will (like his first shirt if he's Airforce). I knew of a little girl that was killed at the hands of her stepmonster and she was only 3. You don't know the full extent of it since you're not in their home and it can't get any better but will only get worse.

As far as the cheating, it's not your concern. I would say different if she was a friend but seriously, I'm more worried about this little girl and the long term damage she will suffer from this monster. Protect the innocent...protect the children. Forget the adults, they made their own beds...now they can lie in it!!!!! :mad:

These are my thoughts exactly... :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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